Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Stopped binge eating and compulsive eating!


jae bear

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

 I do believe I can successfully say that I have stopped these terrible habits since my last post admitting to myself that I was out of control. I do get a little Nibley at night but I try to grab something not too terrible for me, but unfortunately I keep grabbing things with high sodium content which really isn’t good for my Bad right leg, it makes it hurt and swell up a little. I’ve developed this craving for pickled things, and my wife has been very kind to find all sorts of pickled things that I like, unfortunately I’m having a little trouble moderating myself with them, but I think I can work on it. A couple days ago  she bought me pickled beets, as I simply could not find them in the store, I don’t know why I crave pickled beets but they are the most delicious thing in the world!  I know it sounds disgusting but I even try to sip at the brine in the jar once I’ve eaten all the beats, I know I shouldn’t do that it’s probably terrible for me but there’s something about it I just can’t control myself. I really need to just put a cut off time on my food, I was thinking 7 o’clock but now I think eight is probably more realistic, I typically have a glass of milk after working out if I can remember to do that. I drink a lot of water during my workout so I’m not exactly feeling like I need anything when I get back home, I’d be doing much better if I’d simply cut out anything from 8 o’clock till bedtime except water. I guess the good news is I weighed in at the doctor Yesterday 18 pounds lower than my last weigh in, my doctor said she was shocked, that I look so different that she could really tell things are happening even though she knows HRT takes a long time. I think it was mostly just because I had a really clean shaved face and my hair is starting to get a little long around the ears and neck, I suppose 18 pounds of weight loss Makes my face and shape look a little different too. I really need to break this bad habit of eating late at night and specifically of turning to these high sodium content pickled items, although sometimes I really want tomato juice with hot sauce and celery, which is also super high in sodium, while I’ve backed off the calorie count and fat content I am replacing it with an off a lot of salt which just isn’t good for me. Do any of you have some suggestions that might get me past this hurdle? Or should I just go buy a girdle and call it a night?

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Hi there! I don't have advice re: salt, unfortunately, but the pickle cravings made me think of a comic I saw the other day! It sounds like you're doing a great job with things. I've found that when I'm trying to make dietary changes, doing one change at a time and sticking with it until it becomes habit before starting the next change has helped. It's less overwhelming than changing lots of things at once and makes goals feel more attainable (for me). 

pickles.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

HA!!!!!  I guess I’m not alone, this must be a serious issue for all of us trans girls...  That comic is hilarious I have to send it to my wife right now !!!!  There’s always the possibility that it will be more trouble than it’s worth but I can’t stand it it’s too funny !!!

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

That’s so weird. I’ve loved pickles like forever. I go through a big, and I mean big jar like every 2-3 weeks. If it gets worse imma turn into a pickle. Lmao. 

Glad you’re doing well with your dieting. It’s hard at first but it does get easier. And once you get to your goal size you can cheat a little at least. Keep it up Jae!! 

Link to comment

OMG! That's hilarious! I've been randomly saying I like pickles and other things involving pickles. So now I'm curious, why I say that! Hahah xD

Link to comment

Lmao, great cartoon! I could eat a whole jar of pickles at one sitting, that or olives. (or both!!!)

 

Link to comment

 I think dietary habits just take time to foster and iron will not to follow your taste buds. Though it is funny to see; I've always preferred salty/savory foods over sweets, but since about my 8th month on HRT this almost doubles. I can barely stand anything that's sweet now and I feel like I constantly need things with more sodium. Specifically dill pickles or v8 tomato juice. I literally feel like I can't get enough.

-Valyn

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

OMG! V8 juice with Tapitio hot sauce! Yum yum yum yum yum.... where’s my celery?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
14 hours ago, ChickenLittle said:

Hi there! I don't have advice re: salt, unfortunately, but the pickle cravings made me think of a comic I saw the other day! It sounds like you're doing a great job with things. I've found that when I'm trying to make dietary changes, doing one change at a time and sticking with it until it becomes habit before starting the next change has helped. It's less overwhelming than changing lots of things at once and makes goals feel more attainable (for me). 

pickles.jpg

OMG...  i’ve come back to this cartoon at least five times now and every time it makes me laugh, and every time I noticed a little something different. Now I’m starting to realize what I’m seeing, and it’s freaking me out just a little bit. So OK, I love purple, but who here doesn’t think purples awesome? I’m a brunette, and I will have a cute little haircut that looks exactly like the girl in the cartoon, wait that’s weird OK maybe I should explore this more. All right so the girl in the cartoon has my haircolor and my hairstyle, loves to wear purple  and is a big freak about pickles, yeah that kind of sums it up, the only thing that’s missing from this cartoon is the Knee brace on her right knee and a cane laying in the grass near her. Of course in my cartoon the partner would also be a girl, but then again it’s kind of hard to tell, that could be a girl, yeah that’s what I see I think, that’s definitely a girl she’s partnered with... I get it now!

HA!

Hugs,

Jae

PS.  I summarily reject universal reality and substitute my own...

Link to comment

I have a huge sweet tooth and it certainly doesn't help that I am a Pastry Chef during the day. I am a huge chocolate chip cookie freak who can cut the dough each night and bake a dozen for a nights consumption. I need to stop this. I have always been tall since male youth and younger days as a male. Maybe I just need that tooth that is the sweet one pulled. ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well... I am still chugging along, the scale said 209 this morning, but I think today is an 'up' day and the scale will soon drop a bit. I've been feeling really down lately, and it makes it hard to push through the self care things that I usually enjoy so much. I wish there was a way I could help my wife feel better, but I think she is going to have to travel some of this painful journey on her own. I find it so hard to fall back and let her have space, it seems so foreign to me. Last night we went to the ascension service at church to see our daughter sing with her class, and so many people came up to me to tell me how much I have changed it made me super self conscious and it made my wife visibly upset. Nobody knows what is really happening, but they all see something and feel the need to come tell me and my wife and stare at me. Everyone is saying the same thing, that I look 10 years younger, and that I look so much different. Even our Pastor was shocked by the changes, I can't image how shocked he will be when he learns the truth. How am I possibly going to maintain and hide all this in boy mode for another year?

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

I understand, Jae. It's really hard to feel as though you need to explain, but not being able/willing to share the true reasons for things. People worry that you're sick, etc. 

The story that's been easiest for people to understand is diet/exercise..."oh, thank you! I've really been working on getting in shape and eating well. yada yada yada." Seems like people just want some sort of explanation and they don't really care too much about what it is as long as it sort of makes sense. ?

I don't remember, though. What's the reason for needing to maintain/hide in boy mode? Just a choice you and your wife have made or is there some other reason?

Link to comment

well as far as the diet, you need to be okay with up weeks. They happen. It doesn’t mean anything bad, just that your body is starting to figure your new diet/exercise routine out. Try changing it up. I jump from keto diet to a more normal diet every other month now. And it seems to work for my body. I’ve gained 5 pounds in the last 2 weeks too. But that’s from exercise. Maybe some from not being on e at the moment too. But I’m still losing inches. Basically all I’m saying is take care of your body with a healthy diet, change up your habits regularly, and you’ll get where you want to. 208 used to be my number I couldn’t get below. But I hit 171 a couple months ago. 

The wife things harder though. I am in the same boat. But I keep trying as hard as I can to give her space. It works some days. Not so much others. But whether it works or not it has to happen. I am convinced that out of everyone that’s affected our spouses get it the worst. Way worse than us. My wife cries to me that she’s being selfish all the time. She sees how happy I am. And because I have no real plan on when to actually transition she feels like she’s holding me back. It’s not true but it’s still in her head so it’s something that has to be dealt with. 

I read a lot of your posts. And you are doing a great job imho. You always try to help her. That’s all we can do. Ultimately everyone is an individual. They get to decide what’s right for them. Whether it’s true or not. I think you’re going to be happy at the end of this. And that’s what we are all here for. ?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I do appreciate the nice words, but I think I blew it bad tonight. I made a horrible mistake that cannot be corrected And it affects my family... My wife is furious and no longer believes a word I say, and honestly why would she? She wants a divorce and it’s rather final this time, I have no idea if she’ll change her mind but right now she means it.  I know I’ve Hurt her, I have lied to her, and I’ve never been really very honest with her until I came out. And all those years of lies are paying me back right now. I didn’t mean to make the mistake that Caused her to want a divorce, but I have absolutely no defense and to everyone including myself it really does look like I did this on purpose. It’s just the worst possible timing in the worst possible event, I don’t even think she loves me anymore. This sucks.

Link to comment

Jae, I'm so sorry that this happened. I know that you love your wife and that you would do anything to save your marriage. I wish I had words to encourage you, but the only thing I can do is to keep you and your wife in my prayers. Hopefully, things will work out for you.

 

BIG hugs,

Brandi

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, today was better... and the scale read 204 so that was nice, I guess that makes it 29 pounds now?

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

 My wife got us matching Apple watches as an early 15th anniversary gift, seems a little coincidental now that I realize we may never make it to the end of the month to reach that 15 year marriage goal. I still don’t know what to do with the gift I bought her, I gave one of the items to my daughter to give to her for Mother’s Day and that was a big hit, the bracelet with the happy anniversary charm on it might not go over so well but I guess we’ll see. I guess if it doesn’t work out I’ll save it for myself so maybe a year from now or so when I’m ready I can change that one charm to something meaningful for myself and enjoy that expensive Pandora bracelet with the heart clasp. Anyway I guess back to the topic I was trying to get to, the Apple Watch has a great exercise and movement tracker that I use daily, it counts all your calories and steps plus distance, all the important things for someone interested in fitness. It even has a stationary bicycle work out setting that I use every day when I do my work out. Currently I have it set to an 1100 calories per day threshold and I usually shoot it over by 100 or so calories, I just wish it had some way to record the intake of calories daily so you could see a Chart of progress and carefully monitor your calorie intake and expenditure so you know you’re in a healthy weight loss zone and not something that would strip protein and muscle from yourself.

Link to comment

I've used www.cronometer.com to track food intake and nutrients and liked it! I know you can sync it up with a fitbit  so maybe it could sync with an apple watch too?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@ChickenLittle   I was looking around for apps and my wife recommended something called SparkPeople, that she found in the App Store and it seems to have a good following and a reasonable reputation. I haven’t played with it yet but it seems like it has an easy calorie counter and something that would balance protein carbs and other nutrients to give you a fairly decent meal planning and work out balance. And I guess it’s official, even though the scale still says 204, I think I went up and then went back down but that’s kind of normal, people are starting to actually Call me skinny, although I disagree with them. My wife was squeezing my arm and shoulder this morning and said you’re getting shinny! I don’t think you’ve ever felt this skinny our whole marriage! I suppose she might be right, I remember weighing 197 pounds when I met her, except I was much more muscly and had an inch or maybe even 2 inches more height that I don’t have now, it’s weird what two huge titanium deck screws will do when they screw your butt back onto your spine with them.

So, it looks like my days of providing squishy hugs are officially over, but I have just been ending most of my posts with the salute, hugs, so that seems like it was a change that was bound to come anyway. Other than that I’m staying on my routine very well, I’m fully invested and have just simply changed the way that I eat, I came home from my workout about 30 minutes ago, had my small box of chocolate milk, (by the way that’s a great way to end your routine, chocolate milk has some stuff in it that’s really good for you right after work out), I looked at the fridge and thought, do I want something? and I said to myself, nope, I just want to go read my Jenny Boylan book.

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Well, two things to report, I finished reading Jenny Boylan’s book she’s not there, fantastic by the way if you haven’t read it pick up a copy. And I am just now tickling the 200 pound mark, I should dip down into the 199.9 or sub category any day now, I’m glad I only bought two pairs of pants because they’re going to be too big faster than I realized, I just put together two garbage bags full of clothes I can’t wear anymore that I have to take down to the donation center.

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Great, Jae! One benefit of getting smaller is having a justification for shopping. ?

What are you reading next?

Hugs,
Julie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hey Julie,

yes that is a great idea! I do you love shopping, but I’m continuing to shrink so it wouldn’t make sense to kit out a full wardrobe at this time, it would not be prudent at this juncture. I have to see which of the two books that I have left I’m going to read next, after I get home from the trans woman support group at the BDF center tonight I’ll pick one and report back.

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Forum Moderator

 Hey Julie, sorry it took me so long to respond, seems like I’ve been moving forever, then unpacking forever, then assembling furniture forever, but I’ve decided to read ‘she is not the man I married’, Even though it’s from the point of view of a spouse or of a person in transition, it’s always good to see two sides of the same perspective if ever possible... I finally feel like I can settle in and start back to my routine, I wanted to go work out tonight but I couldn’t figure out where my workout gear was and it got too late to consider doing it with a realistic bedtime. I’m Going to try to start working out again tomorrow, I really need the endorphins and I haven’t been able to lose a single pound during the whole process of moving even though I’ve eaten carefully!

Hugs,

Jae

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 153 Guests (See full list)

    • Betty K
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...