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I'm not sure if I'm genderqueer?

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So, I've been thinking for the past about year how sometimes I just want to go out and not be recognised as female. I've never really felt any different as a small child as I've read many trans/genderqueer people have, I was always the normal little girl who loved princess dresses and all that jazz, but I think I would prefer to be referenced more as male/masculine non-binary than female. I'm not really upset or uncomfortable about being cis female, but it just makes me feel much better when people aren't sure of my gender. I'm kinda trying to work through this, so if anyone had any helpful advice it would be fully appreciated

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Welcome RamCams.  There are quite a few folks who don't realize until later in life that their uncomfortable or uncertain with their gender, so don't feel alone in this.  You can definitely change things up if you want by selecting a more androgynous wardrobe and haircut.  Mix in some feminine jewelry to round out the look.  You can change your look by how you feel each day, more masculine or more feminine.  Its all up to you.  Have fun.


Cheers, Jani

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Hey there,


I think I may be where you are??? Sometimes I feel okay being female, not good or bad, just okay. But then there are days where I feel as though I am for sure Male. On those days, I have extreme dysphoria. I'm not too sure how to handle it, as I am confused. On days with extreme dysphoria I dont feel genderfluid, I feel as though I'm trans. However, I have noticed on days I dont feel Male, my dysphoria isnt all that bad and the thought of transitioning doesnt seem to be a necessity anymore. 


I have been having these swing for about 3 years, but just in the last 6 months or so it has really started with extreme swings and dysphoria. I've opened up with my husband about my thoughts and feelings and hes been extremely understanding.


On days I feel feminine I wear my makeup and my dresses. On days I feel masculine, my husband will call me by my chosen name and pronouns. I wear tshirts and basketball shorts and boxers with my hair thrown up. I use sports bras to flatten and am considering a binder. If I'm home i even pack with socks for now. But I want to get a real packer. My problem is I'm not out to anyone except my husband. So while I can get away with flattening my chest, shearing boxers basketball shorts and tshirt, I'm not sure how walking around with a packer would go over. :(


I hope this helps some. And maybe if you figure it out more you could let me know. :)

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Guest Rachel Gia

Hi there,

I am part of an AA community in Vancouver and where a great deal of the xx members use the 'they' pronoun and for that matter change their pronouns often from she, to they them, she they, or she her. The thing that stays the same is usually the first name which for xx chromosome types is usually a male name but sometimes female.

Judging from the demographics within the group I would say that those identifying as trans make up the smallest percentage of the non cis members with xx non binary or "they. them' being the largest percentage of non binary members.

What am I trying to say?

Non Binary presenting seems to be the emerging majority in the non cis spectrum, in particular xx non binary and regardless you are among a great group of loving caring people!

Ciao for now:)




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      First of all Welcome! It's great to have you here! I have deleted and or walked away from many many posts, cause sometimes my mind wants to say a whole bunch, sometimes it flows, and sometimes it gets all tangled up. After i come back and read a bit more in here, i find i am able to write most of what I wanted to say in the post. Sometimes I "ramble on," but I feel better getting it out, instead of bottling it up. The TP community helps me with my thoughts and questions, and later I can see what and how i was thinking.  As abstract as you might think your thoughts are, they will make sense to us, cause we are and have been where you are right now, in some form shape and manner,   we either understand and/or can be here for you to help. (I hope all of that made sense, lol)  
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      Thank you all so much for the warm welcome!   I'm really looking forward to dive in! Just need to sort out my thoughts into words first. I find myself wanting to write something only to end up in a haze of abstract thoughts unsure of how to translate it into language.  I struggle a lot to articulate myself, so it's nice to be in a safe space like this to try and express myself and get input from other transgender peers.   Thank you! ❤️
    • Charlize
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      Hi Carol,   Welcome!   Tracy
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      Hi Dain,   Welcome!   Tracy
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