maybe problem=/=cause heck idunno

[MicahKj]

kind of stressed tonight, something occurred to me recently and i'm honestly questioning whether some of the "feminine" parts of me i've been trying to cover up and pass over actually have anything to do with my sex at all, like what if they're not a normal "female" thing, and just something wrong with me in particular. i've been going over what i've thought for years now, that i figured i don't need to bind, if i could just build my core up as wide as my ribs i could get rid of a lot of my "girl-shape" and pass so much better, that's something fat/muscle gain would help lots with, i've been trying to put on fat for a few years now and got into resistance tubes a while ago. but i just realized earlier tonight that i don't actually have an effeminate trunk shape to build up. my waist is already as wide as my ribs, and my gut is a bit wider than both, but it's still not as wide as my hips and it has nothing to do with having an effeminate waist. my stomach region isn't smaller than my ribs because my ribcage is only barely wider than my head.  i'm 22 years old and have the ribcage of a 6 year old and i don't know what the hell that is but it's not a woman thing. i've seen plenty of women that aren't built like this. for all i know, all the effort i've put into putting on fat and muscle has been completely useless, and the only reason my trunk is as wide as my ribs is because my ribcage is too narrow to hold my organs. what if my digestive tract is too small or constricted to keep up with feeding my body and that's why my metabolism is so ridiculous, what if i'm never going to be able to put on either fat or muscle just because my body is too warped or deformed to store up what it needs to feed itself, what if there was a way to fix this so i could grow up the rest of the way but now it'll never work because i'm over 20 and my bones are just stuck this way

my ribs show, my collarbone could stab someone to death, my arms are near-skeletal, and my hips, despite being almost a normal teenage width atleast(maybe normal for a 12yo boy anyway), have almost no meat to fill them out and each corner of the pelvis juts out like on a carcass. i frequently feel my bones rubbing against the inside of my skin when i switch positions and my back is stuck curved so i can't even lay down flat on a hard surface. i'm not reevaluating my gender at all because i definitely still feel like a man without question but on the other hand i think i really need to take a harder look at some of the problems i have that i've just by default associated with being assigned female and frick's sake it's giving me such a headache

[tracy_j]

I must admit that I have found that we often make sweeping assumptions as to how we look in comparison to others. This is verified with both mine and others in my artgroup's artwork. As an artist I really need to look at things to be able to draw and paint them correctly. We often draw what we think we see. In a similar way, most people don't really see who they look at.

 

When I first really started looking at what women wore to determine what I should buy, I sat in the mall, and really looked at women. I got several surprises. The main thing though, that ought to be obvious, was that women come in all different shapes and sizes. For intance, even though my waist is essentially larger than the stereotypical woman's there were quite a few passed me with similar proportions to myself. I found that trying to compare my body to that of a woman did not really mean that much. Obviously my face is something else, but a little makeup helps. It does make me think, when I read on the forum, that many people are trying too hard when they don't need to be.

 

I think what I am essentially saying here is, in general terms, don't worry too much about your body. Keeping healthy and fit is far more important. As you say, you are who you are and your frame, essentially, cannot be changed. If you have real concern, consult a doctor.

 

Just my view.

 

Tracy