Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Sign in to follow this  

Recommended Posts

Lily

Hello Everyone,

 

Today I have a court hearing to legally change my name from Lee to Lilith. I had a conversation with my HR rep about notifying staff, and they've deferred this daunting task to my judgement. Ideally, I'd like to send out an email to all staff notifying them of the name change so as to avoid frustration (on both ends) and confusion. I would also like them to begin using they/them/their.

 

I am, of course, nervous about how to approach this task, but I know it's something I want. I know it won't be an instant change, and people are going to accidentally or deliberately refer to be incorrectly. Does anyone have any advice on approaching this in a work environment?

 

Thank you.

Share this post


Link to post
Cthorne

Hahaha I told my boss and I got back that they are fully supportive but I can't have Connor as my name because she don't like it lol she said that Connor paired with my surname sounds like a spaghetti meal (her exact words!!!) Good luck with everything tho :D 

 

My boss told the two people that will be covering for others so they are prepared but it seems like I will be the one to tell everyone else... fair enough I only work with three other people and one of them happens to be my brother who already knows. :D 

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Lily it depends upon the size of the company you work in.  Unless its small, I would just communicate to the team you work with.  Some people do send emails.  If you do, don't go overboard with explanations and all.  You're changing your gender and presentation and this is your new name and pronouns you want to be addressed as.  Leave the details to one on one talks with friends.  Others do not need that data.

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
Lily

Thank you for the replies. Jani, that makes sense that I don't want to overcomplicate the email; if they have questions, they can ask me directly instead of giving everyone a novel to read. :P It's really tough to explain sometimes what non-binary means anyway, and I doubt an email would suffice, but that's a whole other topic.

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Personally I prefer not to use email as it can passed around later without your knowledge, whereas actually telling people is a nice direct way to communicate.  Best of luck with whatever method you select. 

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
Ravin

For a lot of people, simply changing your signature line in emails should be enough to get the point across, I'd think.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 30 Guests (See full list)

    • Monroe_C
    • RithiaAllen
    • Martyn
    • Xilendra
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Carolyn Marie
    • MaryEllen
  • Who Was Online

    100 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • RithiaAllen
    • Monroe_C
    • Martyn
    • Xilendra
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • MaryEllen
    • Jani
    • Willow
    • SugarMagnolia
    • Willa
    • Naomi Knowles
    • My name isn’t Megan
    • Miss Linnea
    • Summer
    • Michelle F
    • jae bear
    • jo jo
    • Beth48009
    • Susan
    • typeox1jo
    • Ashlee
    • Carly Hughes
    • Lisamarietv2000
    • Katt
    • Nicks1
    • MaryMary
    • Stephi
    • Cyndee
    • Timber Wolf
    • tracy_j
    • Kirsten
    • Kylie Rey
    • Jennifer T
    • KymmieL
    • KC1
    • Petra Jane
    • VictoriasMom
    • Adaline
    • AsTheCrow
    • Susan R
    • hmillerrr
    • princecharmless
    • Cloee
    • TclosetGirl
    • VickySGV
    • BrandiBri
    • Cluck1992
    • kaye the grey
    • Aspen
    • Mickey
    • EvanC
    • Jocelyn
    • Ronin82
    • Dev
    • Sharon Aml
    • Michelle135
    • Elijah
    • LarryCopano
    • MelissaAndProudOfIt
    • StephieTX
    • Elyssia
    • Zedarius
    • njcadi
    • Jackie C.
    • Perséfone
    • Mike
    • KC
    • Charlize
    • Brea 27
    • Delicious
    • NewLife336
    • Robin
    • Andrea
    • GothicLucas
    • Janeshannon
    • Kimosabe
    • Mona
    • TiaMaria
    • Tgirllvr81
    • nitehwk
    • Rachael
    • Cat Lady Kelly
    • BrandenLeon
    • Annabelle
    • Louis123
    • Sage4312
    • Thaanzer
    • Grwl
    • MayaK
    • Werzle
    • MarcieMarie12
    • Katy Ann
    • Wae
    • Evelyn1992
    • Snow Princess Sophie
    • scress19
    • JJ
    • Terry
    • Laurianna Payot
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      66,585
    • Total Posts
      602,369
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      4,125
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Xilendra
    Newest Member
    Xilendra
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Angie.Dee
      Angie.Dee
      (27 years old)
    2. Charlie8
      Charlie8
      (15 years old)
    3. jade2003bs
      jade2003bs
    4. wolfsirens
      wolfsirens
      (21 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      First of all, let me welcome you to Trans Pulse, Xilendra.   Your situation is a common one, and at your age, a difficult one to deal with.  You have to ask yourself a couple of questions; are you dependent on your parents for food and shelter and economic survival (school, car, insurance, etc)?  If you got kicked out or cut off financially, are there other relatives or friends you could count on for support?   If the answer to the first question is yes, and the answer to the second question is no, you may not have a choice besides keeping the status quo, at least for now.  There are too many trans youth who came out to parents only to find themselves homeless or in dire straits.  It is a risk you have to think about carefully before you make a decision.  One approach you might try is to come out to your mother and ask her to work on your father on your behalf, rather than approaching him directly.  You can give your mom written materials explaining transgender issues.  They are widely available on sites such as Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and PFLAG.   Whatever you do, please don't despair.   There are always ways to solve problems, and sometimes solutions will become apparent with a little time and patience.  In the meantime, check our our Chat Room or talk to us in these forums to help work things out.  That's what  we're here for.   I hope that helps a little.  I know others will come along and have even better advice.  I wish you luck   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Martyn
      Death to me is a way out of being left with nothing in my life, my world was my family - that’s not only collapsed but gone for good, my workshop is a very cold environment this time of year, I would always look to get the work done quickly to go home sooner to be with them both, now that’s gone. I have hated my work for years and have lost all pleasure from it and struggle continuously to stay afloat let alone earn a living. I’ve not a single friend whatsoever, I am a loner. there is nothing left anymore, nothing 
    • Jani
      Hello and welcome!   The idea that your thoughts are due to social media, friends or your medication is unfounded.  It's none of that.  Seeking the counsel of a therapist is a good idea.  Coming to realize you are not the gender you were raised as doesn't always happen when we are young, or older for that matter.  It's all very personal and not to be thought of as following a strict timeline.  Many of us MtF grow up participating in very masculine activities seemingly as a way of proving to ourselves we are OK.  But of course, we are OK.  This is our normal and no one can take that from you.     Talk with your therapist, be honest, and determine what you want and need to do.     Cheers, Jani
    • Jani
      It scared me as well but as I found once you start to reveal who you are it gets easier and easier.  The idea is to not worry about what others think since you can only control what you think.   Taking small steps is great advice.     All my best, Jani
    • Xilendra
      Okay, so here is the deal, I am a male, 19 years old. I still live with my parents, and we are very close with eachother. I have been for the last 2 years, thinking about transitioning, and naturally, I resisted it for so long. Well, now I know how harmful that is. My mom I am almost positive would be accepting of it, probably would be disappointed. My dad however, I have heard his opinion towards the subject of trans people. Outside of my parents, I do not have much of a social life, I do not have friends, and nobody knows about this. I am at the point where, either I go through with it, or I end up blowing my brains out. Please, I need help, or advice.
    • SugarMagnolia
      It scared me to death for many years. I really had a hard time imagining it working. But I've taken small steps over the last few and am now out 100% at work and full time everywhere.   Everyone's situation is different, but my work transition has been really easy. I'm a software engineer so not dealing with the public all the time but it's gone really well.    Your mileage may vary, but every fear I've had has turned out much better in practice than I expected.   You could start with small steps though and take your time getting more comfortable with each step. There's nothing that says you have to end up in a certain spot so try each new thing on and then see if you want to do more.   ~Julie    
    • My name isn’t Megan
      I’m a twenty year old who was born male, but recently I’ve been inclined to believe that I wish to transition to being a woman. I’ve just recently informed my parents of how I feel, who were supportive, if not a little confused. This is a somewhat recent development in my life; growing up, I didn’t have a lot of female tendencies (like wanting to wear a dress or play with girl’s toys), and I never felt uncomfortable with a male body. Across the span of this year, however, I’ve felt this nagging curiosity about what it would be like to become a girl. This curiosity has grown in recent months, so much that I think about it almost every day. The suddent growth of these feelings is what has me conflicted; I feel very strongly that I would be happier as a girl, but I don’t know why I feel so strongly all of a suddent. My mom thinks it might have something to do with outside influence (like media or friends or my antidepressants, Zoloft EQ for reference), and I’m honestly unsure as to exactly why myself. I plan to seek out a geneder therapist to help me with the process, but I’m looking for any advice that I can get as to how I can figure out who I am, who I want to be, and how I can get there.    Thanks very much for reading!
    • jo jo
      today im listening to the stone roses i dont know if they made it over the other side of the pond but they had such an awesome sound political but real life aswell well worth a listen
    • Jani
      I read this at another site.  Good news! 
    • Jani
    • Amy LeBlanc
      Forgot to add.  if anyone is interested.  I have started a YouTube channel to help me out on documenting myself in transition.  I may not look as pretty as all the other YouTubers, but I have something they dont and that is real life at the beginning stages.   https://www.youtube.com/feed/subscriptions/UCcCj9U8yd6MB0Rq3quqV0mw   Hope everyone likes   Amy
    • Jani
      Hello Cloee and welcome.  I'm happy to read you're talking with a therapist.  I think once you realize what is possible and that you can live happily you will be fine.  Read the stories of others, you'll see we are all similar.   Please join in the conversation.    Jani    
    • Amy LeBlanc
      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-real-thing-transgender-film_us_5bef4438e4b07573881e935d?fbclid=IwAR3Z-okBZZgEArHc5biMXnd246Ctzi50O0qzFPtoU6IuL3mWVBS8B1ViBjU   I end of crying every time I watch this.   Lots of Love   Amy
    • Jani
      An interesting visit to say the least! 
    • Jani
      Welcome and thank you for sharing your story.  I'm glad you've joined us.     Jani 
  • Upcoming Events

×