Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

General passing as a Female(MTF)


Lady Ayu

Recommended Posts

Good morning everyone!!(it's morning here XD)

I hope everyone is doing fine ^^

It might seem pretty generic and I;m sure it's been asked a hundred times but: Are there any general tips for passing as a woman in public?? I have yet to leave my house en femme but I have some plans to meet friends coming soon; and I wanna do it as the real me. I feel like if I act as I usually act I will do somewhat well but I could use any pointers my sisters and brothers could offer; I;m still really new to this and reading about it has both emboldened me and frightened me silly. so please, Ladies, Gentlemen any big pointers for me?? Anything would be better than nothing :3

 

~Mayumi~

Link to comment

I can't advise you on what to wear other than don't dress too flamboyantly and draw excessive attention to yourself, just be your natural self. Avoid worrying about what others are seeing or saying, avoid direct eye contact other than with friends, and avoid looking around furtively as that signals anyone who is observing that you are hiding something and feel self conscious . These elements are some of the very basic stuff that makes a big difference when being out in public.

Link to comment

I had advice from a couple of friends to observe what women around my age would wear out in public, as I was in my mid sixties I looked for older women and took keys as what would be appropriate from there. I started in what would be a subtle dressed down manor and went from there ,usually a pair of pants and a top but nothing that would draw attention to me, eventually I was confident enough to wear a skirt in public, my advice would be take small steps until you are comfortable and more importantly confident in your appearance.

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

The stuff above is perfect and dressing to kill will out you faster than a baritone.

Longs sleeves that downplay arms and hands is what I can add.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

All good suggestions here.  Go conservative in clothing selection and makeup.  I find less is more when it come to my face.  A little foundation to smooth things out, a bit of blush and maybe eyebrow pencil to define the line.  Above all have fun. 

 

Jani

 

 

Link to comment
  • Admin

Where will you be going while dressed?  What type of neighborhood will you be in?  Do you know of any safe venue's in the area?  Questions questions questions!!   If there is a support group at an LGBT Center near you, my suggestion would be to go there and let them help you get the answers to going out.  My first time out nearly 2 decades ago was just to a restaurant, but it had a theme of Drag Performers, and it was pretty obvious that most of the people there were Trans or Allies, I had on a white top and a black knee top length wrap-around skirt and a wig about twice the hair volume that I wear now, but since I was with a group, I had my make-up done subtly by the group sponsor, and it was about what I wear today when I wear any.  From your profile picture, I would suggest looking to Laverne Cox or Janet Mock as some role models, out of movie/TV character, both have nice business/cocktail dress styles with some touches of fun to them.  Best tip though, is to be comfortable with yourself while out.  Be you as you know your inner self.  For Rest rooms,. go with a buddy even if there is a single user one there, that is a girl thing.  Have the confidence that for you this is the right thing and nothing to be ashamed of.  Good luck and you will do very well.

Link to comment

 

 

All good points people, thanks for the tips I will keep them in mind as the outing approaches.

 

13 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Where will you be going while dressed?  What type of neighborhood will you be in?  Do you know of any safe venue's in the area?

 

As for the neighborhood, I don't know it very well but my friends do and I trust them, and I can union the 1st and 3rd question by saying we're going to a safe Venue; it's actually a LGBT bar I've been to before just, never en femme. My friends tell me I should just relax but I'm gonna freak out until I get there and take in the atmosphere a bit lol

 

Thanks again for the tips everyone!! Feel free to add to them if you can think of anything else important!! ❤️

 

~Mayumi~

Link to comment
  • Admin
47 minutes ago, Lady Ayu said:

As for the neighborhood, I don't know it very well but my friends do and I trust them, and I can union the 1st and 3rd question by saying we're going to a safe Venue; it's actually a LGBT bar I've been to before just, never en femme.

 

You asked for tips about going out for the first time, and my questions were actually tips on going out.  I am glad you had the answers well ahead of time, and that will help you be out and comfortable which adds so much to being out there.

Link to comment

if in doubt get a taxi to destination and always meet up with friends i agree with makeup less is more too much makeup makes you look like drag queen always dress for occasion dont make yourself centre of attention be confident but not flambouyant wear the right colours for the right seasons

Link to comment
1 hour ago, VickySGV said:

 

You asked for tips about going out for the first time, and my questions were actually tips on going out.  I am glad you had the answers well ahead of time, and that will help you be out and comfortable which adds so much to being out there.

 

I'm sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you Vicky, trust me I wasn't; I just wanted to anwser your questions since you were the only one who was asking questions. I didn't want your responses to feel ignored. You actually gave me some great advice and some role models I'm gonna look up later!! Things get miscommunicated through text x-x

 

~Mayumi~

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

If you can remember how others either trans* or cis female were dressed when you last attended the club that might well help.  Going to a gay bar can be an opportunity to go a bit over the top but even so anywhere where alcohol is being served can be more dangerous.  Please be careful and enjoy yourself.  My early trips to gay bars gave me some early confidence and a great deal of fun.  I had some problems with assault but sidestepped the worst of those incidents.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 91 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Timi
    • KayC
    • MomTGDaughter
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • KymmieL
      Well first day is over and now getting ready for bed soon. Work was OK.   Don't know why but I am feeling down. I am heading to bed. Good Night.   Kymmie
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I our time at my place.Both admit our sex life is good,got intimate for the 2nd time and he is good at it
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  I will look those up in the document, hopefully tomorrow.   I always look at the source on stuff like this, not what someone, particularly those adversarial, have to say. 
    • MaeBe
      LGBTQ rights Project 2025 takes extreme positions against LGBTQ rights, seeking to eliminate federal protections for queer people and pursue research into conversion therapies in order to encourage gender and sexuality conformity. The policy book also lays out plans to criminalize being transgender and prohibit federal programs from supporting queer people through various policies. The project partnered with anti-LGBTQ groups the Family Policy Alliance, the Center for Family and Human Rights, and the Family Research Council. Project 2025 calls for the next secretary of Health and Human Services to “immediately put an end to the department’s foray into woke transgender activism,” which includes removing terms related to gender and sexual identity from “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.” The Trump administration proposed a similar idea in 2018 that would have resulted in trans people losing protections under anti-discrimination laws. [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; The New Republic, 2/8/24] Similarly, the policy book calls for HHS to stop all research related to gender identity unless the purpose is conformity to one's sex assigned at birth. The New Republic explains: “That is, research on gender-nonconforming children and teenagers should be funded by the government, but only for the purpose of studying what will make them conform, such as denying them gender-affirming care and instead trying to change their identities through ‘counseling,’ which is a form of conversion therapy.” [The New Republic, 2/8/24] The policy book’s foreword by Kevin Roberts describes “the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children” as “pornography” that “should be outlawed,” adding, “The people who produce and distribute it should be imprisoned.” Roberts also says that “educators and public librarians who purvey it should be classed as registered sex offenders. And telecommunications and technology firms that facilitate its spread should be shuttered.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Roberts’ foreword states that “allowing parents or physicians to ‘reassign’ the sex of a minor is child abuse and must end.” Echoing ongoing right-wing attacks on trans athletes, Roberts also claims, “Bureaucrats at the Department of Justice force school districts to undermine girls’ sports and parents’ rights to satisfy transgender extremists.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023; TIME magazine, 5/16/22] Dame Magazine reports that Project 2025 plans to use the Department of Justice to crack down on states that “do not charge LGBTQ people and their allies with crimes under the pretense that they are breaking federal and state laws against exposing minors to pornography.” [Dame Magazine, 8/14/23] Project 2025 also calls for the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services to repeat “its 2016 decision that CMS could not issue a National Coverage Determination (NCD) regarding ‘gender reassignment surgery’ for Medicare beneficiaries.” The policy book’s HHS chapter continues: “In doing so, CMS should acknowledge the growing body of evidence that such interventions are dangerous and acknowledge that there is insufficient scientific evidence to support such coverage in state plans.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023] Going further, Project 2025 also demands that the next GOP administration “reverse policies that allow transgender individuals to serve in the military.” The policy book’s chapter on the Defense Department claims: “Gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service, and the use of public monies for transgender surgeries … for servicemembers should be ended.” [Project 2025, Mandate for Leadership, 2023]   …summaries of what’s within the rest of the document re: LGBTQ+ concerns. A person can believe their gender is fixed but incongruent with their physiology, but the authors and Trump (by his own words) just see the incongruity of an “expressed gender” that conflicts with what was/is in a person’s pants.
    • Mmindy
      Good catch… I took care of it.
    • Sally Stone
      I'm tired of the two-party system.  It has degraded to a system where there are only two diametrically opposed views, neither of which supports me.  I have conservative views regarding big government and government spending but I have very liberal views when it comes to protecting the rights of individuals.  And just elections of the past, I am stuck with two choices, neither of which I support. With only two parties, each with agendas that are off the left and right scales, I am not adequately represented.    Finally, I'm okay with party affiliated politicians running for office using their party views, but once elected to office, they are obligated to support the entire electorate not just the electorate members that voted for them.  Plain and simple, our government system is broken and dysfunctional.  I'll step down from my soapbox now.     
    • Sally Stone
      Thanks Mae.  She was an amazing friend and I grew to love her like a sister.
    • Sally Stone
      I did Ashley.  Non-rev travel was one of the major factors for taking the job.  At the time, US Airways had the best non-rev policy in the industry.  It cost $10 to fly coach and $25 to fly first class.  We flew first class whenever there were seats available.  
    • Abigail Genevieve
      You should have a moderator fix what you meant to write as "birth certificate".  Ooops.   I've gone over that verse and am wholly and completely dissatisfied with the SBC exegesis of it, so much so that it was one of the things that helped me break out of a mindset of guit.  Sometime I may strut by stuff as a Hebraist and show what it really means.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found this   — 450 — Mandate for Leadership: The Conservative Promise Goal #1: Protecting Life, Conscience, and Bodily Integrity. The Secretary should pursue a robust agenda to protect the fundamental right to life, protect con- science rights, and uphold bodily integrity rooted in biological realities, not ideology. From the moment of conception, every human being possesses inherent dignity and worth, and our humanity does not depend on our age, stage of development, race, or abilities. The Secretary must ensure that all HHS programs and activities are rooted in a deep respect for innocent human life from day one until natural death: Abortion and euthanasia are not health care. A robust respect for the sacred rights of conscience, both at HHS and among gov- ernments and institutions funded by it, increases choices for patients and program beneficiaries and furthers pluralism and tolerance. The Secretary must protect Americans’ civil rights by ensuring that HHS programs and activities follow the letter and spirit of religious freedom and conscience-protection laws. Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike. The next Secretary must ensure that HHS programs protect children’s minds and bodies and that HHS programs respect parents’ basic right to direct the upbringing, education, and care of their children.   https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_CHAPTER-14.pdf   First, that is not much, if that is all that is of concern.  Secondly, I have seen all sorts of anti-Trump slander, including the Steele dossier and the lawfare he is now undergoing, to be cynical of any criticism against him, and indirectly this document.    He deserves some of what he is getting, but not all.  Thirdly, I bolded one statement of concern.   I don't think gender identity is subjective.  "Radical actors" is name calling, and there is a lot of that going around.  Maybe I am not seeing everything of concern or reading this right, but i would discuss with the author of this document concerning this.
    • Willow
      Good evening   well I finally finished reading my textbook.  Yeah.  But I still have a lot more to go for the class.     My endocrinologist always asks me about lactation.  And yes I have had some very small amounts of leakage but not on any regular basis.  I figure I blocked the discharge Duce when I pierced my nipples with scare tissue.  But who knows.  I also get asked about mammograms.  I e had my first or baseline and this fall I will need to schedule my second.   As someone in the midst of studying the Old Testament, I can say that I haven’t found any mention of pending damnation for being transgender or intersex.  The closest it comes is a verse that says men should not wear women’s clothing.  Now I don’t know each and everyone’s particulars, but I know I meet the medical definition of female gender, and even in Ohio, a State that until recently refused to allow birth certificates to be changed, I meet the criteria.  Therefore I can only conclude I am not a man wearing women’s clothing.  But there is a somewhat different scholarly explanation of that law that it should not be taken as literally as the haters want.  Mostly men should not pretend to be women to ex ape from their enemies. Or tried to hide from God.     willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Well, the left wing has been doing that.    I read a few things while trying to find out what the problem is and liked what I read.  But I am a conservative.    Is there something specific in there that is of concern?  Does it promise somewhere to erase trans folk? That would be problematic.
    • Ivy
      It's a plan to basically completely take over the government by the right wing.
    • Ivy
      I'm actually in Asheville tonight.  Some of the people in the support group invited me for dinner after the meeting.  We're going to get together again tomorrow again. It's been nice, 4 trans women and 1 trans man, together ar a restaurant.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I found https://www.project2025.org/policy/   I will have to read it.  I have not.  What is of concern?   The link provided earlier goes back to this forum.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...