Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

12-Step Programs Versus Alternatives


Guest

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

 I am grateful that AA has worked for me and at this point millions of others.  There may well be other methods that work.  A pill or some time on a couch may work for some.  That seems a lovely, easier way.  

 I do wish this article spent less time critiquing AA and more in the exploration of these other methods.  

 There is a good reason why so many detox centers have meetings and recommend attending AA after discharge. 

  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

I am sorry if I did not read the whole article and I don't really know where in the Big Book or any of the literature that it says AA is the only way to stay sober.

I think the reason a lot of people in AA stay in AA and like it , is that it is fun and their lives are changed in more ways than just being sober.

Like I said. I did not read the whole article because at the beginning it says that AA is a faith based method of staying sober "Its faith-based 12-step program"  which is misleading from the start.

AA worked for me and continues to work for me and as most members would say , if it was just about staying sober they would not still be there or attending meetings. I think they would also say that AA is not for everyone.

AA's own statistics say that as well, since only a very small percentage stay sober but to my mind that says more about the seductive power of alcohol than the ineffectiveness  of the program.

Link to comment
Guest Rachel Gia

I will however agree with the article that AA is completely ineffective in regards to being able to drink 'that one glass of wine with dinner'.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone,

There are a number of programs that claim to successfully treat alcoholism/addiction. Some work better than others over all. Each one may have individuals it works best for.

 

The author here makes a critical misjudgment. She looks at the over all success rate as opposed to the individual success. When at a treatment center, we were told, "If you want recovery bad enough that you are willing to do "whatever it takes", you will recover." This is true regardless of what program you use. If you are hoping that recovery will be administered to you like an antibiotic, you will be disappointed by whichever program you choose. There is no magic anti-addiction pill. There are no magic wands. Long term recovery requires first and foremost a willingness to do whatever you have to do to achieve it, and a desire to recover. "Whatever it takes" will differ from one person to the next. It is up to each individual if they want recovery badly enough that they are willing to do what it takes to achieve it, regardless of which program or method they choose. Recovery is up to the individual, not the program. The program is there to help the individual sufferer to recover, not to do it for them. This is so for every  recovery program. Anyone who promises to give you easy recovery is lying to you. As mentioned above, there are no anti-addiction or anti-alcoholism pills that can recover for you. It is up to you. The programs that are out there are there to help you do it, not do it for you.

 

About this article specifically, it is rather disturbing. The author, rather than spending a lot of time building up her own method, spends the bulk of her time and effort trying to debunk AA. It seems as if she has a personal vendetta against AA. I think this article should be taken with a definite grain of salt. The author stands to gain monetarily from raising doubt about AA. She is selling a book on her recovery method, and she could easily view AA as her biggest competitor. I give a lot more credence to someone who can actually talk about their own program or method rather than try to tear down someone elses instead.

 

The assertion that AA is not an affective program is very inaccurate. Their are so many alcoholics who have achieved years and decades of long term recovery in AA. It is not the only recovery program out their. If another program or method has helped you achieve long term recovery, that's great! You've chosen the best program for you. But don't dismiss a program because someone wants to sell a book.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment
  • Admin
1 hour ago, Timber Wolf said:

The assertion that AA is not an effective program is very inaccurate.

 

The author plays a numbers game here.  It is true that once a Court Card that requires a certain number of AA meetings to keep out of jail  has been filled up, we will not see the person again in the majority of cases.  A few may stay, and a block of those who do not stay, will come back on subsequent cards of that nature.  The number who come in with personal desire though are smaller.  It is the personal commitment to sobriety that matters and even in AA there are those like myself who are not hardliners on the program and who do not follow it "religiously".  In my groups. people know I do not work it ideally, and yet I share the goals and the friendship and above all else the opportunities for sharing the freedom that sobriety brings without criticism.  Some of that sharing takes place outside of AA and in places you would not first think of for people to gain and practice the joy of freedom from chemicals or processes.  A person who goes through a program of any sort thinks they are finished and goes back into a solo life will be back to a program in their future if they do not kill themselves first.  Those who keep the program for the benefit of other people in their lives, and who are with people are doing that program right.  

Link to comment

The part about understanding why you drink made sense to me. 

 

I was in a SMART chatroom the other day and someone there was struggling with self-harm, which she described as her addiction. I self-harmed for 30 odd years but it never occurred to me to think of it as an addiction. It got me thinking of other substances I've successfully quit in the past and the difference between then, where I did it fairly easily and now, where I'm failing dismally. The pertinent differences are things in my life, not the substances. 

 

There are many ways to skin a cat.

 

Rayne

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Regn self harm does certainly have an addictive aspect.  It seems that the knowing why we do something like self harm by inflicting exterior pain or by drinking.  Either can become something that takes over our lives.  When i was drinking i did ponder why i drinking.  Sometimes it was to celebrate some times it was to punish myself or seemingly to punish others.  There always seemed a reason.  If i could fix that i would stop.  Some i know have moved from place to place trying to stop.  Some have gone to doctors and phycologists trying to fix problems that would make it possible to quit.

For me the first step of the AA program says enough.  "I admitted i was powerless over alcohol......" .   For me that, not the reasons why, has been the most important part of finally accepting that i had to use the tools given to me in order to quit.

I will always remain powerless over alcohol(or substances).  Fortunately i have been given a path to sobriety.  I pray i will stay on it and remember how powerless i am.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I've found that the things happening in my life are justifications to use drugs. Things will always happen in life, both good and bad. We can't stop that. But  admitting to myself that I'm powerless over my addiction allowed me to accept that I needed someone else's way, that my way did not work. It also helped me acknowledge that my addiction was a disease of my mind and that using drugs/alcohol (alcohol is a drug, period) is just a symptom of my disease. It doesn't matter which substance I use, because addiction is a disease of the mind. This knowledge gives me something I can treat and recover from. I we had cancer and it was giving us pain, by treating the pain we are treating the symptom, and the cancer remains. But if we treat the cancer, then the problem itself is treated, and we can recover. It's the same with addiction. If we treat the symptom of drug use, the addiction remains. If we treat the justification, another justification will always come along. But if we treat the disease of addiction, we can recover, because we are treating the problem at its source.

 

This  why limited or controlled use doesn't work for very long, or changing the substance we are using is ineffective. Because it's the disease in our mind that is causing us problems, not the drugs themselves. The disease of addiction is what drives us to use drugs, act super impulsively, crave escapes, etc...

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 136 Guests (See full list)

    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Either new environment/ not potty trained
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...