What’s the accepted benchmark, can I just be me in girl mode?

[Jani]

Keira that is an unfortunate system you have to work through. 

 

Jani

[BrandiBri]

The first time I went to my therapist I went as "him". She asked me If I thought about coming as me and I said "I'll give that some thought". The next week I did. I remember that it was exciting, I was a little apprehensive, but it was fun and went great! I had not started presenting full time and so was still worried about what others would think. After that I dressed as myself when I went to see her.

[KeiraC]

4 hours ago, Jani said:

Keira that is an unfortunate system you have to work through. 

 

Jani

 

Thats the system in Ireland in some ways its great with the gender bill in 2015 but a lot of the people who decide are very old school and old fashioned but I learned how to give them what they wanted really quickly,

[Jani]

That's good but we shouldn't have to game the system to get what we need.

 

Jani

[VickySGV]

We are still up against the old stereotypes involving how humans procreate and nurture young humans.   If you will not take part in human procreation then you are crazy or worse, a danger to the children.

 

Anything that changes a binary concept they learned so deeply as children is not computable in their reasoning today.  We on the other hand want ot live our true lives which are not in their binary language. 

[jo jo]

we lucky in wales as counsellor already part of pathway and so is endo i do believe that the endo is going to be taken out of loop and everything sorted out by gp know

[Cyndee]

On 6/12/2018 at 6:21 PM, VickySGV said:

We are still up against the old stereotypes involving how humans procreate and nurture young humans.   If you will not take part in human procreation then you are crazy or worse, a danger to the children.

 

Anything that changes a binary concept they learned so deeply as children is not computable in their reasoning today.  We on the other hand want ot live our true lives which are not in their binary language. 

 

So true above, and with birth rates now hovering around historical lows in this country, the bigots are getting desperate. Let's make it harder for women, let's erase female reproductive choices, keep them in the mother mode, we need more babies to replace our dying bigots....

[KeiraC]

On 6/13/2018 at 1:29 AM, Jani said:

That's good but we shouldn't have to game the system to get what we need.

 

Jani

 

I know but I know a number of years ago I went to my GP and told him how i felt and it was hey you will ruin your life doing that, in time found a new gp but even at that the process is not defined and slow and it like no one knows anything about it, had name changed in about 10 days, had to jump through hoops to get HRT I think in the end I only got it because i said fine would travel to another country to get a script, I guess i wish i started this in my 20s or even 8 years ago but it is what it is, So now I am the good little girl when i go to my doctor or my Endo or even now still seeing therpists, I dress as they precive a 40 yo woman should dress as, even though lets face it most girls are in legging and tops now, But I guess i am somewhat tomboy at the moment and kinda straddle both side, why you might as well when I finish laser it will be easier I lost 13 KG since march and that was on HRT, I feel so much better now as in how I should be, do I want to do girlie girl at the moment not really, But i know in time I will, for now I do what I need to do to get my Hrt

[KeiraC]

Just now, CyndiRae said:

 

So true above, and with birth rates at historical lows in this country, the bigots are getting desperate. Let's make it harder for women, let's keep them in the mother mode, we need more babies to replace our dying bigots....

 

I think its more than that I see teenagers as being so cool and open about Tg Issues, here some tg in schools and totally accepted, But I find that the older people dont understand and guys see it as one is letting down the gender by going to a lesser gender,  I am finding that being self employed I have kepts clients but I am more a hybrid person than a female at the moment,

 

[Cyndee]

4 hours ago, KeiraC said:

 

I think its more than that I see teenagers as being so cool and open about Tg Issues, here some tg in schools and totally accepted, But I find that the older people dont understand and guys see it as one is letting down the gender by going to a lesser gender,  I am finding that being self employed I have kepts clients but I am more a hybrid person than a female at the moment,

 

 

I know I call it the "grey beard" syndrome. So stuck in their ways, so close minded, so bigoted, you can spot them a mile away.

 

Yet the younger folks think "what's the big deal ?", a trans woman so what ?

 

Fertility rates really do need to rise in the eyes of the bigots, let's make it harder for women to get reproductive health care, after all a Woman's place is in the home raising children. There are like groups of men that want to further thinking like this (proud boys). Keep 'em home barefoot and pregnant, we need to raise more potential bigots...

[KeiraC]

Just now, CyndiRae said:

 

I know I call it the "grey beard" syndrome. So stuck in their ways, so close minded, so bigoted, you can spot them a mile away.

 

Yet the younger folks think "what's the big deal ?", a trans woman so what ?

 

Fertility rates really do need to rise in the eyes of the bigots, let's make it harder for women to get reproductive health care, after all a Women's place is in the home raising children. There are like groups of men that want to further thinking like this (proud boys). Keep 'em home barefoot and pregnant, we need to raise more potential bigots...

 

Well here there are two public psychiatrists who deal with GID, and Two Endos,  I read a piece https://www.her.ie/news/call-for-change-to-wait-times-regarding-transgender-medical-support-385042 and she too had this process, She said " Throughout this process, the psychiatrist in question kept pausing to dictate a letter about me in which he referred to me in the 3rd person: "Aoife is overweight", "Aoife is wearing a short skirt and black tights". 

 

I remember my first referral from my psychotherapist who was brilliant and non judgemental  to my GID psychiatrist who basically took one look at me and suggested I was not trans because I was not presenting as one I tried to explain to her I had done my name change, i was having laser and in time when i was more comfortable I would got more femme she was preaching commitment and real life test and that there was no way i could be recommended for HRT unless I was living in the role, which was not really the case.

Bear in mine my hair is long my ears are pierced just that day I was trying to keep my clients happy as well and fit the session in, In heinsight maybe a bad idea going more butch than femme but I corrected it on the next session and there was praise for me HRT Is calming it stoping my body from getting worse keeping the hair i have on my head and moving me into a more femme place though being a tech a pair of jeans and a blouse or shirt works at the moment,  I know as my boobs get bigger and my face rounds then it will be time to maybe ramp up my femme self more, but for me its not dressing femme at the moment its more how I feel and what I want in time if that makes sense though I have less of a issue now present as femme as i am getting used to it.

[jae bear]

@KeiraC I very much feel the same way that you do, I’m just a tomboy like my mother or my sister or my aunt, I however am lucky enough to be in the states where things are a bit different, although I’m still having difficulty getting prescribed estrogen. I’ll be working on my female mode here in just a few short days, the only thing now is just my shoes, cute high tops and some snowboots that I absolutely love putting on every morning. My daily attire will just be jeans, T-shirt  tops and print shirts from the women’s department, I’m growing my hair as furiously as possible but we all know how that goes, I go to electrolysis once a week and spend more than two hours with the electrocutioner and enjoy every minute of it as she and I are just a couple of chatty Cathy’s. I fully expect that when I feel a little more femme, and I don’t have to deal with man stuble, and my face looks a little better,  I will be definitely presenting on the more feminine side of things, but right now I am just sticking my toes in the water so to speak. 

Hugs,

Jackie

[KeiraC]

Just now, jae bear said:

@KeiraC I very much feel the same way that you do, I’m just a tomboy like my mother or my sister or my aunt, I however am lucky enough to be in the states where things are a bit different, although I’m still having difficulty getting prescribed estrogen. I’ll be working on my female mode here in just a few short days, the only thing now is just my shoes, cute high tops and some snowboots that I absolutely love putting on every morning. My daily attire will just be jeans, T-shirt  tops and print shirts from the women’s department, I’m growing my hair as furiously as possible but we all know how that goes, I go to electrolysis once a week and spend more than two hours with the electrocutioner and enjoy every minute of it as she and I are just a couple of chatty Cathy’s. I fully expect that when I feel a little more femme, and I don’t have to deal with man stuble, and my face looks a little better,  I will be definitely presenting on the more feminine side of things, but right now I am just sticking my toes in the water so to speak. 

Hugs,

Jackie

 

Well that was kinda my concept but as i say they have a look in their mind when i explored it with her I got it and in ways she was right as in dress more femme like a woman easier pass her thing was  most people don't zone in on a person face if the rest of the picture is ok,  after that I attended in a skirt, heels blouse jacket first time that way had my hair and make up done in the morning professionally in heinsight should have done it the first day, but i suppose I felt that i was there to talk about what was going on in my brain rather than a fashion show. I did dress on and off growing up but I guess I wanted the package to be right if I were to venture out as Keira which my time line was after some laser and HRT

 

[jae bear]

Yes I understand, I’m still in the process of not being able to quite accept the idea of going out with stuble on my face and wearing a dress, ha ha, then again I don’t think I’m the dress type but I really don’t know as I haven’t explored that side of myself. I’m only just beginning with the girl mode dress up phase, I haven’t had a thing in my closet for 17 years and now all I have is some shoes. As I get the keys to my place on Friday morning I’ll be entering a new world, not just a new apartment.

Hugs,

Jackie

[KeiraC]

29 minutes ago, jae bear said:

Yes I understand, I’m still in the process of not being able to quite accept the idea of going out with stuble on my face and wearing a dress, ha ha, then again I don’t think I’m the dress type but I really don’t know as I haven’t explored that side of myself. I’m only just beginning with the girl mode dress up phase, I haven’t had a thing in my closet for 17 years and now all I have is some shoes. As I get the keys to my place on Friday morning I’ll be entering a new world, not just a new apartment.

Hugs,

Jackie

 

Well I have done the dresses, heels skirts, makeup and everything in between, I know of a lot of GGs who dress butch but in saying that I am not adverse to dressing femme I suppose I am still on the fence I am self employed and do Computer / Technical work, I am afraid a skirt would not cut it in a plant room but I can see my femme clothes taking over in the evening and weekends, I think it takes time well for me anyway a bra is becoming part of life now b cup and was advised i needed support and if for no other reason to hide the bullets, At first I had my doubts about wearing a bra but now its fine, When I was diagnosed with GID and PTSD for that matter I cant say i was surprised I was never a macho guy but it all started to fall into place, when I was younger i used to think hey i wish i were a girl, even growing up i liked my mums bath oils and had a interest in her and my sisters clothes, like every other irish boy of the 1970s i ended up doing irish dancing though had a huge revolution to wearing a kilt but in time this subsided i think it was more "tho protest too much" as time went on i managed to "save" some of my sisters clothes and school uniform,  and while I liked to try them on and wondered what it would be like to be a girl to got to school as a girl I think because I had worn the kilt for dancing and competitions gave me a taste for real life and while it was nice to try her stuff on at home I think I would have lost the plot if I had to wear it everyday.

[jo jo]

everyone is different some people take time so people just do small simple feminization till full transition its all down to a persons circumstances