Hello!

[Salzard]

Hi everyone I’m 14, and I currently identify as agender. I live in the USA, and I would like to transition to more of a masculine body then what I have now, being born a girl my bony is very girlish, wide hips, large chest area... I go to a small school in the middle of nowhere, so everyone knows everyone, and everyone is extremely close-minded. I also have yet to come out as I’m highly afraid, and anxiety dosent help much either. In my area people seem to be against the idea of being trans or not identifying as how you were born, one day my class had a discussion about how they thought it was dumb, and I’m bullied to begin with so I’m worried that if I try to look more masculine during school people might attack me. I’m also worried about how my family will react as my mom is stuck on the idea of gender roles and tries to force me to wear very girly clothes, she also is stuck with the idea of girls having to do everything a certain way, as I am constantly told that I look like a guy and I need to act more like a girl. So I’m afraid to ask for a binder or anything like that. My family is poor, and I have 3 younger sisters. I just really want to know if there’s anything I can do to feel better about myself without having to come out. Especially in the summer heat.

[MaryEllen]

Hello Salzard,

Welcome to TransPulse.   In view of your situation, it might be best if you keep a low profile. It doesn't matter what others think of you. It's how you see yourself that matters. If you see yourself as leaning toward male, that's fine. Just be what you want to be. Boys typically wear jeans or shorts and t-shirts. Especially in the hot summer months. Would that be a problem with your parents? You could opt for a gender neutral hairstyle if your parents didn't object. The hot weather would be a good excuse for having a shorter hair style. As far as binding, that could be dangerous, especially for long periods of time. Perhaps a snug sports bra could flatten you out a bit. Just something to think about. Good luck.

 

MaryEllen

[Jani]

Hello Salzard and welcome.  I concur with Mary Ellen's thought of laying low, at least until you can get to a safe place where you will be accepted for who you are.  This could mean college or moving to a larger town or city.  I think you should be able to pull off wearing somewhat masculine gear without coming under too much scrutiny.  Not all girls are "girly".  That and a shorter hair style that is easier to manage (a good reason!).   I'll also put a word in for not binding as it can be dangerous to you ribcage and lungs.  A sports bra would be best.  

 

Jani

  

[Charlize]

Welcome Salzard.  Unless your folks are really fundamental you should be able to wears pants and a t shirt as suggested above.  Other than that just try to hang in there.  Read and post here.  You will soon see others like yourself who are only being able to express their feelings to a small extent and yet are certainly part of this community.  Perhaps the most important thing i learned here early on was that i wasn't alone.  I was quite(!) a bit older when i was able to be myself openly.  I know both the need and the frustration of holding back but i also found that i lived a good life prior to that freedom.  Try to concentrate on that now.  The more you can succeed at now the better things will go for you throughout life.

Hope to hear more about your feelings and journey.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Salzard,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us!

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[tracy_j]

Hi Salzard,

 

Welcome

 

Tracy