When to use which gender marker?

[Marbabar]

Question for you ladies, who have knowledge or wisdom to share!

 

I live full time as a woman, I’m on hormones, but I haven’t taken any steps to legally change my gender in my documents (nor am I in any hurry to do so, since I haven’t changed my name).

 

When filling out forms and surveys and stuff, though, the dreaded __M __F boxes glare at me and bare their teeth! So the question is, when am I being asked for my legal sex (and i don’t want to be a liar), and when am I being asked for my personal gender?

 

Sure, there are clear extremes, like tax forms versus opinion survey at the grocery store, but I’m bumping up against all sorts of muddly wuddly gray areas, and I feel like I need a firm ethical (and legal) hook to hang my decisions on going forward!

[JBfox]

 Personally, If I don't think the document in directly related to something important. I fill in as female. The same goes for my name. If it doesn't directly need my legal name then I won't use it. This is really only for school, the VA, bills at this point. And even for school I am actually filled as female despite my legal name. So I don't necessarily follow that rule to the T.

 

 I find that most places also just don't care. Like if there's no reason for them to ever look at a driver's license or actively need birth cert/SSN information. I can't see why you couldn't just start putting what you would like down.

-Vaelyn

[Kirsten]

Until the point that your gender marker and name are legally changed it’s better that you use your “legal” information. At least for things that need legality. Anything else do what you want or just leave it blank. But it doesn’t seem like a terribly difficult process to change at least here in Massachusetts. So if it’s a bother I’d start the legwork to change it.

[Cyndee]

Hi,

 

I'd say it's really a personal decision as to when you change your legal status / name. If you already live full time in the role, I would imagine you would want to have your name / gender marker on government ID(s) to match who you are everywhere, and not have to worry about the "gray areas" as you call them.

 

Simplify your life !

 

For myself, I did this a bit over 5 years ago, and so glad I did, it's a change that pays you back over and over...

 

Best to you

 

C -

[Willow]

I’ve noticed a lot of things are starting to have three choices m, f and other. I’ve used other when it wasn’t a legal or travel document where. They check such things.

 Willow 

[Michelle F]

On July 13 I legally become Michelle. That is accord to California, Riverside County District Court. I've been fulltime female now 4 months. All my doctors refer to me by my desired pronoun. I'm starting to show cleavage. No definable waistline yet but getting there.

 

I haven't pushed for pronouns because of ID issue. When I can show F on DL then... Less than two... 

 

I am Soooo excited!!! ?

[Charlize]

Any of us who go full time have probably experienced the awkward time "between".  I remember some very scary times providing ID especially while doing business in the rural south.  As far as forms i usually checked M and felt a twang of pain doing so.  

As Cyndi mentioned if you are going to go full time ID changes are important.  It is fun to be asked by a nurse when my last period was and if i'm pregnant.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

 

[Jani]

Getting the gender designation on my license updated was a liberating occasion as it took away that fear of having to explain myself in an awkward situation.   If that is possible to do alone, without name change it might work for you.  I didn't change my name.  

 

Jani 

[Michelle F]

I love having my Driver's License AND having my Social Security Card is wonderful!

 

It's making insurance a breeze