Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Coming Out at School Concerns


Uncouthguru22

Recommended Posts

pt. 1) I'm currently thinking about coming out online to a select group of people my own age that I know will (at least for the most part) be safe and accepted around. Does anyone have any tips or ideas for writing a coming out post?

 

(this next part is a bit long so feel free to just stop reading here if you would like)

 

pt. 2) I am not out to my family, (I fear the withdrawal of resources and being put into a dangerous and toxic situation) yet I am hoping to come out to my high school this fall as my senior year begins... I'm hoping in coming out to this group of people before school starts will give me a kind of buffer zone for any other students at school. What I am most worried about is being outed to my family, especially after the start of the school year by one particular teacher who is in close contact with my aunt and her family.

I

f anyone could give any information or tips regarding coming out to my school, dealing with the school year, that teacher, and all of the overly conservative, hick, bigoted students that also attend my school, that would be great! 1f642.png:)

Link to comment

Just a concern that if you come out at school it may get back to your parents. It might not even be the administration or that teacher, but a fellow student telling their parent or being overheard by that teacher and then them telling your parents. It is a possibility, and if it is not safe for you to come out at home then you might want to wait until you get out of the house.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Trans Pulse.

It has been my experience that once one person knows the truth it grows to two shortly.  I would suggest that the more folks you speak to the more chance there is that it will get back to your parents before school starts.  I would also guess that if you come out at school it will get back quickly to your parents.  If you think they will react negatively you might want to wait a bit.

Speaking to a school counselor or better yet a gender therapist can help immensely. 

 

Sorry to be such a negative person but once your out it changes how others react.  Taking time, reflecting and being careful can help us be ourselves without hurting others or ourselves.

We are here to help as we can.

You m,ightr want to post in the introduction forum as well.  More folks will get to know you that way.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Guru.  Welcome.  I have to agree with my friends that if your parents will be disapproving to the point of withdrawing resources I would defer getting this news out until you are on your own.  Some parents react badly and have been known to kick children out of the house.  I can't understand this tactic but that's how some think.  

 

If you go away to college next year this would be the best time to express your individuality as this is a time to discover who we are in an environment of growth.  

 

Jani

Link to comment

I agree with what's been said so far. Coming out at school is likely to trigger someone telling your parents. It sounds like you are in a situation where it may be a good idea to proceed slowly and think very carefully about this decision. I understand wanting to experience your last year of high school as yourself, but the most important thing right now is to protect yourself. I suggest you try to build some allies around you before you make the decision to come out to the whole school. Trying to do that with this group of friends sounds wise, but I also think you need to find some adult allies. School may become dangerous as more people find out and you need some adults in the school looking out for you. Does your school have a counselor or social worker? The people in these positions usually go back to school at least two weeks before the rest of the school so you can have a conversation with them BEFORE school starts to test the waters. Be sure and tell them before talking that you want the conversation to be confidential. It's also good to keep in mind that all teachers and counselors are mandatory reporters, meaning that if you report any kind of abuse at home, they are required to report it to Child Protective Services (not saying there is abuse, but it's good to know because that type of reporting can trigger a cascade of consequences). The counselor should be able to tell you who the other adult allies in the school are and help you weigh the risk of coming out.

 

Another idea is to find your local LGBTQ center and go to some programming for teens this summer. The other kids can help you get a sense of what it will be like to come out at school so you know what you are getting into. And the adult counselors can help you develop a coming out plan. Whether you ultimately decide to come out at your school or not, you can still enjoy the senior year stuff like dances with other LGBTQ teenagers through the center. A lot of cities even have alternative proms that honestly look a lot more fun than my senior prom was.

 

It sounds like you know that coming out is going to be difficult. Unfortunately, without your parents' support, you will have to be your own advocate and it's really important to know your rights before you do. Missouri is one of many states that do not have anti-bullying laws or anti-discrimination laws in place to protect LGBT students. However there are federal law protections in place. These are your rights: https://transequality.org/know-your-rights/schools

 

Research shows that adolescents who are out are usually happier, but many are in positions like yours where they are "managing" their identity, meaning some people know and others don't. This can add a whole new level of stress. It's really important that you find a responsible and helpful adult that can help you deal with these day-to-day life issues.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 106 Guests (See full list)

    • Maddee
    • Thea
    • Ivy
    • Charlize
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      It's kinda weird how these people are so worked up over making these laws.  They would have no effect on cis people either way.  Yet they are the ones with the obsession.  They ought to just stay out of trans people's business.
    • Maddee
      ❤️   He deserved truth.    I told him.     🌈🌈    
    • Ivy
      Bean burritos are still popular in my family.   Black eyed peas are the one legume I'm not fond of.  I need to add lots of onions. And of course always cook your pintoes with fat-meat.  And for y'all yankees, navy beans with a big ol' ham bone are hard to beat.
    • Betty K
      Seek out community, not just online but in person if possible. Making trans friends is a pretty quick and easy way to gauge if you have much in common with them.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Glad to be home and did go out for a walk this morning.Good thing is that went good.Still taking it easy
    • Charlize
      It certainly could be classed as dark humor.  Unfortunately the sentiments alone must hurt young trans folks.  Decency and reality doesn't seem to be in the GOP's vocabulary.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Mmindy
      Good morning all,    It’s a frosty morning here the lawn looks silvery, and the uncovered spring flowers have icy edges on their leaves. The only flower bed I covered was my tulips. As nice as it is here during the day, our clear wind free nights allow the temperatures to drop into the mid twenties. Here in our growing zone it’s recommended that you not plant delicate plants until Mother’s Day. Central Indiana can have snow as late as the third week of May. The birds are active at the feeders, I’ve had my cup of yoghurt and morning meds. So I’ll sit here, drink coffee and watch the as the sunrise chases the frost from the yard.    @awkward-yet-sweet I could eat black eyed peas as a side for every meal. Boil them plain or with fatback. Served as a leftover, just add in a little Rotel Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies.  Make the best of your day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mirrabooka
      I hope y'all look at this one. A catchy tune released at the end of Covid lockdown. Scarlett is so cute!!!     
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      Had a weird dream last night.
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning, y'all. Evening here; we had the regulation three mugs full today. Now it's time to drink something else.     No big plans here either, eldest daughter and granddaughter will be arriving on Saturday, and we will have our granddaughter to ourselves for a week after that. We still have plans though. Tuesday we'll go to the swim center, Wednesday we'll take a road trip to visit my mom, Thursday we'll get some mulch delivered to top up the gardens.   I still make other small plans on a daily basis though. The things I do plan nowadays, which is a bit new for me, is that after pinching a nerve and ending up in a bit of pain and getting some treatment from the physio, I am more motivated than ever to exercise more regularly. Tuesday for example, I went for a short (15 minute) early morning walk, went to the pool for some hydrotherapy, and mowed the lawns. Yesterday I did my exercise reps and spent some time on the exercise bike. Today, I went for a 45-minute walk, tomorrow I will do my reps again and go for a long bike ride. As long as I do at least one thing every day, right? The pleasing thing is that I'm losing weight! I blew out to above 95kg early in the year and I'm just under 91kg now. Yay me!
    • Heather Shay
      What one piece of advice would you give to beginning transitioners or considering transition?
    • Heather Shay
      Positive side of the mixed bag.
    • Heather Shay
      Boredom is an emotional state that comes when a person has nothing to do, and is not interested in anything. To stop boredom, most people do something to occupy or amuse themselves. The first known use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, but the saying to be a bore had been used to mean "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768. When referring to the mind, boredom is a bad state in which the person feels a deep lack of interest in what is going on around them, and where it is hard to focus.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...