First clothes shopping experience

[Avra]

@Adaline Oh yeah, shortcuts are always nice. Even if its a bit longer. ?

[Julie J]

I'm heading to Hamilton, Ontario today for electrolysis but I will have plenty of time to go shopping before or after. I want to find a nice sundress for a pool party on the 11th. I already have my bathing suit. That was a really fun shopping experience! 

Cheers, 

Julie J 

[Adaline]

Big city shopping is always the best.  Send a picture of the dress, I would love to see it.

 

Have fun?

[Julie J]

It turns out that I didn't go shopping after electrolysis. I have an appointment at the trans clinic on Thursday morning and I am going to out all day as Julie. I'll do some shopping then. Wish me luck with finding something nice! Now I can shine as Julie. It's been a few weeks since I've been out shopping so I'm looking forward to it. I'll be in Woodstock & Brantford (Ontario) on Thursday afternoon and early evening. It's great having the comfort level and confidence to go out and about as myself. 

Hugs & Smiles, 

Julie J 

[Adaline]

The exspectation of a shopping excursion can’t make a rainy day feel like sunshine.  Good luck, I’m expected you to tell me all the details.

 

hugs

Adaline.

[Adaline]

Oops that was “can” make a rainy day feel like sunshine ☀️.  It’s raining buckets here so the need to live vicariously through someone else is very strong.  Tag your it?

 

have a super fun time.

Adaline

[Julie J]

Thanks Adaline ?

I hope it's not too late in the season to get a sundress... I may have to go look in quite a few stores! Oh my! LOL 

Just wish I didn't always have to be a lone she-wolf on these shopping trips... it's so much fun to get a second opinion from someone who isn't possibly just trying to make a sale! 

I'll keep you posted ?

Julie J 

[Martyn]

Following many frustrated visits browsing the displays of women’s wear in all the high street stores I still felt uncomfortable picking items up and wanted to feel more relaxed about the experience. One of the larger department stores offer a personal shopper experience, it was the best thing I’ve done, I explained my situation to the person serving me, she was very understanding and brought me loads of things to try on based on the brief I gave her, was such fun and felt so relaxed. There was a dressing room set aside for this purpose, I bought only a few items but felt very pleased and satisfied with the whole experience. I’ll be going back again in the autunm once the seasonal clothes are all in, can’t wait for the next time now :0)

[Julie J]

Adaline, I was finally able to get my sundress. It's really colourful. Then I found another deal... so I ended up getting 2. I took both with me when I went for electrolysis last Thursday (in male mode - yuck) then went over to one of the transwoman friends I made through my trans support network. I shaved then we played around with me trying different outfits (I brought a whole bunch of clothes with me so Samantha could critique my colours and styles) and settled on one of my new dresses as the best choice for a BBQ party that weekend. 

Then I changed into blue jean capris and another nice new top. Samantha gave me a makeover and styled my hair then we went shopping and out to dinner. I loved the whole experience. After dinner I bid farewell to my friend then drove to a women's only AA meeting. I think it's the 5th time I've attended that meeting. I was treated warmly, and welcomed with hugs by the other ladies there. It was a good meeting and a great day. I was so happy I didn't have to spend the day on my own. It really is so much fun to spend time with someone else who knows and understands what I'm going through. Plus the makeover was amazing... I learned a few things I didn't know (I don't know a lot) about using proper makeup techniques. I think I've rambled on long enough. Bye for now. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

[Jani]

Martyn and Julie, what fun experiences!  I'm glad you got out and had fun.

 

Jani

[Julie J]

Tomorrow I will be having another wonderful day out and about as Julie... I really can't get enough of them! I can't wait till I can be Julie full time! To think I was so frigging terrified of starting this new phase of my life just over a year ago! In October I will be going to Provincetown for Fantasia Fair... I'll be travelling en femme, crossing the border en femme, living 24/7 as the woman I am for 10, or possibly 11 days in a row! I'm certain I will be shopping too! LOL

I'm so happy!!!!

Hugs & Smiles

Julie J

[Jani]

I went on a short vacation with my spouse, sister and brother in law to Montreal just prior to getting my passport updated with the correct gender marker.  I was full time and there was no problem at all on either side.  

 

Jani

[Julie J]

Thanks for that Jani... I have been border crossing 4 times now with my male passport while in femme mode... no problems and no issues so far. I seem to be one of those fortunate transwomen who became calm, relaxed, confident and comfortable being in femme mode in a very short time. My personal success is the example I have witnessed in the way my other trans friends are so comfortable and confident. Plus some unbelievable fear facing, nerve wracking, and terrifying (in my mind) experiences early on as I went out into the world solo, without any support... but I was determined... and with my support network in place I am sooooo happy! 

One of the best advice I got from another transwoman in my suppot network is the caution that it doesn't matter if I "pass" or not, as long as I blend in. I dress appropriately, behave appropriately and try to be just another woman in the crowd. I seem to have acceptance wherever I am, including crossing the border... so far...

Hugs & Smiles

Julie J

[Jani]

Great.  Owning the moment is important in getting comfortable with being out and about.  I don't worry about others any more. 

 

Jani

[Adaline]

Julie,

 

Sorry for the delay.  OMG it sounds like you had the best time ever.  You can never have enough clothes, an extra dress will never go to waste and is just the right thing on those nothing to wear days.  I am sooo jealous.  To have a friend that can help you with hair and makeup is just to die for.  My style is so different from the other girls in my group.  One is such a tomboy, another is kind of a mix between goth and the matrix, looks great on her but would make me look like a reject from a mad max movie.  I’m such a girly girl.  I love dresses, makeup and heels.  If I’m going to wear pants they need to be cute, capris are just the thing.  I could really use a friend that understands my style and can give me some tips.  Who am I kidding, I really need a full time consultant.  My wife has no problem telling me when something looks bad but isn’t much help in putting an outfit together.  

 

Someday boy mode will be a thing of the past, then look out everyone, Adaline is here to stay.  Just have to wait for the right time.  Meanwhile I’ll live vicariously through girls like you.  

 

Keep me up dated.  I want to here all about your trip. 

 

Hugs

Adaline

[Julie J]

Hi Adaline,

I didn't get a chance to go out shopping on Thursday. It was pouring rain and I just didn't want to drive for 3 hours in the rain. I had an interesting day anyway, so all is good. 

Hope you are enjoying your journey. It's good to keep your eye on the prize, but we have to enjoy the journey getting there! 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

[Avra]

1 hour ago, Adaline said:

Julie,

 

Sorry for the delay.  OMG it sounds like you had the best time ever.  You can never have enough clothes, an extra dress will never go to waste and is just the right thing on those nothing to wear days.  I am sooo jealous.  To have a friend that can help you with hair and makeup is just to die for.  My style is so different from the other girls in my group.  One is such a tomboy, another is kind of a mix between goth and the matrix, looks great on her but would make me look like a reject from a mad max movie.  I’m such a girly girl.  I love dresses, makeup and heels.  If I’m going to wear pants they need to be cute, capris are just the thing.  I could really use a friend that understands my style and can give me some tips.  Who am I kidding, I really need a full time consultant.  My wife has no problem telling me when something looks bad but isn’t much help in putting an outfit together.  

 

Someday boy mode will be a thing of the past, then look out everyone, Adaline is here to stay.  Just have to wait for the right time.  Meanwhile I’ll live vicariously through girls like you.  

 

Keep me up dated.  I want to here all about your trip. 

 

Hugs

Adaline

I'm so jealous of how sure of yourself you are. I still have so many doubts, fears and question... ?

[Julie J]

Avra, don't let fear overwhelm you. By facing my fears I have been able to get over myself. I have gained confidence by living, on a temporary (usually only for a day) basis as Julie. I always longed to be female, my true inner gender, and by being Julie I am able to experience my life as a woman. I don't want to be treated as anyone other than who I present myself as - an ordinary woman, doing ordinary things, in an ordinary way... like sitting at a roadside coffee shop patio drinking coffee and visiting a friend, with the sun shining and a cooling breeze wafting through the lightly treed area... and my friend looking at me and smiling, then commenting on how relaxed and happy I am being out in public as Julie. I am am on a journey and I am trying to be positive as I proceed, and I am trying to enjoy the journey... this is not a trial run, it's my one shot to a happy, fulfilling life! I love it! 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

[jae bear]

 Oh my gosh I can’t believe you girls are having so much fun without me !  Ha ha Ha !  I like running around target looking for decent T-shirts, and lately I’m eyeballing a lot of nice tops, but I live in my mom jeans, and so far that’s what I’m most comfortable in. I really would love to find a few more colorful high tops, right now I just have my cute little purple ones, and some universal unisex Brown hightops that I use for everything from working out to roaming around the warehouse at work. I find the most difficult part of this shopping experience is that while I wear a 1X in most tops, sometimes they are formfitting or stretchy and I need a 2X, if I wash them sometimes they shrink and I need a 3X!  It really bums me out that I bought this really cute purple top in 2X,  it’s actually one of the Lee Rider series that goes with their mom jeans that I love, and it’s a rather violet color that is adorable, except the darn thing doesn’t fit, it’s way way way too big !  I’m super bummed out but I think I’m going to donate it to a friend of mine, she’s gonna love it !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

[Adaline]

6 hours ago, Avra said:

I'm so jealous of how sure of yourself 

Avra, 

It takes time to find yourself and to see whatis right for you.  There’s really not just one way to be trans and you need to go at a pace that’s comfortable for you.  That comes with questioning what it is you need and seeking out those that can help.  If you have not done so already a gender therapist is a good place to start.

 

in my case, I’m extremely part time not because I’m still questioning where I fit in, but because my wife needs the time to find out how we fit together.   She asks that I limit girl mode in public not because I won’t pass but because I could be recognized.  I honor her wishes because I love her and need her in my life but I still look forward to the day when boy mode is a thing of the past.  It may take awhile but I’ll get there one day.  

 

Like Jackie, clothes shopping can be a challenge.  I’m tall and overweight, not obese but definitely a plus size.  I learned a long time ago that the only way to find out if it fits is to try it on.  I’m usually in boy mode while shopping, again to respect my wife’s feelings, but when I’m looking at clothes, it’s pretty obvious that I’m shopping for myself.  Dressing room attendants can be nerve racking but there are lots of stores without them.

 

if you want to start experimenting with clothes pick out something that won’t be ready identified as female and see how it feels.  Most people will never notice that the buttons close the opposite way, besides, I think it’s good for the brain figuring out how to get those backwards buttons to close.  My wife has no problem letting me dress in complete female attire as long as it is not easy to identify as such.  My problem is that I want it to scream girl.

 

In any event, just go at the pace that’s comfortable for you. Don’t feel pressured to move faster or in a direction you are not comfortable with.  Remember, girls come in all shapes and dress in many different styles.  

 

Hugs 

Adaline

[jo jo]

if your not sure dressing gender neutral till you become more comfortable with yourself people watch look at what most women wear for day wear  i wear female skinny jeans and a plain feminine cut t shirt

[Avra]

@Julie J @Adaline Thanks! You're right, I try to see life as an adventure to myself. I'm glad to have finally taken the steps to speak with a therapist. But this is all so new to me (not the feelings but the taking action). I've never been brave enough to do anything or say anything to anyone. Your support means a lot.

[Avra]

6 hours ago, jo jo said:

if your not sure dressing gender neutral till you become more comfortable with yourself people watch look at what most women wear for day wear  i wear female skinny jeans and a plain feminine cut t shirt

Thing is I don't really like jeans. I don't think I could wear skinny jeans just because of how uncomfortable they'd be. I don't even really like men's jeans but I wear them in public because I'm not out yet. I am looking at some t-shirts though. Will see how that goes

[Adaline]

Avra

 

Every journey starts with small steps.  Good for you, you are on your way.  Where that journey takes you is up to you but you are not alone.  There are so many in the trans community willing to take your hand and be there to guild you through the rough spots, I have seen this first hand.  They do so with their experiences, insights and sometimes just a compassionate shoulder to cry on. Just take your time and progress at your own pace.  

 

I agree with you, I hate jeans and only wear them when I have too.  There are other options such as slacks, look around you may find something gender neutral you like and is not girly.  One of the great things about women’s clothing is there are endless options, this is why shopping is so fun, find your style.   

 

Hugs 

Adaline

[jae bear]

Just now, Avra said:

I am looking at some t-shirts though. Will see how that goes

 This worked pretty good for me I like T-shirts, I found that I like the V-neck best because the scoop neck’s seem to be uncomfortably big for me...  I also recently decided I really love three-quarter sleeve length,  but is a bit tough to find shirts with that sleeve type, they are often stretchy material and I need to order them a size bigger than normal. 

 Hugs, 

Jackie