Passing hmm over rated.

[Kali-Ann Gills]

Hi all.

Ok so I hear a lot of "I wish I passed" stuff.

Women are every shape and size imaginable, short or tall, slender or over weight small busted or large the list is endless. Some are classed as beautiful some not so much.

I believe that we have to get away from the atypical image of society ergo if you are not size zero with boobs like an ironing board and an inside leg of 60" you're somehow abnormal. 

Passing is a transgender obsession. Pass as what? For me I am a woman, I may not be beautiful but I am a woman nonetheless. Passing is what pantomime dames do. Indeed in my eyes the term 'passing ' suggests a parody.

So as a transgender woman you hate your legs, boobs, feet or backside. CIS women are the same. Voice! Some of the most erotically desirable women have deep husky voices. It's not about pitch but infliction phrases and words used. 

Ok, it's the whole package, hair attitude and above all CONFIDENCE. walk anywhere looking awkward or self conscious and we will stick out like a sore thumb!

Dress to your age, if you are 57 like me then short skirts and skimpy tops ain't doing any favours. Stare magnet; and above all be comfortable in what you are wearing. Wear heels that you can actually walk in. 

I have seen too many transgender girls hobbling in five inch heels. 

In short, dress for you, if you are happy with your look then go for it confidence in how you are dressed reflects your personality.

Remember that you are an individual woman all women are different rack it and move in your own way. No woman walks like they do on a catwalk.

We are not passing a test, we are simply being who we are . Celebrate your femininity hold your head high,.

It's not so much learning to be a girl, it's forgetting the brainwashing that we have had to be male.

Next time you are out watch those less than 'perfect' women are they scared? No they are not, with all their flaws, over weight, unwanted facial hair, big feet etc etc.

I came to the conclusion I was aiming for the unobtainable, that gorgeous creature in the magazines,  flawless and stunning. Ok I have been heavily Damaged by testosterone yes, but I am a woman and nobody will tell me otherwise. I walk proud of being an everyday woman not a concept created by men. An airbrushed ideal.

At the end of the day men may want them however, they are happy with women like you and me, real women. And believe me a transgender woman is a real woman. In some ways more so because we have to fight for who and what we are! A girlfriend did say to me " I always thought that being a woman was so easy however, you fight everyday for what I take for granted"

" fear is the destroyer of hope and reason, remove the fear and you can achieve anything".

Passing is the enemy of reason and hope, just be who you are.

 

Kali-Ann ? ? ? xx

 

[MarcieMarie12]

That was something I realized early on, I was not a size 2 but a 16 (sometimes 14 sometimes 18, but ithat is another topic), I was not a 20 something, I was not short and not slight of build. My face was kind of in the middle between masculine features and feminine ones.  I was not going to be a model in fashion magazine. But how many girls are there that are?

 

Answer--very few. Women can be over 6'. They will get stared at for being that tall though. They are not all the same shape, facial features, or body type. Some have deep voices. Passing or the more PC term blending is mostly about your own confidence.

[Jani]

Thanks Kali-Ann for a thoughtful post.  I've said it before, passing is not what you want.  Strive to blend in, by dressing and acting appropriately.    

 

That our insecurities and motivations are similar to cis-women is not a fluke.  I totally agree that without confidence, we have nothing.

 

2 hours ago, Kali-Ann Gills said:

I walk proud of being an everyday woman not a concept created by men.

Be the woman you create.

 

Jani

[Lexi]

Kali-Ann you rock! This post is exceptionally worded and ridiculously validating! Thank you!!! xoxo 

[Carolyn Marie]

Outstanding advice all the way around.  As you mentioned, and I always say, confidence is key.  if you act like you belong wherever it is you are, then no one is likely to care what you look like.  Act nervous, scared, or stare at people you think are staring at you, and you're not going to be well received.

 

So what if people stare?  It's happened to me.  I just don't give a rats pittooty, and won't unless someone gets in my face, and that has never happened.  Not even once.

 

Act like you own the place, and chances are, you'll be fine.  Thanks very much for your post, Kali-Ann.

 

Carolyn Marie

[Kali-Ann Gills]

7 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

Outstanding advice all the way around.  As you mentioned, and I always say, confidence is key.  if you act like you belong wherever it is you are, then no one is likely to care what you look like.  Act nervous, scared, or stare at people you think are staring at you, and you're not going to be well received.

 

So what if people stare?  It's happened to me.  I just don't give a rats pittooty, and won't unless someone gets in my face, and that has never happened.  Not even once.

 

Act like you own the place, and chances are, you'll be fine.  Thanks very much for your post, Kali-Ann.

 

Carolyn Marie

Absolutely correct and let's dispel one of the main reasons for our paranoia, being looked at. If a woman looks at you then she is more than likely to be simply checking out what you are wearing  (unless said woman is a lesbian) secondly a man looks at you well girls he is checking you out we all know that is what men do. And if you have great legs, boobs or anything else great then IT WILL HAPPEN! 

As women we are always being checked out whether you know it or not unfortunately this is one of the more unsavoury aspects of being a woman and men have very different drivers than women do.

My mother understood this very well. And she totally put things into context "women dress for other women not men" I asked why she explained " men will look at a woman regardless of what she is wearing, if a woman looks at you for longer than normal then she is appreciating what you are wearing and your style".

So the truth is this GET USED TO IT because if you hope to float down the street anonymously then that is not going to happen.

I actually quite enjoy it. ??Kali-Ann x

[Kali-Ann Gills]

9 hours ago, Jani said:

Thanks Kali-Ann for a thoughtful post.  I've said it before, passing is not what you want.  Strive to blend in, by dressing and acting appropriately.    

 

That our insecurities and motivations are similar to cis-women is not a fluke.  I totally agree that without confidence, we have nothing.

 

Be the woman you create.

 

Jani

Oh yes Jani ALL women create themselves from a very early age. ??

[Kali-Ann Gills]

9 hours ago, Lexi said:

Kali-Ann you rock! This post is exceptionally worded and ridiculously validating! Thank you!!! xoxo 

Thanks Lexi. It is just experience really and observation. Validation is a myth hunni and in my eyes that is where a lot of transgender people fall, constantly striving for the impossible. Lexi the only person who you should seek approval from is you never seek it from others. The simple point is this;  from the moment we take our first breath as a human being THAT makes us valid!! Regardless of Gender or otherwise never forget this; gender is between the ears not the legs. 

The human brain is the omnipotent driver of the person NOT what you have between your legs. Ergo if your brain tells you that you are a woman then you are. Unfortunately in our case what happens below isn't.

Lexi we are not changing into anything like some kind of Scifi morphing shape changer no; all we are doing is rectifying what is basically a birth defect. 

We are NOT mentally ill, we are a victim of a biological trigger that simply didn't fire correctly

UCLA did some very pioneering research a few years ago. They disected the brains of six gay men six hetro men six CIS women six lesbian women and six transgender women. The results were astonishing.  Gay and hetro male brains identical lesbian and CIS women's brains identical however, when the same comparison was made between transgender women's brains they were shocked to see that our brains are not male in configuration no, our brains are wired exactly the same as a CIS woman's. There are certain areas that are different between women and men. The conclusion was transgender women are women. This research is why the WHO have removed transgenderism out of psychology and into biological.

Science is discovering more and more about what happens during the 12th week of gestation. All feotuses start of as female phycological processes are identical at this point. A gender trigger is pulled THIS determines gender at birth. Lexi children up until four or five are indistinguishable  (interestingly this is the age where most transgender people realise something is amiss) our trigger fires blanks. This is why we feel different

No real man would ever consider removing their genitala growing breasts etc. Our physical Dysphoria is BECAUSE our brains expect breasts, and subconsciously babies when this does not happen we deteriorate.

So YOU ARE A WOMAN.

????Kali-Ann xxx 

[Lexi]

Literal tears! Ik we shouldn't need validation but it is nice to be acknowledged for the gender you are, and to have others see what you see. 

 

I'll treasure this topic and revisit it often! Ty sooo much Kali-Ann, you rock! Xoxo

[BrandiBri]

Kali-Ann, you are one very wise woman! Everything that you have said is sooo true. 

5 hours ago, Kali-Ann Gills said:

"women dress for other women not men"

I realized many years ago that when I looked at women, I was checking out what they were wearing, not the woman herself. That and wishing I could have the shape too, lol!

[VickySGV]

I have been told by more than one person that "I know you are Trans, but it does not seem to be a problem for you, so why should it be one for me?"  I hadn't specifically said I was Trans to them either!!  I made a post about some Trans kids here a couple of days ago and they are just ordinary children in their minds, and I am just another old lady to them. 

 

I have been trying for years to say this @Kali-Ann Gills maybe at last they will listen to someone new!! 

[Kirsten]

Is wanting to be attractive really such a bad thing though? I want to be attractive. I don’t even care if I look like a cis woman, because I’m not, but I do want to be attractive. I don’t want to blend in either. I want people to see me. I want people to say wow that person is beautiful. That’s my dream. If I am mistaken as a cis woman than so be it. If not we’ll thats fine too. 

But I refuse to put myself through all of this emotional and physical stress for the purpose of simply passing. I don’t want to spend 100k on looking like everyone else. Lol. Why would anyone want to do that?! With the right makeup wig clothes and shape wear almost anyone can pass. That’s easy. As you said women are all shapes and sizes. There’s a difference between passing and being attractive. And I think people use passing when they mean attractive. And I think everyone should do whatever they need to do to feel attractive. Please let go of societies definition of attractive though. That’s not helpful to anyone. Cis or otherwise. Be yourself and be happy with yourself. That’s all that really matters. 

Kirsten

[VickySGV]

6 minutes ago, Kirsten said:

Please let go of societies definition of attractive though.

 

I don't scare cats, rats or small children.  Is that good enough?

[Kirsten]

Just now, VickySGV said:

 

I don't scare cats, rats or small children.  Is that good enough?

I scare small children daily! It’s lots of fun too. And just last night I scared a mouse out of my kids disgustingly dirty room. ???

And if you’re happy it sure is good enough. Being accepting of others and being happy with yourself is all that matters. 

[Kali-Ann Gills]

15 hours ago, Kirsten said:

Is wanting to be attractive really such a bad thing though? I want to be attractive. I don’t even care if I look like a cis woman, because I’m not, but I do want to be attractive. I don’t want to blend in either. I want people to see me. I want people to say wow that person is beautiful. That’s my dream. If I am mistaken as a cis woman than so be it. If not we’ll thats fine too. 

But I refuse to put myself through all of this emotional and physical stress for the purpose of simply passing. I don’t want to spend 100k on looking like everyone else. Lol. Why would anyone want to do that?! With the right makeup wig clothes and shape wear almost anyone can pass. That’s easy. As you said women are all shapes and sizes. There’s a difference between passing and being attractive. And I think people use passing when they mean attractive. And I think everyone should do whatever they need to do to feel attractive. Please let go of societies definition of attractive though. That’s not helpful to anyone. Cis or otherwise. Be yourself and be happy with yourself. That’s all that really matters. 

Kirsten

Hi Kristen

I am not suggesting for a moment that wanting to be attractive is a bad thing all women want to be attractive.  However, there are many forms of attractive from the cardboard cutout image that magazines push to the reality of real women. I do spend a lot of time on myself yes, but my reason for posting is this;  who are we trying for? To fit into a small narrow image of what we should be or are we doing it for ourselves? 

What I am saying is why do we as transgender people continually torture ourselves I firmly believe that the concepts of femininity and beauty have been completely taken out of context. My best friend lives her whole life in Dr Martin boots and dungarees is she beautiful; not in the accepted definition that society says no.  Is she a woman yes beyond a doubt. She wears clothing that she wishes to. I have known this woman for almost 50 years she is who she is.

I  like many spent decades striving to be something that I was not. That process caused me no end of pain. To me attempting to 'pass' is precisely the same thing I refuse to once again strive to achieve what I know I cannot be.

We go through enough torment without adding to it because we don't look a certain way. Yes I could spend thousands on surgery however, I prefer to use the money to actually have a life now. I have worked tirelessly over the past three years not to become beautiful but to become as feminine as I can do. I may not stop conversation when I enter a room to be honest I would be disturbed if I did. On the other hand the vast majority of people who I meet basically treat me like any other woman. Not because I am a stunning beauty but because I am very feminine I am confident in my own existence.

All women want to be attractive however, I have been poisoned every day of my life by testosterone; because of that I realised that I had to be realistic. 

If I tried to become the  beauty that society expects with a face so worked on that I could barely smile and a body hacked, chopped and shaped would I be me. I have to say no, I would once again be a parody.

I have begun to like myself again. I have noticed that when I interact with others that fact comes across and because I am very comfortable with me. I don’t want to pass as anything I just want to be me.

???Kali-Ann xx

 

[Kali-Ann Gills]

17 hours ago, VickySGV said:

I have been told by more than one person that "I know you are Trans, but it does not seem to be a problem for you, so why should it be one for me?"  I hadn't specifically said I was Trans to them either!!  I made a post about some Trans kids here a couple of days ago and they are just ordinary children in their minds, and I am just another old lady to them. 

 

I have been trying for years to say this @Kali-Ann Gills maybe at last they will listen to someone new!! 

Well said Vicky, in my experience many people are not that bothered about whether you are transgender or not it is more about how we interact with people. I am sorry to say this however, if a person who is dressed and is presenting as a woman yet  behaves in a way that is quite obviously male that will always make people uncomfortable and in some cases defensive and hostile. I firmly believe that achieving a good level of femininity is far more important than trying to achieve beauty. I have been told this many times. On my birthday last year I had a bit of a get together at my local pub, and around 12 people turned up four of whom were trans girls . One of my party became a little squiffy and forgot themselves whilst not a problem in itself other customers attitudes towards her changed very rapidly. It was obvious that they were very uncomfortable. Not because she was transgender but because she was behaving in a way that women do not.

One of the customers told me at the bar that they were more than happy to treat her as a woman until that point. 

It is all about perceptions behave like a woman and most people will treat you as a woman it is not about 'passing ' it is far more than that. When I enter a bar, restaurant or any other public spaces as a transgender woman I  need to feel comfortable and confident interacting with others. This goes both ways I believe that sometimes we forget this fact. 

I go to my local for a glass of wine or a coffee at least three times a week when Robert is working and I am shopping. Everyone treats me as a woman talks to me like a woman even though they all know that I am transgender. Because I behave like a woman. Ergo they are comfortable with me. I am adressed as love,  sweetheart and miss and I react accordingly. 

The human brain picks up the most miniscule details of another person physical appearance is one however,  there are many more subtle things. Posture,  mannerisms and movement. If any one looks wrong the alarm bells start ringing. This is not a conscious thing it is subconscious, we all do it. And surprisingly the physical is the least important because we know women are all shapes and sizes.

Work on the basics practice moving sitting even drinking very few women stick their elbow up in the air. 

So after all this what is the conclusion? To make sure that this happens be comfortable with you until then you cannot expect others to be comfortable with you. Stop chasing the impossible year after year of being ravaged by testosterone takes it's toll. 

We are women nonetheless however, concentrate on femininity. Robert asked me out two years ago for this reason. He said " I know you are Trans but you are so feminine.

Don't 'pass' BE the woman eat sleep and live it. Don't act or pretend we are women and at the end of all the words and discussion that is all that matters

???? Kali-Ann xx 

[Adaline]

17 hours ago, Kirsten said:

There’s a difference between passing and being attractive. And I think people use passing when they mean attractive. 

Dear Kirsten,

 

Thank you.  You are a wise woman.  For many reasons I’m only part-time.  One is that I want to be treated as a woman and not a trans woman.  I huge part of this hang up was not being able to pass.  After reading your post I realized that I’m not looking for someone to say you look just like a cis woman, that would actually be hurtful, I’m looking for someone to say your pretty, I love your outfit or where did you get those shoes.  That’s what I notice about women and that’s what other women will notice.

 

I still have a long way to go with my look, I’m over 6’ tall and when I try putting on eyeliner it fall more in the category of self harm rather than fashion but this has given me new hope and determination to keep going.  With luck I will get there.

 

Thank you again.  hugs and best wishes.

[Kirsten]

Just remeber @Adaline we all come in our own shape size demeanor etc... be yourself. Not what anyone wants you to be. Kali-Ann is right on point with the acting feminine being very important. But there’s a lot of ways that women act too. The girls I hang out with throw back beers like the guys. Play softball and cornhole. Sweat swear and party. If I went out with them and acted like a “lady” I’d be laughed at. But going out like myself... well some people like me. Some don’t. Too bad for them.

But it’s got nothing to do with me being trans. It’s just that they dont like me. Lol. I’m a very loud person. Bright exciting friendly and fun. That’s not for everyone. But I’m me. And I love me. Love yourself. Whatever that is. There is one rule in life for me. And that’s be happy. Don’t be afraid to break the mold to do it! 

[Kali-Ann Gills]

21 hours ago, Lexi said:

Literal tears! Ik we shouldn't need validation but it is nice to be acknowledged for the gender you are, and to have others see what you see. 

 

I'll treasure this topic and revisit it often! Ty sooo much Kali-Ann, you rock! Xoxo

Lexi you have basically hit the nail on the head. Validation and acknowledgement are rather different things. When I hear the term 'validated' it conjours up images that we have in some way been given 'permission' to be who we are. There is a line in a song that I am listening to right now "are we human or are we dancers" and again I will not change my mind on this 'passing" sounds like a performance. We ARE NOT performing, not acting. I refuse to beat myself up asking a casting vote on whether I am a woman or not.

Are we saying that the best we can hope for is a kind of grudging acceptance? We are so much more, and deserve so much more. I sometimes feel that it is almost like we expect to be to be singled out and accept it like a type of occupational hazard. 

Ok,  I as much as any woman enjoy being told that I look nice, clothing, hair etc however, those comments do not 'validate me as a woman.??? Kali-Ann xx

[Kali-Ann Gills]

21 hours ago, BrandiBri said:

Kali-Ann, you are one very wise woman! Everything that you have said is sooo true. 

I realized many years ago that when I looked at women, I was checking out what they were wearing, not the woman herself. That and wishing I could have the shape too, lol!

Hi Brandi, 

Spot on generally speaking the female world is a competition men compete with each other to attract the female; it is all about prowess with them. Women compete also but at a far more sublime level, we work to outshine the woman next to us. Again these are subconscious actions. 

Watch women on a dance floor as soon as a good looking man comes into view our body language changes, hip movement more pronounced, bust pushed out even facial expressions alter just a little more demure. Again subconscious conditioning over many thousands of years. A contradiction yes but true. We are both driven by the same basic genetics, a man is driven to produce as many children as possible, another indication of prowess. We on the other hand want the best genes possible for our babies. In this respect we are no different from any other animal.

In other words we need to completely understand these drivers. CIS girls learn this from an early age most if not all transgender girls do not

have this advantage. I am very fortunate because from the age of 11 to 16 I was brought up as a girl. All of my friends were girls and believe me that is a world that boys never see, because they are never allowed to. Have you ever noticed that girls shut up talking when a boy is close? 

Like it or not we are very different. However, transgender women are no different we have the same brain wiring, proven by UCLA. In the treatment of transgender women and men we SHOULD be educated in these subtleties. I am sorry to say this however,  you cannot give a transgender woman boobs and a vagina and a transgender man a penis and wave them off into the sunset and expect her/him to assimilate seamlessly. 

Sorry for going. However, I believe that in order to assimilate we must understand what we are entering.

??? Kali-Ann xx 

[Lexi]

Perhaps it is because I'm still very new to accepting this myself. I still struggle with accepting I am a trans woman, and not a woman. Ik the difference between the two is negligible but it seems like such a huge gap rn. Either way I'm super glad to have found you all. Thank you for existing! Ik there's brighter days to come. Special thanks to you Kali-Ann! Xoxo

[Kali-Ann Gills]

On Thursday, July 26, 2018 at 1:09 AM, Lexi said:

Kali-Ann you rock! This post is exceptionally worded and ridiculously validating! Thank you!!! xoxo 

Lexi 

I am always available to sisters and I am happy to offer advice if I am able to. I was brought up as a girl from the age of 11 to 16 so I feel that I have an insight that some do not. I am more than happy to give you my email address if you would like to talk about things that are bothering you   ???Kali-Ann xx 

[Kali-Ann Gills]

Just now, Lexi said:

Perhaps it is because I'm still very new to accepting this myself. I still struggle with accepting I am a trans woman, and not a woman. Ik the difference between the two is negligible but it seems like such a huge gap rn. Either way I'm super glad to have found you all. Thank you for existing! Ik there's brighter days to come. Special thanks to you Kali-Ann! Xoxo

Lexi, 

There is no difference between CIS women and transgender women apart from the plumbing. I have no concern whether a woman is a cis woman or a transgender woman we are all sisters. But I will always continue to attempt to make transgender women understand that we are REAL women we are not odd not freaks. When I first went to school in a skirt my best friend said " about time you're no more a boy than I am" we were 11. And she is still my best friend to this day. 

Lexi there is nothing to accept, YOU have been suppressed for so long, let her live and believe me she will repay you a thousand times.

Section your brain from the rest of your body, look at it this way use your body to take the woman to where you wish to be a symbiotic relationship. 

The two at this time are two opposed creatures however, each needs the other.

Be calm and concentrate on the good parts of you. I have male bits  (albeit very small) and I have learned to ignore them and work around them. My female brain needs the less than female body to survive, and Lexi I am using it as such nothing more than a tool . Nourishment and the capability to move around, as I say a symbiotic relationship. Two entities occupying the same space.

It is tough but each day becomes easier.

Brainwashing is the hardest to overcome. This is why transgender people feel guilty. Guilty of what? Why on earth should I feel guilty for being a woman? And neither should you. 

A feeling of guilt is only relevant when the situation is within our control being transgender is not in our control ergo we cannot be guilty.

??? Kali-Ann xxx 

 

[Lexi]

It's the two entities that tear me apart. Most times it's manageable. This morning it hit hard. Rereading this convo over and over has helped take the edge off though. I'll be able to make it through today and like you said every day gets easier. 

 

Sorry for dominating your incredibly helpful post. This one really resonated for me and I'm not yet allowed to pm >.<

 

My gratitude to you is unexpresseable. Biiiiig hugs! Xoxo

[Kali-Ann Gills]

18 hours ago, Lexi said:

It's the two entities that tear me apart. Most times it's manageable. This morning it hit hard. Rereading this convo over and over has helped take the edge off though. I'll be able to make it through today and like you said every day gets easier. 

 

Sorry for dominating your incredibly helpful post. This one really resonated for me and I'm not yet allowed to pm >.<

 

My gratitude to you is unexpresseable. Biiiiig hugs! Xoxo

Lexi I really do understand. I am just another transgender woman however, I have been around the block a few times. My experiences as a young girl and young woman allows me to place things in a slightly different context.

Those experiences opened my eyes to the reality of how women are viewed and treated by society. And believe me that view is a lot narrower than people imagine. Women are subjected to scrutiny in ways that men never will be. Being a woman either transgender or cis is not easy; nor is it,  I am afraid to say, the paradise that some believe. A woman has to fight to be heard in the workplace because we have breasts and a vagina  we are viewed as less than men. And like it or not it is subconsciously assumed that we are less intelligent and less capable than men. This is totally wrong however, it is another instance of thousands of years of conditioning.

This is one factor that transgender women struggle with as soon as I started living as a woman again 24/7/365 everything changed; fortunately because of my experiences I was in many ways prepared for this. It has been this way since we came out of the trees and it is unlikely to change.

We may not be as physically strong as men however, we are far more adapted to our environment. More agile, less prone to diseases and our pain threshold is far higher: indeed there is a school of thought that believes that in the early days of Homo Sapiens women were the most likely to have been the main bread winner. Principally because our patience levels are more advanced, we are less likely to become frustrated. Having had a number of boyfriends during my life I rapidly came to the conclusion that men are rather simple creatures compared to women. I have also found that transgender women have a deep down capacity to multi task, unfortunately this capacity has been diluted by brainwashing however, with hormone treatment and life experience as a woman in the world these inbuilt abilities flourish. A recent report states that you could fill a cis male with female hormones and whilst they would develop breasts etc because their brains are wired exactly opposite of the female the traits that makes us women would never develop.

We perceive things in a very different way. Tests in the eighties found that women see far more colours than men and our sense of smell is far more advanced, also our hearing is more acute. Ergo WE WERE the bread winner.

I can communicate with my best friend Tania without saying a word; I am not suggesting telepathy no, a look or a simple hand movement and she understands completely the same is prevalent with other women also.

The woman's world is really a thing of magical closeness; to be successful in this world a transgender woman has to understand it. Whilst it is acceptable to be loud and boisterous in other women's company IT IS NOT acceptable to do so when you are with your boyfriend / husband. 

I am far from the shrinking violet however, my boyfriend expects a certain level of behaviour. Have you ever wondered why men find hen parties so threatening? The answer is this, because they are not in control. Indeed if they tried to enter that environment they would be belittled and made to be unwelcome. In short men find women threatening when we are given free rein. Tanias' hen night was a point of this. We ordered a gallon of Mohito seventeen women going for it: the barman was huge yet, he was scared to bring the pitcher over lol.

Lexi being a woman is more than a pretty dress. I am more than happy to help you find this understanding.

Being a woman is to win gods lottery. However, remember that being a woman carries a responsibility. A man may be many things but a woman is always a woman. 

I am here if you need me.

????Kali-Ann xx