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jae bear

My first time using make up!!!

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jae bear

I decided last night that when I went out to the regular trans women support group I was gonna kick my girl mode up a notch. I had my favorite pair of vintage Lee Rider mom jeans and a really cute blue T-shirt that ever so slightly  hugged what ever little curves I had. I threw on my just purchased stretchy fabric bra which support the girls nicely and I slipped on my favorite lavender hightops. I’ve had to start using my purse again because the pockets on girl jeans are crazy small, I think I need to go down to the local thrift store and see if I can find something better than my old tactical messenger bag.  Earlier in the day I’d stopped by Walgreens to grab some eyeliner and a neutral nude shade of lipstick for a subtle look.  After messing up the eyeliner tip a few times I realized there was a sharpener on the back and that helped tremendously, and I finally figured out exactly how I wanted the eyeliner to work but I must admit it was very difficult to apply as it took more effort than I suspected to transfer the eyeliner from the tip of the pencil to the skin around the lid and lash line. The mascara was really easy as I already know having watched my wife that you can’t mess around with it for too long because it gets clumpy, so did a quick touchup and it came out nice. The neutral lipstick worked well even if it looked exactly the same as my natural lip color, it did enhance my thin lips and kept me from feeling self-conscious with makeup my first night out...  I was quite a bit worried about overdoing the look, the last thing I wanted was to look like a tart! I got a lot of compliments from the girls when I showed up because they have never seen me in anything other than rather androgynous mode, and since my hair now has some length and without mousse has some volume and curl, some of the girls said that they didn’t even recognize me! Much later that evening when we had walked back to the parking lot a few girls and I were chatting outside before we left for our cars, a young gentleman in a BMW pulled up and wanted to talk to me, I wasn’t sure if he was going to ask directions or make a rude comment, but it became apparent rather quickly that he was interested in me and wanted to talk  to me specifically. I didn’t want to get anywhere near him honestly, so  the other girls and I stayed near each other and politely waved him off, and while he did persist a little he finally politely waved and drove away. I’ve been finding lately that standing directly under the streetlamp casts rather complementary shadows on my body shape, and we were definitely  standing right below the street light when he pulled up, I’m going to have to find a way for a streetlamp to be continually overhead so I’m always looking my best !





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Carolyn Marie

Your makeup was done very well, Jackie.  It's difficult at first but once you get the hang of it, it should be a quick and easy job.  Of course, if you're like me, you're going to make mistakes.  Sometimes I have to use a makeup remover pad to take off excess eye liner.  I use liquid usually because I find it easy to control, but you have to apply it carefully and sparingly.    A little goes a long way, and you seem to have learned that lesson very well.  I'm especially impressed with your lashes.  :goodjob:


Carolyn Marie

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jae bear

  Hey Carolyn,

I got more practice today, it turned out I remembered something from group night about a trans gayme night Organized in the sofa district of downtown San Jose today. I called some friends that live relatively nearby and told them I was going to go out in girl mode and I would love to see them and play some games, so they jumped in their car and we met up there on S. 1st St. in the sofa district. We sat down at a vegan pho restaurant and it was super awesome! The bowls were the size of basketballs,  and I was astounded by the quantity of food, to top it off the quality was beyond anything I’ve experienced in a pho restaurant !  Both of those boys clean their plates and I don’t know how the heck they did it ?!  And they politely took my two container filling leftovers home as a snack for later, those are two hungry boys !!!

 I can’t tell you how much fun I have with my friends, I think I’ve kind of hit the jackpot when it comes to fantastic people in my life, and they made the evening so light and fun I forgot completely that I was in girl mode and it was the best night out I’ve had in a long long time, basically the last time I had a night that good was with the two of them several weeks before, they are really just that Fun!  They drove me back to  where my mini van was parked, and we waved goodbye, I jumped in my little mommy van and realized I had on make up and my nails were done nice, and it all came back to me, oh crap I’ve been a girl mode the whole night ! I don’t know why but it just feels natural, I felt very much more at ease and wasn’t thinking about everyone else seeing something rather androgynous, Because what’s the difference right? Androgynous boy mode versus androgynous girl mode, people still have their own reactions and at the same time it occurred to me I could care less. I think girl mode is going to be out a whole lot more,  for whatever reason I was thinking I was going to have to wait until after FFS, but now I just feel like going full-time because I don’t care what other people think. What an awesome evening !

I came home and realized my make up was still intact, so I wanted to take a selfie, and I also realized I had a similar selfie in the same corner of the kitchen in boy mode, so I wanted a comparison, it’s so funny my boy mode and girl mode are so similar but I like my girl mode look better,  I just wish I had longer hair-

just give me time...





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jae bear

 Oh and of course I got my nails done this afternoon and got a lot of interesting looks in the salon... I loved looking to my right to see 8 girls quickly swivel their heads back straight, Ha ha ha, I love the attention !  And I also managed to get my make up done in 15 minutes today and it works so much better for some reason and the results were even better !



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Love the nails! 

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jae bear

 Oh my gosh Cluck!  Thank you for the compliment, I just saw your nails on your last post about that, what beautiful nails you have!  No wonder the girls around your office see them, your natural beauty in this department is quite the blessing, I bet you’re proud !  I wish I knew your name, but I didn’t see it anywhere so far, I know you were thinking about Lexi,  I think that would be really cool ! I must admit I have no idea how Jackie slipped in there, I was just thinking to go with a J name because that’s what my dead name started with, and everybody’s been calling me Jae for years and that works as a nickname for Jacqueline and then my mind slipped down a notch and said “Jackie”... Then I said it out loud once and it felt right,  then I saw it slip into a couple posts at the end and I realized subconsciously that correct feeling manifested itself into an identity, then I talked a bit with a few of my friends here and close personal friends and that was it, Jackie knew who she was!  It’s going to be fine when you find out what your name is, unless of course you know what your name is now, and I would love to know it too!  No pressure though, I’m just excited to have met you, and I look forward to seeing something really pretty covering those awesome nails you have !


Jacqueline a.k.a. Jackie

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