And the there was Makayla!!

[MAKAYLA02]

So I wanted to say a little about myself and my phone is the only means I have to do so.  Please forgive my typo’s as I am sure they will be present.

    Let me start out by saying that for as long as I can remember I have want to be or thought I should have been a girl. Now I wasn’t one who hated being male, at times I enjoyed it and I got two very awesome sons out of the deal.  I grew up the youngest of three boys.  That’s s lot of testosterone in my house hold.  Many times I didn’t know how to be masculine but believe me my brothers didn’t let me do anything that resembled femininity.  “Stop being a girl” or “Your such a wuss” among other’s were phrases I heard regularly.

     So I grew up as a pretty normal boy but always had the desire to wear woman’s clothes.  First time that I remember I was about 5 years old visiting my grandparents where my cousin Angie lived.  Ange was 5 years older and was in ballet most her life.  When I saw her leatards I had to try them on.  They where an older pair that she had worn years prior.  An all green body suit with a totoo.  When she noticed me looking at it she and my oldest brother put it on me.  Of corse I yelled no but inside I was really saying yes.  They had me parade out in the living room until my grandpa yelled “Get that $&@t off of him”.

     After that i dressed every chance I got, off corse a few years had passed before I remember getting a chance to do so.  Except for Halloween, probably 7 out of 10 Halloween’s I wentvas a girl of some sort.  

     Through the years I learned to surpress my urges.  I dated girls and even fell in Love a few times.  But when I was 18 I was over a good friends house and seen him getting out of the shower.  I couldn’t stop looking and apeherently he noticed.  Not sure how it happened but that night I performed oral on him.  This led to a very secretive friendship.  Neither one of us wanted anyone to know.  But then we graduated and went our own ways besides we both had girlfriends.

      My girlfriend at the time  liked to torture me by putting makeup on me or painting my nails when she was bored.  But it ended when I told her that I liked it.

     I continued to date girls and ended up getting married at 25.  She had two kids already when I met her and we had two more of our own.  I think the only things I enjoyed out of this marriage were the kids and the fact that we wore the same size clothes.  Yep, I would encourage her to go out with her friends do I could stay in and wear her clothes.  I was in heaven until I left my bedroom door cracked open and her oldest (~9 at the time) walked in on me.  That was my first opportunity to come out, but instead I just said I was washing my clothes and just put them on for something to wear.  For other reasons this marriage ended in divorce and I got custody of my boys.

     Wow this is running on!!  I will shorten it up!!

   After all that I tried the marriage thing again but was just never happy.  That is until  I heard about Kaitlin Jenner.  Her coming out helped me to realize who I was.  I started secretly buying women’s clothes of my own.  Met a couple cross dresser friends and did some crazy things.  But I was still very much closeted and I didn’t know there was a difference between CD’s  and TG’s.  I figured that out just a couple years ago.  Shortly after I really started transitioning IE growing my hair and nails longer, shaving my legs and puts regularly and so forth. Still closeted though, then it happened, my second heart attack.  That’s when it hit me that life is to short to hide who you are.

      My kids were the first to know and damn was it hard to tell them.  Next was therapy to figure it all out, well still trying to figure it all out.  Then I told my parents and the rest of my family.  Simultaneously I was telling many of my friends then my boss and HR at work.  

     Today I have been transitioning for just over a year, completely out since the first of the year and on Estradiol patch for a little over two months.  My journey has been bordering on perfect.  Family still accepts me, my work asked “What can we do to make this easier for you?”  Friends and coworkers seem very interested in following my journey.   

     That’s my story, hope it can be inspiring to others that not all stories or out come have to be bad.  I thing I did a lot of worrying for nothing.

 

?Makayla?

[MaryEllen]

Thank you for sharing with us. A fascinating story.

[Jani]

Hello Makayla!   I'm glad your life is moving in a positive direction and all has been good.  It's always nice to have support from those close to us.  Thanks for sharing! 

 

Jani

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Makayla.  That was a very interesting story, and I thank you for sharing it with us.  A lot of us have been where you are, and things have turned out well, and I see that they're turning out well for you   I hope your happiness and success continues.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[tracy_j]

Hi Makayla,

 

Welcome

 

Tracy

[Lexi]

Hi Makayla, 

 

   I'm glad to hear your kids took it well. It's amazing how much strength acceptance from them can give. Hope things keep getting better and better for you and yours. Hugs! 

 

Lexi, 

 xoxo

[Charlize]

Welcome Makayla.  Simply knowing I wasn’t alone helped me.  Enjoy your time here and thanks for sharing your story.

 

hugs,

 

Charlize