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My first time in girl mode at work


jae bear

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 Hey Adaline, 

 I don’t think lines in the sand are as hard and fast as we think they are, I’ve seen so many lines in the sand the distance behind us looks like a railroad track. I was so interested in stepping over the line I didn’t realize some of them were invitations to discuss rather than a command to stop. These days I noticed that she will say one thing that seems like a line in the sand, but in reality her actions are quite different And if I’m gentle with her and give her time she’s the one stepping over the line. And I suppose the lesson here is being patient and not focusing on what is said but on the actions and outcome. Jani is going to have some really good information for you, She is the model of patience and has powers of observation more fitting for someone of super human intelligence,  oh if I could just channel a little bit of her once in a while!  Ha ha ha!  I think one of the negative traits about myself that I have seemed to ignore and drag with me from the boy world is impatience, but I work on it a little bit every day, and I don’t think I recognized that early on but being aware is important, you still clearly are aware first then analyze, be proud of this talent !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

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I want to thank both of you ladies for the reply’s and the sound advice.  My wife has been wonderfully supportive and does everything she can without violating her conscience.  It’s good for me to step back for a moment and appreciate what she has done and the sacrifices she is willing to make.  The other day I was having a hard time.  If I get stuck in boy mode for to long or get stuck in a male dominated role, the anxiety builds and then depression sets in.  When I got home, she could see this was happening and went and found one of her night gowns that I could have.  Putting it on immediately eased my mind.  Last night she helped me pick out an outfit for to wear for group tonight.  She hates me attending, can’t wait till it ends, but is still willing help where she can.  

She he has been very up front with me, if I socially transition the marriage is over.  This is why she hates group, in her mind it is to close to that line.  Time is needed, this requires  patience but I don’t think she will ever budge on this matter.  I think I could live with that if I had an occasional opportunity to socialize as a female.  Group did that but it’s almost over.  

 

I really have nothing to complain about, many other girls have it much rougher than me.  I guess it’s just the anxiety of knowing that group is about to end.  I feel like I’m taking a step backwards.

 

much hugs

Adaline 

 

 

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Just a bit of warning, I had to be honest with myself despite the threat of my ex leaving me. When it became obvious to myself that I needed to transition, I had to be honest with her about that need. What she did with that was decide to separate and divorce. For me though that was not the only reason for the divorce, as there were other issues in our three year (childless) marriage.   

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Hey Jackie/Jani,

 

Last night at group we had a guest from a another support group in Allentown.  She was super nice and had all kinds of encouraging suggestions for the situation with my wife.  What impressed me the most is when she started to transition her wife reacted very similar to the way my wife is reaching, minus the religious angle.  Like me, she started off by just deciding to take things to the next level without talking about it, I think we all do this but it’s where she went from there that was interesting.  She used two techniques, one she called “calling” and the other was a “test drive”.  In calling, she would give indications on what she would like to do next.  For instance, when she wanted to get her ears pierced, she would comment on how nice a set of earring looked, ask her wife what earring she thought would look best on her, or comment on another woman’s earrings.  Then when she got her ears pierced her wife was upset but wasn’t surprised.  In test drivers, she would ask her wife to try a small thing and let her see the world didn’t end.  For instance, she convinced her to go through a drive up widow at MacDonalds while in girl mode,  when the cashier made no comment or even noticed, it helped ease her fears.  She gradually did more and longer test drives until her wife allowed her to go full time.

 

 She also mentioned that her wife observing how presenting female was increasing her happiness and she became less resentful of the other changes.

 

I’m not saying that the same techniques will work for me but it gives me some ideas and a way to move forward.  It seams that patients, avoiding crossing any lines but subtly pushing boundaries and avoiding any shocking surprises is my best bet.

 

At least today, I’m optimistic that I’m going to find a way for this to work, we will see how I feel tomorrow.

 

Thanks for listening 

 

Adaline

 

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 Hey Adaline, 

 Those are some really interesting technique’s, I don’t think I’ve heard of them before but I do understand the theory behind them. It does make sense to call attention to a particular topic either in the surrounding environment or directly with our wives, I suppose gently hinting is another way to think of it. I don’t know if I did this or not, if I did my wife most likely saw through me as I not exactly subtle!  Ha ha ha !  But I really like the testdrive idea, I never really got to do this, things went South so quickly I barely had time to get up off the floor and dry my eyes before I realized what happened. I used to know a girl who dated a cross dresser for a while, I don’t know if she particularly liked him but they were together for a couple years, and he used to like driving around as the passenger in his convertible while she chose areas to go for a nice drive. There is something rather safe about driving around in a car, even if it’s a convertible some how the car itself is a personal space bubble, it gives you just enough distance from those around you to feel a certain amount of personal safety and anonymity.  This pair would drive around with the top down quite often, I wonder if the test drive technique with being engaged here? Quite literally there was driving involved, but they seemed to be OK with one another anyway even if the girlfriend wasn’t very enthusiastic about the cross dressing. I Don’t really know what became of the two but I know they separated, I often wonder what happened to that cross dressing girl, I wonder if she’s trans these days or fully transitioned, or just enjoying the same feeling from trying on a new outfit.

 I did manage to bring a little more girl mode out at work today, we had a big shake up with a terminated employee yesterday that caused a big stir, and I of course had to take care of the aftermath and prepare the documentation for employee termination. This employee has not been very reliable,  it seems he’s been drinking on the job and has hidden some alcohol here and there around the shop, not a good plan if you like your job. I’ve had to write him up about this before, so it really should not have come as a shock to him when he couldn’t keep his job.  Since I am in charge of HR as well as all of the Myriad other things I have to do, I wrote a really simple termination letter for him, I saved  him the hassle of termination for bad behavior and just wrote up the letter for workforce reduction, which is true because were running thin right now. I also put that I would be happy to provide a letter of recommendation, however I think he knows it would be a very short letter as I can only say he’s intelligent and knows how to run a machine and not much else.  I prepared his last two paychecks and all of his PTO, he acrued a whopping 50.32 hours of PTO so his check was big! But the big shocker was last night, something I have never experienced before, I was chatting on the phone with one of my friends when an enormous pounding shook the wall and threatened to break the glass in the windows !  I thought something had exploded in the pool area, then I heard cursing and screaming followed by my name, it was the disgruntled employee  enraged by the idea that I would have the nerve to terminate him !  I’m not sure if he was high or drunk or both but he was not exhibiting sane behavior, I was legitimately scared I didn’t know what I should do, but I knew I was not gonna open my door ! I tried to talk to him through the window but realized he could break the glass at any second and I backed up and I threatened to call the police and immediately started fumbling with my phone to do so. His brain cells must’ve clicked on that because he backed up and started cursing and screaming at the entryway to my apartment patio. Either someone at the pool or my neighbors called the apartment security as they arrived moments after he took off, and of course now the apartment complex is mad at me!  I was legitimately worried about this lunatic all night long, I didn’t sleep well last night. I guess he thought for some reason I would have his paychecks here at my house, because you know that’s what everyone does when they’re not at work, take everything home with them and keep working ?

 The whole point to this horrific story is that this morning I decided to go in to the office  in girl mode, well even more than my normal girl mode I guess, and I even brought more clothes to girl it up even further since I was going to go out during the morning break to my therapist appointment. Since this deadbeat employee was a no-show all morning I was going to get ready quick and head out, but I was really kind of wondering if the color choice I made was a mistake as I was pairing a bright coral top with lavender Hi tops. Granted there was some mom jeans in between the shoes and the shirt, I just don’t like those two colors anywhere near one another. I asked someone in the reception area if they thought it looked OK and it took me a moment to realize nothing was being said so I looked up and my coworker was gawking at me and I realized I don’t think he’s seen me quite girled up that far,  or for that matter wearing a normal bra! My pullover fabric bra kinda flattens things out,  Which works well if you’re trying to understate your girl mode, But the form fitting bright coral top with three-quarter sleeves and a pair of extremely noticeable underwire A cups paired with mom jeans and some lavender high tops was more than he could manage to bear!  I think he stammered something about it looks good, and what was I doing to make myself look so much like a girl? I laughed and said estrogen does wonders right? He finally looked me in the eyes and said, yes it does, yes it does ...  and then he got serious about checking out this color combination and said he thought it was fine, and observed that I was far too worried about this clothing choice,  then you could noticeably see his gears turn as he realized why I was upset, saying something like he would never think about colors pairing or not !   We both stood there and laughed until we ran out of breath, and I saw him wipe the smallest of tears from the corner of his eye, and I waved goodbye as I walked out the office door and headed to my minivan.  I’m half tempted to go to work more often in that  particular girl mode, but since they want me to work in the shop more often filling in where the machinist now no longer has residence I see more boy T-shirts in my future and a few more chipped nails than I really would prefer ! Ugh,  I can’t wait till things pick up so I can hire a new machinist !

 Hugs, 

Jackie

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Jackie,

 

All I can say is OMG I would have been so scared to death if that had happened to me.  I don’t know how you managed to keep it together, I’m sure I would have been a total wreck.  That you had all that happen and still where worried about your outfit just shows how powerful and deep girl mode runs.

 

I totally love the experience with your other coworker.  I just woke up after an intense dream full of conflict, maybe that’s why, reading what happened to you was so intense and I was totally absorbed in the terrible circumstances, but then the response of your other coworker, totally made me laugh, smile and feel good.  The power of laughter to make us see things in a whole new perspective is amazing.  I wish I could have seen his face and yours at that very moment of realization, it would have been priceless.  I think it’s awesome that they are seeing you for who you are and feel comfortable enough with you as a person to talk about the changes in an honest and positive light.  Of course your willingness to share with others what it means and how it feels to be trans goes a long way in making a relationship like that work.  Transitioning is such a deeply personal thing that I understand when someone going through it is reluctant to let others in, but your openness and willingness to answer the questions of those that are sincerely interested goes a long way in helping others to be accepting.  It’s like your attitude and positive personality makes you a goodwill ambassador for the trans community in your work place.

 

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t put lavender and coral together in the same outfit.  It’s the type of color combination that you see in bridesmaids dresses, and we all know that a brides chief reason for  picking the style of the bridesmaids dress is to make her look better than them.  Maybe not on a conscience level but definitely on a subconscious one.  Still you just got over a huge ordeal and may have been suffering from PTSD so I think you are good.  My wife has finally started to help me with matching colors, patterns, and accessories, left on my own I tend to look like one of the characters from the Rocky Horor Picture Show.  I wear a regular bra to work but with a t-shirt and dress shirt it’s had to see much.  It’s not a push-up bra or anything like that just a regular every day bra.  If I’m just in a t-shirt, I need to go with a sports bra or you will definitely notice,  but you are right it flattens the girls out.  

 

Glad you’re alright and safe

 

Many Hugs 

Adaline

 

 

 

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Adaline, you just don't really know how other people think and feel but I know my experience has been crazy. When my wife found out I was not a CD but was really trans and that I could no longer deny who I was, we both had an emotional, tearful, meltdown. She was very hurt and said some very hurtful things. I was upset to be the cause of all this pain. I even foolishly commented that it might be easier for her if I was dead... that did not go over well! I asked her to come with me to talk with a therapist about our issues. She flat out refused. 

A few weeks later we had another smaller tearful meltdown and again, I was out of my mind with guilt and remorse for the emotional pain and turmoil I was causing my wife. We have been married for 29 years and I told her about my need to dress in woman's clothes but nothing about being transgendered. I told her that I was transgender about 10 months ago. I'm on HRT since April 17th 2018. After the last meltdown I was thinking of the last 63 years and how I had managed to live in a man's world as a man (albeit unhappily) and that in order to stop all this pain and turmoil I would stop my transition and pack away (not purge) all my women's stuff and just do the best I can with continuing on living as male. My wife was working in her office (she works remotely from home) and called me to please get her some coffee. When I took her some she asked me something and I answered. I thought I was being normal, but she turned and looked at me and asked what was wrong? Nothing, I said. Then why are you so angry? I'm not angry, I said as quietly and reassuringly as I could. She pressed for more information. What is wrong! She insisted. I told her I wasn't going through with transitioning. I was not going to take any more hormones after today and was going to remain male. She said we would talk about it when she was finished working. I said ok and went to the bedroom with 3 green garbage bags and began folding my tops, dresses and slacks and carefully putting them in a bag. I had only packed away about 10 items when my wife walks into our bedroom and says, I knew it! Stop! I continued folding clothes... STOP!!! She yelled! No. I'm not throwing them away, I'm just packing them up. STOP!!! she insisted! We'll talk about this after I'm done working... So I stopped, and patiently waited for our conversation... 

When we first started talking about what I was doing, I fully expected my wife to be over the moon... She wasn't. She started crying and crying... my wife is not a crier so I was really surprised how this "happy news" was affecting her. She told me she couldn't deal with this "flip" and when I decided in a day or week or month that I had to transition again, she couldn't deal with it. She couldn't be the reason I was going to stop transition. All she wanted was for me to be happy. I said what about her and she told me that she would be ok. WHAT!!!??? This was not what I was expecting to hear. We talked, and I argued this was not just about wanting to stop her pain (yes it was) she kept telling me that transitioning wasn't something I wanted to do, it was something I needed to do... or had I been lying? I finally, tearfully relented that I did need to transition and she told me that for 63 years I had buried this but now had a chance to be truly happy for the last possibly 30 years of my life... and she wasn't going to be responsible for me not being happy. Then I asked her if she loved me? Yes she loves me. If I transition will you still love me? Not as a husband. Her love would be different, but yes she would still love me. I'd have to move because she couldn't imagine people perceiving us as having a lesbian relationship. So the final question was, if I transition will you be ok? She said I won't be ok the day it happens, or the week after it happens, but yes, she'd be ok. Then she told me the only important question I had to ask was could I deal with my son turning his back on me once I told him? I absolutely don't believe that will ever happen, nor does my wife. But it could happen... I said I would deal with it if that happens. (what choice would I have?) 

So, trying to mend my wife's emotional pain and return normalcy to her life hasn't worked at all. It actually caused more alarm and pain... Apparently you really can't put the Genie back in the bottle! So, I am continuing with my HRT and transition plans, such as they are. I certainly don't know the end of the story but I am happy to have been able to resolve some of the issues I am having. My wife still refuses to come with me or go see someone else to get therapy to help her with our transition... I'm still very happy I am becoming the woman I truly am, but I would have stopped if that would have helped my wife with her emotional pain and turmoil... I'm not the kind of person who doesn't care and would have stopped, but she isn't the kind of person who wants to be responsible for causing pain to me. Wish me luck as I proceed. I'm still going to be seeing my gender therapist, and who knows what the future holds... maybe my wife will join me, eventually. Take care and I apologize for the length of this post. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

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Oh, Julie. I'm so sorry. And I'm crying now!

This rings so true for me and I understand exactly where you're coming from. It sounds like your wife has a very good heart. Be thankful that she'll be in your life. Maybe not in exactly the same way, but still there. That's precisely where I'm at with my wife. Some days it feels terrible to think of what we're losing. Some days it feels wonderful to think of how we're still continuing to support one another and work through it all.


Every day, though, I'm thankful to be moving ahead because there's no way, knowing what I feel now, that the genie could go back in the bottle forever. Maybe for a little while, but she'd never make a home in the bottle again.

Best of luck!
Julie

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Thanks for your kind words Julie. I am so happy about finally starting my transition but I have a lot to deal with emotionally, with my wife. I really hope it will be smoother with my son, but as my wife says, anything can happen... ?

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

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Hey Julie J,

 

I love to say your name, Julie J.  I want to thank you for your post and I’m so glad you provided so many details.  A lot has happened since my late post.  I think the emotional hammer of hrt hit last Monday and I’ve been all over the place ever since.  It started with me having the best girl night I have ever had and almost ended with me purging all my clothes, canceling my therapy appointments and flushing my girl pills down the toilet.  I started hrt April 10th, and had recently been lamenting that hrt hasn’t affected me emotionally, then pow, it was like being hit by the pms train.  My wife has reluctantly agreed to physical transitioning, she hates seeing me in pain and has noticed that dress, hormones and living my life authenticity greatly reduces the the distress.  As long Its not public she is willing to compromise and sometimes even tells me it’s okay when she thinks I’m holding back because of her.  Social transition is a whole nether matter and this is what caused the meltdown.  The downside of hrt is that it feels so good it makes not transitioning almost impossible, it’s like a magnet that keeps getting stronger and stronger.  After a whole week of crying, my wife crying, me crying even more, lead to me having a revelation and making a decision that Adaline needed to go. After a day of boy mode my wife had had enough, she thought that I was intentionally distancing myself from her, but when she finally got a chance to talk to me personal, she was horrified that I would make a huge decision like that without even consulting her.  Turns out that I’m a much more plasent, patient, and affectionate person when I’m not trying to suppress my true gender. I knew that but I was never sure if she felt the same way.  Don’t get me wrong, she wishes that I wasn’t trans but understands that’s its who I am and denying it hurts us both.  She still doesn’t want me to socially transition but is willing to look at the possibility of allowing Adaline to take a few discrete field trips.  

 

I found you experience so moving because we assumed the same thing, that being trans was the source of all the problems and if we could just stop,everything would be fine.  Our wives seem to understand that being trans is not like switching a light on and off, that being female is at the core of our personally and to separate it  is tantamount to having a lobotomy.  It shows how much she really cares for you that she’s willing to set you free even if it costs her something.  I hope she catches up with you and makes the journey.

 

Hugs 

Adaline

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Thanks Adaline. Your story kind of reflects mine except you've been on HRT for 1 week longer than me, and I have had my wife's support to be Julie so long as I do not go in and out of the house as a female. I belong to a trans support group out of Toronto called Xpressions, and have been to a number of events since last September, as Julie, 2 to 3 hours out of town in the Toronto area. I have met some wonderful people and developed a very supportive network and a couple of very good friendships with other transwomen from Xpressions. My wife is supportive of me exploring my feminine side, but not in our home town of London (Ontario) but I keep pushing, and I think that may be contributing to the emotional roller coaster. I keep a dialogue open with my trans friends and update them on how my journey is going. The one consistent theme I hear over and over again is to SLOW DOWN! I don't want to slow down. I've probably been waiting most of my life to get to the point where I am actually embracing my being transgendered and moving towards transition in spite of my fears... I used to be alone in my quest but with the understanding and support of all you beautiful women (and men) I am not alone. I cannot transition by myself and even if it works out that my marriage is part of the price, I am certain I can work through it, as many other transgendered people have. It's the amazing acceptance and love for me that has allowed me to be accepting of myself as the woman I am becoming... as the woman I have always been. Please keep us updated with  story of your transition, good, bad or indifferent. We need each other and your story gives me hope and strength. Thanks for sharing your journey. 

Hugs & Smiles 

Julie J 

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Hey Julie J,

 

My wife has asked that I not consider socially transitioning for a year and then we revaluation at that time.  She understands that I may need to interact with the world in girl mode on occasion has suggested that we go shopping or out somewhere that nobody would know us.  I need to be careful that our first experience is not a negative one.  That year can be used to get prepared for a possible transition, if that’s what is decided.  It was my original intention to get as close to the jump off point as possible before I committed to full time but the loss of group made me panic.  

 

I work with the school system and occasionally need to work around children.  I love working with the kids but being openly trans is going to create problems.  The shorter the transition period the easier it will be for all concerned and it will give hrt a year and a half to work it’s magic.  That means hair removal, voice training, a new wardrobe, learning makeup and hair.  A lot needs to be done and it’s not just the time but the money involved.  

 

There are a couple of trans groups about an hour drive from me.  I’m hoping that things will settle down a bit and that I can persuade her to let me go.  It’s funny, my wife let’s me go in and out of the house when going to group, she just asks that I be careful and watch out for her parents.  They live next door and sometime are walking the dog at the edge of our yard. They know I’m trans but not about all the rest.  Walking around town is definitely a no-no.  I need to convince her that the best way to not be noticed is to blend in.  Time is needed and I need to slow down, but like you, how do you delay another moment when you know what you have been longing for all your life is now possible?

 

I can’t afford the same disaster that occurred when I tried to come out last year,  this time I need to carefully prepare the way.  That takes time but can I wait?

 

I can absolutely guarantee that one way or another I will get my chance to walk openly with my sisters and live the life that should have been mine. 

 

hugs

Adaline 

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  • Forum Moderator
5 hours ago, Adaline said:

I will get my chance to walk openly with my sisters and live the life that should have been mine. 

 Yes, yes you will !

5 hours ago, Adaline said:

the best way to not be noticed is to blend in.

  This is some sound advice, Adaline you’ve got some wisdom here that I simply could not agree more! 

 

5 hours ago, Adaline said:

My wife has asked that I not consider socially transitioning for a year

 

5 hours ago, Adaline said:

That year can be used to get prepared for a possible transition,

That year can be used to a great advantage, putting in as much Electrolysis time as possible during this year would prove invaluable! and talking with your doctors, administering HRT,  going to voice therapy, getting blood tests, scheduling surgeries, and going to  your therapist are technically not “socially transitioning”,That year is going to go by so quick it’s important to plan every extra moment with care.

 Hugs 

Jackie

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Adaline I know several teachers who have successfully transitioned while still teaching high school and grade school.   If you do decide to bring this up with your school administration be prepared with a plan of action for them to wrap their heads around.  Do you know if any others have transitioned in your school district? 

 

I go to a couple different groups that are both an hour, or more away from home.    

8 hours ago, Adaline said:

I’m hoping that things will settle down a bit and that I can persuade her to let me go.

You need to go and do this for you.  I truly believe this would make a year go by faster for you.  

 

Interesting that your wife is all concerned yet her parents know.  Is there something more to her phobia of you being out that you're not seeing?

 

Jani

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Thanks girls for the vote of confidence.  

On 8/26/2018 at 7:35 PM, jae bear said:

That year can be used to a great advantage, putting in as much Electrolysis time as possible during this year would prove invaluable! 

I have my first electrolysis appointment Wednesday afternoon.  Hopefully my work will not make an issues about not shaving.  My wife knows it’s not cheap but I’m not sure if she realizes just how expensive it can be.  The place is only a few minutes from work and was recommended on a trans site.  I look forward to the hair removal but was also starting to look into voice training.  I don’t think I can afford a voice coach and electrolysis at the same time.  I need to find a cheaper way to do the voice training.  Not sure if the online classes are any good. 

22 hours ago, Jani said:

You need to go and do this for you.  I truly believe this would make a year go by faster for you.  

I realize the importance and the need to go to group but can’t afford to push too hard on that one right now.  My wife is worried that my association with the trans community will push me along faster than she is prepared for.  I think if I can do a few test drives and she sees that the world doesn’t end, it will help her to accept the need for me socialize female.  I find it funny (in an odd way, not a haha way) that she’s willing to go in public with me in girl mode but not willing to allow me to go to a trans only event alone.

 

22 hours ago, Jani said:

Interesting that your wife is all concerned yet her parents know.  Is there something more to her phobia of you being out that you're not seeing?

Me, my wife and my inlaws all belong to the same religion.  Those that know I’m trans, which is not many, empathize with me and are supportive but transitioning is definitely discouraged.  I don’t want to debate religion but it’s part of the equation.  My father in law has dementia and is somewhat clueless.  He knows I’m trans but that’s it and I think he assumes that there is nothing more to it.  My mother in law has a better idea as to what’s happening but has adopted a kind of don’t ask, don’t tell policy.   To illustrate the point, I was out in the yard doing a project and got my shirt all icky.  I didn’t want to walk in the house like that and thought I was alone so I took off my shirt and set it on the deck rail before entering.  I guess both my wife and mother in law where at the back of the yard an saw my bra.  My mother in law said nothing and just continued on like nothing happened.  My wife would rather not push the issue and just ask that I be careful when entering/exiting in girl mode.

 

thank you again for everything.

 

hugs and more hugs

Adaline

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  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi   boy you back to work and miss lots.  No time to catch up right now. But I will.   just wanted to let everyone know I’m still here.   willow
    • Davie
      "No one feels alone in a bookstore."
    • Davie
      Thanks, @VickySGVfor some truth. Hatred may speak loudly in a political agenda, but there is always love, there is always love.
    • VickySGV
      Doesn't this belong over in the Humor Topic??  Grim humor I admit, but it has the dark humor picture of the folks protesting the Sacramento Sanctuary Laws.  If the world is going to end next week why are these people so concerned about someone staying fertile and able to have children??   Crazy.
    • VickySGV
      Once again the opposition is telling scary, unfounded  baloney about what IS being done to any Trans Person.  The truth about the very little and very cautious treatments just will not sink into them because it will sink them.  They bully their own Cis children unmercifully to fit into their molds, and that is gruesome in itself. I am happy to say I know that Trans children and all Trans folks in the area have access to wonderful care based on what some of my former State colleagues who have Trans family members and fellow employees there in Sacramento keep telling me about. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.9news.com/article/news/local/local-politics/republicans-gop-ballot-initiatives-target-transgender-people/73-c47ad7ee-40ca-43e0-bb83-07e662eb1029   The reason CO has a Dem super majority is b/c it's a very blue state. A ballot initiative is going to go absolutely nowhere. They're wasting their time.   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/sacramento-sanctuary-city-transgender-people-rcna145287     Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      good for you dear. my guess is soreness is good sign things are going on there. water them n hope. smiles   actually was speaking to someone other day n they said the growth leveled off after a few years  which coincided with a few years of very high stress..n then when the high stress resolved, she grew another cup size..
    • missyjo
      darling I completely agree. but it will need road testing I'd think.    and I recently asked a surgeon about an idea I had for easier recovery...do a zero depth 1st..recover then add a canal..he said NO. this surgery is hard enough on body to recover, do not do it any more than needed. also said penile inversion usually is sufficient n includes a few centimeters of perineum tissue anyway..so keep the perineum pull through as a reserve technique in case there is a problem with theb penile inversion.    hugs to any who want them
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell from the article if being trans was part of the motivation for the crime, or whether it was simply incidental to it. Clearly at least one of the perpetrators was known to the victim, which seems to continue the pattern that the most dangerous people for us are often people we know.  😒
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Beans, beans, the musical fruit...   But beans and rice make a complete protein, and a pretty cheap base for any sort of meal. Since two of my partners are Hispanic and one is Asian, we use a lot of rice. Plenty of beans too, although 90% of the time they are on the form of black-eyed peas. That crop grows really well in the South no matter how hot and dry it gets.  And the Native American trio of corn, beans, and squash is a classic.  Actually, those ingredients tend to show clearly whether kids were raised with a healthy diet or not. Kids raised eating those foods luke them. Kids raised without experiencing those foods tend to reject them immediately. Rather strange.
    • Ashley0616
      I feel a little better about going outside. I got my EpiPen just in case of an emergency. Today was rough started euphoric and then depression hit real hard and I don't even know what it was about. It just happened. I want to see a bright future but it turns dim because of something. I was disappointed on how much supplemental insurance was more than regular health insurance. I enjoy seeing other successful people making it as a couple through everything in fact I cheer them on but it just makes me think if I will find anyone. I barely dated anyone when I was physically fit male and then it seems the older I get it gets harder. Not to mention everyone down here leaves as soon as they find out I'm trans. It's only going to get more difficult because of borderline personality disorder. It's dang near seems impossible that people would even put up with that. After all that I'm still trying to be positive and hope for the best but I always expect the worst and that has always been the case. Pushing 40 and I haven't even experienced true love.
    • Ashley0616
      Couldn't be any more truthful!
    • Mmindy
      Good afternoon everyone,    I’ve been working in the shop and preparing a few training props for shipping. So my responses and activity here has been very slow. I’m doing well just real tired.    Hugs,    Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mmindy
      That’s good news, listen to your doctors and your body. You may be asked to start a daily exercise routine and walking around the neighborhood. The worst thing you can do is become sedentary and laying around.    Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
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