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Pink Fog stories / experiences


LittleRed

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Hello,

 

I'm relatively new to this forum and also very very new to my own experiences as genderfluid, MtF, or whatever I am. I'm curious what others experience when they go through this period of "pink fog" that I've read about. Maybe stories or experiences that may help me understand what others go through. If you're comfortable sharing anything, please do (and it would be appreciated). If anything it would be good to hear experiences, which may make me feel better about things - it helps to know I'm not alone.

 

Most of this week I've been in a fog of some sort. For the most part, I feel like I'm floating and much of my body has a "tingle" feeling from my chest down to my toes. It comes and goes depending on how distracted I can be with my thoughts.

 

Yesterday I chose not to give into the urge to do anything or wear anything feminine and just let the fog roll in and be there (sort of an experiment). I wanted to see where it would take me.

 

I noticed much of the day I couldn't think straight - sort of felt like I was in a bit of a daze / confused state. I had that floating / tingle feeling come and go all day long. I noticed as I would get into a conversation with others that sparked my interest, the fog would completely dissipate until we were done on that topic and then it would hit me like a title wave. My normal concept of time was lost. I couldn't really get my over my discomfort with wearing a particular shirt I had chosen for the day. It probably didn't help that we were hanging out with some family and a group of people that happen to be very conservative (so the awkwardness was especially there). Nice people but not going to risk any exposure with any of them. My wife knew how I was feeling since we woke up (as I've been communicating all this with her - she's been super supportive of what I' going through). There was a moment when she got a bit concerned about me driving (the thought didn't occur that I was so distracted by it that it could become a safety issue).

 

By the end of the day, my wife asked me if we could just go home and asked me to "give in" and put on something that would make me feel better (I've mainly been taking the CD'ing to the extent of wearing undergarments as I am new to this). She expressed that my behaviors were a bit concerning and that I just didn't seem to be all there. I gave in and slipped on some panties, stockings, and a comfortable cami and put my same clothes back on. Most of the fog went away while we did some shopping. By the end of the afternoon, I had decided to remove the shirt that was bothering me so much and decided to never wear it again. I think at the point to where I made that conscious decision (that shirt being dead to me now), the fog was completely gone for the rest of the night.

 

I thought this was a very interesting experience and I'm still trying to understand why this is happening and what exactly triggers it. Would be interested to hear from you, if you're willing and comfortable sharing. 

 

Appreciated,

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For me it was not really the pink fog, it was coming to terms with being a transwoman. I did wonder if I might be gender fluid or some non-binary for a while, but in the end I realized that after long periods of not being "him", going back to "him" got more painful and depressing. So much so that I decided that transition was the right path for me to go on and started taking steps. Below is a link to the how my transition went from the first steps to 1 year post op.  

 

 

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  • Forum Moderator

Some call it the Pink Fog but it really is just as Marcie states, coming to terms with the changes.  At first it is all exciting and new.  Of course we want it all and we want it fast.  Wearing the clothing of the other gender is exciting as it has a bit of taboo attached to it.  The thought of going out in public has a bit of intrigue to it.  Its scary and can be dangerous if we're not careful.  They are certainly exciting times. 

 

I can certainly relate to it overwhelming my thought processes, unless interrupted by something more important!  But it does settle down as things become more routine and the newness wears off.  The next challenge is making it through the day as your new self.  As we were not raised in our true gender we have to watch, learn and absorb a lot of information in order to succeed.  That's not to say it gets boring.  There is never a dull moment in our lives! 

 

Keep reading and asking questions.  Push the boundaries slowly as you (and your wife) become comfortable.  You'll do well.

 

Cheers, Jani

 

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I tried to tell myself that I was a CD for years, even though I had wanted things to be different down there since I was a kid and was seriously frustrated when puberty hit. Even called some helplines back in the 80's...No help at all.. Lol
As for the pink fog, I dress everyday now as fighting this is utterly pointless any more...Well, for me anyway!

Just enjoy yourself and feel as comfortable as you can. ❤️

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