Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

mochi90

Do You Hate Cisgender People?

Recommended Posts

mochi90

Yesterday I had a falling out with my first transgender friend. The reasoning behind it was that he believes all cisgender people are evil, worthy of hatred, and that rage is strength. I believe he is wrong and told him so. At that point he stated that I was acting above him and forcing my view points on him, and he was not ok with that. 

I am a kind, compassionate, loving person. Above all else, I am a pacifist. I simply do not have it in me to hate 90% of the world's population. 

Do you guys feel the same way about cis people as my friend does? 

Share this post


Link to post
Robin

I do not think that it is reasonable to hate a cisgender person on the grounds of their gender, any more than for a cis person to hate a transgender person due to theirs.  Is cisphobia the latest trend?

 

Robin.

Share this post


Link to post
Kirsten

Yeah. There’s no real differences in trans or cis people. Or race, religion, sexual orientation, or anything else for that matter. We are all people. Some good. Some bad. But people nonetheless. Dislike people for who they are if you must. Not for what group they fit into. 

Share this post


Link to post
VickySGV

I can't say I hate them as a group, but some individual cis people do work themselves onto my "enjoy your own funeral" list, and they do have to work to get there.  My least favorite are the ones who claim to be allies, and then think they know what is best for Trans People or how I should be a Trans Person.  They have small ignorant brains and loud mouths and make me want to scream.  The ones who openly say they hate me but do nothing, I walk away from and ignore them which in my life is worse than hating really.  The actual physically violent or activist cis-people I can find that I hate, but I keep myself away from them if at all possible or I work with other Trans and Cis people to isolate and defuse them.

Trans people are not angels and some do have actual hatred or more realistically ENVY for cis people, especially after living with non-acceptance and often abuse that is physical and mental. These Trans people I know that way are angry for what has happened to them, and scared of what life seems like it will be.  The fact that I have lived through as many years as I have being my true self and am comfortable enough with my own life now as me also makes some Trans people envious of me and who claim wrongly that I look down on them which I feel sad about because I do not, and my heart is out to them.

Share this post


Link to post
SugarMagnolia

I try my best not to hate anyone...not even people that are hateful towards me. My hating someone else damages me not them. It's not always easy, but I try my utmost to find compassion for everyone. 

Kylo Ren and Anakin are wrong. 🙂

 

Share this post


Link to post
BrandiBri

I really don't hate anyone, I might hate their actions, reactions or attitude toward me or my transition, but I do not hate the person. Case in point, my youngest daughter can't seem to accept me, more likely for her religious viewpoint. I don't hate her, but I hate that she is intentionally trying to keep me away from my grandchildren. I have come to accept that she has her right to her own opinion and that I have no control over that. I find that the serenity prayer is appropriate in these situations.

Share this post


Link to post
MaryMary

no, in fact, I very rarely hang out with the LGBT community because I know more about cisgender white male and female prejudices then LGBT ones. I won't list them here but there's a lot. I have PTSD and it gives me a lot of social anxiety so I might seem distant and cold to other people but i'm not.

 

I don't like having hate in my life. I think it's the worst kind of emotional pollution in life. So in general I'm a very gentle person and I do my best to be generous and comforting to others when I muster the energy and courage to do so.

Share this post


Link to post
Carolyn Marie

In my lifetime I have found reason to hate a very small handful of people, and that is for their actions towards me, and not because of who they are.  I don;t judge people on anything other than what they do.  So no, I don't hate cis-folk.  But if someone in that group, or in any group, hurts me or mine, then all bets are off.

 

Carolyn Marie

Share this post


Link to post
Robin

There are always people ready to demonise an individual or group in order to gain control over others.  If someone tells you that a particular person is a threat to you, but offers to protect you from them, you are then grateful to the person that is supporting you, and you are likely to look up to them and support them.  If someone is living in fear, they are likely to cling to anyone that offers protection, and creating an imaginary threat is very easy. 

 

Robin.

Share this post


Link to post
MarcieMarie12

There are individuals I dislike, but that is the wrong word (to me it implies wishing to do harm to another). One thing I do hate is generalizations and beat myself up for it when I do it. I know it is part of human nature, but it is not a good one.

Share this post


Link to post
Charlize

I feel sorry or your friend who must feel terribly isolated in this world.  Hopefully they will find peace with the world.  Please don't consider falling into that wormhole.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Share this post


Link to post
jo jo

you must feel sorry for these people as everybody should be treated equally doesnt matter whether its colour creed gender everybody is equal....... im a socialist and believe we have no betters or nobody lesser theres too much judging going on in this world so chill

Share this post


Link to post
tracy_j

I believe in the saying, 'people are people'. There is prejudice everywhere, and the trans community is not exempt. I only have to look toward my stepson who is gay. He is very agressive with his opinions on acceptance, even though he is very sociable and fair. Even that, I find too much at times. There is obviously a big difference between open activism for a cause and directed prejudice, but I feel the line is very thin at times. Not forgetting that everyone has inbuilt self preservation, opinions and goals to work for.

 

My simple answer to the cis people issue, though, is that there is a gender spectrum. In this 'cis' as a term is really not one I use much as it is not easy to determine just how 'cis' someone is. I know it will be a little held view, and maybe I live in dreamland but 'people are people'.

 

Tracy

Share this post


Link to post
KymmieL

OK, playing the dumb blonde now😁 I have seen this term before but have no idea what it is or refers to. CIS ???

 

Thanks

Kymmie

Share this post


Link to post
MaryMary

cis-, meaning "on this side of" versus  trans-, meaning "across from" the gender that is assigned at birth

Share this post


Link to post
SugarMagnolia

cis is a latin prefix that essentially means, "same". The idea is that cis can be used to denote non-trans people without having to "non-trans". Having 'cis' and 'trans' makes it easier to put everyone on the same level.

Share this post


Link to post
SugarMagnolia

Thanks, Mary! I was trying to remember that off the top of my head and didn't quite come up with it. I appreciate you having the correct definition!

Share this post


Link to post
GothicLucas
On 9/13/2018 at 10:20 AM, Robin said:

 Is cisphobia the latest trend?

 

 

In my experience, it is...that's why I prefer not to hang around the younger (under 25) trans crowd. Maybe they're just still in the process of finding themselves. I got tired of being in spaces where it was ok to rant about "the cis," and where it always felt like "us vs. them." I feel like this mindset is especially unhelpful to people who are questioning their gender identity, or unsure about what to do with their discoveries. Keep in mind most people are pretty decent, no matter their age, but I left a couple of groups in which I felt a definite vibe of "if you don't follow all the trans rules, you are cis a.k.a. The Enemy." Nobody who is questioning themselves wants to become the enemy of the people they seek to identify with.

To answer the question more directly: as someone who has been fascinated with gender since the tender age of 4, I legitimately love ALL genders :)

Share this post


Link to post
MicahKj

i don't hate people just for being cis, but a good number of them scare the hell out of me to the extent that, among a buttload of other reasons, i tend to avoid talking to strange people in general in case they turn out to fall under the "bad cis" category. it's also very, very easy to blame the dismissal or the collective actions of cis people against trans people on their inability to understand the condition from their own personal experience. it's harder to relate to people when they're missing something that so deeply effects the course of your life and motivators.
there's also something very disconcerting about having an outwardly "friendly" conversation with someone and knowing that there's a good chance that they don't view you as a person, or that they'll think you're "mental" or "deluded" and need to be "fixed", possibly through unsafe methods and against your will, rather than respect your comfort.
and there's something downright terrifying about having that same conversation with someone and learning that they honestly believe that an old book, which no one fully agrees on the meanings of and most people only selectively heed, is the one singular thing keeping them from hurting others.
the feeling only gets worse and worse as one tries to keep up with politics or the news or listens in on support channels and adds on to their knowledge of what it means live as a transgendered person. i can't claim to know what's going on in the minds of teenagers at this point, but when someone belonging to a highly targeted minority develops a dislike or fear of being around a faction that often does the targeting, it doesn't feel like something a person is doing to seem "cool" or "trendy" or using to control others. it feels like survival instincts.
that said though, caution is one thing, but actually hating them obsessively just for the sake of them being different from us... seems a bit hypocritical, and kinda pointless. i know whoever first said "fight fire with fire" was probably trying to sound like a badass, but mimicking the absolute worst traits we see in others is not even remotely productive, and i could honestly see keeping an attitude like that alienating a lot of trans people from the gender therapists who might otherwise help them transition...

Share this post


Link to post
Robin

The average cis individual has probably never met a trans person, and most likely hasn't given the subject a lot of thought.  The "haters" that we see in the media represent a tiny fraction of the population.  Many of those people are really just trying to make themselves popular, and their cause is just a means to an end.

 

The religious fanatics are far more scared of us than we are of them.  This is because we just see them as people, but they have been taught that we are demons, with the ability to destroy civilisation.  Their leaders want them to believe that, in order to have control over them, as I mentioned in an earlier post.

 

Most ordinary people are friendly, if you are pleasant to them. 

 

Robin.

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 10 Guests (See full list)

    • MicahKj
    • JFK
  • Who Was Online

    99 Users were Online in the Last 48 Hours
    • MicahKj
    • JFK
    • VickySGV
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Martyn
    • jae bear
    • Leo
    • Michelle F
    • Tam
    • Nickalas Tate
    • Shannon
    • RithiaAllen
    • Ashlee
    • Willa
    • ChickenLittle
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
    • ShipwreckedGirl
    • CallMeKai
    • Lane
    • FalknerNessa98
    • Jocelyn
    • Susan
    • Sara w
    • MaryEllen
    • kelseyn
    • MaryMary
    • Jani
    • Dev
    • Cluck1992
    • dinoduck
    • KymmieL
    • Alexander003
    • Cyndee
    • hmillerrr
    • Briana
    • Kirsten
    • Zalid
    • JJ
    • SeekingSadie
    • Ronin82
    • MarcieMarie12
    • Ivyblossom
    • KC
    • Willow421
    • SandraBear
    • Arya
    • Cloee
    • nitehwk
    • Samsara
    • Jennifer T
    • Katy Ann
    • Terry
    • Amy LeBlanc
    • Jennifer75
    • Snow Princess Sophie
    • pulson
    • Dakota16
    • Zedarius
    • MelissaAndProudOfIt
    • Petra Jane
    • BrandiBri
    • NewLife336
    • J_Perra
    • Timber Wolf
    • Torturedlife
    • Luci
    • KeiraC
    • Willow
    • Annabelle
    • Charlize
    • My name isn’t Megan
    • Grwl
    • tracy_j
    • Rebecca Lynn
    • Sharon Aml
    • Cheyenne skye
    • Susan R
    • Bree/Rain
    • Janeshannon
    • SugarMagnolia
    • L0gan
    • Jennifer123
    • Emillie Lane
    • Josh Johnson
    • Heather L
    • Adaline
    • AsTheCrow
    • Bad
    • Atyra
    • Jackie C.
    • Rowan
    • Kylie Rey
    • AyameExGoddess
    • BrookeBird28
    • Elyssia
    • Dani1
    • Mickey
    • Miss Linnea
    • Wrightful
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      66,767
    • Total Posts
      604,139
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      4,265
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Nickalas Tate
    Newest Member
    Nickalas Tate
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    No users celebrating today
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      I have had a couple of super high readings several years ago, and they went down after a seeming peak at one point.  My endo went so far as to see if the Lab had had problems because it fell like a rock in a week.  Other than lab error the real reason was never determined.  Sorry to say.
    • Carolyn Marie
      Follow-up: Detroit PD and prosecutors have arrested and charged a suspect in this crime.  A motive was not divulged.   Kudos to Detroit PD for the quick work on this case.   https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/detroit-city/2018/12/10/charges-filed-slain-detroit-transgender-woman/2273251002/   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      First off, i want to assure everyone that I have talked to my endo about this, and she is concerned and pro-active, and I feel confident that she knows what's up.  Just the same, I'm curious if anyone has had experience with this rather, um, unusual problem.   I had what should have been routine blood tests for T and E, as well as sex hormone biding serum globulin.  Well, the results were startling; the SHBSG was almost three times the highest range figure, and the estradiol LC/MS was also three times higher than the reference range high point.   I've been on HRT for nearly 8 years, and this test, and the one 6 months ago, are the first to show that kind of result.  The doctor asked me to stop the estradiol for a week and get retested.  If it doesn't go back to something approaching the normal range, the doc is going to start looking for reasons why my body is producing that much excess estrogen. The risk of not getting it under control is obvious; much higher risks for DVT's and damage to my thyroid gland.   So, anyone have results like that, and if so, what was the cause?  Thanks, gang.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      https://www.churchofengland.org/more/media-centre/news/guidance-gender-transition-services-published?fbclid=IwAR1jfsXtNmMDtLeMy7_849ANySTv6crw33Q2yrn_yNL5P7f1n0OUhmuk7nY   In the U.S. the Episcopal Church, which has ties to the Church of England has similar rites for Trans people.  I am an Episcopalian and have undergone this experience.
    • Sandra6sandy9sand
      I think this is a good idea.  I really appreciate the hard work that goes into keeping us safe.   Sandra
    • ShipwreckedGirl
      I totally agree...it's a haunting, beautiful trailer. And Daniela is beautiful too. Orlando...no...
    • CallMeKai
      Guys I just ordered my first binder and I am super excited!!! There are a couple small details that I am worried about but I don't want to think of those right now 😁
    • RithiaAllen
      Thanks. That is the result of several years of training maybe more if you consider the four years of Clearanet playing in middle school and high school.
    • Jani
      Very good!!!  Have fun. 
    • Jani
      Well you could certainly order on-line.  JC Penney currently has some great prices on jeans, then add in a discount!   I like to try things on in the store but finding jeans (tall) can be hard when I look for something specific.  But this time I knew what size I needed so I ordered a few pairs.  Use the Size charts and read the comments to assess if they run large, small or true to size.  Use your hip measurement rather than waist to determine the size to order.      The other place is to look at thrift shops (not consignment, they can be pricey) or Goodwill.   I find a lot of neat things.     As to Undies, just go to Walmart or Target.  No one will care and you can get what you need.     
    • Shannon
      Thank you for your responses. Any suggestions on my current clothing issue?  
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Shannon.  I agree with colleagues re. your post.  Getting totally absorbed with being female and feminine is something most of us have gone through.  It can be wonderful to explore all the aspects of being a woman.  But it is best to take things one step at a time.  It is a marathon, not a sprint race.   Please have a look around the forums and comment or ask questions wherever you find an interest.  We're here to help.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • kelseyn
      Her story is like mine and had no regrets with her transition.She was lucky,had support from her two older brothers whom are still in her life.Mom had a tough time with it at first and her mom came around.Her dad was the with  her mom.We have a great friendship starting and invited me to go out with a couple of her friends Friday night whom are also transgendered.I said yes to it
    • Jani
      Sadie soon enough things will calm down in your head and life will get to a point of normalcy.  Trust me, you'll get there.   
    • Kirsten
      Yeah. People do definitely get sick of the adult teenager.  🤣 but I think it’s important for us all to do. You have to get it out of your system. And learn what’s good and bad for you. Nothing like squeezing a lifetime of learning into a couple years! 
  • Upcoming Events

×