Whats the best label for me?

[ashly87]

I’m curious about labels. I’m a fan of labels. I feel like they help give you the words you need to help explain to yourself and to others who you are and how you feel. I’m looking for a label that accurately describes me. It’s kind of confusing because when talking about gender, most people are referring to gender identity and not necessarily gender expression. For me, my gender expression is the reason I am transitioning, not my gender identity.  

 

My sex assigned at birth and my gender identity match each other as both are female but my gender expression leans heavily on the masculine side. I’ve identified as female my whole life and still do for the most part but, for example, using the word “woman” to describe myself makes me uncomfortable so I don’t fully identify with the female identity in the most perfect way. I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body, but I know I’m in the wrong body if I want to be comfortable and be myself. I can’t just be a female who dresses in men’s clothing. It makes me too uncomfortable and I’m not happy with the way it looks on me. This is why I am transitioning to male so my body will match my gender expression and I can finally wear the male clothes and hairstyles I identify with. I feel like this is my best option because no matter what I do, my gender identity and gender expression will never match each other so I have to pick which body I would be the most comfortable in.

 

The label I am currently using is “gender-nonconforming cisgender female who is taking testosterone so that my body will match my gender expression”. It is super long and might not even make total sense haha. I was wondering if anyone had any other labels or ideas that would fit my situation better than the label I have come up with. I know labels are not really what’s important but I am curious if they are specific terms that would sum up the way I feel better than the wording I am currently using.

[VickySGV]

Non Binary, or as some of my younger friends do it, an Enby. 

[hmillerrr]

I feel similar in sO manY aspects as far as expression (although I don't consider myself a cis female) and honestly as simple as this sounds just explore. Baby steps turn into to big ones when they carry a lot of weight. Personally I went by different pronouns and while it's the first step in transitioning for most ppl; it was HUGE for me. It opened so many doors for me. Take your time there's no need to open any doors because believe it or not you seem pretty self assured (and no I don't meant to tell u how you're feeling) i guess I would just say use that to your advantage...while you may be a little unsteady about it you're label is YOU not a multiple choice question you have to choose from ya know? ?

best of luck to you 

-Trevor

[Terry]

I don't like labels, because most people don't even know simple ones, like non-binary. So you end up having to explain much more than you would without using a label.

 

Personally I focus on what I need to do to feel most comfortable instead. Gender is also one of a few topics I never talk about unless explicitly asked, and depending on the level of trust I might refuse to answer even then.

 

If you absolutely need a label, how about demi-girl? It seems to come close to what you describe in my understanding.

[MarcieMarie12]

What I learned was that in the end the label was not important. It distracted me from being honest with myself as put me under some pressure to conform to the label. I would have had fewer issues if I had just taken a piecemeal approach and did not worry about my label.

[jo jo]

labels are for tins and packaging not humans!!!! you are who or how you feel not as you have been so called labelled

[AsTheCrow]

Finding one's own labels can be a fun and informative project! I think gender-nonconforming ciswoman sounds pretty accurate, but your labels are your own to find and create.

 

But I get where you're coming from! Several years ago I decided it would be fun to hyperanalyze myself and select labels as 'accurately' as possible. I think at the time I ended up with "voluntarily celibate homoromantic mostly-gay pansexual gender-nonconforming cisgender male".

 

I guess if I were to play that game right now I would say I'm a "voluntarily celibate androromantic mostly-gay pansexual nonbinary male transwoman." Wonder what I'll be in a few more years!

 

Anyway. If you like applying labels for yourself, have fun with it! I think most objections to the idea of 'labels' lie in people labeling each other, which I agree is undesirable. Don't let them spoil your self-exploratory fun!

[ashly87]

Thanks for your responses. The demigirl label seems interesting. I guess the thing that is most confusing me is how it seems I am cisgender but still kind of falling under the transgender umbrella in a way because of the gender non-conforming and the fact that I will be starting hormones soon. So it almost feels as if I am a part of two opposite things at the same time which is so confusing.

 

In the future, I’ll probably be less worried about labels. I guess I’m just at that stage where I want to have the ability to describe myself to others in the simplest way possible so they might be able to understand it. I tried to explain it to my mom recently and she didn’t really get it. It’s definitely hard to put my situation into words for people who are unfamiliar with it.