Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am I alone in being this way ?


Recommended Posts

Just now, Martyn said:

Yes it is but I don’t feel comfortable, I need to meet other non binary people not trans.

 

To be a porter I need to clear the majority of my debts, I’m at my limit now so cannot get any further credit for a home of any decription.

unless the family home is sold I am unable to afford to rent or buy, I can’t stay with my parents long term so I’ve no idea what the future holds, this another reason I want out, I have £50,000 life cover which would settle my debts and allow my wife and son to move on with their lives.

They are going to move on with or without you or your money.

 

If you have a suicide clause in your insurance your family will see none of the money. Not the least of which suicide is a cardinal sin.

 

one person who is in for tens of thousands of dollars to another you can recover without such drastic actions. I was furloughed, couldn’t afford her for a year. I’ve been away from my boyfriend since June with only text messages, phone calls and face time as our ability to talk. I’ve lived in a crappy hotel room for a month, then found a room at a house with a land lord doing a sort of birding house and then finally found a apartment that would rent to me that was in a safe area and clean. Soon our house in Virginia will be sold and it will pay off my debts and get us free of enough issues to buy a new place here or rent whatever we want.

 

If I could claw my way out of the mess so can you.

 

trans people from both ends of the spectrum can still provide some feedback for certain things. I’m sure there is some sort of non-binary group around your area where you can find addiontional guidance.

 

Do you have the tenacity and the strength to push forward and offer more then just a little bit of money to your family? I think you can.?

Link to comment
  • Replies 108
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Martyn

    46

  • RithiaAllen

    18

  • Jani

    11

  • jae bear

    10

Just now, RithiaAllen said:

 

Do you have the tenacity and the strength to push forward and offer more then just a little bit of money to your family? I think you can.?

If I’m honest it’s a straight forward no, I’m done

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

If I’m honest it’s a straight forward no, I’m done

I think you do. You're not done.

 

Below are some numbers you can reach out to. Please promise me you will call.

 

99 and 112 is the national emergency number in the United Kingdom

111, Option 2, is the National Health Services' First Response Service for mental health crises and support.

Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/) is a registered charity aimed at providing emotional support to anyone in distress or at risk of suicide throughout the United Kingdom.[19] They provide a 24/7, toll-free crisis line, as well as local branches.

Samaritans Helpline can be reached at 116 123.

Samaritans' previous hotline number, 08457 90 90 90, is no longer in use. Calling this line may result in charges for call forwarding.

Campaign Against Living Miserably (https://www.thecalmzone.net/) is a registered charity[20] based in England. It was launched in March 2006 as a campaign aimed at bringing the suicide rate down among men aged 15–35.[21] It has a limited-hour phone and webchat options.

CALM (Nationwide) can be reached at 58 58 58 0800 58 58 58 (available every day from 5PM to midnight).

CALM (London) can be reached at 802 58 58 0808 802 58 58 (available every day from 5PM to midnight).

CALM webchat can be found at https://www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/ (available every day from 5PM to midnight).

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

I realise there are people to talk to, still doesn’t change anything tho 

It changes a lot.

 

You think there is only one way. Others who have gone through what you are going through can give you first hand guidance. In regards to you family, job and debt situation pretty much anyone suffering from GID on any band of the spectrum can relate. Maybe some in the area might also know of a safe house for you to stay long term while you consolidate your expenses in order to get your head above water.

 

Who knows what is out there. Take a deep breath, be calm and reach out.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

It changes a lot.

 

You think there is only one way. Others who have gone through what you are going through can give you first hand guidance. In regards to you family, job and debt situation pretty much anyone suffering from GID on any band of the spectrum can relate. Maybe some in the area might also know of a safe house for you to stay long term while you consolidate your expenses in order to get your head above water.

 

Who knows what is out there. Take a deep breath, be calm and reach out.

I think what angers me tho is I’ve been forced out of the family home, no where to go except my elderly I’ll parents and still pay the marital home bills, my wife and son enjoying our lovely little home whereas I have nothing, then if my wife someone else I shall be so distraught that I know mentally I wouldn’t be able to cope at all - this is playing on my mind a great deal

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

I think what angers me tho is I’ve been forced out of the family home, no where to go except my elderly I’ll parents and still pay the marital home bills, my wife and son enjoying our lovely little home whereas I have nothing, then if my wife someone else I shall be so distraught that I know mentally I wouldn’t be able to cope at all - this is playing on my mind a great deal

Anger can be a good emotion if responded to properly. It’s ok to be mad. It means that your alive and a emotional being. Just don’t do anything you’ll regret.

 

You two are still married right? Separated isn’t divorced and seeing other people is cheating. Now you have a choice. You can divorce her and force the issue of selling the home which will help you and your family to love on. If she is seeing other people while your married still then she I would think would be entitled to nothing since she was unfaithful.

 

Another thing you could do while staying with your parents is use it as an opportunity to help take care of them when you have the time.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

Anger can be a good emotion if responded to properly. It’s ok to be mad. It means that your alive and a emotional being. Just don’t do anything you’ll regret.

 

You two are still married right? Separated isn’t divorced and seeing other people is cheating. Now you have a choice. You can divorce her and force the issue of selling the home which will help you and your family to love on. If she is seeing other people while your married still then she I would think would be entitled to nothing since she was unfaithful.

 

Another thing you could do while staying with your parents is use it as an opportunity to help take care of them when you have the time.

excuse me love on was supposed to read move on.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

Separated isn’t divorced and seeing other people is cheating. Now you have a choice. You can divorce her and force the issue of selling the home which will help you and your family to love on. If she is seeing other people while your married still then she I would think would be entitled to nothing since she was unfaithful.

 

Another thing you could do while staying with your parents is use it as an opportunity to help take care of wthem when you have the time.

She’s told me many many many times we are over, no going back are her words - so it seems I’m just teasing myself that I could ever return to the marriage.

It is so far from nature to force them out of the house, it’s only a small one, our pets would have to be rehomed as they couldn’t go in a small flat as that is all either of us could afford.

i know this will sound uncaring but over the years my parents have never really got on with my wife, I just feel agrreved that I’m now in this position that I feel compelled to look after them, to be fair they have offered to let stay here but know of course I don’t want to be here

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

She’s told me many many many times we are over, no going back are her words - so it seems I’m just teasing myself that I could ever return to the marriage.

It is so far from nature to force them out of the house, it’s only a small one, our pets would have to be rehomed as they couldn’t go in a small flat as that is all either of us could afford.

i know this will sound uncaring but over the years my parents have never really got on with my wife, I just feel agrreved that I’m now in this position that I feel compelled to look after them, to be fair they have offered to let stay here but know of course I don’t want to be here

I don't know what I would do personally. However if after 19 years she wanted me out I think I would have got her suitcase out and say pack your things and go if you want out there is the door. It's the same thing I would do to my kid if they said they wanted to run away.

 

Right now she has her cake and is eating it too. You bust your butt and she reaps the rewards and you are living with your parents. You have got to be mad at the situation of after 19 years and then being abandoned over very tame shirts by someone who made vows to you in front of god and country.

 

I'd force the sale of the house in a New York minute and take steps to ensure the pets came with me if I wanted them.

 

What I said before about creating a new place for them to come back if they wanted to was simply taking the other place away and then like the father with the prodigal son, make a place for them to return. If they want to come back they can on your terms and if not they can enjoy the cold. I know that sounds harsh but to be a father figure you will have to be stern and show them honor, integrity, mercy and most of all that you're not a push over.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

I don't know what I would do personally. However if after 19 years she wanted me out I think I would have got her suitcase out and say pack your things and go if you want out there is the door. It's the same thing I would do to my kid if they said they wanted to run away.

 

Right now she has her cake and is eating it too. You bust your butt and she reaps the rewards and you are living with your parents. You have got to be mad at the situation of after 19 years and then being abandoned over very tame shirts by someone who made vows to you in front of god and country.

 

I'd force the sale of the house in a New York minute and take steps to ensure the pets came with me if I wanted them.

 

What I said before about creating a new place for them to come back if they wanted to was simply taking the other place away and then like the father with the prodigal son, make a place for them to return. If they want to come back they can on your terms and if not they can enjoy the cold. I know that sounds harsh but to be a father figure you will have to be stern and show them honor, integrity, mercy and most of all that you're not a push over.

The cause of her distress was me unintentionally wearing her down over the years with the business, then more recently my obsession about being non binary and the steps I wished to take which she and our son were finding impossible to accept but I still continued and ignored their feelings, in hindsight I should have taken things much slower but got caught up in the excitement of discovering myself. On the day itself I was bombarded by abuse and full on anger from them both ,they wanted me out no matter what.

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

The cause of her distress was me unintentionally wearing her down over the years with the business, then more recently my obsession about being non binary and the steps I wished to take which she and our son were finding impossible to accept but I still continued and ignored their feelings, in hindsight I should have taken things much slower but got caught up in the excitement of discovering myself. On the day itself I was bombarded by abuse and full on anger from them both ,they wanted me out no matter what.

With regards to the pets, neither of us could keep them due to the proceeds of the sale only allowing a small flat each with a mortgage as well

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

The cause of her distress was me unintentionally wearing her down over the years with the business, then more recently my obsession about being non binary and the steps I wished to take which she and our son were finding impossible to accept but I still continued and ignored their feelings, in hindsight I should have taken things much slower but got caught up in the excitement of discovering myself. On the day itself I was bombarded by abuse and full on anger from them both ,they wanted me out no matter what.

The business you did everything you could. Part of the wedding vows are in richness and in poor. You where not gambling, you where not embezzling. Do not allow her to blame you for that.

 

The non-binary aspect seems to be a excuse made by them to get out because of the money issues. You shaved your body hair off and you wore as gender neutral cloths as you could find from what I understand. In all honesty that is taking things really slow. When I first started coming out I mixed gender neutral cloths too.

 

I had a nice pair of woman's kakis that I wore with nice collared men's shirts. I had a nice over shirt I left unbuttoned that wasn't frilly and between the three items of cloths two where woman's with men's shoes and no one batted an eye.

 

Don't blame yourself. It sounds to me like your wife was looking for a way out and latched onto this way. Sell the house move on and give her only what you legally have to.

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

With regards to the pets, neither of us could keep them due to the proceeds of the sale only allowing a small flat each with a mortgage as well

What type of pets do you have? Would you have at least 46.5 square meters? If so I would imagine small dogs and cats wouldn't be an issue. My apartment allows them. Now if you mean large breed dogs that might be more problematic but I've seen places where it is doable.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

 

The non-binary aspect seems to be a excuse made by them to get out because of the money issues. You shaved your body hair off and you wore as gender neutral cloths as you could find from what I understand. In all honesty that is taking things really slow. When I first started coming out I mixed gender neutral cloths too.

 

Don't blame yourself. It sounds to me like your wife was looking for a way out and latched onto this way. Sell the house move on and give her only what you legally have to.

If I’m honest I mostly agree with you, tho I have banged on 24/7 about the NB for a fair few months and didn’t want to listen to their concerns or dislike of what I was wanting to achieve.

the more I think about it it has been a very vanilla marriage esp with my ed issues, all I ever wanted to do was passionately make love with her but it was almost impossible due to my problem. I had just started using penile injections just prior to things deteriorating, that was the first real time in all our marriege that we made love properly, unfortunately it did hurt her as her insides were not used to it :0( I feel extremely upset and distraught that there will never be another time now. I think I’m holding on with finger nails hoping there’s a way of turning all this around, I so wish we could, I would bury my nb issues in a heart beat if it could be resolved.

im thinking perhaps give it a few months by then my son would be over 18, which would allow her to get her health back as she’s on antidepressants due to our issues. Then ask her if she ever sees the change of us getting back together? If not, which is most likely then push for the home to be sold.

its two cats, problem around here tho flats stipulate no pets, it just feels so heartless to re home them as they’ve been with us for many years and are genuinely part of the family

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

If I’m honest I mostly agree with you, tho I have banged on 24/7 about the NB for a fair few months and didn’t want to listen to their concerns or dislike of what I was wanting to achieve.

the more I think about it it has been a very vanilla marriage esp with my ed issues, all I ever wanted to do was passionately make love with her but it was almost impossible due to my problem. I had just started using penile injections just prior to things deteriorating, that was the first real time in all our marriege that we made love properly, unfortunately it did hurt her as her insides were not used to it :0( I feel extremely upset and distraught that there will never be another time now. I think I’m holding on with finger nails hoping there’s a way of turning all this around, I so wish we could, I would bury my nb issues in a heart beat if it could be resolved.

im thinking perhaps give it a few months by then my son would be over 18, which would allow her to get her health back as she’s on antidepressants due to our issues. Then ask her if she ever sees the change of us getting back together? If not, which is most likely then push for the home to be sold.

its two cats, problem around here tho flats stipulate no pets, it just feels so heartless to re home them as they’ve been with us for many years and are genuinely part of the family

I understand completely about the pets. I had two cats for a while too, they where named Magellan and Casper. They have since passed on and my boyfriend and I have two Black Labs. I love them death and it's been hard not being able to see them everyday. I'm looking forward to getting the house sold so we can get a place over here large enough for all of us.

 

Are there no flats that you can rent that allow cats? Do you own the workshop or does the lease there permit cats?  Perhaps they could be employees and hunt mice and provide companionship while you are working until you can find a place to keep them at you or your wifes new place?

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

I understand completely about the pets. I had two cats for a while too, they where named Magellan and Casper. They have since passed on and my boyfriend and I have two Black Labs. I love them death and it's been hard not being able to see them everyday. I'm looking forward to getting the house sold so we can get a place over here large enough for all of us.

 

Are there no flats that you can rent that allow cats? Do you own the workshop or does the lease there permit cats?  Perhaps they could be employees and hunt mice and provide companionship while you are working until you can find a place to keep them at you or your wifes new place?

Sadly it’s not that kind of workshop, industrial unit with fumes about

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

Sadly it’s not that kind of workshop, industrial unit with fumes about

Another option is you don't force the sale yet like you where saying your son will be 18 soon. Until then use the time to look around for a place that will allow you to have two cats and apply for the rental. Then force the sale of the house or ask you wife to take over the mortgage and buy you out and she can keep the cats.

 

I like your plan for giving her some time to see if things can be reconciled.

Link to comment
Just now, RithiaAllen said:

 

I like your plan for giving her some time to see if things can be reconciled.

In reality I think it’s unlikly it could be due to the continual ‘it’s over for good,  no going back’ comments that have been rammed down my throat. I’m desperate to have her back and can’t believe all this has happened, it didn’t help that our son was backing up his mum and forcing me to go

Link to comment
Just now, Martyn said:

In reality I think it’s unlikly it could be due to the continual ‘it’s over for good,  no going back’ comments that have been rammed down my throat. I’m desperate to have her back and can’t believe all this has happened, it didn’t help that our son was backing up his mum and forcing me to go

One thing at a time. Her living situation being for the worse or even the threat might make her reevaluate. Right now it is easy for her to say for good when she keeps the house and the comfort.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
4 hours ago, Martyn said:

I realise there are people to talk to, still doesn’t change anything tho 

As Rithia said you are looking at this only one way, when there are many ways to see this issue.

 

If you are upset because you have left the home yet still have to pay the bills while your wife "enjoys" the home, sometimes that is the price we pay.  You can work around this.  Talk to a lawyer to determine your rights.   

 

You could move back saying you cannot afford to maintain a separate residence.  Sleep in a spare room or on the sofa.  Do whatever is necessary until you can both come to an agreement about the future.

 

3 hours ago, Martyn said:

She’s told me many many many times we are over, no going back are her words

Its been said when someone tells you something, believe them the first time.  Don't keep going back over the same ground.  You've said this has been her position from the onset so it's not going to change.   Of course all this conjecture sounds unnatural to you because it has never entered your mind, but this is what happens when one party to a marriage decides they want out.  Does she think she will "get" the house and enough compensation from you to support it?  Again, talk to a lawyer!  You are not so old as to not be able to re-establish yourself.  

 

2 hours ago, Martyn said:

I’m desperate to have her back and can’t believe all this has happened

Martyn, your wife seems to have made things clear.  Stop with being desperate.  You are not desperate.  Start looking foward to your future.  It will get better.  Ask yourself, have you been really happy recently?  From what I've read the answer is certainly not.  Do yourself a favor, your wife seems to have latched on to this issue as a way out, join her in moving on to a better life.  Complaining won't change anything.  Take some action for your own good. 

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Martyn,

 I can sympathize with you in every possible way, I’m just a lot farther down the road than you are right now, I hate to say this, because right now you don’t want to hear it, but it’s all going to work out even if it’s not the way you want it to. The business isn’t doing well, maybe holding onto a sinking ship isn’t exactly the best thing To do right now. Spending your time hunting for that hospital Porter job would be a good use of your time right now, then liquidating the company assets later or just letting them go to expedite things is also an option... Finding someone who wants to take it over and assume some of the debt could be reasonable. At the end of the day it’s important that you find a way to move forward, quickly, busy your mind with the things that need to be done rather than the things that cannot be changed right now...

 It’s taken me months to rid myself of the guilt, but you would be doing better than I if you could do that sooner rather than later, there are new ways to show love for your family even if they are being terrible to you at the moment. Moving forward in a way that will allow them some small amount of support from you is showing love, however I guarantee  you if you end things they get nothing from the insurance, and their anger and hatred will set in like drying paint and they will carry that to the last breath they have on earth,  especially your son. Why do I know this? Well Martyn I will tell you, because my father committed suicide for this exact reason, I lost my father because he could not deal with being trans, my mother divorced him, he moved out and found his own place, ruined his teaching job and then killed himself, I’ve only recently Forgiven him Because I finally accepted myself as trans,  and for no other reason. 

 Your business is not the most important thing in the world, I know you built it, and I know it’s important to you, but a better paying job would be better than hanging on to something you built that is not bringing you an income. It’s OK to let it go,  in the long run you may be better for it. 

Please understand all of the things I say I say because I care, because I have already been there, I don’t tell everything about my life here on this forum, but there are those here who know precisely how similar the two of us are. That being said, Martyn, you’re going to be OK, it’s going to get better.

 Hugs, 

Jackie

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Forum Moderator

Martyn, how's it going?  Just checking in with you since we hadn't heard much recently.  We all want the best for you and we understand the situation you're in is difficult.  

 

Hugs, Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hello Martyn, that makes two of us that have had you on our mind.  I was scanning through the recent posts and just noticed Jani's new post so I thought maybe you had given us an update.  If you have some time and feel like sharing, I too would like to know how you are doing and if there have been any changes in your situation.

 

With Warm Regards,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaryEllen
    • April Marie
    • MomTGDaughter
    • Betty K
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,015
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...