Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Today is the big day.


Mickey

Recommended Posts

So after almost 4 years worth of fighting, the big day is finally here. My friend is picking me up about 11:15 so we can meet another friend at the surgery center. I check in at 12:30, and the surgery will be about 2, lasting about an hour. I've no idea how long recovery will be. My first check up with the Dr is 3 weeks from today.

I did have a bit of a shock when a lady from the Dr's office called me earlier this week. I was under the impression that my insurance would be covering the whole thing. I mean, I am dirt poor after all. But apparently not. I am responsible for 10%, which comes out to $350 and some change. I was a little upset and figured I would have to make arrangements to pay $5 a month.  I posted on Facebook about this, and within and hour, my friends had pitched in and I had almost $500. And 1 friend gave me $350 for this. I have also had friends give of themselves, which I value much mroe than money. One is picking me up, waiting at the surgery center, and then taking me back home. Another friend is driving in from Jackson Tennessee, I'm in Memphis. She's gonna be my nurse for a little while. Another friend is cooking some meals for me, while I'm in recovery. They came by last night and dropped off a few meals to get me through tomorrow. And other friends have given so much emotional support.

 

I am happy this day is finally here. And I am looking forward to living my life, more comfortably.

Link to comment
4 minutes ago, Amy LeBlanc said:

Congrats on your surgery coming up.  Which surgery are you getting?  

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

A bi-lateral orchiectomy with scrotaplasty. This Dr asked me if I wanted him to do the scrotaplasty "...So things will lay flatter." And he asked before I could even mention it.

At this point, I am just trying to not think about how hungry I am.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations Mickey!   You are so blessed to have so many good friends who care for you.   I'll be thinking of you today.  Let us know how you are when you get a moment.  

 

Cheers, Jani

Link to comment

Well, today was a huge disappointment. I made it all the way to the bed and surgical gown, with the IV in my arm, when the anesthesiologist comes in. The nurse had noticed some slight  in my lower legs. And then this anesthesiologist comes in and as we're talking he checks my legs. He finished and moved his hand to the inside of my mid thigh. And left it there while we talked. Then told the urologist that he wasn't putting me to sleep because of the edema. THAT WASN'T EVEN BAD AT ALL. He was a total jerk to me, constantly asking me if I had congestive heart failure, the NOT listening to me when I told him NO. And that my heart Dr has said multiple times that I have a healthy heart. So surgery was cancelled. So I am mad as hell and extremely disappointed.

Link to comment

I am really sorry to hear that. I can't blame you for feeling that way. I would most likely would be even more upset and mad that you would not want to be around me. I hope you can get it done very soon. Take care and let us know what happens. Hugs! Susan

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm sorry to hear this.  Have they given you a plan of action for "recovery" and a reschedule?

 

Jani

Link to comment

I have some calls to make this morning. First to my heart Dr, so they can send a letter stating that my heart is healthy. Second to my urologists office to reschedule the surgery. And this time, the same anesthesiologist will NOT be involved. I also need to find out who I can make a complaint with, against the anesthesiologist for inappropriately touching me, and making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Link to comment

Hey there. I would be calling a lawyer that deals with that kind of thing. I am not sure what area that falls under but I am sure there is one there. I don't blame you for how you are feeling but Jeff's a positive attitude and keep up on everyone that needs to be involved. Sounds like your doctor and others are behind you! You in girl!!! Hope this helps. Susan

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
20 hours ago, Mickey said:

 I also need to find out who I can make a complaint with, against the anesthesiologist for inappropriately touching me, and making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

 

I do wonder about the touching. I am not a doctor so couldn't say for certain, but as there was a possible circulatory issue could he have just been checking a femoral pulse? I think you should ask for an explanation, but it does seem that it may well be innocent to me. Particularly as it sounds like you were not alone together. As I say, I am not medically qualified, and was not there but it is easy to check.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
1 hour ago, tracy_j said:

 

I do wonder about the touching. I am not a doctor so couldn't say for certain, but as there was a possible circulatory issue could he have just been checking a femoral pulse? I think you should ask for an explanation, but it does seem that it may well be innocent to me. Particularly as it sounds like you were not alone together. As I say, I am not medically qualified, and was not there but it is easy to check.

 

Tracy

When Drs are checking for a pulse, don't they normally use their fingers? He had his whole hand on the inside of my thigh, almost midway up it. The whole thing just felt... off. Wrong. Very uncomfortable.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'm sorry you are going through this Mickey.  I had trouble getting clearance for surgery due to cardiac issues.  Often the problem is due to potential problems with anesthesia.  They decided to do the procedure under local but because i was talking so much i was eventually put under.  i guess being a chatty Cathy made me even more comfortable in the end.  I can understand your frustration.  Try to take a deep breath and do whatever it takes to reschedule your surgery.

I would let the "hand" issue drop just because you've got plenty on your plate already.

If it helps any i had a similar surgery and am happy with the results.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment

Hi Mickey,

 

I can certainly understand your frustration.   That has to be a total let-down.   Hopefully you can get things rescheduled quickly. 

 

While you may have thought the swelling was "not that bad" in your legs, any swelling would be something to note and consider preop/pre-anesthesia.  While the anesthesiologist may have been overly cautious, he's also keeping your safety in mind.  Anesthesia can take a left turn very quickly.  People tend to think that surgery is very exciting as it's portrayed on TV - constant motion and drama.  Generally it's hours of routine boredom punctuated occasionally by a few moments of sheer terror.  That "terror" is generally when people have an unexpected bad reaction to the anesthesia. 

 

Best of luck!

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I would always prefer they err on the side of caution.  Years ago a guy I worked with had shoulder surgery and never came out of the anesthesia.  He was young and healthy.  it was so sad.  We never know how our bodies will react to it.   You'll be fine and your day will come. 

 

Jani

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
22 hours ago, Mickey said:

When Drs are checking for a pulse, don't they normally use their fingers? He had his whole hand on the inside of my thigh, almost midway up it. The whole thing just felt... off. Wrong. Very uncomfortable.

 

As I said, I am not a doctor. I have worked extensively in a medical field though and have seen doctors checking patients often. Obviously I could be wrong, but it sounds fairly normal to me. There are many clues an experienced doctor can pickup from seemingly odd procedures. I could attempt to explain about  swellings and temperature differences etc but I am not qualified to. Personally I would just let it go.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
On 9/22/2018 at 12:16 AM, Mickey said:

And that my heart Dr has said multiple times that I have a healthy heart.

I guess this could be a bit more clear. I saw my heart Dr a couple of months ago. I want to say in July. Maybe June. Anyway, when I saw my heart Dr last, he said my heart was healthy. The same thing he has been saying every 6 months, since 2013. I know what congestive heart failure looks like. One of my dearest friends had it, when we first met. Then she had heart surgery and is doing and looking much better. I can say with utmost confidence, I DO NOT have congestive heart failure. The anesthesiologist was a complete jerk. And that is putting it mildly and politely, for the sake of this forum.


I know y'all think that this is support, trying to convince me that this man did the right thing, but you are wrong. I know me. I know my body. And I have been fighting for this procedure for FOUR years now. And it has truly been a fight. The first year I was fighting with my insurance company. And unbeknownst to me, my Urologist at the time. Ever since it was approved by my insurance company, I've been fighting systemic transphobia among Drs and hospital surgical centers. While my new Urologist, I feel, is on my side and willing to help, that does NOT mean that his whole team is also on my side and willing to help.

 

And I find myself wondering if you're really suggesting that what I consider to be sexual assault, that I just let it go? Really?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

You go with what you feel is right. We are not there and can only advise on our experiences. As I said, 'I could be wrong'. My suggestion to let it go was more about you getting to where you want to be rather than getting into a complex (essentially) side issue of mis-conduct which may delay that.

 

Tracy

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 112 Guests (See full list)

    • Birdie
    • Maddee
    • April Marie
    • KathyLauren
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaeBe
    • Mmindy
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,008
    • Most Online
      8,356

    BeautifulMistake
    Newest Member
    BeautifulMistake
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alik222
      Alik222
      (24 years old)
    2. AvaWill
      AvaWill
      (37 years old)
    3. Drewies
      Drewies
      (50 years old)
    4. JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      (28 years old)
    5. jgram22
      jgram22
      (37 years old)
  • Posts

    • Adrianna Danielle
      Was excited today,my new toolbox has been shipped out,Snap On dealer told me this.It took this long since it was ordered to get it.My other co workers and I were right about the new employee that started yesterday,He was fired this afternoon.Was on his phone again and boss caught him do it.Plus he did call me an offensive word,the C word my boss hates.I did report that to my boss.My boss believes in treating women right
    • Sally Stone
      ss,   I can't say that my image in the mirror has helped me understand why I am bi-gender.  I'm pretty certain the reason I identify as bi-gender  has to do with how I feel inside.  About mirrors though, I do clearly see my inner woman when I look at myself in the mirror.  
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The tornado called Taylor ripped through Bob's apartment. After a trip to a laundromat, two trips to grocery stores for cleaning supplies and what Taylor opined were Basic Staples, everything was scrubbed within an inch of its life.  A new dish  drainer with a new hand towel and dish cloth were by the side of the scrubbed out sink; motorcycle parts were in a box under the newly made bed.  Floor, shower, toilet, sink had been hit in the bathroom and new towels hung there the way Taylor liked them. "I don't recognize the place/" "So move out." Taylor was sitting on one of the new kitchen chairs.  There were four of them around the little wooden table.  In the middle was a flower arrangement.  Bob had made his last trip to the dumpster.  Not a pizza box remained. A row of card board boxes with books had been replaced by shelves full of neatly arranged books. "Look at this." "I am not going to do this all the time.  You clean your own place from now on. I am bushed." "Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. "What's the matter?" "I am pretty touchy." "Okay.  Untie the straps in front and tie them the other way, like mine." "I don't have a belt." "There. That is right. You will get a belt after three months and passing tests on kata, kumite and karate knowledge." "I don't know what that is." "And we touch a lot here.  Not romantically. You see how Sensei Bob is going around and adjusting people's stances and arm locations." "Yes, I see that." No enthusiasm. "You are Sensei Bob's girl, right?" "Yes.  What is important to him is important to me, so here I am."  He wished her well and told her to go see Margie, who handled registration at the little table. "Hi, I heard about you." Margie began. "What does that mean?" "It means we treat everyone here with respect.  That was the wrong way to start." "I'll say. Try again." "Good morning. How can I help you?" "I want to register for the beginner class." "You are Taylor, right?" "Right." "Sensei Bob paid for your lesson today." He would. She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Getting a dog maybe next month
    • Ashley0616
      Spending time with my kids and eventually will be adopting a dog next month. 
    • KymmieL
      Well every girl needs a play toy. I just happen to have 7 of them.   My hoses finally came in. have the passenger front installed. Now trying to figure out how to do the drivers side when the tire is still on and there is no room to do it.  I'll figure sumthin out.  I is smrt.   Well have the wife home with me. She wound up falling back asleep after turning her alarm off. I woke her up at 6:20. She is due to work at 6. She decided to just call in.       MaeBe that is what this thread was started for. A chat place to share our days and thoughts for the day.   Hugs   Kymmie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...