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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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4 hours ago, NB Adult said:

TammyAnne, I'd bet that motel somehow had some parental block against adult sites. 

I was a little surprised, until I discovered TP was the only thing I couldn't access.

Then the light went on. Aha!

Oh well, I had things to share at the time, and questions to ask, but the river of time flows on washing things away.

I survived.

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Its Veterans Day and I am a vet.  Served in the Air Force from 87 to 97.  

I am proud of this.

So it really sucks to be sitting at work right now.  LOL

At least I have my coffee and My TransPulse to get me through.  

Have a wonderful day and to all the other Vets you have a super day full of gratitude and respect for serving your country.

 

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1 hour ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Its Veterans Day and I am a vet.  Served in the Air Force from 87 to 97.  

I am proud of this.

So it really sucks to be sitting at work right now.  LOL

At least I have my coffee and My TransPulse to get me through.  

Have a wonderful day and to all the other Vets you have a super day full of gratitude and respect for serving your country.

 

 

And thank you for your service!

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Not the best mental health day for me. Had the come down from the weekend, didn't sleep well and had all the annoyed feelings about what happened at work this week come back.

Ah well, power through! 

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3 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

Its Veterans Day and I am a vet.  Served in the Air Force from 87 to 97.  

I am proud of this.

So it really sucks to be sitting at work right now.  LOL

At least I have my coffee and My TransPulse to get me through.  

Have a wonderful day and to all the other Vets you have a super day full of gratitude and respect for serving your country.

 

HAppy Veterans day to you! Happy Veterans day to all the other veterans!

Thank you for your service!

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Good morning everyone! Enjoying a cloudy morning in the east county at my friends place. I’m thinking about starting a soothing fire and making coffee, but I’m too comfy at the moment to get up ?

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1 hour ago, lauraincolumbia said:

HAppy Veterans day to you! Happy Veterans day to all the other veterans!

Thank you for your service!

Thank you!  I used to have to work on Veteran's Day but at least our company (in defense business) had a recognition celebration and offered all veteran's lunch.  It was nice to recognized for our contribution.

  

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To Shawna and all our other veterans here. From one vet to all the others. Thank you for your service.

 

Actually got up early on my day off. Me and the wife went to Perkins for breakfast ( My veteran's meal) Still didn't get my discussion done with my wife on Saturday. Had to rescue her car down in CO. By the time we got home and dinner ate. My son came home early from poker. So that put a dampener on the talk.

 

Shawna, Have you gone to VA? They are a great resource for the trans veteran. Thanks to them I have my HRT. Counseling, and even Voice therapy. All at no cost to me. (70% disabled)They are totally accepting. Even to the point of able to use the bathroom of your preferred sex. Dressed or not.

 

Kymmie

 

Remember, Air Force rules. Would they trust 2/3 of the nuclear triad to anyone else. S.A.C peace is our profession. Death and destruction is just a hobby.

 

 

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1 hour ago, KymmieL said:

Shawna, Have you gone to VA? They are a great resource for the trans veteran. Thanks to them I have my HRT. Counseling, and even Voice therapy. All at no cost to me. (70% disabled)They are totally accepting. Even to the point of able to use the bathroom of your preferred sex. Dressed or not.

 

I have not gone since my wife's insurance covers all this as well without the super far drive.  LOL

I'm right in town locally.

However if things do fall apart in my marriage then I have this in my back pocket.  Though I have no disability.  My wife cares to differ on the point I'm sure.  LOL

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Well I just got some devastating news this morning. I was texted by the temp agency not to go back in tonight because apparently I was argumentative and didn’t follow instructions, but I did everything that they asked me and my supervisor even said I was doing excellent work. Everything that they threw at me I went the extra mile. I can’t afford to waste my time with this agency anymore. I obviously don’t need any coffee with this kind of news. They just don’t care how they trample all over people. 

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2 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

I have not gone since my wife's insurance covers all this as well without the super far drive.  LOL

I'm right in town locally.

However if things do fall apart in my marriage then I have this in my back pocket.  Though I have no disability.  My wife cares to differ on the point I'm sure.  LOL

Just a reminder, depending upon your classification with the VA, you may collect travel pay to and from appointments with the VA. Takes some of the sting out of the trek back and forth.

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1 hour ago, Josie Beth said:

my supervisor even said I was doing excellent work

Sorry to hear about the unfortunate news. I can’t strand it when companies do that. Say one thing then do another. Sounds like someone felt threatened by you. 

 

I hope you can find a company that can appreciate your hard work.

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Threatened by me? I felt like I was barely keeping up most days. More likely it was just someone who I never interacted with making the complaints and who had no idea the nonsense that I had to clean up every day, which when you put it in context I was doing awesome. But what really irritates me the most is the agency, who has told me several times in the past in error that I was supposed to end my contract, which turned out to be false, had the nerve to say “we’re sorry you feel that way” when I gave them examples of this disconnect in the past. How about we’re sorry? Period! Nope. They shoved it back in my lap like it’s simply a perception issue and my feelings have no basis in reality at all. So because I contacted the supervisor to verify this information, now I’m probably not going to get much work this week as punishment. I probably won’t even respond because I’m going to try the other agency nearby tomorrow. I just can’t Work tonight because my sleep and stress level are all out of wack from this turmoil.

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4 hours ago, Josie Beth said:

 I probably won’t even respond because I’m going to try the other agency nearby tomorrow. I just can’t Work tonight because my sleep and stress level are all out of wack from this turmoil.

 

Sorry about your stressful event, you probably need to put that agency in your rear view mirror!

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Jose Beth that is terrible news. Sounds like something Wally world would do. Keep your chin up something will come along that is perfect for you, and you will love.

 

Kymmie

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4 hours ago, NB Adult said:

 

Sorry about your stressful event, you probably need to put that agency in your rear view mirror!

Agreed. Easier said then done.  Do sorry this is happening yo you.  You deserve better then that BS.  
Good luck and keep us posted. 

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Yes it’s easier said than done. Here’s the issue I’ve been really trying hard to get away from: this state has basically zero workers rights and the catch is that I have to save money to even have a hope of moving. They can fire you without cause but you basically have to bend over backwards, destroy your health, and allow them to verbally abuse your mind and financially abuse your labor just to keep employment. Even the slightest disagreement with being abused, even if it’s done in the most professional way with tact, is highly frowned on. So basically you have to be patient but they don’t have to be at all.

 

It’s the pettiness that I really am tired of because I’m way too old for that. I don’t have many productive years left and I might look young for my age but I’m feeling my age especially because of the anxiety I’ve been through the last 6-7 years just constantly. My heart pain is coming back in spite of eating better and quitting smoking and taking omega 3. So I’m just not capable of high stress jobs anymore. I need a home and fast or I fear that I won’t make it. By home I mean a job that I can enjoy and there’s no cutthroat culture, because that’s the norm rather than the exception.

 

I’ve never seen so many places acting like they are competing in the stock market at wall-street every day when it’s really not that serious. Not every task means better results from pushing the speed limit. But that’s unfortunately the trend lately, pump that product out faster and faster because it’s volume that matters. But forget about quality, even though it’s the insane speed that has caused the lack of quality and means rework or losing customers. Let’s just flail our arms around fast and give ourselves heart attacks so we look busy. Let’s just waste a lot of energy on doing work twice because volume was more important than pacing. Let’s stress people out and then wonder why the turnover is so high.  

 

And I’m so tired of hearing the cliche that if I hang in there I’ll find something that is for me where people treat me better. That’s not how this town operates. You go to work, do your job, things seem fine, they pretend to like you, praise your work, and then they get greedy, that’s when the whip comes out or the pressure becomes more or they set you up for failure to see if you really want the job. You give even a millimeter and they take a mile, and the minute you object to them abusing your rights they retaliate. What kind of sadistic people are in charge of these human resource departments? I just don’t get it. So I’m either going to find a way to move or probably die. That sounds extreme but it’s my reality right now and doesn’t look like it’s going to change any time soon. I’m really out of options and stuck in a rut. 

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1 hour ago, Josie Beth said:

It’s the pettiness that I really am tired of because I’m way too old for that.


I’m sorry you’re having such a stressful time with all that you’re going through. So many things you’ve vented about really resonate with me as well. Though I now have a really good job, admittedly tolerating certain people, I have been on the end of “corporates” puppet strings. Thankfully, I work multiple locations with the government job I now have. It can be so hard when you’re going that extra mile and not receiving the recognition for your work. One of my previous jobs had me working lead on so may positions, yet didn’t want to pay well at all. My manager at the time even said I should be approved for the raise. Sadly, most corporations are that way. Also, I’ve seen so many “common employees” that would have made wonderful supervisors, yet they pick the absolute worst personalities sometimes, so it seems, to be the “leader.” My advice, this helped me immensely with my anxiety, though I still battle it, was to stay positive. I personally feel so “thank you, but meh :( ” when given that advice while in a rut or blah mood. It’s so true though, our thoughts become our lives. Kinda goes into the whole positive affirmations shaping your universe in general, but I’ve found it to help. So many cultures, religions, (morning people lol), etc boast of the power of positivity. It’s super hard for me to not want to feel like hiding under the covers when I feel negative, but I dig deeper and try and find things I can be thankful and positive about. If you’re like me, this may come off as meaning well, but still have you feeling a bit blah. I do hope this settles in and gives even the slightest positivity to you though.

Hugs, Madelyn

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@Josie Beth Sorry to hear things aren’t great with work. I hope you have better luck with the next agency. 
 

To all our vets here and elsewhere, truly, thank you for your service and sacrifice. 
 

My wife and I were out of town celebrating our anniversary over the weekend and yesterday. Back to work this morning. We had some significant snow throughout yesterday. Looking forward to my hot and delicious tea this morning. 
 

Have a great day everyone. 
 

*hugs*

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@Josie Beth you are still young so don't discount being able to establish yourself in a job you can be happy with.  Have you considered moving to a place that may be more accepting and that offers better job protections?  It doesn't seem like you are attached to the area you are in.  

Jani

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Morning everyone, I can't say I have had the best morning but I did go to my therapist appointment so that made me feel better about my week. This morning my brother was being really transphobic and making fun of my hair, though I really like it. He kept saying things like "Trans people are dumb" and "You will always be a girl" He said really hurtful things and I tried to tell my stepmom, she used the camera to go back through and listen and she just told me to grow up. I also fought with my dad because he didn't like my hair, I told him that it was my hair so I could have it however I want. I just wish they would call me Aidan, that would mean the world to me, or even just "A" anything but my deadname. I left my house crying because I can't hold it in anymore, 2 years of this, I just have 1 more left. 

 

But on a good note, my fish babies are doing well.

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Aidan we've all heard the saying, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger!" It's a good thought to meditate on when these things occur, it will get you through it.

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41 minutes ago, NB Adult said:

Aidan we've all heard the saying, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger!" It's a good thought to meditate on when these things occur, it will get you through it.

Thank you, it means a lot to me. I will :))

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Stupid people suck. Also you didn't give us an "after" picture when you went to go cut your hair (I just checked). I'm sorry your brother is being a pill and that your family in general is supportive. NB is right though. You'll come out the other side stronger.

 

Hugs!

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I don't want the blood to set," she said to the camera, but there was no response. Act normal, she told herself. You want out of here.  This was the low-stimulation therapy chamber, supposed to calm people down. She had read about it. Nothing to read, nothing to look at.  Finally she looked at the bands on her wrist.  The bright orange one said UNIT 304.  She closed her eyes and thought about the map of the hospital in the ER room.  It had all three floors.  ER on one, operating rooms and stuff on two, maternity and an unnamed area on 3.  It might as well say PSYCH WARD she figured. Or LOONEY BIN.  If she was here much longer she would go nuts. She looked at the other band, a white band with black lettering. Arial font.  Nicely spaced borders around everything.  Text above and the UPC code or whatever below.  She thought maybe she had time to crack the code and be able to figure out what it read. She read the text.  JONES TAYLOR A.  Correct. DOB.  No periods, just the letters.  04-03-2000. That was correct. Nice they kept the zeros so these things would be consistent. F.  She stared at that.  F.   The next line was MICHAELS A.  That was her doctor.  The F could only be gender.  He was some kind of a specialist in the field of sex and he had called her F.  Her drivers' license and medical insurance and Social Security card and birth certificate, even her Voter ID, had M.  She went over and over it.  There was no M anyway that would indicate gender. Only F. 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The other documents would be easy to change. She waited in a waiting room.  They gave her lunch at noon, and at 2:00 the discharge papers finally arrived. "I will need some way to get home." "He's downstairs in the lobby.  You can meet him there." "Great." ----------------------------------------------------- "What are we going to do about Marketing?"  this was the Chairman of the Board.  He had been asking this for years. This Saturday afternoon the Board had dropped their golf game in light of the sudden drop in sales.  This was not quite an emergency, but close. 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She had Taylor confused with someone else.  Will you forgive us?" Quite the start.  "Sure." "In 2015 I was the youth pastor at Hutton Church." [Hutton is a little village outside of Roosevelt, consisting of a church, half a dozen houses, a gas station and a Dollar General Store. The kids go to Roosevelt schools.] "Small world." "I remember there was a terrible assault on one of the youth at the high school, and there was a prayer campaign for that boy. He made a full recovery.  I recall a number of  news articles even though the family requested privacy.  I remember a Bob being mentioned as a close friend of the assaulted.  You strongly resemble him, and I am puzzled by your companion. She looks like the boy a lot.  That is why I kept looking in your direction.  Not in accusation." "She was him." "Really." "This is the same Taylor people are talking about - who changed from male to female?" "I think she was never a male, actually." 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"Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. "What's the matter?" "I am pretty touchy." "Okay.  Untie the straps in front and tie them the other way, like mine." "I don't have a belt." "There. That is right. You will get a belt after three months and passing tests on kata, kumite and karate knowledge." "I don't know what that is." "And we touch a lot here.  Not romantically. You see how Sensei Bob is going around and adjusting people's stances and arm locations." "Yes, I see that." No enthusiasm. "You are Sensei Bob's girl, right?" "Yes.  What is important to him is important to me, so here I am."  He wished her well and told her to go see Margie, who handled registration at the little table. "Hi, I heard about you." Margie began. "What does that mean?" "It means we treat everyone here with respect.  That was the wrong way to start." "I'll say. Try again." "Good morning. How can I help you?" "I want to register for the beginner class." "You are Taylor, right?" "Right." "Sensei Bob paid for your lesson today." He would. She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
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