Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Willow]

@KymmieL glad you had dinner with your son and family. I know how great that is.  I just had my daughter here for a week. Sorry the job didn’t come through.  If it as the right one for you it will still be there September first.  But I’m sure you will get what you want.

 

All, Isaias is still too unpredictable to know how it’s going to come up the coast.  If it’s a Tropical Storm or a category one hurricane it’s no big deal.  Even a two isn’t real concerning.  The first year we lived here we had a two and the eye went right over us.  For a place that “didn’t have hurricanes “ we’ve had one four years in a row. Just not this early.  
 

Have a great day.

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

8 hours ago, Willow said:

For a place that “didn’t have hurricanes “ we’ve had one four years in a row. Just not this early.  
 

Have a great day.

 

Willow

Don't you just hate when people tell you that. Oh, we don't get_________  yet you wind up having that type of weather anyway.

 

Kymmie

[Willow]

Hi everyone 

 

I’ve been having a bit of a rough patch the past few days .  I’ve been having an overwhelming need to be full time but that just doesn’t work for my wife. While I’ve been feeling like I have, she has expressed feeling depressed.  It is in part because of me and in part over our granddaughters who just left. 
 

I guess I am deceiving her some what because I am wearing a bra and panties under my male clothes.

 

I have a question for anyone who has been on hormones.  I’ve been on progesterone for just over 6 months. How much if any breast growth is average I’ve seen some shaping and maybe ½ inch increase over the bust.

 

let me know please

 

Willow

[Heather Shay]

not sure  if prog does much there but estrodial generally up to b cup.

[Jani]

@Willow from my understanding Progesterone will encourage breast grow but as with anything in life there are no specific guarantees.  Your own genetics will guide how much growth you will see.  Sorry I don't have a more positive response for you.  

 

As to the depression, you are right about a change like having the grandkids around for a spell.  It can be a bummer when they leave.  Your wife should speak with her doctor to request a mild medication and or seek out a counselor for a few sessions of conversation.  Either route may help.

 

Jani 

[Heather Shay]

I agree with Jani. Depression isn't something to mess with. Of course everyone has depression from time to time but if it remains persistent then speaking to family doctor to prescribe low dose meds is in order and conselling is never a bad thing if it does stay persistant.

 

[Willow]

@Jani and @Shay thanks for your input. I tried to talk to my wife about seeing our doctor about her depression I don’t know that had a lot of agreement on her part.  
 

Jani, I realize no two of us are the same and being “elderly” according to the department of health I guess that drops my chances.  But my endocrinologist keeps asking me and frankly that’s the one thing that means the most to me.  Oh, and I don’t agree with the age definition of elderly, but that’s probably because my parents were active well into their 80s.  My grandfather was still training trotters at 85. Both he and my dad died at 88 and my mom at 91. So to me elderly is a state of mind, health and activity and I’ve got at least a score left in me.  
 

probably aren’t too many of us around that knew someone born in the 1860s, my grandfather or who had A parent born in the 1890s, my dad.  Oh and my other grandfather and my great grandfather were In Their late 80s when that was highly unlikely to live that long.  Good strong Scotch heritage.  lol

 

Hugs

 

Willow

[KymmieL]

One of my grandfathers died at 91 and the other at 94. My father at 81. yet my mom is still going strong at 84.

 

I have been diagnosed with major depression since early 2000s. I am on meds which help, especially with my anger issues.

 

Well today was my last day shift for a few days. I close the next three days. At least I go in later so I can sleep in some.

 

Everything at home seems back to normal. The wife and youngest haven't said anything about my issues. However I have done nothing to encourage any discussion. 

 

Kymmie

[Heather Shay]

very much my background my mom died at 94, i have a 97 aunt. Ive been treated for depression from back in the 90's and when not on my med and that anger issues occur if i stop meds.

my hrt is really helping.

[Willow]

Good morning 

 

waiting on a hurricane to hit us this afternoon.

 

ive been on anti depressants for about 8 years now.  Initially over anger issues and unable to control my temper.  Then our youngest granddaughter was diagnosed with cancer so my doctor added another antidepressant.  Unknown to either of the combination caused me to get GERD which led to cancer.  Now instead of anger issues I had major depression.  Finally gave in and sought help.  It didn’t take long and my therapist got my new doctor to put me on a different anti depressant. Now the only time I get depressed was when a psychiatrist tried to change the meds.  Oh and the therapist figured out I was transgender and had been since I was a child.  That knowledge was a complete relief to me, like someone lifted a mega weight off me.

 

so much happier than I’d been in many years.  And being here where we share our stories to help each other is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

[Heather Shay]

I love you positive attitude Willow... I've always felt people react in either of 2 ways to difficult news - they either get BITTER or BETTER and you definitely are in the BETTER category - and that leads to growth... BITTER leads to swirling downward and that is sad..

[Bri2020]

Good morning all. Hope everyone's weekend was good.  I was busy exploring more feminine things. Had a lot of firsts: Got my nails done with my daughter. Just a very light pink with topcoat.  One could easily miss it. lol. I don't have any length to my nails. I have to keep them short for teaching massage therapy.  I also got my ears pierced! It was kind of intimidating because the only places open for that are tattoo parlors. My daughter went in for her first tat and my wife for a consult so I went in for my piercing with them. Out walks the huge bald completely tatted up guy and I have to admit I was a bit self conscious but turns out his best friend was Michael and is now Michelle so he was super sweet.  Then I come out and this woman is trying to get her 7 year old to be brave and says 'Look sweety, she just got hers done and aren't they pretty?"  Great experience.  If you're in Northern VA area and need a trans friendly place I recommend "The Body Gallery".  Today is my first electrolysis appointment too.  I've been busy . 

[Bri2020]

41 minutes ago, Willow said:

 

 

so much happier than I’d been in many years.  And being here where we share our stories to help each other is great.

 

hugs

 

Willow

I've heard that from so many transgender people, once they start transitioning, their depression lifts considerably.  I'm happy for you Willow!

[Jani]

Wow a busy day for sure @Bri2020.  A little validation to go along with it is always nice.

[Willow]

Good evening 

 

waiting for the center of the storm to hit us sometime between now and midnight.

 

The storm doesn’t really concern me I’ve been through worse.  But what is bothering me is My dysphoria.  I can usually can deal with it but the past week it’s really been intense.  My usual way to help Myself isn’t working.  Really wishing I was a girl right now, making the best of things but it’s not helping as much as normal.  
 

Willow

[Elizabeth Star]

Evening everyone,

I've had a bit of a whirlwind the last few days. I met with a GT on Saturday. I have been seeing a therapist for my depression for almost a year but obviously this one was different, but I wasn't really prepared. Although I have seen a few other trans-women in my area I am pretty socially isolated. my GT is trans-male. Makes him the first transgender person I've talked too.

 

In other news...My wife fell this morning and broke her wrist. Broke the end of her Radius into 5 pieces. Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday but it's a little complicated. She has PAH and has to wear an infusion pump 24/7. She cannot go under general anesthetic without risk of her heart stopping.  Surgery requires specialists on-hand the whole time. I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

 

?Liz

 

[Willow]

@ElizabethStar wow, that’s got to be difficult for you both.  I’ll put in a good thought for your wife and the surgeons.  
 

Willow

[Elizabeth Star]

@WillowThank you.

[Mmindy]

11 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

@ElizabethStar We're sending Positive Thoughts & Prayers for you and your wife.

Standing Strong supporting your wife and the surgery challenges doesn't mean denying your fears.

Your strong support for her doesn't reduce your empathy, you can show both. Sometimes it's not the words you have to pass on, as much as it is that you are there, sitting quietly with a loving touch of her hand or forehead as she wakes up.

 

Best wishes, and Positive Thoughts,

 

Mindy???

[Jani]

Elizabeth I'm sorry to hear of your wife's fall.  I hope all goes well with the surgery to set the bones.  

 

Good news on seeing a new therapist.  I understand the news of your wife's injury puts a damper on the meeting but it appears you had a good start. 

Hugs, 

Jani

[KymmieL]

43 minutes ago, Mmindy said:

Your strong support for her doesn't reduce your empathy, you can show both. Sometimes it's not the words you have to pass on, as much as it is that you are there, sitting quietly with a loving touch of her hand or forehead as she wakes up.

 

Best wishes, and Positive Thoughts,

 

Mindy???

Wise words, Mindy.

Liz, just being there for your wife speaks volumes. Prayers to you both.

 

Well, my Thursday. Closing shifts today and tomorrow. At least lets me sleep in some. We are so busy at work. with only 4 of us able to be on the front counter. Our incoming freight is getting backed up. not getting put away. With our receiving gal out for suspect Covid. The manager has to do check in and returns. which takes someone off the front.

 

At least I have a job. Which I am grateful for. I am hoping to be able to take some time off next week. We are planning a ride to see our oldest. Haven't see him or his family since March. Before I came out to him. I texted him yesterday about stopping by for a visit. a generic ok came back then asked if we are just going to visit for a bit or stay the night. I told him that not sure but may stay. or we can get a hotel. Still haven't hear anything back on it. 

I need to be prepared for anything. As my oldest has probably been the one who took my coming out the worst.  I still have no idea about how my daughter in law feels. But I suspect she is the same as my son. I will be ready to just walk out and leave. Even leaving my wife there. IF the SHTF. I need to realize that this maybe the last time I not only see my oldest grandson and my granddaughter.but see my oldest son. I know it is not my fault. If he can't take the truth from me.Well the hell with him.

 

Everyone try and have a good day.

 

HUgs

Kymmie

[Heather Shay]

I don't really have anything else to add - both both of you are in my mental hug circle.

[Bri2020]

14 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I won't let her see it but I am scared I could lose her if things go wrong. I'm feeling emotionally overloaded.

 

?Liz

 

I'm sending positive energy flowing your way.  These anesthesia people are really good nowadays and deal with Pulmonary Hypertension all the time so have faith.  That's an impressive fracture, just happy it was limited to the radius.  Hang in there.  I'm glad you found a therapist though.

[Bri2020]

Well I'm happy to say electrolysis wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Getting a compounding pharmacist to make up BLT cream made a huge difference I think.  AND.. my practitioner says Kaiser is talking to her about being a prefered provider so its possible some or all will be covered. They were looking specifically for trans friendly providers willing to do the 60 minute or longer facial hair sessions.  Apparently it's been a challenge for them because so many didn't want to work with the trans community .  They already cover it for bottom surgeries for both genders.

[Elizabeth Star]

Thank you everyone for the thoughts and prayers.
The other side of this is I think she is starting to see the real me now. I had forgotten, she had told the ER nurse I was her wife but it could have been the pain meds talking. Either way I’m going to show her why I’m better as her wife. 
Things seem like they’re going pretty good for me right now. Yet, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and have everything fall apart.
 

?Liz