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KymmieL

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Good Morning

 

@ElizabethStar This is extremely disheartening to hear. I feel that defeats their purpose as providers to not treat their patients properly because of the political climate. But leave it to fear to prevent things from being productive. 
 

I hope all are well and have a wonderful Friday ❤️

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14 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I just finished my weekly session with my therapist. The director of the practice announced that they will not be giving Gender Dysphoria diagnosis's from now through the foreseeable future due to the current political climate. That it may cause some back-lash for the trans community. We were just starting to work on it too. I'm starting to get worried that HRT, gender marker and name change may be as far I'll able to go. Grant it, it's better than nothing but.....

 

That is terrible, @ElizabethStar!  Since when was politics allowed to sway a medical diagnosis?  You have to wonder if they are protecting your interests or their own.  That is totally messed up.

 

I hope you are able to find another therapist.

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14 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I just finished my weekly session with my therapist. The director of the practice announced that they will not be giving Gender Dysphoria diagnosis's from now through the foreseeable future due to the current political climate. That it may cause some back-lash for the trans community. We were just starting to work on it too. I'm starting to get worried that HRT, gender marker and name change may be as far I'll able to go. Grant it, it's better than nothing but.....

I'm just curious what the "current political climate" means? Is this because Ginsburg passed? I haven't heard of any new law being passed against us recently. If your therapist is a gender therapist they should just be determined to stay on track. It may affect their funding if they get state or federal assistance but they have a politics free charter when it comes to securing the safety of their clients and are certainly not allowed to share the details of any diagnosis due to HIPPA. It also doesn't make any sense to me because I just found a gender therapist to see and they didn't tell me anything like this when I was arranging the appointment. They just said to fill out some paperwork and turn it in before the visit.

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@ElizabethStar @Abi - Elizabeth - I totally would hope Abi is right about the politics free zone and would ask your therapist why politics have to enter the picture. Health Care means - DO NO HARM and that sounds like harm to me.

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Seen my doctor today for a check up,doctor has a concern with my prostate and scheduled to see a specialist next week Tuesday for a second opinion.Have not been having prostate problems lately

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Good morning everyone,

 

No coffee this morning. I'm still bothered by the news from my therapist, wasn't thinking, and forgot to stop off and get some last night. Just trying to wake up enough to get over to Starbucks.

 

I received a letter in the mail from my mother. She like to occasionally sends me random news articles so I was a little apprehensive to open it. It turned out it was a copy of my uncle's obituary, a little morbid? What really caught me off guard was that she addressed me as Elizabeth in the accompanying letter.

 

 

 

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My wife and son telling me happy birthday to me this morning ,42 years old now.Son is in for the weekend,I have joint custody of him with my ex wife whom I divorced in 2010.Son is 16.Wife did get me a nice pair of 2 inch hoop earrings.Son picked out a nice birthday card

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Morning,  ladies and gents.  I am hoping that today isn't going to fall on me. I sit here taking a quick pause. I am almost in tears. I am so fried out. I keep thinking that I just need to  just up and leave.

 

I have decided to see something. It has been 2 days since my wife has said those three words. I love you.  And I think it was me telling her first.  So, I am going to see how long it is until she says  it.  On her own. 

 

Five days before 2 days off. This is my 5th  Monday in a row. I just hope that I  make it. And not go running out the door, screaming. And given a new white coat with extra  long  sleeves. 

 

Hugs to all,

Kymmie 

 

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@KymmieL breath. You will make it. Wife did say I love you and whether prompted or not she said it of her own free will. That is good.

 

@KendraML hoops earrings that must have felt wonderful and birthday card from son ... Treasure both.

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Good Morning!

 

Laying in bed this chilly morning about to do my first dilation of the day. Slept pretty hard last night, which was welcome since I have struggled sleeping lately. Thinking about ordering breakfast delivery this morning. Might be nice for a change. Other than that, not much going on in my life. 
 

@KymmieL I pray for your peace in decision making within your situation. 

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

OMG!  How do I get  out of Dark Mode?

 

 

Hi KayC,

 

Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on themes. It will give you 2 options to choose from. Click on default.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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Waking up this morning to a nice cup of blueberry coffee. Had a great day in Yellow Springs, OH with the wife and am about to have the first meeting with my mom since coming out today along with a trip to the Zoo. I did come out to a long time mutual friend from High School last night, it just felt right and was well received. The friend is closer to my wife and they had a good chat last night after I went to bed already.

 

@KymmieL I am sorry to hear that you having to make such a tough decision. Hang in there and know you aren't alone. It is a tough decision especially with her using the work "I Love You".

 

@ElizabethStar I don't even know how I would handle if my therapist stopped helping me out with my gender dysphoria/gender identity work. I think it is total garbage what the head of the practice is saying, but I know there is nothing you or I can do to change it except possibly look at a new therapist if it comes down to it. I wish you the best and enjoy your Starbucks :).

 

@KendraML I am so glad that your son and wife got you something nice for your birthday. I have started to wonder what birthdays and holidays like Christmas are going to look like now that I am transitioning. That is nice though you got a card from your son at least.

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1 hour ago, Confused1 said:

Scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on themes.

 

OMG!  Thank you, Mike❣️  I'm not sure I ever would've found it.   The World is Bright again ? (I'm just not a Dark Mode person)

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Good morning 

 

the new colors being used here give it a modern look but if the black background is selectable I’d just as soon switch it back to black on ??.  Some of our old eyes don’t see this as well.

 

kept getting leg cramps last night.  Now I’ve always had some issue with that but not like this.  Usually it’s a sign I didn’t drink enough water but I had plenty yesterday.  
 

we took a walk on the beach yesterday and wound up rescuing 6 star fish .  They had gotten stuck in a sand ripple as the tide went out and were slowly drying up. I don’t know when I’ve ever seen the tide so low. We followed a sand sprit I’ve never seen quite a ways off shore and never got over our ankles.

 

@KymmieL I’m sorry you are having a rough time right now.  Between being unhappy at work, wanting to be out and problems with your wife it really mounts up.  Hang in there and go see a counselor.  Even better try to get some couples therapy.

 

hugs 

 

Willow

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A little hard to see default but oh so much better for me.  Thanks Mike!

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On 10/1/2020 at 7:03 PM, ElizabethStar said:

The director of the practice announced that they will not be giving Gender Dysphoria diagnosis's from now through the foreseeable future due to the current political climate.

 

I wonder if this might be due to the practice having concerns about an existing or anticipated rule change that would result in loss of state or federal funding for trans-friendly care providers.  It's the only thing I can think of that makes any kind of sense (not that it really makes any sense . . .)  That practice owes its clients a more forthright explanation.

 

 

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Kendraml, I just went through the prostate thing. I was on hormones for about 8 ,9 months. I wasn't talking them the way I was supposed to. I was taking half doses and sometimes going a couple of weeks without taking them. Then I quit for 3months. I had 2 biopsies and 1 mri. My results showed suspicious matter. I have to get checked in 6months, and then once a year. My pcd thinks it may have been caused by not taking the hormones properly. She put me back on them with the condition I take them properly. Ironically, 1 of the treatments for prostate cancer is a form of hormonal therapy. They give you a testosterone blocker. I'm  not  a doctor.  Do what your doctor says. I remember being scared to death. A lot of times they just keep an eye on it. God bless, keep you in my prayers. 

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2 hours ago, Willow said:

kept getting leg cramps last night.  Now I’ve always had some issue with that but not like this.  Usually it’s a sign I didn’t drink enough water but I had plenty yesterday.  

 

I have this without enough potassium. Drinking water flushes it out of your system pretty quick. Water pills (like spiro) can flush it out of your system even faster. I've got naturally low-ish potassium anyway. Add some more sources of dietary potassium to your diet and see if the cramps go down, otherwise talk to your doctor in case it's something worse.

 

Hugs!

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4 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

What really caught me off guard was that she addressed me as Elizabeth in the accompanying letter.

 

I love that. Not so much your uncle's obituary, I hope you weren't close, but that she's willing to see you for yourself.

 

4 hours ago, KymmieL said:

And not go running out the door, screaming.

 

Don't go discounting the power of a nice breakdown. You're a girl. It's OK to feel and express emotions other than rage, horniness and... what else do guys feel? Boredom maybe? (Kidding. Obviously. Mostly. ?) Sometimes you just need to get a good cry out. Maybe a treat afterwards (My little episode this morning was accompanied by dark chocolate almond bark). It's better if there's someone to cry to or on, but don't discount the power of letting yourself go to pieces. Working through your emotions helps. Feel them, acknowledge them and ride them out. Afterwards you can look at things with a clear heart.

 

3 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

Had a great day in Yellow Springs, OH with the wife and am about to have the first meeting with my mom since coming out today along with a trip to the Zoo.

 

That does sound like a great day. My wife and I have had to skip our zoo trips this year because COVID. It's a sad thing. I wonder if the anteaters miss me. I have a weird fascination with the giant anteaters. They're mesmerizing for some reason. I love all the scaly creatures of course, and the birds are lovely, but there's just something about the anteaters.

 

2 hours ago, Jacqui said:

I wonder if this might be due to the practice having concerns about an existing or anticipated rule change that would result in loss of state or federal funding for trans-friendly care providers.

 

I wondered about that too. If something was on the ballot at the state or federal level that would be detrimental for trans-friendly practices or trans-people in general. Maybe something that directly affects the clinic's funding. It could be a, "If we do this on paper, we can't help people anymore," situation. There are too many people in the halls of power salivating about taking away our rights. I worry.

 

Hugs!

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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

It's better if there's someone to cry to or on, but don't discount the power of letting yourself go to pieces. Working through your emotions helps. Feel them, acknowledge them and ride them out. Afterwards you can look at things with a clear heart.

I agree 100% with you Jackie. After randomly crying over the last couple of days I feel a lot better and more focused on what I need to do for me.

 

4 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

I did come out to a long time mutual friend from High School last night, it just felt right and was well received.

I know how hard it can be and I'm happy things went well.

 

2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 If something was on the ballot at the state or federal level that would be detrimental for trans-friendly practices or trans-people in general.

I still feel I was abandoned in the name of "what's best" for me. On a certain level it feel like discrimination. If this becomes common practice what is the trans community supposed to do?

I can't hide what's under my shirt anymore and with the potential reality of mammograms sometime in my future. I think the medical community will figure it out on their own. Oh wait, I have  "lady meds" on my list of prescriptions so they probably already know.

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

Waking up this morning to a nice cup of blueberry coffee. Had a great day in Yellow Springs, OH with the wife and am about to have the first meeting with my mom since coming out today along with a trip to the Zoo. I did come out to a long time mutual friend from High School last night, it just felt right and was well received. The friend is closer to my wife and they had a good chat last night after I went to bed already.

 

@KymmieL I am sorry to hear that you having to make such a tough decision. Hang in there and know you aren't alone. It is a tough decision especially with her using the work "I Love You".

 

@ElizabethStar I don't even know how I would handle if my therapist stopped helping me out with my gender dysphoria/gender identity work. I think it is total garbage what the head of the practice is saying, but I know there is nothing you or I can do to change it except possibly look at a new therapist if it comes down to it. I wish you the best and enjoy your Starbucks :).

 

@KendraML I am so glad that your son and wife got you something nice for your birthday. I have started to wonder what birthdays and holidays like Christmas are going to look like now that I am transitioning. That is nice though you got a card from your son at least.

He did get me a nice pair of dangling earrings too,forgot to mention it

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

If this becomes common practice what is the trans community supposed to do?

I know you are very worried. Don't forget you have a large support group right here. We will do as trans people have always done and be vigilant. I am certain you will search out a healthy way to handle this moment. The community has been making progress even with the current state of the world's affairs. It may be a good question for a trans rights group to tackle. I am not sure who you would tell but there are groups that fight these things like Lambda legal or even just going for emotional support with the pflag community. My senses tell me that the community will never accept being told "NO". I would suggest keeping and or requesting written information that defines the reason that your therapist would not help you. Documentation piles up high enough that eventually laws get changed. That's not overnight but it is the answer to your question. We stick together and give the best moral and emotional support we have to offer. Sorry you are hurting but, you will get through this. I'm sure of it.

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I still feel I was abandoned in the name of "what's best" for me. On a certain level it feel like discrimination. If this becomes common practice what is the trans community supposed to do?

I can't hide what's under my shirt anymore and with the potential reality of mammograms sometime in my future. I think the medical community will figure it out on their own. Oh wait, I have  "lady meds" on my list of prescriptions so they probably already know.

 

I'm not saying I agree with them. I'm more of the opinion that the medical community... well, the community in general... should do what's right in the face of adversity, but not everybody (not even me) always has the courage of their convictions. I don't know what kind of storm they think that they're going to have to face or what thought process went into their decision. I hope it's nothing and that normality will soon resume.

 

Hugs!

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It's kinda weird to think that you're a political pawn.

 

I know I don't particularly want the attention.

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