Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

It's kinda weird to think that you're a political pawn.

 

I know I don't particularly want the attention.

 

Not even a pawn really, we're more of a bargaining chip. We're the screaming victims in the background of a disaster movie sacrificed so that the villain can achieve his goals or someone the hero can sacrifice for the "greater good" and be sad about later.

 

We don't have their attention. We're just being sacrificed to gain a few votes from people who think they have to hate us to make their god love them again.

 

Hugs! (I know *I* need one, I just bummed myself out.)

Link to comment
  • Replies 23.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Willow

    2013

  • KymmieL

    1637

  • Mmindy

    1357

  • Ivy

    1173

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

We're just being sacrificed to gain a few votes from people who think they have to hate us to make their god love them again.

Helps them feel better about themselves.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Jandi said:

Helps them feel better about themselves.

 

That too. But it tends to be the people who go to a church to feel better about themselves also.

 

It's kind of sad. I don't have to hate on anyone and I still manage to feel good about myself. I can't imagine what living like that must be like. I pity them at the same time I fight against them.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Hi Bobbi --

5 hours ago, Bobbie Scott said:

Ironically, 1 of the treatments for prostate cancer is a form of hormonal therapy. They give you a testosterone blocker.

Yeah, it's commonly called Finasteride, but I don't know the proper generic name. I've been taking it for years, for prostrate. Just had labs -- my new doc said I was near the bottom of the "normal" range for T. I was surprised. I thought I'd be near the bottom of none-at-all after taking it for that long. My dose is 5mg/day, which is common for prostrate, but I think I read somewhere that is much higher than T blocker in HRT. She plans to consult with my endocrinologist on whether to add another T. blocker. She's cool -- a GYN. I'll do and take whatever she says. 

 

Also, Hi ElizabethStar and Jacqui --

 

6 hours ago, Jacqui said:

I wonder if this might be due to the practice having concerns about an existing or anticipated rule change that would result in loss of state or federal funding for trans-friendly care providers. 

 The way I understand the WPATH Guidelines, a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" opens the door to HRT Rx. on the basis of "informed consent." I also think HRT is considered the correct treatment with that diagnosis. So if they "eliminate" a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis, they can eliminate HRT treatments.

 

But I question the medical ethics of refusing to make the correct diagnosis of a medical condition for "political climate" reasons. Their fundamental principle supposedly is, "Above all else, do no harm." I also wonder about medical malpractice liability. Wouldn't a political refusal to accurately diagnose and treat an identified medical condition constitute medical mal on its face?

 

~~Here comes a grateful hug for an interesting subject, from Lee~~
 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Lee H said:

But I question the medical ethics of refusing to make the correct diagnosis of a medical condition for "political climate" reasons. Their fundamental principle supposedly is, "Above all else, do no harm." I also wonder about medical malpractice liability. Wouldn't a political refusal to accurately diagnose and treat an identified medical condition constitute medical mal on its face?

 

This one is tricky. Doctors are already prohibited from certain courses of treatment because of external factors. While I agree it sucks beyond sucking, it's an unfortunate side-effect of how the American medical apparatus is funded. I could very easily see gender dysphoria being legislated back to being a mental illness with differing courses of treatment in the current political climate.

 

Hugs! (I need to stop reading these. I keep going to deep, dark places in my head. For the love of the Spider-Goddess somebody post something uplifting! Also, vote if you haven't already.)

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

Also, vote if you haven't already.

My goal in life at this point is to live long enough to vote.  Early voting starts here in about 2 weeks.

Kinda pathetic for a goal, but there it is.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

So I go to wally world to get refills for my razor. As I am heading to check out. I see my wife. She asked me why I am there.

So I tell her.

OH, you should of told me yesterday. I went shopping.

Well you didn't tell me you were going shopping.

Well it's the first of the month.

 

Then shes, We have razors up stairs.

Not ones that will fit my razor

Well we have the small ones. (disposables)

Yeah, I tried one didn't work worth beans.

Oh it must be your hair getting all stiff from shaving it all the time.

I'm like, Low jab, honey.

 

So,we look at a couple ideas for my 2nd oldest grandsons birthday next weekend. She is going to take the stuff back she already got him and get other stuff. SO I go to purchase my stuff. She plops a loaf of french bread on the belt for the check out. Then I'll see you at home. No big thing. Once we get home she arrives just after me. I tell her. I'm telling our son that some crazy lady just threw bread at me and walked out. She proceeds to flip me off.

 

I am getting so fed up with her crap. She would tease me like that If I did it to her.

 

Hugs.

 

Kymmie

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@KymmieL I'm assuming it wasn't a playful ... how do you say that? "Off-flipping" "Drive-by birding?"

 

Thinking about it though, I might have playfully flipped a friend off while I was presenting as male... heck, I might do it to a male friend now, but never my wife. We trade looks, but yeah. I'm sorry tensions between the two of you aren't getting better.

 

Is trading gifts back and forth like that normal? That's not something I've ever done. I was brought up to keep a gift forever. Even if it was something you didn't want or need. To the best of my knowledge, once my grandparents bought something as a gift for me, that was the end of it. Of course, my grandparents only had to contend with the two of us on Doctor C.'s side and three on my dad's side.

Then again, my wife keeps reminding me that, "Other families are NOT like what you grew up with." So what do I know?

 

Still, I hope your week gets better Kymmie. Big hugs!

Link to comment

Had a great birthday today,went out for lunch with family,my wife and son.Mom made me happy,a new pair of 4 inch black heels and something written in the birthday card.Wrote this: I said goodbye to a son that wanted a better life 4 years ago and now a much happier daughter in my life whom I love and accept.Mom and I hugged after I read it.

Link to comment

@KymmieL

My wife never says "I love you" ... as in never ever. The closest I get to those words is "you too" if I tell her I love her ... but usually not even then.

 

We've talked about this and she says she doesn't believe in words. She asks me to judge her by her actions as words are so easily manipulated and lied.

 

Its something I've just learned to live with.

 

Maybe your wife is the same?

Link to comment

I've managed to calm down quite a bit today. I still have a lot random feelings. I gonna put them in a box until I have therapy again on Thursday. It's been an interesting ride dealing with these emotions but al least I'm not getting angry.

 

I got a hold of a list of other therapists I'm going to call. I'm not feeling very optimistic right now but I will call them.

Link to comment

@Berni Sometimes words aren't for the person saying them, but they're for the person hearing them. I'm not trying to say anything bad about your wife and how she feels, so please forgive me when I say this. She needs to think about you and how you need to hear that she loves you. I know you already know how she feels, but sometimes it's nice to hear it out loud.

 

Berni I know I don't know you, but this is for you girl. I love you!

Link to comment

What have I mised by not checking this thread.

 

@ElizabethStar WTAH is going on with your therapist. I had to go back through and find what you were talking about. They're just dumping you to fend for yourself! I can see them not taking any new patients, but to actually fire you from being an actual long time patient of theirs is ridiculous. Have they told you what you're supposed to do now? Any referrals to see someone else? This should be illegal and you should be able to file a malpractice suit over this.

 

 I am so sorry sweetie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@Jackie C.Thanks for the suggestion, however since I take progesterone and not estrogen I can’t eat foods or supplements that are high in potassium I have to avoid them. Potassium levels and kidney function are something my endocrinologist watch’s like a hawk. I don’t have much prostate left after two surgeries so my frequency and flow are more like a much younger person.  Staying properly hydrated is something I have to be careful with.

 

Willow 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

@KymmieLim so sorry your wife is putting you through all this.  It seems like just when she does something to make you think maybe things are getting better she turns on you again.  That’s tough.  I know you are looking to go to Oregon for I’m sure several reasons, but what if you just move out now?  What would be the difference?  I’m not really in favor of that but if your are going to have to end up there, why wait until you can move there?

 

good luck with whatever you do.

 

Willow

Link to comment
12 hours ago, Lee H said:

Yeah, it's commonly called Finasteride, but I don't know the proper generic name.

 

Lee, actually Finasteride is the generic name; the commercial names are Propecia and Proscar.

 

12 hours ago, Lee H said:

The way I understand the WPATH Guidelines, a diagnosis of "gender dysphoria" opens the door to HRT Rx. on the basis of "informed consent."

 

Requiring a diagnosis from a behavioral health professional before an endocrinologist prescribes HRT is the old 'gatekeeper' approach.  "Informed consent" is the opposite of this because it allows a patient to receive HRT without any kind of diagnosis from a therapist by signing a form indicating that they understand the side effects and risks of HRT and assume responsibility for receiving it.  (Of course, with the informed consent approach, the patient's health insurance company may be less inclined to believe that HRT is 'medically necessary', and so may refuse to pay for it.)

 

This link explains it in more detail:  https://slate.com/human-interest/2016/03/transgender-patients-and-informed-consent-who-decides-when-transition-treatment-is-appropriate.html

 

Link to comment

Good morning,

 

I actually have coffee this morning and why did I wake up at 4am?

 

@HollyNoel My therapist did not out-right dump me. The director of the practice decided they will no long be diagnosing or treating GD. But we're still OK to meet and talk about anything else. Might have well just dumped me. It's not like I'll be able to talk about anything else going forward. I will still meet with him, for now, because I need someone to vent too.

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Good morning everyone 

 

coffee pot is on. 
 

@ElizabethStar suppose a medical group can decide what they will treat and what they won’t but to deny to allow you to talk about something that is a big part of why you are there, I say run, don’t walk to a different place get your therapy notes and then file the malpractice.  Leaving someone out on a limb and cutting it off has to be wrong.


@Jacquisome states still require a diagnosis and not informed consent.  Now that could be because they are doing the funding.  The endocrinologist I see works for a state university and medical school and did require a diagnosis before he could treat.  Since I already had that I’ve had no issues getting treated by anyone there for related issues.  It Is like once you’re in your golden.  But that’s part of living in the south.  Laid back life style, held back acceptance.

 

Willow

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Willow said:

. . . some states still require a diagnosis and not informed consent.

 

I realize this.  The intent of my post was simply to clarify that the diagnosis "gateway" model and the "informed consent" model are two very different things.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Sorry, I only meant to put it out there for others that might not know both are still in use depending on circumstances and where you live.  
 

Willow
 

 

Link to comment

My son came out to me this morning and proud of him,came out as bigender.My ex wife,he told her and it wasn't good at first.She took it hard and has not accepted it yet,told him it may take time for her to accept this.Plus he knows I will love and accept him with my support.If she doesn't accept,knows he can live with me.Has known this for 2 years now 16 years old and picked out his female name already,Allison.Going to get in touch with my good friends whom will help him out,Said he wants to live and dress as Allison within a couple weeks.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, KendraML said:

My son came out to me this morning and proud of him,came out as bigender.My ex wife,he told her and it wasn't good at first.She took it hard and has not accepted it yet,told him it may take time for her to accept this.Plus he knows I will love and accept him with my support.If she doesn't accept,knows he can live with me.Has known this for 2 years now 16 years old and picked out his female name already,Allison.Going to get in touch with my good friends whom will help him out,Said he wants to live and dress as Allison within a couple weeks.

 

Aww! Give Allison a hug from Aunt Jackie. It sounds like she has realistic expectations and at least one supportive parent and that is awesome. She even gets to be embarrassed of you while you go clothes shopping somewhere you're too old for. I'm just so very happy for the both of you! Thank you! I think you just made my day.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Waking up to some coffee this morning, looks like yesterday was interesting conversation for some folks. Had a good day at the zoo with my mom, and we had a conversation about me being transgender and what it meant. She has a better idea now of what it means, how it isn't a choice, and it is also something that goes untreated could lead down the path of suicide. There were some comments that were made, but I kind of ignored them because she is trying. She has concerns that are valid, just I am not on that plane of worry anymore.

 

Today is going to be a support group day, then going over to a friend's house to do some art, so that should be interesting to see what we do and make. I am thinking about going over dressed as Amber and flexing my comfort level a little bit and going somewhere with other people, not that it is going to be risky or anything. This friend and I talked last night and actually can't wait to go shopping with Amber.

 

@KendraML I am glad to hear that your daughter was willing to come out to you and know that you will always have your support. Like you said, your ex-wife may take some time to come around.

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Aww! Give Allison a hug from Aunt Jackie. It sounds like she has realistic expectations and at least one supportive parent and that is awesome. She even gets to be embarrassed of you while you go clothes shopping somewhere you're too old for. I'm just so very happy for the both of you! Thank you! I think you just made my day.

 

Hugs!

I saw he has not been happy about something and know what it is now.I know Allison will be happy as a girl.One good friend of mine is a make up artist and will teach Allison about make up.Hair,has good length shoulder length hair to work with.My ex wife,will call her sometime this week and try to talk to her saying Allison will be finally happy in her life.It may or not may work convincing her.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, KendraML said:

I saw he has not been happy about something and know what it is now.I know Allison will be happy as a girl.One good friend of mine is a make up artist and will teach Allison about make up.Hair,has good length shoulder length hair to work with.My ex wife,will call her sometime this week and try to talk to her saying Allison will be finally happy in her life.It may or not may work convincing her.

 

Oh! Allison's lucky to have you. Makeup is hard as heck to master. Expensive too. Your ex might take a minute. She could need to see how much happier Allison is as herself before it starts to sink in. As trans people ourselves, we've got a better handle on what being trans feels like than cis people. Don't be too hard on them, they were just born that way. ?

The point being that pressuring a cis-person to be accepting, even when it's an obvious case of, "Love your children dammit!" doesn't work. It's like giving your cat a shower, nothing gets accomplished, you need a new shower curtain and you lost about a gallon of blood.

 

So love the hell out of Allison. Give her all the love and support you can. Let your ex sort her own feelings out. She'll come around or she won't, but all you can really do is give your kid a safe haven.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 238 Guests (See full list)

    • KathyLauren
    • Betty K
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Pip
    • Timi
    • Susie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Thank you for continuing to share your story, Sally!   Willa sounded like a grand friend, I'm sorry for your loss. :(
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Not all conservatives are for Trump.  I am far from thrilled he is running.  Just wanted to make that clear.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Anybody willing to present the case for Trump? Any conservatives out there?
    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...