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KymmieL

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@Emily michelle It is great to hear that you are changing for the better. LOL I have less than 30 days till I see the Endo about going on HRT with a blood thinner. I just hope the weather is good. Since it is down in Denver.  But If I have to fight through snow to get to be me would be worth it.

 

Can't stand my body. Up early on a day off. when I wanted to sleep in. Oh, Well I can take a nap later. Cup o coffee is nice and warming. this cold am with a forecast over night low to be 38 and today's high only 37. (don't know how that works)

 

I only have to go to my chiropractor later. I may also renew the tags on our MKZ. Luckily it is free since I have my DV plates on it.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

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@Victoria_ I love the wig and the whole look in the picture, it is very cute.

 

Just finished my first cup of coffee. Took the day off since I need to burn vacation time and I have two appointments today, psychiatry and therapy. I have a span between the two, so I am going to go for a walk in the park I think. My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen, which has been a happy surprise.

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@Victoria_ I agree - really cute photo

 

@QuestioningAmber the reduction of anxiety and calmness has been my favorite part of HRT so far - hoping the body starts doing its thing but I'm happy with anxiety and depression reduction - that along has reduced the gender dysphoria.

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On 10/20/2020 at 7:01 AM, Shay said:

I am drinking my 1 cup of daily coffee and I am feeling somewhat numb with the weather and having lost my first sibling on Sunday. I was able to say goodbye via FaceTime and he passed shortly after that. He has been in rest home for 5 years with Lewy body disease - the same thing Robin Williams had so his death doesn't unexpected but it did come quickly and I will always remember the look in his face. Hours later he passed. Anyway I hope your day is starting well and you are ready to face another day becoming the you you were always meant to be.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. Even when we know it's coming it is still heart wrenching.  Here's to remembering all that was good about his life.  Hang in there. 

Hugs

Bri

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6 hours ago, Victoria_ said:

First day with a wig, I’m feeling great, now I can recognize my true self ?

Very cute wig! 

 

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I've been on HRT for 7 weeks and didn't really feel any different until yesterday I became an emotional wreck over the stupidest things and started crying at commercials and -crap-. lol. My wife laughed pretty hard about my state.  I noticed the last week my nipples had become "sensitive" but then this morning looking in the mirror noticed they were "budding". I have to admit, I kinda freaked out.  I've been wanting this but to actually see a physical change occur made the HRT decision real for the first time for me.  I'm better now but I was really worried about the fact the I freaked out and began questioning whether that reaction might have been a sign I wasn't ready.  

In other fun news, A client came into the shop today and as we were talking asked how long I had been here. I thought he was asking about the biz so told him 11 years in this location then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue.  We had a great conversation about the differences in treatment availabilities and public acceptance and then went about our days.  I've been in biz for a long time and had no clue we had any trans clients.  It's really cool to know we do.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:00 PM, Shay said:

@QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 

Heather you need to road trip down to DC some weekend and we will go shopping.  I'm sure we can find some stuff to make you feel cute. In fact, I think we need to coordinate a shopping day for a bunch of us.

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2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair. 

 

Very cool story, @Bri2020!  We are everywhere.  Bwa-ha-ha!

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That is incredibly cool @Bri2020. That must have been a great conversation! I had a similar episode with one of my spouse's friends. We met up at my brother-in-law's funeral and she introduced herself to me. I smiled and said no, we met back in 1990. Then we played a round of "guess who?" with things like, "You were a bridesmaid at my wedding!" It was HUGE fun until my wife finally said, "She used to be <deadname>."

 

As for the emotional thing... you're never ready. It's a big new thing. Some of us get weepy. Some get more euphoric, but the hormones turn your emotional intensity from, "meh" to "OMG!" That takes a minute to get used to. Now that said, I know of people who could not handle the extra load from progesterone, but so long as your hormonal chemistry is normal (as in your endo is done adjusting), you'll get used to it soon enough. I'm two years in and still get blindsided occasionally. However, one of the happiest moments I've had since I started transitioning was when I'd been off hormones a few weeks in preparation for my GCS. I was reading something and it hit me in all the ways that you're feeling things now. I started to cry, then I started to laugh because a huge fear had dropped off my shoulders. Even without the hormones (though I could NOT WAIT to get back on), I was still the new, better me.

 

Hugs!

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Bri2020: " It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue. "

 

This is simply an amazing story!  How did you resist the temptation is sing jointly a chorus or two of "It's a Small World After All"?

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Five years ago today our 8 year old granddaughter lost her battle with brain cancer.  She went through three lengthy brain surgeries.  Months of radiation treatments.  She never complained and always had a smile for me.  Weekends she spent with my wife and I and the rest of the week she was in the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House.  
 

She asked to go on a Disney Cruise after we got the news that she had a limited number of weeks to live.  My daughter and I made that happen with logistical help from friends and family.  When we arrived, Disney staff met us at our car, walked us through and treated Daphne like the princess she was.  As well as her two sisters and the rest of us.  The matre’de cried when he learned of her fate.  
 

Daphne met and touched people all over the world.  Girl Scouts from all over sent her letters of care and love.  A special Rainbow patch was made to honor her.  Her catch phrases was “Don’t be sad, think of Rainbows!”  She came up with that and said it to her mother he when they were being helicoptered to a bigger hospital.

 

willow

 

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@Victoria_ You look great!

 

11 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen

 

Less anxiety? Sounds good, I could use some of that!

 

9 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago! 

 

That is such a cool story! Wow!

 

@Shay and @Emily michelle sorry to hear about both of your rough times. Also, this is the first I've heard of Transparent, I'm definitely going to take a look.

 

Well everyone,

 

Yesterday I finally heard back from the gender therapist I'd been hoping to start seeing. I was so excited to get that message, I was feeling this weird mix of half-shaking together with calmness (weight being lifted). The last few weeks this has all been feeling very sudden, and confusing, rollercoastery, and I've been really feeling a need to finally start talking things over with someone professionally trained trained in this stuff. I have my first appointment (virtual) a week from monday! I so can't wait to finally talk and what she has to say.

 

Also, earlier this week I had a routine follow-up with my GP, and decided it was time to finally be honest with her about both my drinking habit and the fact that I was looking for gender therapist. Since I still hadn't yet heard back from the therapist I was hoping for, I figured she might have some connections since I recently learned the organization she's with (The Cleveland Clinic) has two LGBT+ health centers. The meeting went well on all points, and it felt good to come out with my GP on both those things.

 

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into... :)

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A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

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For anyone who remembers the issues I was having with my therapist a few weeks ago. The fear was that there maybe issues (in ONE possible future) with trans-people getting medical care if they have GD in their file. It was staring to sound a little like a EULA ......if you are properly informed and willing to accept these risks....we can proceed.

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face. HR checked in with me today. I've been out doing a lot of field work lately and they wanted to make sure I haven't gotten crap from any customers. So far nothing to report.

 

I've been getting a lot more comfortable using she/her pronouns and references on myself. I didn't have a reason to use them before but now on service calls it's all "Hi I'm Elizabeth, you service girl. I'm here to fix your alarm".

 

 

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1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

20201022_224835_2.thumb.jpg.c598d34210fb7aec4e32fdd8de06ecdb.jpg

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@Willow It is so hard to lose someone so young.It seems like she met the challenge with a brave heart, and a loving heart.

 

It would absolutely devastate me if I ever lost one of my grandkids. If it was someone else fault, they wouldn't find the body so help me.

 

Kymmie

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@Heather Nicole 

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

And...

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Whatcha get? whatcha get?

Ya...let us know.

?

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face.

Elizabeth, glad to hear about work.  Your in the big scary outdoors, so we're watching closely.  I'm inspired by your courage.

?

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2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

@Heather NicoleWhatcha get? whatcha get?

 

Ha haa! :)

 

Not sure how much of that's just playing along, but you know what? I'm so happy with what I got, here they are:

 

(sorry admins if bandwidth is an issue here, I really hope it isn't. I tried using "insert image from url", but it didn't seem to work for me - I'm guessing because, as I've just learned, the server I tried using has out-of-date TLS...among other things...I really need to get that sorted out...)

 

20201022_231759_2.thumb.jpg.651020b3598e01b4588fcc961d06426a.jpg20201022_232120_2.thumb.jpg.8b45c8af297cf54fdbf7078a13be4357.jpg20201022_232727_2.thumb.jpg.332d47b29b21bb4b8ed2797ff3ec59e2.jpg

 

These are Torrid's size 3x. I think 4x might be a better fit, but I'm working on loosing weight, so I think I'll keep them and...un-grow...into them.


I really love the design of the first one, but I think the other two might suit me better. Oh! And the dress has pockets! I didn't even know that when I ordered!

 

I love how much softer the materials are in women's wear.

 

It's funny, I've never, ever gotten excited about new clothes before in my life, and it was easy to just chalk that up to "Well duh, guys don't usually get excited about clothes." I guess for me it was a different reason after all! :D

 

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@Willow OMG! I am so sorry to hear that!!! *hugs* I have two young nieces and I couldn't bear to even imagine...So sorry! That cruise must have been so very special to her, and to all of you. I'm so glad they treated her so amazingly! There's not much in the world that compares with being made to feel like a princess!

 

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

 

I absolutely love these stories of trans-people serendipitously finding each other!!!

 

I've sometimes had little mini-fantasies about that. Like, if one of my co-workers would come out before me, help pave the way, and then I could quietly let them know "hey, I'm with you, I'm like you, you're not alone here". Or the other way around, if I came out at work and it inspired someone there to feel comfortable coming out to me.

 

Very closely related to that, I recently ordered one of those HRC equals-sign bumper stickers. Despite all the self-doubt I've been feeling, and hyperactive "what if it outs me?!?!" paranoid worries, and I'm even aware that HRC isn't universally loved among the full, entire LGBT+ community. But at the very least, politics aside, even more than waving a banner of equality, I want to be another voice helping any early-stage LGBT+ around know that they're not alone, and they have supporters.

 

@ElizabethStar: I haven't commented much on this before, but I've always been thrilled for you to hear all your stories of how well things are going being "out" at work!!! Cheers! ?

 

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

 

Hee heee, thanks, you really are a sweetheart! I feel like trans-sisters with you, since we're both at such a similar stages in all of this. (And because I've recently learned that I love singing ;) )

 

I was feeling SOO daunted by the idea of "OMG, how do I even BEGIN to go about looking for a gender therapist???" I'm very glad for you that you even have a list of candidates. For me, that was the hard part, just knowing where to start. I'm very much looking forward to hearing you proudly declare that you're seeing a good one :)

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2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

?

 

Thanks, Ann! ?

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    • Breezy Victor
      I was ten years old when my mom walked in on me frolicking around my room dressed up in her bra, panties, and some pantyhose. I had been doing this in the privacy of my bedroom for a little while now so I had my own little stash box I kept full of different panties, bras, etc ... of hers. My mom's underwear was so easy for me to come by and she was a very attractive woman, classy, elegant. Well when she walked in on me, she looked at me with disgust and said to me... "If I wanted to run around like mommy's little girl instead of mommy's little boy, then she was going to treat me like mommy's little girl."  She left my bedroom after telling me NOT to change or get dressed or anything and returned with a few of her work skirts and blouses and such. She made me model off her outfits for her and I have to admit ... I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I felt so sexy, and feminine. And she knew I loved it.  She told me we can do this every weekend if I'd like. It would be OUR little secret. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      At the same time there might be mtf boys who transitioned post-puberty who really belong on the girls' teams because they have more similarities there than with the boys, would perform at the same level, and might get injured playing with the bigger, stronger boys.   I well remember being an androgynous shrimp in gym class that I shared with seniors who played on the football team.  When PE was no longer mandatory, I was no longer in PE. They started some mixed PE classes the second semester, where we played volleyball and learned bowling and no longer mixed with those seniors, boys and girls together.
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