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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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@Emily michelle It is great to hear that you are changing for the better. LOL I have less than 30 days till I see the Endo about going on HRT with a blood thinner. I just hope the weather is good. Since it is down in Denver.  But If I have to fight through snow to get to be me would be worth it.

 

Can't stand my body. Up early on a day off. when I wanted to sleep in. Oh, Well I can take a nap later. Cup o coffee is nice and warming. this cold am with a forecast over night low to be 38 and today's high only 37. (don't know how that works)

 

I only have to go to my chiropractor later. I may also renew the tags on our MKZ. Luckily it is free since I have my DV plates on it.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

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@Victoria_ I love the wig and the whole look in the picture, it is very cute.

 

Just finished my first cup of coffee. Took the day off since I need to burn vacation time and I have two appointments today, psychiatry and therapy. I have a span between the two, so I am going to go for a walk in the park I think. My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen, which has been a happy surprise.

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@Victoria_ I agree - really cute photo

 

@QuestioningAmber the reduction of anxiety and calmness has been my favorite part of HRT so far - hoping the body starts doing its thing but I'm happy with anxiety and depression reduction - that along has reduced the gender dysphoria.

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On 10/20/2020 at 7:01 AM, Shay said:

I am drinking my 1 cup of daily coffee and I am feeling somewhat numb with the weather and having lost my first sibling on Sunday. I was able to say goodbye via FaceTime and he passed shortly after that. He has been in rest home for 5 years with Lewy body disease - the same thing Robin Williams had so his death doesn't unexpected but it did come quickly and I will always remember the look in his face. Hours later he passed. Anyway I hope your day is starting well and you are ready to face another day becoming the you you were always meant to be.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. Even when we know it's coming it is still heart wrenching.  Here's to remembering all that was good about his life.  Hang in there. 

Hugs

Bri

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6 hours ago, Victoria_ said:

First day with a wig, I’m feeling great, now I can recognize my true self ?

Very cute wig! 

 

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I've been on HRT for 7 weeks and didn't really feel any different until yesterday I became an emotional wreck over the stupidest things and started crying at commercials and -crap-. lol. My wife laughed pretty hard about my state.  I noticed the last week my nipples had become "sensitive" but then this morning looking in the mirror noticed they were "budding". I have to admit, I kinda freaked out.  I've been wanting this but to actually see a physical change occur made the HRT decision real for the first time for me.  I'm better now but I was really worried about the fact the I freaked out and began questioning whether that reaction might have been a sign I wasn't ready.  

In other fun news, A client came into the shop today and as we were talking asked how long I had been here. I thought he was asking about the biz so told him 11 years in this location then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue.  We had a great conversation about the differences in treatment availabilities and public acceptance and then went about our days.  I've been in biz for a long time and had no clue we had any trans clients.  It's really cool to know we do.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:00 PM, Shay said:

@QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 

Heather you need to road trip down to DC some weekend and we will go shopping.  I'm sure we can find some stuff to make you feel cute. In fact, I think we need to coordinate a shopping day for a bunch of us.

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2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair. 

 

Very cool story, @Bri2020!  We are everywhere.  Bwa-ha-ha!

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That is incredibly cool @Bri2020. That must have been a great conversation! I had a similar episode with one of my spouse's friends. We met up at my brother-in-law's funeral and she introduced herself to me. I smiled and said no, we met back in 1990. Then we played a round of "guess who?" with things like, "You were a bridesmaid at my wedding!" It was HUGE fun until my wife finally said, "She used to be <deadname>."

 

As for the emotional thing... you're never ready. It's a big new thing. Some of us get weepy. Some get more euphoric, but the hormones turn your emotional intensity from, "meh" to "OMG!" That takes a minute to get used to. Now that said, I know of people who could not handle the extra load from progesterone, but so long as your hormonal chemistry is normal (as in your endo is done adjusting), you'll get used to it soon enough. I'm two years in and still get blindsided occasionally. However, one of the happiest moments I've had since I started transitioning was when I'd been off hormones a few weeks in preparation for my GCS. I was reading something and it hit me in all the ways that you're feeling things now. I started to cry, then I started to laugh because a huge fear had dropped off my shoulders. Even without the hormones (though I could NOT WAIT to get back on), I was still the new, better me.

 

Hugs!

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Bri2020: " It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue. "

 

This is simply an amazing story!  How did you resist the temptation is sing jointly a chorus or two of "It's a Small World After All"?

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Five years ago today our 8 year old granddaughter lost her battle with brain cancer.  She went through three lengthy brain surgeries.  Months of radiation treatments.  She never complained and always had a smile for me.  Weekends she spent with my wife and I and the rest of the week she was in the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House.  
 

She asked to go on a Disney Cruise after we got the news that she had a limited number of weeks to live.  My daughter and I made that happen with logistical help from friends and family.  When we arrived, Disney staff met us at our car, walked us through and treated Daphne like the princess she was.  As well as her two sisters and the rest of us.  The matre’de cried when he learned of her fate.  
 

Daphne met and touched people all over the world.  Girl Scouts from all over sent her letters of care and love.  A special Rainbow patch was made to honor her.  Her catch phrases was “Don’t be sad, think of Rainbows!”  She came up with that and said it to her mother he when they were being helicoptered to a bigger hospital.

 

willow

 

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@Victoria_ You look great!

 

11 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen

 

Less anxiety? Sounds good, I could use some of that!

 

9 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago! 

 

That is such a cool story! Wow!

 

@Shay and @Emily michelle sorry to hear about both of your rough times. Also, this is the first I've heard of Transparent, I'm definitely going to take a look.

 

Well everyone,

 

Yesterday I finally heard back from the gender therapist I'd been hoping to start seeing. I was so excited to get that message, I was feeling this weird mix of half-shaking together with calmness (weight being lifted). The last few weeks this has all been feeling very sudden, and confusing, rollercoastery, and I've been really feeling a need to finally start talking things over with someone professionally trained trained in this stuff. I have my first appointment (virtual) a week from monday! I so can't wait to finally talk and what she has to say.

 

Also, earlier this week I had a routine follow-up with my GP, and decided it was time to finally be honest with her about both my drinking habit and the fact that I was looking for gender therapist. Since I still hadn't yet heard back from the therapist I was hoping for, I figured she might have some connections since I recently learned the organization she's with (The Cleveland Clinic) has two LGBT+ health centers. The meeting went well on all points, and it felt good to come out with my GP on both those things.

 

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into... :)

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A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

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For anyone who remembers the issues I was having with my therapist a few weeks ago. The fear was that there maybe issues (in ONE possible future) with trans-people getting medical care if they have GD in their file. It was staring to sound a little like a EULA ......if you are properly informed and willing to accept these risks....we can proceed.

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face. HR checked in with me today. I've been out doing a lot of field work lately and they wanted to make sure I haven't gotten crap from any customers. So far nothing to report.

 

I've been getting a lot more comfortable using she/her pronouns and references on myself. I didn't have a reason to use them before but now on service calls it's all "Hi I'm Elizabeth, you service girl. I'm here to fix your alarm".

 

 

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1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

??

20201022_224835_2.thumb.jpg.c598d34210fb7aec4e32fdd8de06ecdb.jpg

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@Willow It is so hard to lose someone so young.It seems like she met the challenge with a brave heart, and a loving heart.

 

It would absolutely devastate me if I ever lost one of my grandkids. If it was someone else fault, they wouldn't find the body so help me.

 

Kymmie

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@Heather Nicole 

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

And...

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Whatcha get? whatcha get?

Ya...let us know.

?

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face.

Elizabeth, glad to hear about work.  Your in the big scary outdoors, so we're watching closely.  I'm inspired by your courage.

?

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2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

@Heather NicoleWhatcha get? whatcha get?

 

Ha haa! :)

 

Not sure how much of that's just playing along, but you know what? I'm so happy with what I got, here they are:

 

(sorry admins if bandwidth is an issue here, I really hope it isn't. I tried using "insert image from url", but it didn't seem to work for me - I'm guessing because, as I've just learned, the server I tried using has out-of-date TLS...among other things...I really need to get that sorted out...)

 

20201022_231759_2.thumb.jpg.651020b3598e01b4588fcc961d06426a.jpg20201022_232120_2.thumb.jpg.8b45c8af297cf54fdbf7078a13be4357.jpg20201022_232727_2.thumb.jpg.332d47b29b21bb4b8ed2797ff3ec59e2.jpg

 

These are Torrid's size 3x. I think 4x might be a better fit, but I'm working on loosing weight, so I think I'll keep them and...un-grow...into them.


I really love the design of the first one, but I think the other two might suit me better. Oh! And the dress has pockets! I didn't even know that when I ordered!

 

I love how much softer the materials are in women's wear.

 

It's funny, I've never, ever gotten excited about new clothes before in my life, and it was easy to just chalk that up to "Well duh, guys don't usually get excited about clothes." I guess for me it was a different reason after all! :D

 

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@Willow OMG! I am so sorry to hear that!!! *hugs* I have two young nieces and I couldn't bear to even imagine...So sorry! That cruise must have been so very special to her, and to all of you. I'm so glad they treated her so amazingly! There's not much in the world that compares with being made to feel like a princess!

 

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

 

I absolutely love these stories of trans-people serendipitously finding each other!!!

 

I've sometimes had little mini-fantasies about that. Like, if one of my co-workers would come out before me, help pave the way, and then I could quietly let them know "hey, I'm with you, I'm like you, you're not alone here". Or the other way around, if I came out at work and it inspired someone there to feel comfortable coming out to me.

 

Very closely related to that, I recently ordered one of those HRC equals-sign bumper stickers. Despite all the self-doubt I've been feeling, and hyperactive "what if it outs me?!?!" paranoid worries, and I'm even aware that HRC isn't universally loved among the full, entire LGBT+ community. But at the very least, politics aside, even more than waving a banner of equality, I want to be another voice helping any early-stage LGBT+ around know that they're not alone, and they have supporters.

 

@ElizabethStar: I haven't commented much on this before, but I've always been thrilled for you to hear all your stories of how well things are going being "out" at work!!! Cheers! ?

 

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

 

Hee heee, thanks, you really are a sweetheart! I feel like trans-sisters with you, since we're both at such a similar stages in all of this. (And because I've recently learned that I love singing ;) )

 

I was feeling SOO daunted by the idea of "OMG, how do I even BEGIN to go about looking for a gender therapist???" I'm very glad for you that you even have a list of candidates. For me, that was the hard part, just knowing where to start. I'm very much looking forward to hearing you proudly declare that you're seeing a good one :)

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2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

?

 

Thanks, Ann! ?

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  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
    • VickySGV
      This was an angle that I was very suspicious of as well, and may be the hook on which the settlement was hung.      Not at all strange especially if they had former patients who moved there that still owed money on their bills or they were buying hospital supplies from a Texas corporation. They may have business licenses in other states as well.  Small loss, but saxeT shot itself in the foot there since the license was a source of income to the state. 
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