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KymmieL

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Hi ladies,

 

i have stayed away for about three weeks.  I don’t plan on going back to read all your wonderful posts.  I’ll just restart here.

 

My wife and I  went to our daughters house for a few days.  While there my son and his wife came to visit too.  That made it even more special.  Since we were all going our separate ways on Friday, the kids decided to talk to me about my being transgender.  Since my relationship with my wife is rather precarious I don’t force things on her like they did.  I didn’t  mind talking to them but to do so at the expense of their mother was difficult at best.  Our daughter in law wound up leading the questions. It went reasonably well. 
 

Willow

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ElizabethStar

Morning @Willow,

 

Missed you while you gone. I'm happy to hear things went good. Sometimes reasonably well is the best we can hope for.

 

I stared using my preferred name at work last week. It's nice to finally see, hear and use it.  I also outed myself and changed my name on facebook. So far it's been well received.

 

 

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@ElizabethStar I think you had a marvelous and rewarding week. I am glad for you... You deserve it.

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@Willow sounds like the most effective way to handle the scenario you were in and let it flow organically.

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Willow, you missed all the fun. We were all transformed into who we wanted to be. with everyone accepting who we where.

 

Then I woke up. LOL

 

Glad you had a good visit with your kids. I have my two grandsons here right now. it is great.

 

Hugs to all

Kymmie

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QuestioningAmber

Good Morning all. So I got a response from my Mom and she says she is going to support me unconditionally. I did hand my dad a note, but he couldn't read it right then and there and haven't heard back from him yet. I am hoping he just hasn't read it yet or that he is doing some reading like I suggested for them to do. That was an emotionally exhausting day, so today a friend and I are going to the Zoo this afternoon to walk around some and take some pictures, hopefully not worrying about the outstanding response.

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Thanks for all your kind thoughts.  Glad to know I was missed.  Just goes to show what good friends most of us are to each other.

 

Since October 11th is coming out day, I am strongly leaning towards doing that.  Since it’s a Sunday my thought was To go to church .  Any thoughts or suggestions?

 

Willow

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@QuestioningAmber wonder in regard to your mom... Great you asked them to read about it.... Super you are spending the day doing something fun 

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ElizabethStar

Good morning,

 

It's cold and rainy but got a big-o-cup of coffee helping me wake up.

 

Today marks the start of the first full week of fully being myself and going by Elizabeth at work. If I haven't mentioned it 42 times already, it feels surreal. Honestly I never though I would live long enough to experience life as myself. It feels so good to finally be out. I lied to myself for so long it was driving me mad and pushing me over the edge. I look back at all the inconsequential things I spent days worrying about. Now it's the important things like what am I going to wear today.

 

Thing at home have been changing for the better. A year ago we would fight over me painting nails. last month I was expected to, but didn't try very hard, dress like a man when we were out in public. Yesterday I wore flare jeans, semi-tight t-shirt, Helm's flag painted nails and heard nothing about it. Although my wife he and him-ed me the whole time, the realtor we met with knew what was up.

 

I think being out together and seeing that people don't have a negative reaction and engage me more in conversation is helping a lot.

 

Again, good morning everyone. Have a great day.

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@ElizabethStar being able to go out even just to the mall, didn’t matter, was something that has helped me get through an ugly patch.  I’m happy for you that your wife is coming around even if she still uses the wrong pronouns.  The question you have to ask yourself is does she do it out of habit or is it intended as disrespect?  Hopefully it is just a habit which will be hard to break.

 

hugs

 

Willow

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lauraincolumbia
3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

 

Today marks the start of the first full week of fully being myself and going by Elizabeth at work. If I haven't mentioned it 42 times already, it feels surreal. Honestly I never though I would live long enough to experience life as myself. It feels so good to finally be out. I lied to myself for so long it was driving me mad and pushing me over the edge. I look back at all the inconsequential things I spent days worrying about. Now it's the important things like what am I going to wear today.

 

 

Have a great week! I hope it all goes well for you!

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Good Morning all! 
 

@ElizabethStar That is wonderful news! It takes those around us a little sometimes to get things correct, be patient. I have had that same issue with pronouns so I just steer clear of them because I try and be mindful of others and what I don’t know. 
 

I am up this Monday morning with dread as I had to schedule a last minute visit with my GYN today because of bleeding issues from the granulation tissue. So back to her to have another silver nitrate treatment. Hoping for a better outcome this time, the pain I experienced after last time was intense! 
 

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

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Happy Sunday morning everyone. Well my Sunday. a brisk 22degrees on the back fence. Don't have much planned today. may do another purge of things I don't want or fit into. keep cutting down the collection. SO I don't have a much to move when the time comes. Of course there is way too much as it is. I keep seeing things that I say I need to take. It will depend on whens and whys of when I finally leave. What I take Etc.

 

Kylie, I hope that your gyn can give you some relief from your problem. Worse pain I have ever had was when I broke my ribs. asked what was my pain level from 0-10. I was saying 15.

 

Have a great day.

 

Kymmie

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@Kylie - I do understand some pain - I remember having a painful tooth and finding an evening service at Sears. Went in - the dentist said I had 2 options - pull the tooth or a root canal. I said there was a third option. He said what was it? I asked if he had a gun. Now I know it might sound gruesome but it is meant to be a pressure release and not meant to make you feel bad - smile things will be alright soon.

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QuestioningAmber

Good Morning,

 

Elizabeth - I am sure that is so affirming to start your first week as Elizabeth. I am so happy for you to be at that point.

 

Kylie - I am sorry that you are having such problems, hopefully GYN can help solve the problems shortly.

 

Kymmie - Cleaning up and organizing is never a bad thing. I know your circumstances are less than ideal, however, I think the purging things that don't fit will just mean you can eventually add to your collection more easily.

 

I am just starting my work week and am starting to feel some depression kicking in. I think it might have to do with waiting for a response with my dad still on coming out. It also might be related to the work that I am doing just isn't motivating right now. I am planning on doing a road trip with the wife on Friday to go to a place that is supposed to be open and accepting called Yellow Springs, OH. So that is something that is kind of getting me through the week.

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Thanks ladies. 8 weeks post-op today, many things have improved other than this excessive bleeding. Guess we will see how it goes this evening. I’ll follow up here. 
 

Kymmie, 22 degrees, sounds nice! I love cold weather. Have a good time purging, I’ll be doing the same once I recover. I’ve lost a lot of weight during my recovery. So new clothes soon!

 

Shay, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but the hours after silver nitrate were so painful. She used over 20 sticks of SN so I was cooked, talk about nerve pain where she burned some areas. 
 

Amber, that is wonderful you have weekend plans. That’ll help you get through the week at least! 😊

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Liz isn't it great to fully out there?  It's still very fresh for me after 2 months. It's gotten to the point where I'm just getting ready for the day like it's a normal day of picking out clothes, doing the makeup (what little I do) and going to work. I don't even think of myself as "trans" presenting as female, it's just normal o'l me.  I'm loving the posts you are making about this time because it's both special for you and makes me remember it wasn't that long ago that I was right there with you. 

This weekend was fun because in preparation for the upcoming wedding I'm attending I went to Sephora to get a "makeup consult". As soon I went in I asked the person checking people in at the door who I should talk to and she pointed me to "Seth". (I should have asked about pronouns since they were wearing full makeup ) Anyways, Seth was so happy and enthusiastic to be guiding me through it made for such a wonderful experience.  You can tell how trans friendly they are there because everyone popped by to get in on the action. lol.  We were all having so much fun.  The only challenge for me now is was on day 2 of my 5 days where I can't really wear makeup due to my electrolysis schedule so I have to wait a few more days to try everything out.

Even with my 3+days of beard growth I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.  Picked out a black and white flower print wrap dress and my 2" pumps for the day and I'm having a great hair day so.....  

Kylie I hope your OB/GYN visit is pain free :(

 

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On 9/27/2020 at 7:18 AM, Willow said:

Since my relationship with my wife is rather precarious I don’t force things on her like they did.  I didn’t  mind talking to them but to do so at the expense of their mother was difficult at best.  Our daughter in law wound up leading the questions. It went reasonably well. 

Good to see you back Willow,

My Suzie isn't comfortable about my transition either. I hope your wife knows that you appreciate and respect her discomfort with the subject of transition. The fact that you think it went reasonably well is a good thing, and if she didn't react negatively when you two were alone is another bonus.

 

My Suzie and I spent the day shopping for better fitting clothes with an androgynous/nonbinary look for me.

 

Weight loss good.

New clothes good.

 

Suzie helping with my sliding scale from Weld Shop Wear to a stylish colorful blend softening my lifestyle? #Winning and #Loved.

 

Oh by the way, my coffee is still hot, black, and strong.:coffee:

 

Monday HUGS for everyone,

 

Mindy🐛🌈🦋

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Top o' the . . . ah . . . mid-afternoon, everyone!

 

@ElizabethStar, I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you at work and better at home!

 

On 9/27/2020 at 6:45 AM, ElizabethStar said:

I stared using my preferred name at work last week. It's nice to finally see, hear and use it.  I also outed myself and changed my name on facebook. So far it's been well received.

 

What's in a name, right?  A lot, it seems, as I'm finding out.  After a false start and a lucky break, I'm finally seeing a gender therapist I think will be very good for me (note that I am way far back from you and most folks here on the 'self-acceptance curve').  During our second session, she asked me if I had a name for myself.  I told her "Jacqueline", or "Jacqui" for short, and she asked me if I wanted her to call me Jacqui.  That caught me unawares -- it's one thing to present yourself as a new identity in cyberspace, but quite another to take it on in the real world (even if only one other person is involved).  She saw my hesitation, went and got the fact sheet I completed when we first met, and told me I could cross out my legal name and put down any name I liked, which she would then use until I told her to stop.  Putting the question in the context of the fact sheet 'helped me through the door', and I crossed out my name and wrote "Jacqui".  It was kind of a 'wow' moment; it felt like I had set something free.  I had another 'wow' moment a couple hours later when she called me Jacqui on the receipt and appointment reminder that she emailed me.

 

I don't foresee asking her to stop. ☺️

 

Anyway, Liz, if you'll forgive the belated nature of this comment, I really love your current profile pic -- that sweet little Mona Lisa smile makes all the difference.  Lovely!

 

Hugs,

Jacqui

 

 

 

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Hi 

 

@Jacqui I think that’s great.  I sorta have two groups of doctors, those that live near me and know that I am transgender but have never seen Willow and those who who practice in Charleston at MUSC who know and do get to see Willow.  When they see Willow they get the name and pronouns right.  If they see my dying self, they use my legal name and pronouns.  
 

You see I wish I could make the break through you have made.  I haven’t because I am afraid of backlash.  You made up your mind and did it.  For that you are a better girl than I.  I salute you.

 

hugs 

 

Willow 

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All I got to say, this evening, 25 minutes with the gynecologist and the pain. Thank goodness she gave me a prescription for Oxycodone, hopefully it will start helping!

 

Hope you all have a good evening!

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Getting good news at work today,getting the president of human resources job at my workplace in a couple weeks.Current president of human resources is retiring next month and applied for it,she put out a big recommendation for me.Going to love it

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QuestioningAmber

@Jacqui I more recently put in a request at a LGBTQ+ Health Clinic locally, and used my chosen name in the contact form. A name does have some power and it is amazing when someone in the real world uses that name with me. I might actually start using Amber more often with my therapist to kind of get used to it.

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@Kylie. I forgot that I'm going to need to see a gynecologist after I get my bottom surgery.. lol. Oh the joy of womanhood. I'm going to need a gynecological exam, a mammogram, a prostate exam, and a colonoscopy.  Is there anything else that a doctor will have to do to either my bottom or my chest. lol

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Its Tuesday morning here in Sydney, and I've just put on the second pot of coffee for the day. @KymmieL, its also 22 degrees here today ... but 22C ... so 74F? Absolutely glorious morning. If I wasn't recovering from surgery I would be out on by bike turning over the pedals and enjoying the morning sunshine.

 

Tuesday is, and has been fro the past 18 months, electrolysis day!  I both love and hate Tuesdays. Hate because I cant shave today and the tiniest hair on my face is dysphoric for me. But love it because, despite the pain, ever little pin prick is one less hair I will have to ever shave again. We (the technician and I) have branched out over the last few weeks to work on my eyebrows. This week I have left mine to grow unchecked for 5 days! Its looking really wild up there this morning. Can't wait until this afternoon when they have all been zapped and I can shave the stragglers and put on some makeup.

 

Kylie, Im sorry to hear about your pain and I hope the oxycodone does the trick for you. I had a little pain last week, but found panedeine forte did the trick ... but I realise my pain was nothing like the pain you must be feeling. So ... hugs.

 

@ElizabethStar, Im so looking forward to hearing how your first day as Elizabeth went - I hope everyone at work was lovely to you. So exciting!

 

@Jacqui congratulations on using your preferred name! I had a similar experience at the hospital last week. I told the nurse I was on HRT for gender dysphoria and she then immediately asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I panicked! No one had ever asked me that before! I mumbled something like "I don't care..." but she began calling me "she" and "her" from then on and so did all of the other staff. It was wonderful!

 

@KendraML congratulations on the new job! I hope it turns out to be everything you hoped for.

 

@Bri2020 A Sephora makeup consult would be a dream come true for me. I don't yet have the courage to try ... maybe next year after the HRT faeries have done some more work ...

 

@Mmindy glad you enjoyed the shopping. Is the a sub on here where we show off clothes and styles? Id really like some fresh ideas. Maybe you can post some pics?

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