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On 9/25/2020 at 1:08 PM, Bri2020 said:

I just want to run down to the DMV and get my license changed now but I'm holding off until after the election so my voter registration doesn't get messed up.  

A wise move. Every vote is so important in these unsettling times!  Congratulations and hugs,



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6 hours ago, Astrid said:

A wise move. Every vote is so important in these unsettling times!  Congratulations and hugs,



Yeah. Fingers crossed for November. Even here in Australia we're on tender hooks waiting to see what happens.

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Hi ladies,


i have stayed away for about three weeks.  I don’t plan on going back to read all your wonderful posts.  I’ll just restart here.


My wife and I  went to our daughters house for a few days.  While there my son and his wife came to visit too.  That made it even more special.  Since we were all going our separate ways on Friday, the kids decided to talk to me about my being transgender.  Since my relationship with my wife is rather precarious I don’t force things on her like they did.  I didn’t  mind talking to them but to do so at the expense of their mother was difficult at best.  Our daughter in law wound up leading the questions. It went reasonably well. 


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Morning @Willow,


Missed you while you gone. I'm happy to hear things went good. Sometimes reasonably well is the best we can hope for.


I stared using my preferred name at work last week. It's nice to finally see, hear and use it.  I also outed myself and changed my name on facebook. So far it's been well received.



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@ElizabethStar I think you had a marvelous and rewarding week. I am glad for you... You deserve it.

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@Willow sounds like the most effective way to handle the scenario you were in and let it flow organically.

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Willow, you missed all the fun. We were all transformed into who we wanted to be. with everyone accepting who we where.


Then I woke up. LOL


Glad you had a good visit with your kids. I have my two grandsons here right now. it is great.


Hugs to all


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Good Morning all. So I got a response from my Mom and she says she is going to support me unconditionally. I did hand my dad a note, but he couldn't read it right then and there and haven't heard back from him yet. I am hoping he just hasn't read it yet or that he is doing some reading like I suggested for them to do. That was an emotionally exhausting day, so today a friend and I are going to the Zoo this afternoon to walk around some and take some pictures, hopefully not worrying about the outstanding response.

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Thanks for all your kind thoughts.  Glad to know I was missed.  Just goes to show what good friends most of us are to each other.


Since October 11th is coming out day, I am strongly leaning towards doing that.  Since it’s a Sunday my thought was To go to church .  Any thoughts or suggestions?



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@QuestioningAmber wonder in regard to your mom... Great you asked them to read about it.... Super you are spending the day doing something fun 

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Good morning,


It's cold and rainy but got a big-o-cup of coffee helping me wake up.


Today marks the start of the first full week of fully being myself and going by Elizabeth at work. If I haven't mentioned it 42 times already, it feels surreal. Honestly I never though I would live long enough to experience life as myself. It feels so good to finally be out. I lied to myself for so long it was driving me mad and pushing me over the edge. I look back at all the inconsequential things I spent days worrying about. Now it's the important things like what am I going to wear today.


Thing at home have been changing for the better. A year ago we would fight over me painting nails. last month I was expected to, but didn't try very hard, dress like a man when we were out in public. Yesterday I wore flare jeans, semi-tight t-shirt, Helm's flag painted nails and heard nothing about it. Although my wife he and him-ed me the whole time, the realtor we met with knew what was up.


I think being out together and seeing that people don't have a negative reaction and engage me more in conversation is helping a lot.


Again, good morning everyone. Have a great day.

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@ElizabethStar being able to go out even just to the mall, didn’t matter, was something that has helped me get through an ugly patch.  I’m happy for you that your wife is coming around even if she still uses the wrong pronouns.  The question you have to ask yourself is does she do it out of habit or is it intended as disrespect?  Hopefully it is just a habit which will be hard to break.





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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:



Today marks the start of the first full week of fully being myself and going by Elizabeth at work. If I haven't mentioned it 42 times already, it feels surreal. Honestly I never though I would live long enough to experience life as myself. It feels so good to finally be out. I lied to myself for so long it was driving me mad and pushing me over the edge. I look back at all the inconsequential things I spent days worrying about. Now it's the important things like what am I going to wear today.



Have a great week! I hope it all goes well for you!

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Good Morning all! 

@ElizabethStar That is wonderful news! It takes those around us a little sometimes to get things correct, be patient. I have had that same issue with pronouns so I just steer clear of them because I try and be mindful of others and what I don’t know. 

I am up this Monday morning with dread as I had to schedule a last minute visit with my GYN today because of bleeding issues from the granulation tissue. So back to her to have another silver nitrate treatment. Hoping for a better outcome this time, the pain I experienced after last time was intense! 

Hope everyone has a wonderful Monday!

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Happy Sunday morning everyone. Well my Sunday. a brisk 22degrees on the back fence. Don't have much planned today. may do another purge of things I don't want or fit into. keep cutting down the collection. SO I don't have a much to move when the time comes. Of course there is way too much as it is. I keep seeing things that I say I need to take. It will depend on whens and whys of when I finally leave. What I take Etc.


Kylie, I hope that your gyn can give you some relief from your problem. Worse pain I have ever had was when I broke my ribs. asked what was my pain level from 0-10. I was saying 15.


Have a great day.



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@Kylie - I do understand some pain - I remember having a painful tooth and finding an evening service at Sears. Went in - the dentist said I had 2 options - pull the tooth or a root canal. I said there was a third option. He said what was it? I asked if he had a gun. Now I know it might sound gruesome but it is meant to be a pressure release and not meant to make you feel bad - smile things will be alright soon.

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Good Morning,


Elizabeth - I am sure that is so affirming to start your first week as Elizabeth. I am so happy for you to be at that point.


Kylie - I am sorry that you are having such problems, hopefully GYN can help solve the problems shortly.


Kymmie - Cleaning up and organizing is never a bad thing. I know your circumstances are less than ideal, however, I think the purging things that don't fit will just mean you can eventually add to your collection more easily.


I am just starting my work week and am starting to feel some depression kicking in. I think it might have to do with waiting for a response with my dad still on coming out. It also might be related to the work that I am doing just isn't motivating right now. I am planning on doing a road trip with the wife on Friday to go to a place that is supposed to be open and accepting called Yellow Springs, OH. So that is something that is kind of getting me through the week.

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Thanks ladies. 8 weeks post-op today, many things have improved other than this excessive bleeding. Guess we will see how it goes this evening. I’ll follow up here. 

Kymmie, 22 degrees, sounds nice! I love cold weather. Have a good time purging, I’ll be doing the same once I recover. I’ve lost a lot of weight during my recovery. So new clothes soon!


Shay, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but the hours after silver nitrate were so painful. She used over 20 sticks of SN so I was cooked, talk about nerve pain where she burned some areas. 

Amber, that is wonderful you have weekend plans. That’ll help you get through the week at least! 😊

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Liz isn't it great to fully out there?  It's still very fresh for me after 2 months. It's gotten to the point where I'm just getting ready for the day like it's a normal day of picking out clothes, doing the makeup (what little I do) and going to work. I don't even think of myself as "trans" presenting as female, it's just normal o'l me.  I'm loving the posts you are making about this time because it's both special for you and makes me remember it wasn't that long ago that I was right there with you. 

This weekend was fun because in preparation for the upcoming wedding I'm attending I went to Sephora to get a "makeup consult". As soon I went in I asked the person checking people in at the door who I should talk to and she pointed me to "Seth". (I should have asked about pronouns since they were wearing full makeup ) Anyways, Seth was so happy and enthusiastic to be guiding me through it made for such a wonderful experience.  You can tell how trans friendly they are there because everyone popped by to get in on the action. lol.  We were all having so much fun.  The only challenge for me now is was on day 2 of my 5 days where I can't really wear makeup due to my electrolysis schedule so I have to wait a few more days to try everything out.

Even with my 3+days of beard growth I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.  Picked out a black and white flower print wrap dress and my 2" pumps for the day and I'm having a great hair day so.....  

Kylie I hope your OB/GYN visit is pain free :(


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On 9/27/2020 at 7:18 AM, Willow said:

Since my relationship with my wife is rather precarious I don’t force things on her like they did.  I didn’t  mind talking to them but to do so at the expense of their mother was difficult at best.  Our daughter in law wound up leading the questions. It went reasonably well. 

Good to see you back Willow,

My Suzie isn't comfortable about my transition either. I hope your wife knows that you appreciate and respect her discomfort with the subject of transition. The fact that you think it went reasonably well is a good thing, and if she didn't react negatively when you two were alone is another bonus.


My Suzie and I spent the day shopping for better fitting clothes with an androgynous/nonbinary look for me.


Weight loss good.

New clothes good.


Suzie helping with my sliding scale from Weld Shop Wear to a stylish colorful blend softening my lifestyle? #Winning and #Loved.


Oh by the way, my coffee is still hot, black, and strong.:coffee:


Monday HUGS for everyone,



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Top o' the . . . ah . . . mid-afternoon, everyone!


@ElizabethStar, I'm glad to hear that things are going well for you at work and better at home!


On 9/27/2020 at 6:45 AM, ElizabethStar said:

I stared using my preferred name at work last week. It's nice to finally see, hear and use it.  I also outed myself and changed my name on facebook. So far it's been well received.


What's in a name, right?  A lot, it seems, as I'm finding out.  After a false start and a lucky break, I'm finally seeing a gender therapist I think will be very good for me (note that I am way far back from you and most folks here on the 'self-acceptance curve').  During our second session, she asked me if I had a name for myself.  I told her "Jacqueline", or "Jacqui" for short, and she asked me if I wanted her to call me Jacqui.  That caught me unawares -- it's one thing to present yourself as a new identity in cyberspace, but quite another to take it on in the real world (even if only one other person is involved).  She saw my hesitation, went and got the fact sheet I completed when we first met, and told me I could cross out my legal name and put down any name I liked, which she would then use until I told her to stop.  Putting the question in the context of the fact sheet 'helped me through the door', and I crossed out my name and wrote "Jacqui".  It was kind of a 'wow' moment; it felt like I had set something free.  I had another 'wow' moment a couple hours later when she called me Jacqui on the receipt and appointment reminder that she emailed me.


I don't foresee asking her to stop. ☺️


Anyway, Liz, if you'll forgive the belated nature of this comment, I really love your current profile pic -- that sweet little Mona Lisa smile makes all the difference.  Lovely!







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@Jacqui I think that’s great.  I sorta have two groups of doctors, those that live near me and know that I am transgender but have never seen Willow and those who who practice in Charleston at MUSC who know and do get to see Willow.  When they see Willow they get the name and pronouns right.  If they see my dying self, they use my legal name and pronouns.  

You see I wish I could make the break through you have made.  I haven’t because I am afraid of backlash.  You made up your mind and did it.  For that you are a better girl than I.  I salute you.





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All I got to say, this evening, 25 minutes with the gynecologist and the pain. Thank goodness she gave me a prescription for Oxycodone, hopefully it will start helping!


Hope you all have a good evening!

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Getting good news at work today,getting the president of human resources job at my workplace in a couple weeks.Current president of human resources is retiring next month and applied for it,she put out a big recommendation for me.Going to love it

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@Jacqui I more recently put in a request at a LGBTQ+ Health Clinic locally, and used my chosen name in the contact form. A name does have some power and it is amazing when someone in the real world uses that name with me. I might actually start using Amber more often with my therapist to kind of get used to it.

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    • MaryMary
      Well, first of all they are entitled to their opinions but it doesn't change anything at all about my reality and the rest of the society. It's just that, their opinions. Also, a lot of things they say is just simply ignorant. They was I see myself is male (like in the expression AMAB).   So if you are someone who see gender totally biogically then yes, I'm a male. That's something I have no control over and that people imposed on me at my birth. I spent a lot of my teenage years going from doctors to doctors because I had ... anatomy related particularities. I'm not intersex but I know what they are going trough because I lived a good portion of it. Enough, in fact, to know both by experience and knowledge that a lot of what they are saying is just not true.   Examples : 1: I know of a person (let's stay gender neutral for the good of the argument) who was intersex. That person was a lab rat all their childhood and at some point they forced them to have male genitals. They don't have womb because of the way the intersex thing was expressed in their development. Yet, they do have XX chromosome and they do have no womb and do have male genitals.   Now, what happens then you think? To me this is a case that express just where they go wrong with their arguments. That person don't identify as male. They just don't. They don't have a womb, don't have and really never had female genitals. They also express themselves in a very masculine way. But still, they identify themselves as a woman and to them it's a form of medical horror that someone dared give them a male genitalia without their consent when they were young.    So what are they? A woman. Why, really???? Because they identify as such. They do have the XX but nobody knows that except themselves and the 100 doctors they saw growing up, lol And more importantly they knew at 30 years old the fact that they had XX chromosome.   2:   Another intersex person that have gone trough the same process as me or others were born with XX, were assigned male genitalia and they are perfectly happy with that and identify as a man. But, they have XX so biogically they are female no? Yet, nothing... nothing about them is female except the chromosome. Are they a woman or a man? Well, a man because they identify as such.   In conclusion, in my opinion, identities are built in the brain. It's a result of zones of our brains developing a certain way and growing in a certain way. It's not "female" brain or "male" brains. It's just the identity software in the brain that is that way. It's also not necessarely related to the soul or other religious beliefs. It's something physical that happens in the brain. To link gender and identities with biological markers are misleading because like I always say if a woman have a big cancer and they must remove the womb, the genitalia and the breasts she will still be a woman. In fact, it's critical for us to realise that for the well being of that person.   Do my examples deal with exceptions? Yes. Trans persons are also the exception. The last statistic I saw is that we are 0.3% of the total population. For me, it's a question of respect. Be it cancer, intersex, transgender or anything else that might affect identity. It's a very small thing to respect the other and use the right pronouns.   If that person want to be activist and have an opinion then good on them. But, that doesn't change anything. The sad thing here is that they are victim and we also are victim of the simplification we make when talking about biological sex. The chromosomes are a good example. XX, XY, I agree that for most people those are good enough and you can extrapolate the gender based on that. But it's not true for everybody. It's not always that simple and that clear.  Some have XX, some XY, some XXY, some XXX, some just X, I've read some articles where people were having a mix! yes! lol   For me it's a question of respect and letting everybody have a chance to emancipate the way they want. Me, I don't know what are my chromosome yet. My family doctor think I am intersex. Many doctors thaught that over the years. I really don't think so... wishfull thinking is my main thaught about that, lol I know I'm trans (or any other words that express that reality) since I'm very young and my voice didn't matured. I had to learn how to talk with a deep voice. I saw many gynechologists growing up without knowing what they wanted and why they were observing me. I identify as a woman and that's should be enough for everybody.   that was my 2 cents... a long post like that it's more like 10 cents at least. lol  
    • Victoria94
      Hello everyone. Been a while since I went on here and wrote, but it has been a really stressfull time. With both my inner struggle and a lot of working. (Yes I tend to work a lot of night shifts when I need to be by myself and think things over) Wanted to keep everyone updated since you all have been so welcoming and offered so much help and inputs.   Since I told my friend about me ha have been very suportive. I told him I was gonna start growing my hair out, but everytime someone comented on how long my hair have become I usally ended up skinning it off. Which he offered me to use him as an "excuse" in that we had both agreed to save our hair to some donation. And if anyone asked my if I was gonna cut it of soon they should call him.   He also helped me get through to my mother as well and got her to realise that I needed to tell her something. She have been maybe a bit to suportive to be hones.😅 She started telling me about other people in the same situation as me as if she was teaching me about the subject, but dhould have realised that she would be a bit much to handle. Had to stop her when she asked if I wanted her to tell my sister about me. Honestly I know she wants to help, but telling my sister should be up to me. And she is coming home tomorow. I am really wondering how and when to tell her and how she will react. All in all I really start to look brighter on things. Might gonna relocate to a bigger town where there is a comunity I can lean on. But for now I am going to the doctor on monday and ask to be sent up to my therapist again and start up where I left things.   I just have to say thanks to you all as well. It was a little nudge from you all, but it set things in motion again and made me feel better.   Love Victoria
    • MaryMary
      Yes, loved that too. I was waking up at night to feed the babies because I liked holding them skin to skin and singing beatles songs like let it be to them (hey, my name is mary so it's my lullaby song lol) I also went to those meetings moms have with my ex and talked with the girls (mostly listen and sometimes talk). I also took the courses for breastfeeding with my ex and knew everything there is to know about that, lol I also created a Mary profile back then and was on a couple of mom facebook groups. I did everything there was to do back then and still my brain is pretty much always thinking about them, how to best do my job of raising them.   I did everything I could, I was loving having children and still love them more then anything.   The male front to me was just that, a front. One thing I realized at the birth of my son is that the male front was not adapted to do the job of father at all. In fact, the real me, Mary is still 100% better at parenting and being the father then the male front could ever be. The birth of my son was the event that basically made it impossible for the male front to keep his dominent possition in my brain. That was the beginning of the end for him. From the birth of my son and since then it'S been Mary all the way and the male front took less and less place until I came out and it died.   Since I took the breastfeeding courses and all I know full well how though and not as instinctive it is for many woman. We think of breastfeeding as something that's natural and automatic but it's far from the case. Many cis woman are not able to do it at all because they lack the education to do it properly or they just can't for other reasons. That's way back in the days there was such a think as womans that were professionnal breastfeeders. There was also a need for woman to get together and actually learn how to do it from older, more experienced woman.   I'm proud when I look back at how it went for me that I was able to help my ex a lot in being able to do it properly. She breastfed the two and it went very well. Also, it's a good think to be skin to skin with a baby and there's no shame in the baby being close to you and your breast. My ex was collecting her milk when she was not able to breastfeed and I was giving the bottle to them and was very close. It happened once that the baby caught a bit of skin and they are sucking hard lol No wonder some woman find it painfull.   The funny thing is to see a newborn baby try to feed and to see just how bad they are at it in the beginning. It becomes easier with the mother learning but also the baby learning 🤣
    • ElizabethStar
      @AbiI'm in the Northern end of Illinois. My town is allowing it. we've only had one kid so far.
    • KymmieL
      I remember at least twice my mom asking me if I wanted to dress as a girl for begging. Of course, my answer was no. I was to manly to dress as a girl.   my how things change. Well today was a bad anniversary, it was last year. It was the first time I fully dressed and went out. I felt so free and alive.  but came home to my unaccepting  wife and youngest. The defecation hit the rotary oscillator.   Kymmie
    • QuestioningAmber
      I actually have envy too of being able to carry children and the idea of being able to breastfeed a child that I carried. I had a fantasy with my wife that she would have one child, we would then swap body parts, and I would carry the second. I know it is just fantasy, and it is part of the reason I don't feel like we could have children (the list is longer than that) because it would trigger so much discomfort for me.
    • QuestioningAmber
      I distinctly doing a Halloween as a girl and only last like 2 or 3 periods in High School. I even tricked a friend into joining an "all girls" Halloween Party that we threw at our apartment in college and each costume had to be female. Oh the times when Halloween felt like the only safe chance I had to be my feminine self because it was all for fun, right? *shifts eyes back and forth*
    • KathyLauren
      By saying that no trans woman is a woman because “woman” means adult female, they are saying that “adult female” means someone born with a vagina, because that is the only attribute of “women” that trans women do not possess.  Yet they later deny that they are “biological essentialists”, thus leaving “adult female” undefined.  Since their entire discussion rests on the definition of “adult female”, the logic of the entire discussion fails.   I am an adult female, a woman, because I was born with a female mind.  There is plenty of evidence that human brains are gender-dimorphism, supporting the concept of a female mind.
    • Emily michelle
      I really wish I could carry a child. I would gladly take a period too. I asked my endocrinologist if I would be able to breastfeed when my wife and I have a baby. She said that since I’m on spiro I can’t apparently it’s not good for milk and also she doesn’t think I could make enough milk. If something happens and I could I would do it in a heartbeat.
    • Astrid
      One way you can chose to come out is by letter.  This is the way that I chose, and there are several others in the Transpulse community who have done the same.  It gives you a chance to carefully decide what you want to say and how to say it (which can be hard if you come out in a speech when you're nervous).     Hugs, and best wishes on your journey ahead!   Astrid
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Sukey.  Your English is excellent, so congrats on that!  I wish you all the best if you choose to come out to your parents.  Good luck with transitioning in China.  I would imagine it will not be easy.  Please do look around the forums and post questions and comments.  We'll be there to support you.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jandi
      I always loved watching my ex nursing our children, and was very jealous of her. One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!  I was completely taken by surprise.  (I considered myself a straight cis guy at the time) I have never forgotten the feeling - even though there was nothing for her of course. Just thinking about it now…  
    • shelly_koleva83
      I want to add that 'male' and 'man', 'female' and 'woman' are not the same. They are separate and they are a bit related to each other, commonly, but not always. I get that for myself! 
    • shelly_koleva83
      Interesting!  Would you explain to me like perceiving that I am a total dummy, how their premise is false?    I get that the whole 'female' term is build on the pure physiological and anatomical 'distinction' between 'men' and 'women'. So, I don't think that genitals determine people, because I know women born with vaginas who are worst than men as aggressors, bullies, etc. But they build their case on this - overrating people genitals to extent that people think that 'female body' defines ' woman' as a role, identity, etc. So, we are forced to accept that we have what is determined by humans (nature don't put and don't cares about labels. Nature allow us to survive GCSurgery), to be 'male body'/organism who has the genital function to impregnate, eventually, nothing more. Okay! But that is just a function that many of us don't relate at all. Many of us don't relate in this way with their penises at all. If tomorrow I woke up with vagina, I will be as better as that 'philosopher' even better!    Please, share your point of view with more details! Write me on PM if you like! 
    • VickySGV
      She had to include Whitmer as the CIC of the General in order to reach the General. The old "just following orders" defense made infamous at Nuremberg.  It will be interesting if Whitmer's response it to tell the General to knock off the policy though.  My question is why this is in Federal Court when for now it is a state matter.  Legal tactics can be as strange as military tactics.  Lets hope the case becomes moot in the next three months.
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