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KymmieL

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ElizabethStar

My first Monday went pretty good. It was slow so I kept score to see how it went.

I receive a total of 51 calls. I got my name right on 48 of the calls but I had 2 customer ask for me by my dead name so I only dropped the ball 1 time. I was ma'am and sir 1 time each  by customers. The customer that sir-ed me obviously didn't listen to my introduction as I got my name right. Our IT guy also called me sir, literally, right after we correctly my name on my mobile email we forgot to check.

 

I only got dead named about a half dozen times by co-workers. Most of them awkwardly corrected themselves right away so I let it go. I will give them a little more time since it's only been official for 2 full days but I'm going to start gently correcting people when they get it wrong or just flat-out ignore them. I figure eventually they'll get tired of being corrected or ignored and get it right.

 

So much is happening here. Reaching mile stone, new jobs, new experiences and a slightly problematic recovery. I do read every post on this thread and wish I had a higher capacity for expressing how I feel for everyone here and what your all going through. You are all amazing and have helped me more that you will ever know.

 

 

 

Lots of Love

 

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Berni said:

Its Tuesday morning here in Sydney, and I've just put on the second pot of coffee for the day. @KymmieL, its also 22 degrees here today ... but 22C ... so 74F? Absolutely glorious morning. If I wasn't recovering from surgery I would be out on by bike turning over the pedals and enjoying the morning sunshine.

 

Tuesday is, and has been fro the past 18 months, electrolysis day!  I both love and hate Tuesdays. Hate because I cant shave today and the tiniest hair on my face is dysphoric for me. But love it because, despite the pain, ever little pin prick is one less hair I will have to ever shave again. We (the technician and I) have branched out over the last few weeks to work on my eyebrows. This week I have left mine to grow unchecked for 5 days! Its looking really wild up there this morning. Can't wait until this afternoon when they have all been zapped and I can shave the stragglers and put on some makeup.

 

Kylie, Im sorry to hear about your pain and I hope the oxycodone does the trick for you. I had a little pain last week, but found panedeine forte did the trick ... but I realise my pain was nothing like the pain you must be feeling. So ... hugs.

 

@ElizabethStar, Im so looking forward to hearing how your first day as Elizabeth went - I hope everyone at work was lovely to you. So exciting!

 

@Jacqui congratulations on using your preferred name! I had a similar experience at the hospital last week. I told the nurse I was on HRT for gender dysphoria and she then immediately asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I panicked! No one had ever asked me that before! I mumbled something like "I don't care..." but she began calling me "she" and "her" from then on and so did all of the other staff. It was wonderful!

 

@KendraML congratulations on the new job! I hope it turns out to be everything you hoped for.

 

@Bri2020 A Sephora makeup consult would be a dream come true for me. I don't yet have the courage to try ... maybe next year after the HRT faeries have done some more work ...

 

@Mmindy glad you enjoyed the shopping. Is the a sub on here where we show off clothes and styles? Id really like some fresh ideas. Maybe you can post some pics?

Looking towards it and always wanted it,we always worked together very well knowing I would be good at it.Two other people applied for it,they liked my resume better

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@Willow and @QuestioningAmber, thanks for your thoughtful replies!

 

Willow, while I am grateful for your kind, supportive words, I'm not sure I deserve all that much credit!  Only my gender therapist is going to deal with me face-to-face as Jacqui.  You go out as Willow when you are in Charleston, where multiple people know you as her.  What's more, Jacqui has never 'put herself together' yet (my profile pic is courtesy of FaceApp, using a 10-year old picture of me).  Willow has a look already -- hairstyle, clothes, jewelry (I love your starfish earrings, by the way) -- and you have faced someplace in the world as your true self.  I am dieting, letting my hair grow, and doing a lot of planning, but that's it for now (unless my self-acceptance takes the form of a step-wise progression where I eventually wind up attending my therapy sessions in full feminine regalia -- talk about a wow moment!  I think I'd have to find a 'big sister' to help me get to that point.  Right now I have trouble visualizing myself that way just walking from my car to the therapist's door!)

 

By the way, when you are in Charleston, have you ever tried the restaurant called "Husk"?  It's supposed to be pretty special -- all locally-sourced cuisine.  I read about it in a New Yorker article some years ago.

 

Amber, I'm glad that you are finding opportunities to use your preferred name (which is beautiful, by the way).  I'm a little surprised your therapist has not offered to use your preferred name in your sessions (unless they are not doing gender therapy with you).

 

 

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11 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

@Kylie. I forgot that I'm going to need to see a gynecologist after I get my bottom surgery.. lol. Oh the joy of womanhood. I'm going to need a gynecological exam, a mammogram, a prostate exam, and a colonoscopy.  Is there anything else that a doctor will have to do to either my bottom or my chest. lol

 

On the plus side, if you get full depth, your doctor will be checking your prostate from the front.

 

Hugs!

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Emily michelle

Hi everyone! Nothing too exciting here just letting my foot heel it managed to get crushed but not to bad. 
 

I did notice it is hard to keep my E patch on. I was thinking of putting surgical tape on top of the patch. 
Im looking forward to my laser appointment tomorrow evening. 
 

Have a good day everyone!

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Morning to all my friends. Up and somewhat going, so far. first day back to work after 5 days off. I don't want to go back to the chaos. I am getting so tired of the BS at the store. We are supposed to get 2 new hires. One yesterday newbie and one tomorrow a transfer. Who knows. I guess I will find out more when I get in.

 

Have a great day everyone.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

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2 hours ago, Emily michelle said:

I was thinking of putting surgical tape on top of the patch. 

I had a similar kind if patch that never wanted to hold and I did the same thing. I just put a little strip across the top and bottom of the patch and that made a world of difference. Hope you have as good of luck as I did.

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Bobbie Scott

Good morning girls.Be glad when I get the courage to put myself out there. Mean time, taking it as it comes. Hope everyone has a great day. 🥰

 

 

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QuestioningAmber

The coffee was fine this morning, the depression meter is starting to creep up today. I think it is partially work and partially just the coming out process, as I am still awaiting my dad's response. It now has been four days since I gave him the note and haven't heard back. I am just feeling drained and bleh. Trying to keep the coffee energy going, though it is starting to head towards time for soda with lunch.

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19 hours ago, Berni said:

 

 

Tuesday is, and has been fro the past 18 months, electrolysis day!  I both love and hate Tuesdays. Hate because I cant shave today and the tiniest hair on my face is dysphoric for me. But love it because, despite the pain, ever little pin prick is one less hair I will have to ever shave again. 

 

 

 

@Bri2020 A Sephora makeup consult would be a dream come true for me. I don't yet have the courage to try ... maybe next year after the HRT faeries have done some more work ...

 

@Mmindy glad you enjoyed the shopping. Is the a sub on here where we show off clothes and styles? Id really like some fresh ideas. Maybe you can post some pics?

I feel your pain-literally. Tuesdays are my electrolysis days as well. 90 minutes of fun;).  I struggle Sunday-Tuesday with my dysphoria as the hair grows :(

 

If you can find a friend to go with you to Sephora that might make it easier.  I have to say- the company is uber Trans friendly.  They have been a leader in the industry in embracing us so I am confident that they will be gracious and supporting.  I found that if you just own it right from the moment you walk in and say "hey- I am new to this whole makeup thing and desperately need your help, is there anyone here that can take on this project?" they will line up to help you.

I did start a "fashion thread" it's not getting much action though.

 

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Good Afternoon! 
 

Im a little late today, been resting from the trauma yesterday! Ha.

 

@Bri2020 love the photo! Looking good.

 

Thanks to everyone for all the thoughts, I feel better today. 🙂

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3 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

The coffee was fine this morning, the depression meter is starting to creep up today. I think it is partially work and partially just the coming out process, as I am still awaiting my dad's response. It now has been four days since I gave him the note and haven't heard back. I am just feeling drained and bleh. Trying to keep the coffee energy going, though it is starting to head towards time for soda with lunch.

 

Hang in there - waiting sucks but it's part of the journey - teaches patience - keep busy - keep mind ocupied and remember your mom is now an ally and that in itself a very fulfilling feeling - embrace it.

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@Kylie glad you are feeling better - one day at a time - you have so much going on - including the new job - enough stress for 4 people. Hang in - you have a lot of love here.

 

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12 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

On the plus side, if you get full depth, your doctor will be checking your prostate from the front.

 

Hugs!

The plus side is that I'm getting full depth so who ever I'm with will be checking my prostate on a regular basis. Lol

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2 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

The plus side is that I'm getting full depth so who ever I'm with will be checking my prostate on a regular basis. Lol

 

Or at least they'd better! 😡

 

Hugs!

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2 hours ago, Jackie C. said:

 

Or at least they'd better! 😡

 

Hugs!

Yeah!  lol. I get the feeling that I'm going to make sure they check at least once or twice a week.. lol

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"Good morning sir .. "

 

Honestly, some days this is absolutely exhausting!

 

Having my morning coffee at the local mall. Despite the misgendering, I refuse to feel anything but radiant today.

 

Hope everyone has a great one.20200930_100047.thumb.jpg.9ff6394368ec0667e8acfbfd5374dd3f.jpg

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1 hour ago, Berni said:

I refuse to feel anything but radiant today

 

. . . and you are!

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ElizabethStar

@BerniYou got mis-gendered looking like that? Seriously?!?  WTH?

 

I have a feeling the next month or so  is going to be filled with firsts. I was sent a message to call a customer that I had worked with last week but wasn't told he asked for me by my dead-name. I called him as Elizabeth. I had talk about myself in 3rd person. "yeah, sorry he's not available, I'm happy to help" I was so worried I was going to accidentally out myself trying to explain how I know so much about the problem. I ended up using the "I overheard him (me) working on this last week" excuse. I was able to get through solving the issue. Of course, then he tells me to thank dead-name-me for getting the answers for him.

 

I'm sure it will happen again and I will just calmly work through it.

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Great news from the Superior Court of California. I just got the decree from the court making Erikka Rakel Ingebretsen my legal name! The sad part is that a friend of 60 years has written me off. When I told her this is who I am, she asked me why I had to change name. I explained why my dead brought such sad, painful memories (a violent, physically abusive father who didn't want to father a third and made it quite plain how unwanted I was). After explaining she didn't respond. That was a week ago and she has removed me from her friends list. I know that not everyone can accept who wen are. But the ones that are still there for us are the best.

Velsignelser

Erikka

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@Berni you are gorgeous and I love the outfit and I envy your hair.

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Erikka, Great news on you finally getting your name changed. Sorry about your long time friend abandoning you. I had a (thought) was a best friend. He decided to end our friendship of over 35yrs. So I just let him have it in a letter and unfriended him. He was the only one I came out to other than my wife and sons.

 

I figure that if he doesn't want my friendship the heck with him. I don't need his friendship.

 

Well worked with the new guy today. I don't really care for him. obnoxious, just don't care for him. Defiantly not going to come out around him.

 

Have a good evening everyone.

 

Kymmie

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Hi,

 

well I had a psychologist appointment today.  New to me Dr (PhD). It went well.  It had been 18 months since my last therapy appointment.  We are going to meet every two weeks when possible.  I’ve been having some unusual bouts of depression lately and felt it was time to get back on the therapy train.  
 

@Jacquii do all my own makeup. my hair is a wig because I am naturally bald.  As Willow I am much less conservative in my dress then I am otherwise.  I prefer bolder brighter colors.  Thanks for liking my earrings obviously I like them too.  I wore a dress today for my appointment.  
 

its been quite a while since I was last misgendered but I probably just jinxed myself.  In fact I think it was my first time out as Willow which was a couple years ago.  My wife complains I have better legs, and that some of her tops look better on me.  
 

@Emily michellehow did your foot get crushed?  I must have missed that.

 

Willow

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      Hi Sarah!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!  as you can see, we share some geographical (and emotional) commonality.  I know how hard it is to find Community here in Japan, but this Forum has been a great help to me and I hope it is for you also.  I think you will find many of us here who are unique individuals but also carry very common feelings and experiences.  Happy you found a gender therapist too!  I know how difficult that is here.  I was fortunate to also find a great therapist and it has been immensely beneficial.   Welcome again❣️  Deep breaths ... one step at a time    
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