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Happy Birthday Kathy!   That's a great number!!!


Looking great Bri!!

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I got my new work ID...I got my new work ID...It's kind of trivial but I'm actually proud to wear it now. I was so happy when I was told to shred the old one.

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13 hours ago, Willow said:

@KendraMLit always nice when you can wear your wife’s clothes, IF she lets you.  My wife and I can share tops but that’s it. I an nearly a foot taller and without a butt, so I’m at least a size smaller and talls verses petites.  

unfortunately, some recent purchases didn’t fit her so I got them. She playfully gets mad when her clothes fit me better or look better on me.



These were clothes she was getting rid of,we wear the same size

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2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I got my new work ID...I got my new work ID...It's kind of trivial but I'm actually proud to wear it now. I was so happy when I was told to shred the old one.

Happened to me 4 years ago as well,loved it and there was no going back although I love my life living and dressing as female fulltime.

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Emily michelle

Congrats Elizabeth that has to feel so amazing!


I was able to make an appointment with a surgeon to talk about an orchiectomy. 

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

got my new work ID...I got my new work ID...It's kind of trivial but I'm actually proud to wear it now. I was so happy when I was told to shred the old one

That's great @ElizabethStar, I'm so happy for you.



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19 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

OMG- you look FAB!

I need to up my scarf game

Thankyou so much Bri.


Personally I LOVE scarves. I have about 20 or so ... but find I only regularly wear 3 or 4.


When I was pretending to be a man, I also loved ties and had 30 or so (even though ties were not part of my work uniform). I did, however, find them limiting. I mean, how different does a half Windsor knot look compared to a full Windsor?


Its coming into summer here and I'm on the hunt for floral silk scarves at least 6 feet long. My wife has one which I adore ... unfortunately, sharing clothes between us is a very big no no ...  so I need to find my own.


The scarf in the picture I bought in the ancient streets of old town Granada in Spain, walking home from a beautiful day wandering the Alhambra. Magical! That scarf is very precious to me.




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Jackie C.
10 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I got my new work ID...I got my new work ID...It's kind of trivial but I'm actually proud to wear it now. I was so happy when I was told to shred the old one.


Not really trivial. The little things that make us smile are just the best. I DANCED out of the SoS office when I got my license fixed. I bounced around over my corrected birth certificate. I get giddy when I change my ID everywhere I find a mention of my dead name.



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Early to rise again. Good thing I stock up on coffee essentials. I have a very long day ahead of me. Remote learning with the kids. Both of them are keeping very good grades so far. Then doctor's for me. I strongly dislike public adventures of all sorts, this kind especially. :eek:Today will be quite intrusive. I guess it's just going to have to be that way. At least I can race home afterwards and watch a movie with my kids. They calm me down a lot. Have a lovely day all.

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Finishing my first cuppa now.  Then out to trim hooves and care for 15 full sized goats.  With any luck they are going off in a couple of weeks to work at producing antibodies for covid therapy.  I am getting a bit old to deal with these horned animals who are often quite difficult.   After letting the pastures rest we are looking at establishing a herd of sheep.  Meanwhile the maple syrup season keeps me busy in the woods.  I'll be patching and rehanging tubbing soon.

  Eizabeth, i remember floating with every thing that had my real name on it.  Getting something in the mail was bliss.  It is a big deal somehow to see that kind of confirmation!  Enjoy!

  Berni, i feel your love of scarves.  A lovely accessory. In the summer here i wear bandanas or have them hanging from my waist.  Scarves are great in cooler weather or floating in the wind riding a scooter or motorcycle.

  Emily, Good luck with your doctor.  Surgery is a big step.  I remember the excitement, doubt and fear i faced as i approached mine.





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Good morning everyone, the temp outside is 44° and 64° inside. Welcome to Fall, the coffee is still hot, black, and strong. #GoPink #OctoberCacerAwarnessMonth #BreastCancerAwarnessMonth #SusanGKomen #SafeTheTaTas


Hugs for all,



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Great morning everyone 


the birds are singing their happy songs, the sky is a beautiful blue and the sun is smiling down at us!  What a great day.


And what a good news day for Emily and Liz and several of my local friends too.  Even for me, my wife and I are starting 

to recover.  I guess having our kids (who are middle age which in it self is hard to imagine) sit down with us and force some difficult answers has pushed us along.  I think we were stuck on a plateau falling back but never moving forward. now we are climbing up again. It’s great for me and brings tears to my eyes.


Charlize, I haven’t seen you on here in a while.  I trust all is ok?  

well, time to enjoy this great day.





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Good Morning Ladies!

I'm sensing lots of good vibes here this morning. I'm loving all the positive changes I'm seeing in everyone's lives. Keep it up girls.

Emily, good luck with the consult. I'm probably going that route in a year once eligible from a time of hormones perspective.  I would love to just do SRS instead but that's going to be a much longer wait time and I would rather get off the spiro faster and reduce the E needed since I'm older.


Today's adventure: Consult for laser tattoo removal.  I've got a big celtic knotwork tat on each deltoid area that looks terribly male and I don't do sleeveless because of it.  The big back piece I might live with for a while since I don't see it and most clothes cover it anyways.  


I feel like I need more coffee :(. I rushed my two cups this morning since I over slept and didn't get to enjoy them. I don't need the added caffeine though.  Tomorrow I'm gonna set an alarm.


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Good Morning!


Elizabeth that is wonderful news! I remember that moment I received my new work badge, was like a young child getting the toy they wanted so badly for Christmas! 

Waking up this morning to my regular and tiresome routine. Hate to say this, but I’m ready to go back to work in about 4 weeks. While dilating and such keeps me busy, I’m getting more and more stir crazy in the house. As flu season approaches, I know my ICU I work in will be hit hard with the combination of the sick CoVID patients. I’m ready to return to being a Nurse! 

So, about to shower and get myself together for another Doctors appointment and to get my nails done. 

Hope everyone has a fantastic day!

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Good morning everyone. I am feeling tired his morning and it is another slow day at work, so that isn't helping. I am looking forward to having tomorrow off and the wife and I are going to go for a drive in the country which will be nice. I am going to be seeing my mom for the first time since coming out on Saturday, so that will be interesting. I am wondering what she is expecting, which I probably shouldn't be worrying about, but yet here I am. I am not sure what I am expecting myself to be honest.

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Top o’ the morning everyone! Got to sleep in today and now enjoying a nice cup of the good stuff. Got an appointment with a personal trainer this afternoon and thinking of getting my ears pierced today. Hope everyone has a great day. 

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2 hours ago, JustineM said:

Top o’ the morning everyone! Got to sleep in today and now enjoying a nice cup of the good stuff. Got an appointment with a personal trainer this afternoon and thinking of getting my ears pierced today. Hope everyone has a great day. 

Sounds like a great day!


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11 hours ago, Berni said:

Personally I LOVE scarves.

Me too @Berni.  I had a small collection when my mother gifted me a huge lot of hers.  She lives in a warmer climate now and doesn't get out much any more.  I have a wide selection of colors and patterns, but as you note I also tend to gravitate towards a favorite few!


@Charlize Trimming hooves has got to be a physically demanding task.  Would sheep be easier to maintain?  When I am down your way I will certainly pick up some syrup!!


@Bri2020 I hope your consultation goes well today.  I think the methods of removal are much better than when my dad had one surgically removed.  Ouch! 

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Belated Good Morning,


I’m on my 3rd cup of coffee and a Red Bull. My wife couldn’t sleep last night and for some reason she woke me up to make her tacos at 2am. Guess it’s true a woman’s work is never done. 

On the positive side we got word that my wife’s last round test results were good for her PAH so we’re just waiting on a date to have her Hickman line removed. Although I’ve become quite adept as mixing cassettes of Remodulin I’ll be grateful to never see one again. Hopefully she’ll adapt quickly to the pill form.

I call her at lunch time, just to check in. Today we got talking about all the crazyness that’s happened this year. During the conversation she said, in her way, that she has fully accepted and is finally OK that I’m transgender. *big sigh of relief


At one point I was checking face in the vanity mirror of car and actually saw myself.  I’m feeling kinda cute these days. Have share it. 





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5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Today's adventure: Consult for laser tattoo removal.  I've got a big celtic knotwork tat on each deltoid area that looks terribly male and I don't do sleeveless because of it. 

I have some stuff on my arms too.  But I guess I'll just live with it.

Hey… I'm a girl with a history!

I got the leg done after I came out, and I really like it.  

Got my Holly Hobbie skirt on today.IMG_1847.thumb.jpeg.6ecbb2d1188cccd5d66bb30c68808d73.jpeg

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

During the conversation she said, in her way, that she has fully accepted and is finally OK that I’m transgender.

This is great

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Oh what a beautiful morning (it was),

oh what a wonderful day (I had)


put the tune with the words!


after dressing and makeup my wife and I cleaned the house, had lunch, then went shopping, spent way too much money.  Seriously way too much!.  Had dinner out, stopped at DQ and got a Blizzard.


Now we are home relaxing.  Best day I’ve had in a while.



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    • Sally Stone
      Great news Tori.  Hugs to you and your wife.  
    • Sally Stone
      Lain, Jackie says it best.  Learn to love what you have.  Yes, it can be challenging, but we all have our beauty points even if many don't align with society's current view of what is beautiful.  For the longest time, I tried to compare my looks with what I saw in fashion magazines - nobody looks like that, so, I realized I should stop trying to compare myself to that unreasonable standard.  Now I focus on femininizing what I was given.  Yes it's harder, but in the end the effort bolsters my confidence and makes me feel just as authentic and just as beautiful as all those fashion models I wasted so much time trying to emulate.  
    • JillPilled
      Thank you for the post, Carolyn--you happened to strike quite true honestly. On a personal note, I've found guilt is way too insidious a demotivator in my life in the past--and still some inklings in the present. I've experienced this in the effect of it cascading from my some ways my mother raised me where it was against decorum, or somehow sinful to present something like my inner-fem self which was basically caged up for quite sometime. There's a really ratcheting and hurtful way in which guilt resultant from abuse or being raised is amplified to a lot of aspects of our lives. This extended to a lot of things including romantic or simply feelings of attraction or wanting to explore aspects of myself and it was, really, a miserable and trying time which I felt like all I could do was being stuck isolated and that'd be my life. It took quite a lot to realize the fullest extent of guilt holding me down/back as of many here, alone, not even speaking to those outside this community which necessitates realized change for them too! Please know to any of you struggling with this very concept that it's not exclusive, but really sadly mutual to many of us within the LGBTQIA+ community--and there's always those of us who know to talk it through or share with one another, resources freely available in discussion of this, mental-health professionals/counselors who want nothing more than to help. I've been going through it, and trying to come out the other side too--least in the capacity of still suffering from feeling as if the previous self I presented to many people I care about, was a deception on my part. It's hard to escape that, but I'm trying to retain more happiness that I know that I'm presenting a valid sense of self now. : D
    • Susan R
      Hello @JillPilled and welcome to our forum. What a well written introduction. Thank you for taking the time tonight to share this with us.   As most of us here, I’ve had some negative experiences after sharing my true identity honestly and openly. To be perfectly honest, I am still feeling the repercussions of a few negative experiences...some directly and some indirectly and in very subtle ways. In a general sense, I try not to focus too much on the negative because in reality, it has been an overwhelming positive experience and I refuse to let a few individuals or experiences change my direction or affect my overall happiness.   Some of those involved in this negativity are unfortunately family members which makes it much harder to ignore. I have accepted their frame of mind about my transition and try to be the best person I can be. I also try to surround myself with those who do accept me as I am.  I don’t try to find ways to change their mind...that is fruitless. The experiences are a different matter and I chalk those up to a learned lesson and avoid those potholes whenever possible.   It’s been 18 months since I’ve been out full time to the world at large. I have seen some positive changes over the last year in the attitudes and acceptance levels of these particularly negative individuals. As for these . They have likely noticed how much happier my wife and I are together and individually. They also see that their opinion of me has had no effect in my transition or direction of my path. They realize that my new persona isn’t as bad as they once thought or believed it would be. I think the main key is to focus on what you can control and focus on what is positive. That will usually be enough to carry you through any isolated negative experience along the way. Luckily, in time they seem to be fewer negatives on the journey.   Good luck with your transition. Hope to see you around.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • JillPilled
      To be honest, there's some abstract-parts to attraction as many here have been saying--I totally agree--you can find someone certainly who you still hold near and dear or are very much attracted to that may not align with what your atypical qualities you see as resonating with you attraction wise--perhaps due to how they flirt with you, meld with your persona, are intimate or close to you contact-wise or emotionally (regardless if they're masc, fem, androgynous, bigender). For me, before starting HRT a year back, before I was incredibly attracted to the same gender and was very much (what I thought) a lesbian at the time as I had virtually no underlying feelings for men (so I thought)--though progressively, I started to learn about aspects of men I found really quite attractive slightly prior to HRT then ON it that built consequent to it (I was bisexual perhaps, is what HRT was helping to realize). Mainly though, it manifested and focused on one man prior to HRT, who I was getting to know better and better, and eventually established a love for personally knowing DUE to these dimensions and more that I still can't quite place (though, he has a deeper-voice and HRT did help me realize, wow, I'm actually quite attracted to deeper-voices speaking with me)! My boyfriend. Strangely, with most other men I don't always feel the attraction to same masculine qualities comparative to knowing aspects of him--though certainly, some things can in-fact change with HRT, yes! I wouldn't go as far as to say it's a guarantee to change your sexual-preferences or what you see in your partner completely in all cases--I'm of the (of course personal view) that HRT in many aspects can add to your sexual-preferences or attractions in some instances!      I really hope that you find a way to surmount this, I know the feeling of inter-conflict with attraction and it really can be difficult and you're valid for wanting to meet that task and maybe discuss this with your partner--it's good to have dialogues about this and think it through, regardless. Holding out hope that pre and if you decide post-HRT, you will find more a peace or contentedness with what qualities you find attractive--alongside with your partner, and however you both end up feeling about it! Know things can go well for y'all. Hope you take care 😆  
    • JillPilled
      How's it going y'all? Hope everyone is doing well. I'm Jillian, a transwoman, 26, and mainly looking to discuss experiences here, and find a better way to network and get a wider breadth to really hear and talk about experiences in all the dimensions socially you can think of to participate in a community--particularly amidst the pandemic! COVID-19 displaced me from my ability to attend my in-person counseling for mental-health associated with feminizing, before I transferred into a separate online tele-health component that's been working efficiently with me for Planned Parenthood-- so this forum complimentary to that really seems from what I've been browsing just very early on to be essential :D!   Just to preface, I've known my identity for about 10 years now, and only recently without the past year began actualizing my transition (besides coming out to my dad/step mom about being trans-fem) with HRT/frequent blood tests and visits/later tele-health visits to my doctor. I live with my dad, step-mom, at the moment, and my father and mother are separated--there's a long-history there that is quite depressing that is way too much for an introduction, but long and short is it was a really strained and short-term (6 year-marriage) relationship. Unfortunately, and nothing looking back that I feel hatred for now but then it was largely unknown to me--but my mom has some issues with bipolar-depressive disorder which have been left unmedicated/treated for some time--likely over 20 years, close to my age. Additionally she holds some sharp views about gender, sexual orientation, and unfortunately even relationships concerning interracial couples (she's... quite bigoted honestly, and not one I would pick to be a representative of an actual good-person to my mind/Christian which she reinforced but held these practices which seemed contradictory and harsh views). Though, I'm agnostic so I'm not the best judge on that matter. Anyhow, currently, it bears noting I am also very much estranged from my mom, for those reasons since December 2014--and hence why I had to repress so much regarding my transition and depression while with her and facing abuse for not being sufficiently in the gender-category she wanted me to be--and saw me as lacking or 'a failure' in that part.  It was enough emotional-trauma/stress to not want to speak or see her ever again--alongside of trying to place me in Catholic related schools, institutions which personally I never felt content/happy with that decision made for me.   I was stuck in isolation in the middle of nowhere in central-Virginia for some time--I want to say 4-5 years, without a high-school curriculum (I was not enrolled, nor attended high-school... or was enrolled in any accredited outside course that could be considered academic--virtually stuck within our home with the resources I could find off the internet via an ancient laptop my dad was kind enough to buy me), and did not actually thrive in any capacity until managing to leave. And I'll just say I haven't found a way to fill a lot of the vacant parts of my brain wanting for explanation of that time in all the spheres, or let go of those really lonely times/experiences--stuck with being the only one to know who I actually was identity wise. Mainly, along the lines of 'why do I perceive myself as not right or unnatural when presenting myself in public' or putting on a personality that I KNOW is drastically more feminine and lovely in my view than this forced and fake male one that makes me feel as if I'm lying to everyone and me too. I see no meaning in it. Every time with relatives it was absolute pain--as with people I didn't know, and after quite some time I gave up on all that just within this past year.   Takes you a while to realize sometimes there's not a greater meaning to abuse or trauma in some contexts, and that just constantly me dwelling on it was ratcheting it into something way deeper and worsening my mental-state as I couldn't leave those times (PTSD). It's slow but realized change to reject there being a meaning to some cases, and to try to overcome with new ones/forget as best you can. Actually, funny enough, when I escaped that situation for the past 6-ish years it's been a massive hurdle to even tell someone trusted such as my dad/stepmom, as well as my boyfriend (while we were still just bestfriends) and a couple other good friends of mine that I'm trans--and while I had the answer it was something I held back for so long because of these prior experiences, and I did not too much besides academically 'catch up' during these times until I came out fully. Sure this is far more common than, once, my perception held towards thinking how entrapped, lonely that feeling was--rather, a kinda selfish thought of that surely no one else could know but that was DEFINITELY a case of 16-year old to 18 year old me thinking in a much younger and isolated lens, haha.   Are there any experiences recently that you feel like, personally, you've done well in creating for yourself or were positive in outlook--in the same capacity, perhaps, good ways to seek to move on from those that were negative to you--because I feel as if that's equally of valid or concerning in transitioning? Sorry, if that's a bit personal for just an intro., but! I do love talking with others about mental-health as well as identity, it can be nice to vent some about it to somebody--I've done more than my share to my boyfriend when he visits out of Toronto over here in Virginia, and over Discord calls we have together as of COVID. Love to meet and talk with y'all about yours, it's good to share or listen really in equal measure--I enjoy it a lot with all sorts of matters! Thank you so much for reading, and have a good day (I drafted this quite late, so not sure I will be up for a little while--night owl that I am but hope to catch up on other forum posts soon as well :>)
    • Noah A
      Hi @DonkeySocks. Thank you so much for your welcome. You are so right. That's what I've done with one of my best friends. She has been supportive, if a bit skeptical. She leans towards believing that this probably has other explanations, or at least making totally sure that is not the case. Can't blame her, she has know me only in my overfeminine phase.     Thank you for that. It's interesting that, no matter how much I know that is the case, I still doubt them. So it is a huge support to hear those words.       Hi @DeeDee. You have no idea (except you probably do) how reasuring it is that you share this experience in this way (not always knowing) and yet it is totally real and you've come this far. And yes, being honest with myself and self-acceptance and self-love are the goals. Each question and each answer may scare me, but they also set me free, and when I allow myself to think "I am not a woman and I do not need to be a woman" everything inside of me relaxes. It scares me, but I'm not letting go of that feeling!     Hi @Susan R. Yes! I have one. There was none in my area but I found them in Barcelona. I'm only two session into therapy but it has made a world of difference, in terms of being able to talk about this with an informed, neutral and non judgemental person. I actually am in this forum because I could put aside my previous "I am not trans enough" fear, and that's thanks to therapy. The awareness and ability to legitimize my feelings and reality has no price.   Thank you all for your welcome. It is felt and deeply appreciated. I'll do my best to be here for you as much as you are here for me.
    • Noah A
      Hi @sparky I can't talk from experience about coming out to a significant other, because I don't have it. What I can say is that, from my point of view, you've given yourself and your wive the gift of an open and honest relationship, the possibility of being your true selves with one another. I have no clue how it can turn out, but now it has the chance of being real and profound.  
    • RhondaS
      Struggled with that a long time too, besides all the other struggles. But at some point I thought I'd rather live the rest of my life as an ugly woman than any kind of man. And HRT helped me mentally almost right away, well before any physical changes. Yes, I still don't like what I see in the mirror, but feel significantly better than I used to (and it's only 5 weeks in). 
    • RhondaS
      Does anyone ever misgender back? I'd be tempted to do that, at least on the way out. "Thanks, sir!"
    • RhondaS
      Do you have a link for that quote from Harris saying she'll invoke the 25th? Google's not helping, and you'd think that statement would have made enough news to be found somewhere other than on this forum.   The only things google showed was Trump saying that Pelosi would do it to replace Biden with Harris.     
    • Susan R
      Hello @Noah A. It’s a pleasure to have you here with us. You are among friends here and are here to help you any way we can.   As @DonkeySocks pointed out...we’re all here trying to find ourselves. It’s a forum filled with real people with at least one aim of self-discovery. It’s a process that takes patience and time. You’ve recognized the fact that something needs attention or that an issue does exist...that’s why you’re here. Once the genie is out of the bottle, it never goes away completely. I can tell you first hand that denial, suppression and compartmentalizing your life does not work for long. Knowing the truth about yourself and accepting who you are, whatever that might be, is half the battle. The rest of the pieces eventually fall into place with good help whether it be professional or through resources that you stumble upon in you research.   You’ll here it often on this forum but it’s very true...you owe it to yourself to find a good therapist with a good understanding of gender identity issues. I don’t know how abundant those type of resources are in Spain but there are online services available and in some places right now online is the only method of service available due to covid.   I believe one can traverse these gender issues without a therapist but the more resources and support you have at your disposal, the better, imho. I think this to a great place to get started and hope to read more about you and your journey. I trust with a little effort, you’ll eventually get there.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Mia Marie
      Everybody is entitled to vote for who you want but I will not vote for someone, and I don't care what party they are from, and end up living in a socialist country with no rights at all to speak of. And if Biden wins Harris has already said at some point she will envoke the 25th amendment to take over the Presidency from Biden. You don't want her in full charge.
    • Robin.C
      This is something I struggled with for a long time and reading other stories, many have as well. There is a mindset in our beginning which is part of the dysphoria. We don't feel we are the person we believe we are and often any visual image we see hits that button time and time again. The best advice I have been given was that I want to be the best female version of myself that I can be. The same height, skin and body shape (although hormones will and do change some of our appearance) but the female version of me. Transitioning is as much about the emotional and mental changes that occur along with some physical changes. A therapist is a must to help us comes to terms of how we progress towards our goal of being our true self. This is a great place to begin as the advice and real world experiences are and have been invaluable to me. We as people come in all shapes and sizes and nobody is ever 100% happy with how they look, we all get by though. You didn't say if you have a therapist, if you don't you should get one as they can be so much help now and in the future.   Hugs Robin
    • gina-nicole-t
      Welcome @Bobbi Jo
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