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Good morning All. Coffees on.


KymmieL

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@Emily michelle It is great to hear that you are changing for the better. LOL I have less than 30 days till I see the Endo about going on HRT with a blood thinner. I just hope the weather is good. Since it is down in Denver.  But If I have to fight through snow to get to be me would be worth it.

 

Can't stand my body. Up early on a day off. when I wanted to sleep in. Oh, Well I can take a nap later. Cup o coffee is nice and warming. this cold am with a forecast over night low to be 38 and today's high only 37. (don't know how that works)

 

I only have to go to my chiropractor later. I may also renew the tags on our MKZ. Luckily it is free since I have my DV plates on it.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

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QuestioningAmber

@Victoria_ I love the wig and the whole look in the picture, it is very cute.

 

Just finished my first cup of coffee. Took the day off since I need to burn vacation time and I have two appointments today, psychiatry and therapy. I have a span between the two, so I am going to go for a walk in the park I think. My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen, which has been a happy surprise.

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@Victoria_ I agree - really cute photo

 

@QuestioningAmber the reduction of anxiety and calmness has been my favorite part of HRT so far - hoping the body starts doing its thing but I'm happy with anxiety and depression reduction - that along has reduced the gender dysphoria.

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@Victoria_ Very cute!

 

@KymmieL Very happy to hear you're coming out work went well.

 

 @KendraML Congrats on the new car! It's always exciting to learn how a new vehicle responds to you.

 

@Emily michelle Congrats on your 6 months!!! Those moments when you can really see yourself are so wonderful.

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On 10/20/2020 at 7:01 AM, Shay said:

I am drinking my 1 cup of daily coffee and I am feeling somewhat numb with the weather and having lost my first sibling on Sunday. I was able to say goodbye via FaceTime and he passed shortly after that. He has been in rest home for 5 years with Lewy body disease - the same thing Robin Williams had so his death doesn't unexpected but it did come quickly and I will always remember the look in his face. Hours later he passed. Anyway I hope your day is starting well and you are ready to face another day becoming the you you were always meant to be.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. Even when we know it's coming it is still heart wrenching.  Here's to remembering all that was good about his life.  Hang in there. 

Hugs

Bri

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6 hours ago, Victoria_ said:

First day with a wig, I’m feeling great, now I can recognize my true self 😭

Very cute wig! 

 

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I've been on HRT for 7 weeks and didn't really feel any different until yesterday I became an emotional wreck over the stupidest things and started crying at commercials and -crap-. lol. My wife laughed pretty hard about my state.  I noticed the last week my nipples had become "sensitive" but then this morning looking in the mirror noticed they were "budding". I have to admit, I kinda freaked out.  I've been wanting this but to actually see a physical change occur made the HRT decision real for the first time for me.  I'm better now but I was really worried about the fact the I freaked out and began questioning whether that reaction might have been a sign I wasn't ready.  

In other fun news, A client came into the shop today and as we were talking asked how long I had been here. I thought he was asking about the biz so told him 11 years in this location then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue.  We had a great conversation about the differences in treatment availabilities and public acceptance and then went about our days.  I've been in biz for a long time and had no clue we had any trans clients.  It's really cool to know we do.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:00 PM, Shay said:

@QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 

Heather you need to road trip down to DC some weekend and we will go shopping.  I'm sure we can find some stuff to make you feel cute. In fact, I think we need to coordinate a shopping day for a bunch of us.

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KathyLauren
2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair. 

 

Very cool story, @Bri2020!  We are everywhere.  Bwa-ha-ha!

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Jackie C.

That is incredibly cool @Bri2020. That must have been a great conversation! I had a similar episode with one of my spouse's friends. We met up at my brother-in-law's funeral and she introduced herself to me. I smiled and said no, we met back in 1990. Then we played a round of "guess who?" with things like, "You were a bridesmaid at my wedding!" It was HUGE fun until my wife finally said, "She used to be <deadname>."

 

As for the emotional thing... you're never ready. It's a big new thing. Some of us get weepy. Some get more euphoric, but the hormones turn your emotional intensity from, "meh" to "OMG!" That takes a minute to get used to. Now that said, I know of people who could not handle the extra load from progesterone, but so long as your hormonal chemistry is normal (as in your endo is done adjusting), you'll get used to it soon enough. I'm two years in and still get blindsided occasionally. However, one of the happiest moments I've had since I started transitioning was when I'd been off hormones a few weeks in preparation for my GCS. I was reading something and it hit me in all the ways that you're feeling things now. I started to cry, then I started to laugh because a huge fear had dropped off my shoulders. Even without the hormones (though I could NOT WAIT to get back on), I was still the new, better me.

 

Hugs!

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Bri2020: " It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue. "

 

This is simply an amazing story!  How did you resist the temptation is sing jointly a chorus or two of "It's a Small World After All"?

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Five years ago today our 8 year old granddaughter lost her battle with brain cancer.  She went through three lengthy brain surgeries.  Months of radiation treatments.  She never complained and always had a smile for me.  Weekends she spent with my wife and I and the rest of the week she was in the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House.  
 

She asked to go on a Disney Cruise after we got the news that she had a limited number of weeks to live.  My daughter and I made that happen with logistical help from friends and family.  When we arrived, Disney staff met us at our car, walked us through and treated Daphne like the princess she was.  As well as her two sisters and the rest of us.  The matre’de cried when he learned of her fate.  
 

Daphne met and touched people all over the world.  Girl Scouts from all over sent her letters of care and love.  A special Rainbow patch was made to honor her.  Her catch phrases was “Don’t be sad, think of Rainbows!”  She came up with that and said it to her mother he when they were being helicoptered to a bigger hospital.

 

willow

 

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Heather Nicole

@Victoria_ You look great!

 

11 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen

 

Less anxiety? Sounds good, I could use some of that!

 

9 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago! 

 

That is such a cool story! Wow!

 

@Shay and @Emily michelle sorry to hear about both of your rough times. Also, this is the first I've heard of Transparent, I'm definitely going to take a look.

 

Well everyone,

 

Yesterday I finally heard back from the gender therapist I'd been hoping to start seeing. I was so excited to get that message, I was feeling this weird mix of half-shaking together with calmness (weight being lifted). The last few weeks this has all been feeling very sudden, and confusing, rollercoastery, and I've been really feeling a need to finally start talking things over with someone professionally trained trained in this stuff. I have my first appointment (virtual) a week from monday! I so can't wait to finally talk and what she has to say.

 

Also, earlier this week I had a routine follow-up with my GP, and decided it was time to finally be honest with her about both my drinking habit and the fact that I was looking for gender therapist. Since I still hadn't yet heard back from the therapist I was hoping for, I figured she might have some connections since I recently learned the organization she's with (The Cleveland Clinic) has two LGBT+ health centers. The meeting went well on all points, and it felt good to come out with my GP on both those things.

 

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into... :)

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A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

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ElizabethStar

For anyone who remembers the issues I was having with my therapist a few weeks ago. The fear was that there maybe issues (in ONE possible future) with trans-people getting medical care if they have GD in their file. It was staring to sound a little like a EULA ......if you are properly informed and willing to accept these risks....we can proceed.

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face. HR checked in with me today. I've been out doing a lot of field work lately and they wanted to make sure I haven't gotten crap from any customers. So far nothing to report.

 

I've been getting a lot more comfortable using she/her pronouns and references on myself. I didn't have a reason to use them before but now on service calls it's all "Hi I'm Elizabeth, you service girl. I'm here to fix your alarm".

 

 

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ElizabethStar
1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

🖤🖤

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Heather Nicole
1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

🖤🖤

20201022_224835_2.thumb.jpg.c598d34210fb7aec4e32fdd8de06ecdb.jpg

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@Willow It is so hard to lose someone so young.It seems like she met the challenge with a brave heart, and a loving heart.

 

It would absolutely devastate me if I ever lost one of my grandkids. If it was someone else fault, they wouldn't find the body so help me.

 

Kymmie

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@Heather Nicole 

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

And...

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Whatcha get? whatcha get?

Ya...let us know.

💜

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face.

Elizabeth, glad to hear about work.  Your in the big scary outdoors, so we're watching closely.  I'm inspired by your courage.

💜

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Heather Nicole
2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

@Heather NicoleWhatcha get? whatcha get?

 

Ha haa! :)

 

Not sure how much of that's just playing along, but you know what? I'm so happy with what I got, here they are:

 

(sorry admins if bandwidth is an issue here, I really hope it isn't. I tried using "insert image from url", but it didn't seem to work for me - I'm guessing because, as I've just learned, the server I tried using has out-of-date TLS...among other things...I really need to get that sorted out...)

 

20201022_231759_2.thumb.jpg.651020b3598e01b4588fcc961d06426a.jpg20201022_232120_2.thumb.jpg.8b45c8af297cf54fdbf7078a13be4357.jpg20201022_232727_2.thumb.jpg.332d47b29b21bb4b8ed2797ff3ec59e2.jpg

 

These are Torrid's size 3x. I think 4x might be a better fit, but I'm working on loosing weight, so I think I'll keep them and...un-grow...into them.


I really love the design of the first one, but I think the other two might suit me better. Oh! And the dress has pockets! I didn't even know that when I ordered!

 

I love how much softer the materials are in women's wear.

 

It's funny, I've never, ever gotten excited about new clothes before in my life, and it was easy to just chalk that up to "Well duh, guys don't usually get excited about clothes." I guess for me it was a different reason after all! :D

 

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Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

💜

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Heather Nicole

@Willow OMG! I am so sorry to hear that!!! *hugs* I have two young nieces and I couldn't bear to even imagine...So sorry! That cruise must have been so very special to her, and to all of you. I'm so glad they treated her so amazingly! There's not much in the world that compares with being made to feel like a princess!

 

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

 

I absolutely love these stories of trans-people serendipitously finding each other!!!

 

I've sometimes had little mini-fantasies about that. Like, if one of my co-workers would come out before me, help pave the way, and then I could quietly let them know "hey, I'm with you, I'm like you, you're not alone here". Or the other way around, if I came out at work and it inspired someone there to feel comfortable coming out to me.

 

Very closely related to that, I recently ordered one of those HRC equals-sign bumper stickers. Despite all the self-doubt I've been feeling, and hyperactive "what if it outs me?!?!" paranoid worries, and I'm even aware that HRC isn't universally loved among the full, entire LGBT+ community. But at the very least, politics aside, even more than waving a banner of equality, I want to be another voice helping any early-stage LGBT+ around know that they're not alone, and they have supporters.

 

@ElizabethStar: I haven't commented much on this before, but I've always been thrilled for you to hear all your stories of how well things are going being "out" at work!!! Cheers! 🎉

 

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

 

Hee heee, thanks, you really are a sweetheart! I feel like trans-sisters with you, since we're both at such a similar stages in all of this. (And because I've recently learned that I love singing ;) )

 

I was feeling SOO daunted by the idea of "OMG, how do I even BEGIN to go about looking for a gender therapist???" I'm very glad for you that you even have a list of candidates. For me, that was the hard part, just knowing where to start. I'm very much looking forward to hearing you proudly declare that you're seeing a good one :)

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Heather Nicole
2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

💜

 

Thanks, Ann! 💖

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    • ElizabethStar
      Sounds like your sleeping in a men's shirt. Sorry to say it but you might want to renegotiate your promise. I sleep in a women's sleep t-shirt. Personally I can't stand the feel of men's clothing on my skin anymore.
    • Kellianne
      Thank you Charlize and that is key, feeling comfortable with who you are. I so long to feel that and not the shame, sadness, dysphoria and hopelessnes  that has dominated much of my life.
    • Jackie C.
      @Charlize mentions an excellent point: Mental changes.   The big one is that I can think. The mental static is gone and I feel comfortable just being me. I'm also more empathic and emotional. I feel freaking amazing honestly. There's probably a zillion little tweaks the HRT made in my brain that I don't notice individually, but together they make me calm, comfortable, just generally more pleasant to be around.   Hugs!
    • Kellianne
      Thank you Jackie and yes I have already looked into voice lessons, FFS, and wigs will be my friend because I lost my hair on top in my late 20's. I know learning to walk and move more femininely as well are key important factors. Learning makeup and fashion as well I am sure are key. I am glad to hear you are seeing changes in all physical areas to some degree. I hope I have similar results  
    • Charlize
      Welcome Kelliane.  I got started at 63.  Unfortunately i didn't turn 21, and just beautiful. Instead I have found comfort in being myself.  I have cute breasts, not large but all mine.  Body hair is thinner and grows much slower.  I'm generally softer.  All those physical changes mean little compared to the comfort i now feel in living without shame or fear.  I'm 72 now and happier than i have ever been.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Jackie C.
      Salutations @Kellianne and welcome to Transpulse!   Well, I started transition at 48. Specifically, I got my first dose of HRT (patches) in June of 2018. My picture is just me (plus a wig, I have alopecia) and I've got a gallery of pictures over here Jackie's Pics. Those are about a year old now but I've got a couple more scattered around the site in various posts. Mostly me in gymwear.   So what I've experienced after two years. I've got breasts. They're small, but sensitive and still growing (at least that's what I tell myself). My butt is slowly changing shape due to HRT and exercise. I've got a waist now. I think that's mostly exercise though. I work my abs three times a week. I've got just the barest appearance of hips. My face looks better because fat redistribution. I realize I've also got good cheekbones, dimples and a narrow chin which helps immensely. I haven't been mis-gendered in ages.   My flexibility is better. My sense of smell has improved dramatically (mixed blessing). My skin is softer and more sensitive. I no longer stink (men stink, I'm sorry, but you do). My voice passes, but that has more to do with hard work than anything the HRT did. I strongly recommend voice lessons. That's an important lesson: You get out of transition what you put into it. Don't expect the hormones to do all the work. HRT won't help you talk or walk like a woman for example. There's a learning curve and when you look at a genetic woman, remember that her appearance isn't free. She's got a beauty regimen, you just don't see that part.   Hugs!
    • Emily michelle
      Hi everyone! Heavy frost this morning. I decided to go to work for a few hours to catch up. I almost bought another bicycle yesterday but I talked myself out of it. My wife and I may go see her sister later today, this will be the first time I’ve seen her since my wife told her. My wife mentioned last night that it is time to tell her parents so we shall see.
    • Kellianne
      Good morning 😀         So, I have finally reach a point in my life where I have to be true to the real me. Ever since I was young I knew I should have been a girl but, through enforced male roles, a masculine body, no support or understanding, I have hidden it my entire life. I have found a wonderful partner who is supportive and I can openly be me with her. I have read a lot of stuff on the internet about later life transition and I find it is similar to Googling "I have a runny nose and cough" and being told you have everything from Ebola to a Broken Leg 🤣.       So, I come here to ask you wonderful ladies who have been trough it, or know someone who has, what my expectations can be at 52. I know obviously there are better results the younger you start but, some places tell me little to no results at this age to breast, hip, butt, thigh development and not much change to skin or hair growth. I have seen some that say you can have, almost the same results it just takes longer, as if you had stared earlier.        I know everything is based on individual genetics, but I am very interested to hear actual testimonials, if you wish to share. Thank you for any helpful advice/answers you can provide.
    • BreM
      Wife,daughter and I are going to do some shopping later this morning.I need some new bras and pantyhose.Need to buy my daughter a dress and wife needs new work clothes.Some of my bras went in the trash already,in bad shape due for replacement.
    • CallMeKeira
      @Lyla I am pretty new to all this, but I can relate. I have on multiple occasions packed away or tossed out various things related to hobbies I had a lot of interest in after I got bored. I would do it without a second thought until much later, and then it was a "hindsight's 20/20" sort of thing. But, with my dresses, my makeup, my hair clippies, there's a much more immediate response if I even consider it. (Haven't packed them away/tossed them, and won't. I am resolved.)   Journeys of self-discovery are seldom easy, or free of fear. I have only recently (proportionately) started on that journey. However, the fact that you are willing to take a step on that journey is a good indicator that you can overcome your fears and reservations, no matter what statistics say, and reach your destination, regardless of where that destination is. I am just a spring chicken staring at a crossroads, and I don't have all the answers. But, we're on this road together, and all we gotta do is just start walking and see where our feet take us. It's the journey, not the destination, right? (Gods, I do sound cheesy).   -Here if you need me, Keira
    • Willow
      My wife and I make custom shirts with heat pressed vinyl.  She found a company that sells t-shirts made out of bamboo. For sure they are the softest ones I’ve ever worn.  They come in all sizes, men’s and women’s and different sleeves.  They hold up to normal washing too.  They are only a little more expensive but well worth it.   unfortunately for me the one iron clad promise I made was never come to bed in women’s things.  So I don’t get to experience that.     My boobets are telling me to be careful with them today.  No harsh fabric rubbing them.  I suppose that’s because I slept in a shirt last night.  My fault, I’m not used to their rules yet.   Willow
    • Sarahnr1
      Youre very welkome dear     Thats  okey we can still talk  and im still here  as you can see  (HUG ) 
    • KayC
      You would think with how much the Feds pay to support Medicaid they could dictate a minimum standard of coverage for the states.  Maybe they can fix this in the next 4 years. Here's another article on the same story ... apparently 10 states currently exclude gender affirming medical coverage. https://www.them.us/story/lawsuit-challenging-west-virginia-ban-trans-medicaid-coverage
    • Willow
      Good morning TGPulse  (said to the tone of good morning Vietnam)   guess m in a good mood this morning.  Looks a little overcast.  It is supposed to rain later.  Guess I won’t be working on the boat today.   coffee is made I’m ready for friends to come sit at my kitchen table.    the hunters are out in the rice fields.  In the early 19th century this was supposed to have  been the largest rice producer in the world.  I find that hard to believe.  Now it’s all just wetland.   we watch a sewing show and a quilting show on PBS starting at 8 every Saturday.  One thing I’ve learned about sewing, it isn’t as easy as it looks.  I’m getting better but even keeping a straight line can be challenging.  Then add to that making a particular type of seam like a double row flat felled seam. My rows of stitches are never straight.   we made new lettering for the boat.  I sure hope I can get that on right. I know the way it’s supposed to be done but I’m just not sure about this.   Enjoy your coffee today.   Willow
    • DeeDee
      Hi Lyla, pleased to meet you. If you just look at statistics being trans is effectively terrifying, it is why so many people place an emphasis on "passing", because it offers the security to be upgraded in society's eyes to the levels of aggression someone happy with their gender from birth is likely to experience. Which can still be scary as statistics. The flipside statistic to violence and prejudice experienced is the suicide and self harm rates, they make not dealing with gender dysphoria just as scary to me!   The strength of your feelings towards packing away the items you have is a very loud and clear signal that you ignore at your peril.  This is why everyone is advised to find a way to seek out a therapist to help talk though these fears safely and without any need to act on them.   When I was first questioning the most helpful exercise I did was not looking at whether or not I was transgender (that was too big and too confusing and scary) but looking at whether or not I was cisgender.   It was about coming to terms with myself and removing the masks I wear every day. Recognising what I do in life as a role in order to play a part expected of me whether self imposed or just reinforced by society or others, and what I do because I want to. The expectations list was way bigger! I wish you all the best in your thinking and exploring.
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