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KymmieL

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@Emily michelle It is great to hear that you are changing for the better. LOL I have less than 30 days till I see the Endo about going on HRT with a blood thinner. I just hope the weather is good. Since it is down in Denver.  But If I have to fight through snow to get to be me would be worth it.

 

Can't stand my body. Up early on a day off. when I wanted to sleep in. Oh, Well I can take a nap later. Cup o coffee is nice and warming. this cold am with a forecast over night low to be 38 and today's high only 37. (don't know how that works)

 

I only have to go to my chiropractor later. I may also renew the tags on our MKZ. Luckily it is free since I have my DV plates on it.

 

Hugs,

Kymmie

 

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QuestioningAmber

@Victoria_ I love the wig and the whole look in the picture, it is very cute.

 

Just finished my first cup of coffee. Took the day off since I need to burn vacation time and I have two appointments today, psychiatry and therapy. I have a span between the two, so I am going to go for a walk in the park I think. My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen, which has been a happy surprise.

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@Victoria_ I agree - really cute photo

 

@QuestioningAmber the reduction of anxiety and calmness has been my favorite part of HRT so far - hoping the body starts doing its thing but I'm happy with anxiety and depression reduction - that along has reduced the gender dysphoria.

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@Victoria_ Very cute!

 

@KymmieL Very happy to hear you're coming out work went well.

 

 @KendraML Congrats on the new car! It's always exciting to learn how a new vehicle responds to you.

 

@Emily michelle Congrats on your 6 months!!! Those moments when you can really see yourself are so wonderful.

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On 10/20/2020 at 7:01 AM, Shay said:

I am drinking my 1 cup of daily coffee and I am feeling somewhat numb with the weather and having lost my first sibling on Sunday. I was able to say goodbye via FaceTime and he passed shortly after that. He has been in rest home for 5 years with Lewy body disease - the same thing Robin Williams had so his death doesn't unexpected but it did come quickly and I will always remember the look in his face. Hours later he passed. Anyway I hope your day is starting well and you are ready to face another day becoming the you you were always meant to be.

Hugs

Heather Shay

Oh Heather, I'm so sorry. Even when we know it's coming it is still heart wrenching.  Here's to remembering all that was good about his life.  Hang in there. 

Hugs

Bri

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6 hours ago, Victoria_ said:

First day with a wig, I’m feeling great, now I can recognize my true self 😭

Very cute wig! 

 

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I've been on HRT for 7 weeks and didn't really feel any different until yesterday I became an emotional wreck over the stupidest things and started crying at commercials and -crap-. lol. My wife laughed pretty hard about my state.  I noticed the last week my nipples had become "sensitive" but then this morning looking in the mirror noticed they were "budding". I have to admit, I kinda freaked out.  I've been wanting this but to actually see a physical change occur made the HRT decision real for the first time for me.  I'm better now but I was really worried about the fact the I freaked out and began questioning whether that reaction might have been a sign I wasn't ready.  

In other fun news, A client came into the shop today and as we were talking asked how long I had been here. I thought he was asking about the biz so told him 11 years in this location then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue.  We had a great conversation about the differences in treatment availabilities and public acceptance and then went about our days.  I've been in biz for a long time and had no clue we had any trans clients.  It's really cool to know we do.

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On 10/20/2020 at 6:00 PM, Shay said:

@QuestioningAmber glad you look cute in the outfit.   Sadly that's a feeling I will never experience but I sure am glad for you. 

Heather you need to road trip down to DC some weekend and we will go shopping.  I'm sure we can find some stuff to make you feel cute. In fact, I think we need to coordinate a shopping day for a bunch of us.

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KathyLauren
2 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair. 

 

Very cool story, @Bri2020!  We are everywhere.  Bwa-ha-ha!

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Jackie C.

That is incredibly cool @Bri2020. That must have been a great conversation! I had a similar episode with one of my spouse's friends. We met up at my brother-in-law's funeral and she introduced herself to me. I smiled and said no, we met back in 1990. Then we played a round of "guess who?" with things like, "You were a bridesmaid at my wedding!" It was HUGE fun until my wife finally said, "She used to be <deadname>."

 

As for the emotional thing... you're never ready. It's a big new thing. Some of us get weepy. Some get more euphoric, but the hormones turn your emotional intensity from, "meh" to "OMG!" That takes a minute to get used to. Now that said, I know of people who could not handle the extra load from progesterone, but so long as your hormonal chemistry is normal (as in your endo is done adjusting), you'll get used to it soon enough. I'm two years in and still get blindsided occasionally. However, one of the happiest moments I've had since I started transitioning was when I'd been off hormones a few weeks in preparation for my GCS. I was reading something and it hit me in all the ways that you're feeling things now. I started to cry, then I started to laugh because a huge fear had dropped off my shoulders. Even without the hormones (though I could NOT WAIT to get back on), I was still the new, better me.

 

Hugs!

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Bri2020: " It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago!  Wow, I had no clue. "

 

This is simply an amazing story!  How did you resist the temptation is sing jointly a chorus or two of "It's a Small World After All"?

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Five years ago today our 8 year old granddaughter lost her battle with brain cancer.  She went through three lengthy brain surgeries.  Months of radiation treatments.  She never complained and always had a smile for me.  Weekends she spent with my wife and I and the rest of the week she was in the Philadelphia Ronald McDonald House.  
 

She asked to go on a Disney Cruise after we got the news that she had a limited number of weeks to live.  My daughter and I made that happen with logistical help from friends and family.  When we arrived, Disney staff met us at our car, walked us through and treated Daphne like the princess she was.  As well as her two sisters and the rest of us.  The matre’de cried when he learned of her fate.  
 

Daphne met and touched people all over the world.  Girl Scouts from all over sent her letters of care and love.  A special Rainbow patch was made to honor her.  Her catch phrases was “Don’t be sad, think of Rainbows!”  She came up with that and said it to her mother he when they were being helicoptered to a bigger hospital.

 

willow

 

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Heather Nicole

@Victoria_ You look great!

 

11 hours ago, QuestioningAmber said:

My psychiatrist was very pleased to hear that I have a less anxiety since starting Estrogen

 

Less anxiety? Sounds good, I could use some of that!

 

9 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

then he corrected me and ask how long I had been here.  I told him the whole time since I owned it. He looked puzzled and said he's been coming for 10 years off on an on and thought someone else owned it.  I enlightened him by saying, Oh, I use to be Rick and had a lot less hair.  It clicked for him then and he asked how long the transition had been happening and congrats.  I told him just since summer and then he told me he had transitioned 19 years ago! 

 

That is such a cool story! Wow!

 

@Shay and @Emily michelle sorry to hear about both of your rough times. Also, this is the first I've heard of Transparent, I'm definitely going to take a look.

 

Well everyone,

 

Yesterday I finally heard back from the gender therapist I'd been hoping to start seeing. I was so excited to get that message, I was feeling this weird mix of half-shaking together with calmness (weight being lifted). The last few weeks this has all been feeling very sudden, and confusing, rollercoastery, and I've been really feeling a need to finally start talking things over with someone professionally trained trained in this stuff. I have my first appointment (virtual) a week from monday! I so can't wait to finally talk and what she has to say.

 

Also, earlier this week I had a routine follow-up with my GP, and decided it was time to finally be honest with her about both my drinking habit and the fact that I was looking for gender therapist. Since I still hadn't yet heard back from the therapist I was hoping for, I figured she might have some connections since I recently learned the organization she's with (The Cleveland Clinic) has two LGBT+ health centers. The meeting went well on all points, and it felt good to come out with my GP on both those things.

 

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into... :)

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A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

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ElizabethStar

For anyone who remembers the issues I was having with my therapist a few weeks ago. The fear was that there maybe issues (in ONE possible future) with trans-people getting medical care if they have GD in their file. It was staring to sound a little like a EULA ......if you are properly informed and willing to accept these risks....we can proceed.

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face. HR checked in with me today. I've been out doing a lot of field work lately and they wanted to make sure I haven't gotten crap from any customers. So far nothing to report.

 

I've been getting a lot more comfortable using she/her pronouns and references on myself. I didn't have a reason to use them before but now on service calls it's all "Hi I'm Elizabeth, you service girl. I'm here to fix your alarm".

 

 

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ElizabethStar
1 hour ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

🖤🖤

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Heather Nicole
1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:
2 hours ago, Heather Nicole said:

My first order from Torrid arrived this evening (a couple tops and a dress), so if you'll all excuse me, I have a package to go tear into...

🖤🖤

20201022_224835_2.thumb.jpg.c598d34210fb7aec4e32fdd8de06ecdb.jpg

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@Willow It is so hard to lose someone so young.It seems like she met the challenge with a brave heart, and a loving heart.

 

It would absolutely devastate me if I ever lost one of my grandkids. If it was someone else fault, they wouldn't find the body so help me.

 

Kymmie

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@Heather Nicole 

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

And...

2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Whatcha get? whatcha get?

Ya...let us know.

💜

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3 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

 

Work's been going really good. Everyone has been really supportive. I know there are probably one or two haters in the bunch but so far none have shown their face.

Elizabeth, glad to hear about work.  Your in the big scary outdoors, so we're watching closely.  I'm inspired by your courage.

💜

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Heather Nicole
2 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

@Heather NicoleWhatcha get? whatcha get?

 

Ha haa! :)

 

Not sure how much of that's just playing along, but you know what? I'm so happy with what I got, here they are:

 

(sorry admins if bandwidth is an issue here, I really hope it isn't. I tried using "insert image from url", but it didn't seem to work for me - I'm guessing because, as I've just learned, the server I tried using has out-of-date TLS...among other things...I really need to get that sorted out...)

 

20201022_231759_2.thumb.jpg.651020b3598e01b4588fcc961d06426a.jpg20201022_232120_2.thumb.jpg.8b45c8af297cf54fdbf7078a13be4357.jpg20201022_232727_2.thumb.jpg.332d47b29b21bb4b8ed2797ff3ec59e2.jpg

 

These are Torrid's size 3x. I think 4x might be a better fit, but I'm working on loosing weight, so I think I'll keep them and...un-grow...into them.


I really love the design of the first one, but I think the other two might suit me better. Oh! And the dress has pockets! I didn't even know that when I ordered!

 

I love how much softer the materials are in women's wear.

 

It's funny, I've never, ever gotten excited about new clothes before in my life, and it was easy to just chalk that up to "Well duh, guys don't usually get excited about clothes." I guess for me it was a different reason after all! :D

 

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Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

💜

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Heather Nicole

@Willow OMG! I am so sorry to hear that!!! *hugs* I have two young nieces and I couldn't bear to even imagine...So sorry! That cruise must have been so very special to her, and to all of you. I'm so glad they treated her so amazingly! There's not much in the world that compares with being made to feel like a princess!

 

3 hours ago, KendraML said:

A co worker of mine and I had a talk to me.He came in for advice on something and I listened.Asked me how I came out as the way I am to this day,said has felt he is transgender for a long time and should of been born female.Told him think it over and be honest about it.He is married with two kids,told him it may go good or bad.He knows I am there for him anytime.He is a doctor there

 

I absolutely love these stories of trans-people serendipitously finding each other!!!

 

I've sometimes had little mini-fantasies about that. Like, if one of my co-workers would come out before me, help pave the way, and then I could quietly let them know "hey, I'm with you, I'm like you, you're not alone here". Or the other way around, if I came out at work and it inspired someone there to feel comfortable coming out to me.

 

Very closely related to that, I recently ordered one of those HRC equals-sign bumper stickers. Despite all the self-doubt I've been feeling, and hyperactive "what if it outs me?!?!" paranoid worries, and I'm even aware that HRC isn't universally loved among the full, entire LGBT+ community. But at the very least, politics aside, even more than waving a banner of equality, I want to be another voice helping any early-stage LGBT+ around know that they're not alone, and they have supporters.

 

@ElizabethStar: I haven't commented much on this before, but I've always been thrilled for you to hear all your stories of how well things are going being "out" at work!!! Cheers! 🎉

 

2 hours ago, Ann W said:

I'm jumped up and down for you...twice!  I have such similar feelings about this whole thing.  I have spent this week gathering names of therapists (but not calling them yet), so I'm kinda proud of you for making it happen.  Cheers!

 

Hee heee, thanks, you really are a sweetheart! I feel like trans-sisters with you, since we're both at such a similar stages in all of this. (And because I've recently learned that I love singing ;) )

 

I was feeling SOO daunted by the idea of "OMG, how do I even BEGIN to go about looking for a gender therapist???" I'm very glad for you that you even have a list of candidates. For me, that was the hard part, just knowing where to start. I'm very much looking forward to hearing you proudly declare that you're seeing a good one :)

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Heather Nicole
2 hours ago, Ann W said:

Now we're talking!  Looking good Heather.  Those look like really good choices.

💜

 

Thanks, Ann! 💖

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      It sounds like everyone had a great day yesterday. I'm really happy to have read so many wonderful posts. I had my kids and we spent the day stuffing our faces and watching movies or playing video games. They enjoyed the day I think. I'm always sad when they have to leave but, that is exactly why I make sure I am right here and available to them when they are here. I am sad that I have to miss half of their time since my divorce. In a lot of ways I guess I feel lucky I get that. I am thankful for finding the strength to break free of the harshness I was experiencing. I made coffee this morning and have been cooking bacon in the oven. I will be doing all of my holiday shopping online this year. I hope to avoid store as much as possible for the next few weeks. My ex and her family don't care about the virus and had a gathering of over 15 people yesterday and are doing it again today. I can't control that but, I disagree with such blatant disregard of reality in the name of tradition. At the same time, I do understand how difficult life is for people that are not used to being alone. 
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      If only it took US about three seconds of screen time and a grindy noise to get where we need to be...   Oh well. I'm still dressed for the gym in my "If you want a perfect girl, go buy a Barbie" tank (gym time pays off, I can ROCK a tank) and my boot-cut jeans with the neat stitching pattern on the sides.   Hugs!
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      Well everything was great yesterday. Good food good company even kidnapped one of my grandsons. Brought him to Grandma and grandpa's for the weekend. Grandma is going to take him home on Sun. Did some bench racing too. My daughter in law's best friends boy friend is a big car guy. was great talking cars. It has been ages since I was really able to do that.   I'm like you Willow I refuse to shop any of this Holiday. It was bad enough having to work during it. Let alone be part of it.   Hugs, Kymmie
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