Morning everyone, I can't say I have had the best morning but I did go to my therapist appointment so that made me feel better about my week. This morning my brother was being really transphobic and making fun of my hair, though I really like it. He kept saying things like "Trans people are dumb" and "You will always be a girl" He said really hurtful things and I tried to tell my stepmom, she used the camera to go back through and listen and she just told me to grow up. I also fought with my dad because he didn't like my hair, I told him that it was my hair so I could have it however I want. I just wish they would call me Aidan, that would mean the world to me, or even just "A" anything but my deadname. I left my house crying because I can't hold it in anymore, 2 years of this, I just have 1 more left.
But on a good note, my fish babies are doing well.
@Josie Beth you are still young so don't discount being able to establish yourself in a job you can be happy with. Have you considered moving to a place that may be more accepting and that offers better job protections? It doesn't seem like you are attached to the area you are in.
I agree with Lucca on all points. And would add that disclosing one's identity as trans would be in their best interest I believe, even if they are passing and/or post op. I say that primarily for safety. But also for acceptance, for ourselves and from others. There's that population that wants to deny they are trans, and I think it's healthy to accept that about ones self.
I suppose it COULD be considered transphobic if the sole reason you're refusing to "swipe right" is that the person in question is trans. If you're otherwise attracted to them, why wouldn't you give it a chance? The compatible genitals thing is kind of a non-issue for me. It might have mattered more when I was younger, but there are plenty of work-arounds if you have a little creativity and a desire to please your partner. I probably don't have to tell anyone here, but there are more ways to "have sex" than what they taught you about in sex-ed. As far as I'm concerned, if everybody had a good time and gets to climax, the evening was a rousing success.
It's not very transphobic though. More... I don't know, ignorant? I think it goes back to, "Oh, that's really a man," thinking. We're getting past that, but it's a big leap for the older generation. What constitutes the older generation varies by region. Some places are more progressive than others.
I don't like the idea of hiding it either... but that seems like something that I also don't have to reveal right away. If things look like they're getting to the point where it could be an issue (hey, I'm a good girl, I don't put out on the first date) then your partner should be informed. Though in my case, I look like a log with breasts glued on so I can't imagine a prospective partner wouldn't at least suspect.
So yeah, I guess the problem is that we're not in a great spot as far as our acceptance by society. It makes it hard for us to find a love connection because prejudice, cultural artifacts and propaganda from a certain segment of the population. It's not fair. It strongly curtails our ability to find happiness with another human. We have to deal with it though. At least it's better now than it was twenty years ago, right?
I did take the time to try and explain the difference and that it’s not a simple choice between keeping my life as is or being my true self. I explained how I fully understand what this means for my life going forward. The loss I will experience. The hate and fears of others.
But some will never get it. Educated or not. They have to want to understand before they can understand and unfortunately there are so many with a narrow preconceived conception of what this all is.
it is not my job to educate everyone I know but I at least try to explain myself. Try to be understanding to their feelings and just ask for support and love. Not advice.
You know her better than us. If things are bad, do not be afraid to cut ties. You do not need toxic people in your life.
DNA may be shared in a biological family, but true Family is made of those you love and who love you back unconditionally.
OMG. I had no idea the decision was reversed. Some people truly sicken me with just how awful they can be. My heart is breaking for Luna and her mom.
I hope this storm blows over quickly, but I suspect it won’t, with the appeal made.
My mother and I have always had a strained relationship due to her always being the kind of person that says whatever she wants. Hurtful or not with no concerns of how the person will take it. She is never wrong and it’s always some one else’s fault. I do not respond well to her personality.
So this new issue in her life is a fertile field of places to plant her “advice” and wisdom on how I need to do things. It is not for my benefit or a concern for me either mentally or not. It’s how she feels and what she thinks is the only true course of action I need to take.
Which as you can see doesn’t sit well with me.
But I will just keep trying. Slowly.