Sadly I'm afraid it's human nature for 3 people to split into a pair (us) and an outcast (them). It seems to work like that at a very deep level.
Couples therapy for me, regardless of the therapist's gender, always turned into me being the isolated target.
My gender therapist has already suggested having some sessions including my female partner to help explain - and to get the wording right, if that makes sense.
If your gender therapist can help you and wants to explain things to your wife, it may be very useful in getting through the rough spots.
Yes, the VA can be surprisingly wonderful.
In my last therapy session, my therapist asked me what pronouns I wanted to use during the transition (for now we're going with male ones since that is what I appear to be) and what was my preferred name. I told her "Tommie" (in Gaelic, Tammie and Tommie are each variant spellings of the same name) then as I was leaving she called me Tommie and I had the strangest warm feeling.
It's nice that they seem to go out of their way to be sweet to us.
Congratulations on your step forward Kymmie!
Happy birthday Debra!
I'm on my 3rd sip of coffee (maybe it's more like a slurp).
With the holidays and family looming, I'm feeling very uneasy. Wish I were in a better place, I'm certainly feeling less settled in life than i expected to be by this age.
But I guess managing expectations is what it's all about.
But I don't know whether to expect the best or the worst.
Some really great thoughts shared with you here, Laura. I'm not sure I could add much to those except to state my belief that we are not on this earth to be unhappy. Each and every one of us deserves happiness.
Time is so limited in life that it's not worth trying to sacrifice your own happiness in the (probably in vain) hopes of making someone else happy - especially if they seem to be shifting the goal posts.
Let me offer you a big hug and a thank you for sharing this.
I logged in this morning feeling very isolated and alone. You've reminded me that I am not alone.
That sounds a good idea, at least for some. I don't know how many such numbers you have over there but, for me, it gets confusing if numbers mount. I would still be calling 999 here which I learn't when I was little as a single easy remembered number rather than having to make a decision from unclear memory. I would not remember all ours without looking : 999, 111, 101 and 112. That is without a suicide line although 112 is the same as 999. Otherwise advising use of the Samaritans number here (free and unlisted on bills) 116 123. Obviously more to remember, but at least no area code so only six digits.
Thanks for sharing this, IMO you deserve happiness, I too struggled with the same feelings you have and it took a major life event to open my eyes. My wife of 20 yrs knew from the start I was at the least a cross dresser and she tried to accept it in much the same ways as yours (“I know you have to but I can’t really accept it”) type of way. Now that these things have happened and I came out as what I truly am my marriage is better. I had geared myself for divorce as well knowing her history. Like others have said be very careful of her sudden focus and deadline for a baby. Life is too short to make others happy when you can’t be happy yourself. It’s actually impossible to do. Find a new therapist and do some true soul searching to find out who you really are. Unfortunately it sounds like she won’t be able to be there for you, remember that’s not really her fault or yours, it was brought about by uncontrollable circumstances. I hope you can find yourself through all this and find happiness in whoever you may be.
Me too, Sandra. I started at about 8, I seem to remember, but there were times before then when I just tripped on tight DIY costumes. I've reached 75 years with those same things as you, and I'm very happy to know I'm not the only fogy on this forum. I'm sitting here in a comfortable black bra that's starting to poke, and tight fitting tuckable panties. The feelings are moving away from sexual gratification toward enjoyment of the sensations and some understanding of how women feel. I'm letting my hair grow out, enjoy the "curls" in the mornings, but other than home, I wear it in a man-style pony with a bandana head scarf. I imagine myself as a young attractive girl, I enjoy dressing up alone at home, but the sight greeting me in the mirror turns me off on the idea of "presenting" in public. Uugglyyy.
Really, I have no idea what to make of it all. This forum is teaching me to accept, "It is what it is." I shop on ebay and AliExpress, where the clothes are cheap in price and quality, but it's fun getting new stuff in the mail. Go try it on immediately, usually with my collection of vibes, but they're becoming irrelevant. So I don't know where this path will lead me, but I don't care much at my age, and I'm curious to see the sights along the way. From here on out, we fogies can live our lives the way we want and I enjoy trying to figure out what that is.
Hope to talk some more, friend.
That “mold“ is always changing with the times and it’s likely your view and understanding of yourself will change and develop over time. In my own journey, as I reach each new milestone and look back on my thoughts and beliefs, I noticed how much they have changed as well. Each journey is unique and independent of everyone else's.
Japan has been very slow to adopt policies & laws to protect trans rights. Not surprising in a tradition-bound male dominated society.
Thank you @Jackie C. truly is important to find what makes me happiest. I lose sight of that a lot and get caught up in other things. I really appreciate your wisdom! The only thing stopping me from finding that happiness is myself.