Good morning All. Coffees on.

[Debra Michelle]

Had the cops come in today,employee brought in a customer's car to work on and opened the trunk.Full of marijuana,I witnessed it and told him not to touch.I called them and the customer's son was arrested,his marijuana.Customer wasn't too happy finding out her car was seized including to her son.I did get things done as well,clutch job done in a couple of our tow trucks.Serviced a customer's truck too

[Krisvm]

Today is a day when I have to do a load of stuff, my mother-in-law is coming tomorrow so have to clean the house up and do all the shopping today. However, one of those days when I just wish I could lie around the house and make myself look pretty.

Ah well, maybe I will treat myself to something from Starbucks or a cheeky little purchase from a clothes shop to convince myself to do more.

[SamanthaC]

Brrr. Seemed to cold very quickly in Raleigh. Sitting in Starbucks having a coffee waiting for my wife and daughter to finish a 10k, city of oaks. Beautiful sunny day, but boy it is cold.

 

[Charlize]

The temperatures have dropped as well here.  We had a heavy freeze the last two nights so the pastures are mostly gone.   I'm happy to have gotten our hay in.  First fire of the year last night in the wood stove.  Life gets a bit tougher this time of year but in many ways i enjoy the fact that the farm is mostly ready.  I was mostly done with the maple tubing repair until we had a nasty storm which dropped a lot of trees and branches so i'm busy with the chainsaw.

I'm so fortunate to be myself, still able to work the farm and care for my wife and myself. 

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KymmieL]

Well this AM is a little warmer that it has been. officially 35. Almost shorts weather, LOL.

 

Well life around here, is back to normal. Not a word has been said about what happened on Halloween. In a nut shell, my wife is one of the two gender types. You where born a man or a woman, and that is the way it is.  nothing else. She married a man, period end of story. I can continue my life becoming a woman. But I will no longer be married. We would still be friends. I am not ready for that, there is no place for me to go.

 

$$ would be no problem as I have my VA disability, but that helps pay the rent here. I could be a real witch and just leave my family to fend for themselves. But I can't do that right now. There is that weird thing called Love that keeps me here. As far as I know this never left the house. My other two sons don't know what happened. Will my wife tell them, I don't know.

 

I know I need to take care of me, live the life I need to live. But right now the only thing that I care about is my family, nothing of myself.

However I am doing  OK. hurt sure. With the freedom I felt going out as my true self. How long will it last. I am still looking into positions at the home office in Springfield, MO. Nothing right now that I would consider. I have time to decide on what I want, no need to do.

 

Kymmie

[TommieAnne]

Morning coffee thread... and I have to confess being stuck with motel coffee all weekend. Met with my therapist early on Friday.* My adventures at the Pride Festival were non eventful, which was fine. My experience at the arts center was energizing and wonderful.

I'm tired, looking forward to getting back in my studio with a few new tricks.

Wish everyone a wonderful day.

 

*At my therapist's suggestion, I redid myself from Mtf to NonBinary although simply Gender Nonconforming is probably closest description. It figures I would be the square peg, even among a group of square pegs, but so be it. I'm beginning to think I may come to terms with myself and my life.

[NB Adult]

Good for you TammyAnne! So often our transition is not a cookie cutter experience, we are all uniquely different individuals.

[Debra Michelle]

I did reunite with my twin sister,was really emotional.We ran up to each other and hugged.My husband was there to see it happen and saw it did change my life around.Talked and learned we felt the same in the past now happy as women.She is a redhead like me and proud of that too.Is married too,her husband Todd whom I did meet too.She did meet my husband too.Threw a sisters forever t shirt to me as well.

[NB Adult]

Very heartwarming and encouraging to others Debra Michelle!

[ShawnaLeigh]

59 minutes ago, Debra Michelle said:

I did reunite with my twin sister,was really emotional.We ran up to each other and hugged.My husband was there to see it happen and saw it did change my life around.Talked and learned we felt the same in the past now happy as women.She is a redhead like me and proud of that too.Is married too,her husband Todd whom I did meet too.She did meet my husband too.Threw a sisters forever t shirt to me as well.

This is amazing.  I am so happy for the both of you.  

[Debra Michelle]

3 hours ago, ShawnaLeigh said:

This is amazing.  I am so happy for the both of you.  

It is,glad we are back together.Told her I am having the GCS in January 2020,told me it's well worth it.Had hers in 2002 and shown her results

[NB Adult]

Two trans women I know showed me their new equipment, they were absolutely giddy about it, Marcie Bowers does nice work with both inner and outer labia.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Id say good morning but for me it is not.  I posted about my coming out to my wife which was not so positive.  I am feeling pretty crushed right now but still went to work to keep myself busy.

I am so tired.  So exhausted from crying I just want to not cry anymore.

But its a new day and I am past the stress and anxiety of telling her at least.  That hug weight has lifted off my shoulders.  yes I am very upset but feel less stress over it.  I now can focus on what I need to do for her and myself.

I hope you all have a good day.

I am going to try.

 

[TommieAnne]

Hugs and support to anyone needing one this morning.

Thanks for the support, too!

I'm feeling a bit bashed after recognizing the square peg/round hole thing.

It's disconcerting to not feel like I belong anywhere.

But coffee is in the mug, I have a studio to get back to, so I will make the best of it.

Wishing the best for everyone, with an extra, warm hug for everyone.

[Willow]

I made coffee for the two of us like I've been doing for a while. @KymmieL  and @ShawnaLeigh , from what I've been told by my therapist, read here and by others at support meetings, spouse's are rarely fully accepting.  Many, unfortunately, move on, but not all.  When I came out to my wife, I was not expecting the reaction I got, it was much worse than I anticipated, but it was a load off me.  That was part of it, "I dumped my burden on her".  I won't go into it all here.  18 months later we are still together but we've both made compromises.  There are days she is supportive, there are days we don't think about or talk about it and there are days that she gets upset or downright angry. We have shopped for clothes together, she has helped with makeup, she has even helped with bras.  But I also get Why did you marry me if you've felt this way all your life  yada yada.  Anyway, married life is a series of compromises and to continue, you are both going to have to set ground rules and expect that they will be broken by both parties at times.  But if you, like me, want to retain what you have in your marriage you are going to have to go slow and give in a lot, expect days when things are bad but eventually you can also look forward to days that go well.

 

Willow

[ShawnaLeigh]

1 hour ago, Willow said:

I made coffee for the two of us like I've been doing for a while. @KymmieL  and @ShawnaLeigh , from what I've been told by my therapist, read here and by others at support meetings, spouse's are rarely fully accepting.  Many, unfortunately, move on, but not all.  When I came out to my wife, I was not expecting the reaction I got, it was much worse than I anticipated, but it was a load off me.  That was part of it, "I dumped my burden on her".  I won't go into it all here.  18 months later we are still together but we've both made compromises.  There are days she is supportive, there are days we don't think about or talk about it and there are days that she gets upset or downright angry. We have shopped for clothes together, she has helped with makeup, she has even helped with bras.  But I also get Why did you marry me if you've felt this way all your life  yada yada.  Anyway, married life is a series of compromises and to continue, you are both going to have to set ground rules and expect that they will be broken by both parties at times.  But if you, like me, want to retain what you have in your marriage you are going to have to go slow and give in a lot, expect days when things are bad but eventually you can also look forward to days that go well.

 

Willow

Tahnk you that is helpful.  I am not saying she was mean or even mad which freaked me out to be truthful.  Its that it was so cut and dry on her final FINAL decision.  But time will tell.

[Josie Beth]

I don’t talk about this much but at one time I really thought I had found the love of my life who would accept me for who I was. What really drove home the end of the relationship was when they said “I won’t be happy if we stay together, even though I love you very much” and at the time this was devastating. I felt as though I had lost my compass. I cried for months and didn’t finish grieving for years. But in retrospect it was exactly what I needed to hear and it was one more hint that I was not being truthful with myself. Looking back now it’s so obvious that it wasn’t going to work out because no matter what I tried to do to explain my feelings or what I was aching to reveal about myself, they were not capable of accepting it. And I could not continue to suppress that part of me just to satisfy someone else’s vision of who I should be. So now I don’t get involved with other people in the same way but if they insist on trying and I feel that I can trust them, revealing myself is not as devastating because they haven’t invested anything in a relationship. And if they still want to pursue something in spite of that then it’s probably an indication that it has at least a better starting place than with someone who has already built up certain expectations. Instead of worrying about all of that though I just think of people as potential friends and allies who I have to get to know instead of a potential mate where there’s all this pressure to keep from being alone. I’m open to possibilities instead of being devastated over loss. Just because I’m not a success story in the relationship department right now doesn’t mean I never will be. It’s just not the right time yet.

[ShawnaLeigh]

Josie. I am so glad you chimed in.  You anyways make me feel better.  Thank you.  

[Debra Michelle]

New mechanic working out good for us.A neighbor's kid,I went over to give him a job offer on Friday and he told me yes.He is a good kid,got layed off at another shop a month ago and loves it.His first day and patient on things not getting mad.26 years old and he is respectful to my husband and I

[Jani]

Very good for you to get your staffing level back up so quickly.  I hope he works out.

 

[Debra Michelle]

12 hours ago, Jani said:

Very good for you to get your staffing level back up so quickly.  I hope he works out.

 

So far good,a customer came up to me and said he treated her right.This customer had her car in for a banging noise in the trunk complaint,her husband left 3 bowling balls rolling around in the trunk.He found it and showed it to her.Knew her husband used it Monday night,explained her very well it was this.

[Jani]

Great, hopefully a repeat customer!

[Debra Michelle]

A long time customer of ours

[lauraincolumbia]

3 hours ago, Debra Michelle said:

A long time customer of ours

Great to hear!

[ShawnaLeigh]

My coffee is gone too and I miss it already.  LOL

My life has been a roller coaster as of late but things feel positive today.  Talks and texting with my wife continue at a good and healthy rate and have remained positive.  The undercurrent of her ultimatum of ending the marriage if I continue on my path still hangs heavy on my heart but I have hope still.

I hope everyone has a great day.

I'm doing my best to.

But work...  UUUghhh