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Non reported incidents of my life in dallas


elizabeth22

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Idk.. so many people many places... Before I accepted gender dysphoria as a concept ... Been in a choke hold....

Shelter... Colonitis... Therapy.... 

Too many stuff but yeah it happened to me in DFW.

I recently used national hotlines to just conclude to relocate to Austin tx

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  • Admin

I am so sorry to hear that, and I think you are making a good move to a safer area.  Life should not be that way, but there are wonderful people out there for us, but we do have to take action to find them.

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Elizabeth i'm glad you've moved to Austin.  As i see see recent attitudes as presented in the press about Texas i've noticed that a change might be forthcoming.  Beto seems to be making progress but the pushback is equally strong.  Please stay safe.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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  • 3 weeks later...

Gawd I was in the ER a few times over the past 30 days here and because I feel so freaking cursed now because of various things I try to bite my lip and relocate... all I do is try to enjoy life and buy clothes and stuff but the things I'm dealing with being ...

It makes me feel more of a trapped girl in my body than ever now and I feel like I can't do crap.  Some people see me more femme while others just see me male... With little to no makeup.

And since my PTSD roots into my childhood and throughout adulthood, I'm growing to not just have the dyphoria a an idea but a mere hatred about EVRYTHING that makes me think of being a male on top of anything I used to associate with (hobbies, possessions, etc) 

 

I feel cursed.

Why am I targeted so even back growing up when I was what my parents wanted?

Why have so many tried to hurt / threaten to kill me? Why was I raped in a shelter when they said I would be safe there?

 

Why does it seem the whole world is against me?!!?

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Keep trying to move forward dear.  I know how easy it is to get caught up in the past.  I've lived through experiences that when remembered bring tears to my eyes.  I do my best to remember today is a new day.  That helps.  Things that have happened will always be there.  I've learned some from those experiences.  If nothing else i try to see the best of today.

I'm glad you are posting.  Your not alone

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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      MISPRINT above - I now see the light   I looked in the mirror and I didn't like the person I saw - but now - thank goodness - I am seeing the light and the light is helping me see the real me.................................
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      I was always so jealous of my ex when I watched her nursing. Welcome, Danusia
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      Hi everyone ! Ok, so... I think I have a question, which might be quite simple, but the anwser to it may not be so. How to deal with feelings of shame regarding gender ? It's just something that I struggle with a lot, and even if I tell myself that I musn't be ashamed to think I'm probably a guy, knowing it and feeling it really are different stories. And I think my shame is blocking me from acknowledging what I feel most comfortable with in being and in the way I want to present. Because for example I feel sad when I dress as a woman, but so embarrassed when I dress as a man because some part of me tells me it's inappropriate or even dangerous... And so, experimenting and presenting myself as who I want to be gets cloaked by my fears and some kind of stupid conviction that it's somehow "bad" and that I'm not normal... So if you had any advice for me to feel a bit better about myself (also to have a clearer idea of who I am without constantly judging if what I do is good/bad), or tell me how you managed to let go of that specific fear of not being normal or anything, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm aware shame must be a common feeling, but you know, if you had any tricks... I think I could see better who I am rather than who I'm taught to be.
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      @Jackie C. Better awkward poking then finding problem.
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      Just kidding words of wisdom Cyndee
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