Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

jae bear

Breast augmentation, what is normal? Is there such a thing as normal anymore?

Recommended Posts

jae bear

 So today at 3:30 I drove all the way to San Francisco to talk with Dr Simonds  about my upcoming breast augmentation. My goal is to simply blend in with every other female out there, I’ve never given it much thought, I’ve grown a fair pair all on my own with the last 19 months of estrogen, but still not quite exactly what I’d like to have. I find if I stand up straight these days that what I do have with the right bra  seems to allow me to blend in very well, but right now all the magic is in that bra,  and I sure could use a little help in this department. I like being able to fit into most close very easily, and I realized since my breasts will be rather far apart because of the width of my chest that having obvious  cleavage is really not a realistic goal, but that really isn’t what makes you blend in anyway, now is it? I certainly don’t want to be too big as that will stand out like a sore thumb, but being the size that I am with a wider chest something to fill in the gap would certainly help.  Just referencing cup sizes doesn’t seem to make any difference since it really has a relevant difference based on the band size, my 42 A cup bra would certainly be considered a B cup if it were a 38 or 36 band size. I’m starting to think I would be perfectly comfortable in the C cup Range,   But until I have the second consultation before surgery I won’t get to play with the implants to see what feels right. Sometimes I feel like I must be the biggest tomboy in the trans community, since I just don’t feel like I need very much to feel female these days.  I’ve been full-time for months now, and I basically pass...  no one questions me, no one gives me the side eye, I transact with people directly and communicate not 2 feet from them on a regular basis and somehow they just don’t see that the left side of my face has a beard shadow, it’s just off their radar, and for the rest of it clearly I just pass these days.  All of this experience has taught me one thing, I don’t need all of the things I thought used to need, they were really more of a want, what I need is very different from what I thought I wanted. I’d like to find a way to get my needs and my wants to coincide with one another, overlapping neatly, this by the very definition could also be called happiness, something that everyone often  says that they hope I achieve once everything is done. I wish I could explain to them that I’m not trying to achieve happiness, I’m just trying to be, living freely as myself, trying not to be a caricature of a person but simply an authentic version of myself. Long ago I once thought that the most female of everything was best, and big breasts topped my chart, After having lived as female with the small breasts that I do currently have I find that they are no less female then if they were larger.  I think something modest but correctly sized would be good for me, something between a full B and a C  Cup sounds somewhere in the ballpark. I honestly think a D cup would probably just be in the way and obnoxious, I don’t feel like punishing myself in that fashion. I’m curious what the thoughts of others are, both those who have transitioned and those who have not,  i’m curious what you would want for yourself, and the reasons you have for those wants,  i’m curious to know what the reality of your needs are, and what it is like living with your augmentation and what you might change if you could?

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

Share this post


Link to post
tracy_j

Hi Jackie,

 I am a before rather than after, but I see things in several ways. From a family experience, genetics point of view the women in our family have had modest breasts so I have not grown up around large ones. This also indicates that if I were on hormone therapy I would not likely get large ones either. Another influence is that surgery is something to be avoided if possible. Non of our family, as far as I am aware, have every contmplated it except for essential medical reasons.

 

Having said that, though, the greatest influence that I have had is from the experiences of women themselves. From my teen years, when I was (I am findng now) heavily influenced by the experiences of a schoolfriend, who was heavily endowed, when she went for reduction surgery. The background of the problems women with large breasts endure has lived with me ever since, and is re-inforced by experiences I come across.

 

My personal thought are that, although it would be nice to have larger breasts from a sexual point of view, that is not as important as my health, and not really essential otherwise either. My dominant femine side is happy to be small breasted, although a relationship would be a bit embarrasing at first.

 

Tracy

Share this post


Link to post
Kirsten

Over the years I have tried so many different sized forms it’s ridiculous. I literally have bras from a cup to dd. But through all of that I learned that less is more. 

I think what you should think about is what size is just big enough to make you okay with your chest. They are heavy. And get in the way. And bigger boobs wear out bras much quicker. Also gravity will play a role. Eventually your skin will stretch. Saggy implants are not very forgiving. Another thing to think of is how much help your current tissue will be with blending what you get with your body. Obviously less is more here too. 

 

For my self, I want a full c-cup. I’d be happy with a b as well, but my shoulders are broad. I have always felt that my c-cup forms blended with me the best. And if I want to look bigger they have bras now that’ll add up to 2 sizes! Or cutlet forms. There’s always ways to accentuate your breasts even more if you really want to. But you can’t make em smaller without surgery. Personally I just don’t want to carry anything bigger around for the next 30 years+  My wife has a dd chest and she wishes for a reduction all the time. (Also a stipulation on my top surgery is she gets hers as well. Maybe bogo!?! 🤣🙄

It’s really something you’ll have to play with. I recommend trying some forms. They’ll at least give you some clue as to weight and how in the way they’ll be. It’s more than just the looks. They’ll be with you for quite some time afterall.  

Share this post


Link to post
Jani
8 hours ago, jae bear said:

ll of this experience has taught me one thing, I don’t need all of the things I thought used to need, they were really more of a want,

This is true.  Once we reach a certain point we see what we really need to live authentically.  

 

8 hours ago, jae bear said:

I wish I could explain to them that I’m not trying to achieve happiness, I’m just trying to be, living freely as myself,

Isn't that happiness?

 

As to implants, I have read over and over that they do not last forever so at your age you would have to plan for at least one more surgery to replace them at some point.  I've considered them but that point is on the negative side of the ledger.   As Kirsten says, "its more than just looks"  its how you interact with them in daily life.  Will they be a burden, get in the way, draw too much attention...  I have a relative who had reduction and she wasn't particularly large.  There is something to be said for "just enough".

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear
18 minutes ago, Jani said:

There is something to be said for "just enough".

 

 This makes an awful lot of sense to me...  I don’t want anything big or in the way, honestly what I have now is already starting to get in the way.  I am thinking that I would like to talk to my sister about this, I’m not sure what size she is but I do know it’s modest and perfectly female. I suppose the only real goal I have is to feel comfortable and female, it really doesn’t take much breast tissue to do that, all my genetic female friends tell me one thing,  less is more and they wish they had less than they have now. This is all very good advice, and making a lot of sense to me now that I’ve been full-time long enough to realize that what  I have even now is perfectly recognizable as female. 

 Hugs, 

Jackie

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

When I had GRS, I remember one of my sisters asking me "you're not have breast augmentation too, are you?"   It wasn't on my radar then as I was still growing.  Even now I am at a point where I think I look fine.  There are better things to spend my money on.

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

Hey Jani 

 I’ve been stacking up my surgery schedules, and adjusting as I go, but Kaiser pretty much pays for everything so I really don’t have any complaints about money when it comes to these things... Even when it comes to FFS I think I’m going to be backing down a little on some of my Wishlist, I don’t really think I need lip augmentation, but I do feel I need a lip lift, I’m also second-guessing the idea of cheek augmentation, estrogen may take me where I need to be with that one.  I think if I was going to spend my money anywhere I would go to the hair club and get the peaks in my hairline filled in,  maybe get my teeth whitened a little. The things that I feel important these days, the things I feel I need rather than want,  are Electrolysis, my estrogen prescription, losing a touch more weight, Growing out my hair, having the hair club fill in the peak areas so I can pull my hair back straight, improving my posture, improving the pitch of my voice, my tone, cadence and prosody are spot on, but my pitch could use some help, and of course GRS.

 What I want it’s a little different, I want a little tiny bit more breast volume, I want a few of the features of FFS like bringing my hairline down, lifting my brow line, and a lip lift, And sometimes I feel I want the vocal surgery, but that one scares the pants off me since I would hate to wreck my voice or sound like Minnie mouse.  One of my friends recently got the surgery so I really want to spend some time listening to her, she is in my insurance network and the vocal surgery is covered, the downside being you can’t talk for 15 days after the surgery, that may be a serious problem for me.🙄 However upon hearing this all of my friends tell me I desperately need this surgery, possibly several times a year 😋

 Hugs, 

 Jackie 

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Electrolysis is better done sooner than later!  You are correct about letting E work, even years after starting.  Remember Puberty is several year long process.   Even with voice surgery you have to spend a lot of time with a vocal coach to train so that might be something to start now as well.  You might be surprised and not need surgery.  I have a friend who spend time with a coach and her voice is great now.  Plus I've read vocal surgery isn't always 100% successful.  That would scare me.   I've have realized that If I don't pay attention my voice does slip into a deeper range in conversation.  Practice a lot and the muscle memory will remain.  You've heard my voice, its never questioned but I do focus on inflection and rhythm when I talk.  Many women have vocal range that is more low than high.  Plus you do look fem so that all adds up to acceptance.  

1 hour ago, jae bear said:

the downside being you can’t talk for 15 days after the surgery, that may be a serious problem for me.🙄

Do you think!!!

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

Hey Jani 

 Oh my goodness yes, Electrolysis, Electrolysis, Electrolysis ...  I typically go every Sunday, usually around the four hour mark I give up, but my electrologist is very good and very methodical. The Entire left side of my face and my mustache area are pretty much clear, just the regular cleanup work these days, the other side and under my mouth are next, followed by more cleanup work. Then the dreaded neck area followed by yet more cleanup work.  I’ve been going to Electrolysis for something like six or seven months, and I have probably a year to a year and a half left to go, but since I go to a straight galvanic operator the results are so much more permanent right out of the gate, even on the first pass the follicle kill rate is very high. I will most likely start working on some downstairs area Electrolysis once were in some of the cleanup phases, as it can be done in six months but I’d rather spread it across a year so I don’t have to be tortured quite as much as one would have to at an accelerated pace prior to GRS. 

 I’ve seen my vocal Coach several times, but he says I don’t need his help, he tells me the only thing I can work on is pitch at this point, and he’s not very concerned about it the way it is anyway... To be honest the vocal surgery scares me too, I’ve heard the same bad things, but it does intrigue me if it did indeed raise my pitch without requiring me to constantly check myself, I do really well in the morning or on the phone, but once I start getting tired towards the evening my pitch starts dropping,  but likely never really out of the female range anyway. Living full-time has taught me that I need so much less than I thought I did, and I may find I need even less than I think I do now as the next few months pass, every day I seem to get a little more easy with myself, and every day fewer and fewer people question my gender, as it is now they hardly ever do,  passerby‘s all assume I’m female, and most people who deal directly with me do as well, those who question or aren’t quite sure never say a word, and these days the only things I hear are “ma’am”, “miss” or when out with friends, “ladies”...

 Hugs, 

Jackie

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

 Oh yes I almost forgot, ha ha ha ha, yes sometimes the best thing my vocal coach could ever have told me is to just talk a little bit less, quiet and polite fairly much scream “female“!

Share this post


Link to post
Sakura

I am about 9 years post breast augmentation. I went from a modest b cup to a DD. I know it seems large but as my surgon told me he has never had a patient complain that she went to big. And he is right 9 years later and I am still ecstatic about my chest. A few things though when deciding on the type of implant and the placment is key to the natural look. I am not sure if it is standard now (it wasn't when I got mine done) silicone polymer gel implants CODE NAME" the gummy bears". Wen I went in with the mind set of saline they put a saline implant in one hand and a gummy bear in the other and sold me instantly they are also nearly indestructible and baring a sever chest injury can stay in forever as there is nothing to leak out. for a natural look go under the muscle implant, over the muscle implants typically show the implant more readily. With these two methods virtually every one that finds out I had BA are blown away by how natural the result looks.

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

 This is some amazing information, could you tell me a bit more about the under the muscle placement of the implant? How does it change the way you move and lift?  I was under the impression that going with the larger implant under the muscle would be difficult,  clearly you had no trouble going with a larger implant under the muscle. Do you know what specific size of implant it was that you received? I believe my surgeon only goes to a max of 450...

 Thank you for chiming in, 

Jackie

Share this post


Link to post
Jani
1 hour ago, jae bear said:

Living full-time has taught me that I need so much less than I thought I did, and I may find I need even less than I think I do now as the next few months pass...

This is an interesting revelation, isn't it?  Once the fear subsides many of us find we are all right as we are, just a little tweaking here and there.  

 

I know when I get tired my pitch changes for the worse too.  Got to work on that! 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
Sakura

I am not going to lie for the first couple of months my breast with out a bra on had a slightly square shape to them. This is because the muscle over the implant wants to return to its original shape. This freaked me out because it was not explained to me before my surgery and only after I called post op was I told that even in natal females it takes some time for them to become round. But after about 2-3 months they rounded out perfectly ( the muscle have to atrophy a bit) At first it did change the way I moved or lift simply due to the fact that no matter how developed you are now jumping 2-3 cup sizes takes some getting used to. Another thing that is not mentioned is that for the first year or so any flexation in the chest will be quite noticeable. example: say you push up off a bed or trying to push or pull something heavy the implant will push up and to the sides due to the muscle trying to flex and due the task. THIS WILL GO AWAY. again as the muscle further atrophy it all settles down those muscle become incapable of flexing at all. Though it will drastically reduce your physical strength in any pushing pulling motions after this totally occurs. I would recommend getting your surgery in the mid to late fall if you can so that this process is well under way by the time summer..and thus more revealing tops roll around.

 

My implants are 560cc if I remember correctly ( they give you a card with the size and serial numbers but I have long since lost it) My surgon didn't even hint to me that it would be a problem and so far it never was or has been.

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

 I really appreciate that information, it makes a lot of sense but until someone who has this experience shares it with you most of the surgeons leave you in the dark. My current surgeon is so tight lipped about suggestions I can’t get him to say anything about anything, quite frustrating. I’m certain he’ll say more in November when I have some pre-Op  visits, but on the initial consultation he declined to even make suggestions. I’ll do some more research of my own but I really value the information you provided, it made me rethink my position on under muscle placement and “gummy bear“ implants. 

 Hugs, 

Jackie

Share this post


Link to post
Sakura

Truthfully it was the nurses that helped me pick out my implants and the size and most helpful in that reguard to how they looked on me. They brought in several sizes of implants and a bra to try them in. It was unbelievably helpful to 1 have another womans opinion as your selecting some so deeply personal . 2 some one with the experience of placing them and 3 a woman who has had it done. She is actually the one that talked me into going larger. As she explained to me larger implants due to their weight also have a two fold effect on the aesthetics and over all look of your chest. The heavier implant bounces and jiggles more naturally. and the other being the final resting place, the weight of a larger implant pulls the muscle wall down slightly over time giving your breasts a more tear drop shape this is important if you want to wear swimsuits. I can attest to her being right on both counts. women who find out I have had BA comment that they expect them to look hard and ridged( mine don't) and I personally love how they look in a swimsuit.   While my Dr was great ( he just left somethings out :( ) I feel in the end it was his nurses that made the final results match  what I had pictured in my head.  Hopfully you have the same experience :) as if you find the right size for you the boost to your confidence can not be over stated.

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R

This thread is a goldmine of info on this subject.  This will be a very helpful thread if and when I make a decision on BA.  Thank you to all who shared here.  It's not easy to find this detail using normal searches on the web with first hand accounts.

 

On a related note.  Can one bookmark threads to your profile for "easy to find" future access?  If there is please let me know. Meanwhile I'll dig around and see what I can find.

 

SusanMtF

Share this post


Link to post
Jani

Susan, to the right of the thread title is a box with the word [Follow].  Selecting it presents a list of choices for getting notified of future input and to access the thread easily.  At your profile (upper right corner) select the Down arrow to see Manage Followed Content.  

 

Jani

Share this post


Link to post
TclosetGirl

I've had A cups (40A) for the past 10 years. While I don't pass, they are comfy, no loss of nipple sensation and HRT should get me back to a "B" - but as with you I believe a "C" will look most natural on my body, so if I am fortunate HRT will get me there this time (T is gone permanently now).

 

Think on that though, there is something about natural, but under a shirt nobody knows the difference :) I would consider this but have heard that loss of sensation is a big thing.

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

I have an A cup right now as well,  wearing a 42 A cup daily... ( if I had a 36 or 38 chest they would be a B cup ) They are quite noticeable then again I am full time these days so that works just fine for me. The more I think about it the more I’m thinking something in the C range would be fine, I just want my tops to fit nicely.  After nearly 2 years of HRT I have managed to lose a lot of weight and it seems to have concentrated the loss in my midsection allowing me to have a smaller waist line that I’m actually quite proud of, that combined with my wide Pelvic structure gives me modest hips... I really don’t want to give up being able to wear tops that show this one feature off, so I need to stay within reason on top to balance Things out. 😁

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

 I usually just wear T-shirts but this type is a little stretchy and still a bit tight on me, I don’t want to lose the ability to wear fitted tops since I have a modest figure that I really like, going too big on top would mess that up 

B840BDDA-9BCA-4249-B9D2-DA3DD6330942.jpeg

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R
2 hours ago, jae bear said:

I have a modest figure that I really like, going too big on top would mess that up 

You have a more beautiful curvature than most cis women.  This is quite impressive and hopeful.  I just hope my genetics work this well with my HRT.

 

Very nice pic, Jackie.  Thanks for sharing.

 

Susan R🌷

Share this post


Link to post
Susan R
On 10/24/2018 at 8:32 PM, Jani said:

Susan, to the right of the thread title is a box with the word [Follow].  Selecting it presents a list of choices for getting notified of future input and to access the thread easily.  At your profile (upper right corner) select the Down arrow to see Manage Followed Content.

How did I miss this feature and your post? TY Jani! 😊

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

  Hey Susan, 

I got those hips the hard way, 14 years ago I was hit by a Buick while riding a motorcycle and it broke my pelvis wide open and snapped it off my spine. When they screwed my pelvis back together then screwed it back to my spine I was on my back for three months and couldn’t move, so my hips actually settled down and widened out while it was all healing.  my right foot points out way too far but nobody notices that, however it does mean that my hips are tipped out wider than normal so I’ll take what I can get even if I had to spend three years in a wheelchair to get it !

Share this post


Link to post
jae bear

 Oh, and I almost forgot, I hardly have any abdominal muscles to speak of, they cut most of them when trying to repair my pelvis, and I never really regained very much strength there, so I have really weak abdominal muscles, but I can sit up in bed on my own if I need to, although I typically roll to one side before I do. That accounts for my smaller than average midsection. Again I’m just glad fate somehow delt me something I was happy to have later. 😋

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 103 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryMary
    • ToniTone
    • CrystalElaine94
    • Susan
    • Tamar
    • Alex C
    • TiaMaria
    • Kamarka
  • Topics With Zero Replies

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      68,537
    • Total Posts
      620,014
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      5,436
    • Most Online
      8,356

    underdress
    Newest Member
    underdress
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. MAKAYLA02
      MAKAYLA02
    2. morrv021
      morrv021
      (54 years old)
    3. Ty inCt
      Ty inCt
      (59 years old)
  • Posts

    • Kamarka
      Hello, Hello, I'm here to complain about my family because they can be downright medieval in my humble opinion. Since my brother is home for the summer, my father works at home, and I'm not doing much during the day besides helping my mother run things around here, that means I don't have a daily uniform. So, that being said, if I wanna be comfy, I get comfy. If I feel the need to bind and can't (usually because I need to give my ribs a break), I usually don't wear anything at all beneath shirts (big shirts. shirts that are not revealing or anything so i really don't think the no bra thing should be an issue). Bras tend to lift and accentuate what I have and when dysphoria hits that is literally the worst thing I can imagine. That's the first thing my family has a problem with. The second? Leg hair. Oftentimes I let it grow because it helps to defeminize my legs (and I guess the fact that they're angry about it means the effects not just working on me. So basically I'm not allowed to be near my brother or my father unless my calves are smooth as a baby's butt and I have a 'proper' bra on. Apparently these are 'the rules'. I have never agreed to these rules, nor did I know they had come into existence. If I break these 'rules' (which I have been for a few months) I get called butch, a '-lesbian-' (my apologies for including this slur), and other things including just plain 'disgusting'. For what? Some fuzz on my legs while my brother has a RUG ON HIS? I'm just tired of getting yelled at, so I usually pull myself from the situation. Like now! They're watching a movie I don't particularly enjoy upstairs and I'm down with my laptop, Netflix, and some frozen waffles I'm about to devour. Let's see if I can make them sweet enough to cover up how bitter I feel. Cheers. 
    • Kamarka
      Hi there Jaye! I'm so happy much of your family is ready and willing to help you through this process– Keep chasing that light!
    • Kamarka
      Hi, Dain! I might just give that book a read!
    • Kamarka
      I don't want to try and make light of the situation, so please call the helpline. Your beautiful life and soul matters so much in the grand scheme, no matter which path you are on or where you find yourself. There are people who love you and will miss you, and I for one am going to keep wondering where you are if I never hear from you. You've made it this far, so just make it a little farther! It's never too late to learn! Never! You've got to console yourself with that fact and do what you can, imo– Make a list of girly things you're dying to learn, join a group, just do what it takes to get yourself back on your feet again! People experience dysphoria in so many different ways, and I'm confident you can and WILL find how to combat it again and again and again https://www.translifeline.org/ 
    • CrystalElaine94
      Thank you guys for your advice! We may try the jewelry. He doesn't want anyone to know about it, not even our kids, so something like an ankle bracelet may be perfect! I got a new job and we are going clothes shopping for it tomorrow, so he may pick out a dress he likes that way it is his and not just one of mine. 
    • Raven1981
      So I am having some super dysphoria happing right now.  I just started having thoughts of wishing that I was a little girl.  I am having thoughts of everything I missed cause I was not a little girl.  I am hating these thoughts.  I just want to die cause the never got to do the activities that the little girls get to do.  I just want to die.  Why can't I do some of the stuff or learn the stuff that little girls get to do?
    • VickySGV
      Unless you work with a bunch of people I would not like to, your time is going to be whenever you want to based on your clothing options.  If you wear mechanics coveralls, you might never have to worry about it.  If you are a lifeguard at a pool that will be another problem.  The time frames I gave above on when the HRT will most likely have done what it is going to do also rely on your family biology as to how big you will get. Talk to your Gender Therapist for contingency plans based on "Prepare for the worst, hope for the best and take whatever comes your way with a smile." It will happen sooner than you think it will.
    • VickySGV
      When we get to the point of coming out to ourselves it is even more confusing than coming out to absolutely anyone else in the world.  We had feelings and ideas defined to us by others.  If they assigned you male at birth you got the definitions for boys, if you were assigned female, you got another set of definitions.  For those of us who have some degree of binary, getting the wrong definition was bad enough, but to my knowledge only the tiniest number of parents or communities have given their children the definitions of Non Binary life.   I am 60% binary Trans Female and 30% NB these days but I was given only the tools to understand being male as I was assigned at birth.  Long lead in to saying that you are discovering how to talk about yourself at  this point in the journey and it may take time even to you to find your very personal definition.  Don't worry we have been there, and you will come to where you can declare "This is ME" and know what that means. 
    • LeavesThatAreGreen
      Thanks for your support! I wish you the best of luck and I don't think 32 was too late for you either, you're looking pretty good! Inspiring to see all the different people here who are really making it work, gives me a lot of hope for the future. It's going to be a rough couple years here at times, but for the first time in my life I truly see the light at the end of the tunnel.
    • MaryMary
      hey, welcome I'm happy you are here and also happy that things seems to be going well. It's never too young to transition, we should not fall into that trap. To me it's a serious health concern (in the sense that it's not good to stay depressed and dysphoric for too long). It's great that people are doing this younger but the end goal is to be yourself and it's never too late to be yourself and to be happy I transitioned at 32 I was really old lollll I will send you positive energy so that it continues to go super well.
    • LeavesThatAreGreen
      I apologize in advance for how long and rambling this is going to be.   Well, in the past few weeks I've finally come to terms with the reality I've known for years. And I don't think a second too soon. I've been on a roller coaster ride these past few days, getting really wasted (not encouraging that behavior, nor do I mean to trigger anyone who suffers from alcohol abuse, just let me know if this part isn't ok) and crying my eyes out to music so loud the neighbors could hear it.   The first people I came out to were some people I knew online. I think I felt confident coming to them first because they have no idea what I looked like, they could instantly shift their perspective of me, and they did. They were incredibly accepting and to be treated like the person I really was for the first time was such an amazing experience and I felt a kind of happiness I've never felt before. Of course very soon after I was again wracked with self-doubt and shame. I almost got to the point where I felt like I was unsafe enough to check myself into in-patient (once again).   Realizing that my only options were seriously transition or die, the next day I came out to my therapist. Our scheduled meeting had to be called off, but when I emailed him to schedule a new one he offered to do a session over the phone. He was obviously incredibly supportive, said that he's had clients like me in the past and we'll have a lot to talk about the next session. Called me by my real name a million times and it was so great. Afterwards I called my brother and sister-in-law, which also went incredibly well, they're very open minded people, as is my mom who I called next. They all were supportive and agreed to try their best to get into the habit of using the right name and pronouns. I know it's gonna take a long time to adjust, and hell I still misgender myself even in my own head. I don't feel at this point that I'm worthy of being recognized yet, but I think I just have to fight through that. Telling my dad is going to be rough though, and I'm not even going to think about that for now.   As the title might suggest, I'm 22 and I'm not getting any younger. The thing that finally did it for me was noticing how masculine my body was getting. All of us sudden I experienced dysphoria intense enough to truly recognize it for the first time, and I realized that I've been dealing with it for years without knowing what it is. I've always been attracted to men so in the recent past I figured that "just being gay" would be enough, but obviously it's not the same thing. I could fight through it, but for some reason homosexual activity just didn't feel "right", not in a judgemental way, just in a "that's fine and all, and I'm into it, but it's not really me" way. Now I know what that reason was.   As far as the hand I've been dealt in terms of transitioning, I'm honestly pretty lucky. I think talking about the specific things I'm dealing with, for better or worse, is probably best for another thread. I've been reading around online and some people say that 22 is getting up there to start, but I don't think it is at all. Our bodies aren't even done developing until 25 or so, and it's NEVER too young to transition. I think most people who say "X is too old to transition" are trolls and transphobes who want us to choose the that only other option we have. Like I said, this isn't really the thread where I'd like to go into it, but in my opinion I don't have overly masculine features, and I think passing is well with-in the realm of possibilities for me sooner rather than later. I've got my work cut out for me, but in a lot of ways I really am lucky to be in the situation I am. Well, I mean if just being born the right gender wasn't an option.   Good luck to everyone else here, and I look forward to being a part of this community, Jaye
    • Ellora
      First of all Welcome! It's great to have you here! I have deleted and or walked away from many many posts, cause sometimes my mind wants to say a whole bunch, sometimes it flows, and sometimes it gets all tangled up. After i come back and read a bit more in here, i find i am able to write most of what I wanted to say in the post. Sometimes I "ramble on," but I feel better getting it out, instead of bottling it up. The TP community helps me with my thoughts and questions, and later I can see what and how i was thinking.  As abstract as you might think your thoughts are, they will make sense to us, cause we are and have been where you are right now, in some form shape and manner,   we either understand and/or can be here for you to help. (I hope all of that made sense, lol)  
    • carolcrissy
      Thanks to all for a warm welcome!😊
    • Ellora
      The Answer depends on the individual. For some people. their bodies might respond quickly, others not for years. I am 53 and have been on HRT for a little over 4 months and counting. I had an Orchiectomy a little over a month ago, and I am T free. I feel that My hips are starting to show, but not to anyone else. I can see slow breast growth happening , but only one comment about "have i been working out?" But thats Me, you and everyone else will probably have a different response. Speak with a Gender Therapist and your Doctor (that is fluent with the LGBTQ community), so they can help you with your journey. Continue researching until You are comfortable with your decisions. If you decide to start HRT, and do not like the way you look and or feel, then talk to your doctor, or stop all together.  Since you have a "year or two," you have plenty of time to do your research and talk to the GD therapist and your Doctor.  Best of luck in  your Journey!
    • Nebulous
      Facial hair is no longer my “beard”- pun intended as I’ve had laser hair removal. I guess my main question from here is the question of when the curves:fat redistribution and breasts became harder to hide. I do eventually want to live full time. I just won’t be ready to make that leap for another year or two though.
  • Upcoming Events

×
×
  • Create New...