Hello! I'm Susan

[Susan R]

I have been a member for a month now and I'm finally getting around to introduce myself.  I was raised in a strict Catholic family and so I had to come to terms with my gender identity. I knew I was female from a very young age but I was told not to express myself in that way early in life (age 4). I did as I was asked until puberty. I didn’t know why but my yearning to be female increased and I started crossdressing underneath my man clothes. I was caught by my parent a few times but oddly nothing was said. I was fine with that at the time as I didn’t understand what was happening. There was no internet and library’s had nothing on the subject at the time (I’m 56).

To confuse things more, I was seduced by a man who was 7 years my senior when I was still a teenager. I stayed secretly in that relationship for years and was only found out by my brother who kept it a secret. After ending this relationship in my 20’s, I moved in with another man who was like myself…transgendered. We attended a LBGTQ group in our city (Seattle) for years and enjoyed all who we met. Although, to be truthful, I didn’t feel like I was growing much spiritually at that time which bothered me.  My room mate and I lived as females together part time (dusk to dawn) for many years. He began transitioning to full time and eventually completed SRS and legally became a woman. She then moved away and I got my own place and continued to crossdress part time. But I felt something was missing.

I started needing relationships so I started attending a Baptist Church nearby. I became very involved in the church yet still lived like a recluse, never inviting church members over and hiding my crossdressing. (Yes, there were several close calls). Eventually, I did the unimaginable. I purged over a decade of women’s clothing, makeup, jewelry, you name it.  I decided I wanted to “get straight” and a have a “normal” life.  I started dating my current wife of 21 years. She had 3 young children who grew up to call me “Dad”.  But I wanted to something else. I did what was expected and continued to play Dad. They are all in their 30’s now and my wife and I are now empty nesters.

This previous year, after much thought and deliberation, I decided to get help.  I made a decision after getting this help and getting a provider who was very helpful. That decision was to transition into a woman. Something I should have done years earlier although I would have missed many blessings that I received during those “straight” years. I have only come out to my wife and she is somewhat accepting but reluctant. I am now into my 5th week of female hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and know for sure that I’m on the right path for my life. I’m hoping to find support here with my transition as my journey is just beginning. I am looking for understanding and non-judgmental friends and relationships.

 

Sincerely,

SusanMtF

[Susan]

I guess even thought you have been on here for awhile now. Welcome my friend.?

 

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome Susan.  You have a story that is in many ways similar to, and yet different from, many of us here.  It is unique, as are you.  It does sound like you're on the path that is right for you, and I wish you the best of luck, especially with your marriage and family.  It can be stressful, but definitely doable, as my wife and I have found out.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[tracy_j]

Hi Susan. thank you for your introduction.

 

I think one thing I get from it is the re-occuring thing that we are who we are and can not really deny it. I hope things go well and you live how you feel.

 

Tracy

[Charlize]

Welcome Susan.  Like you i did my best to live as my assigned gender.  My time here has helped me find and accept myself.  I may always be a bit of a mix but i'm happier now than i ever was living as a male. 

You are not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jani]

Welcome Susan.  I tried to live in a way that didn't make me happy.  I also don't regret the male things I've done and accomplished.  But I am happy. 

 

Jani 

[Michelle_Anne]

Welcome Susan. I’m just beginning my journey as well.  Anytime you want to chat about all this feel free to PM me

[Kylie]

Welcome Susan!

 

I have only been on my journey for 12 weeks as of today! I look forward to interacting with you and getting to know you more!

 

Kylie

[Susan R]

Thank you all for the positive responses.  Up until this last month, I had never opened up fully to anyone regarding my life story except for my therapists/providers.  I thought I was going to keep it hidden for the rest of my life.  You never know how a person or a group will respond to a bio like what I have lived and shared here.  I thank you all for making me feel like I belong and hope to share more a long the way.

 

SusanMtF.

[gennee]

Hello Susan and welcome. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

 

?

[sampa]

Hi Susan, hope you are well, we have similar upbringing in an early stage of growing up.. so I know how you are feeling. Thank you for sharing your story.  x

[Grwl]

Im so glad you are finding peace and support! Thank you for sharing your story. 

[Elizabeth61]

Thank you for sharing your story Susan.

I too am 56  and have just begun therapy. 

In  a few ways your story is similar to mine.

I wish you well.

Elizabeth 

[Suzi]

Suzan. 

It does sound like we are similar.   Im glad your wife stands with you.  I'm reading many posts on this site and coming to realize Im in the right place.  Among beautiful and misunderstood people.   I wish you all the Luck and Love Susan.  

Suzi.

[Cyndee]

I found your intro post Susan from October, and wanted to wish you the best with your transition here in 2019, and your family. Your contributions here are much appreciated by many on our forums dear,  enjoy reading your posts. May you find your self realization rewarding and enriching as changes unfold

 

Best to you

 

Cyndee -

[Susan R]

22 hours ago, Cyndee said:

I found your intro post Susan from October, and wanted to wish you the best with your transition here in 2019, and your family. Your contributions here are much appreciated by many on our forums dear,  enjoy reading your posts. May you find your self realization rewarding and enriching as changes unfold

 

Best to you

 

Cyndee -

Thank you Cyndee.  Life is better than ever now.  Here's a highlight of just a few.  My wife is more than just accepting she is actively helping me become myself.  She loves me as Susan.  My health, specifically my kidney issues, seems to be better than ever.  I now have the best gender health doctor I could ever ask for and she's so close geographically.  No long commutes now.  My doctor mentioned that she wants to change up my HRT regimen to include a higher E dose and also try a new safer anti-androgen which I'm very excited about.  My female wardrobe is getting larger every week.  I've now incorporated a daily routine in my life that makes me feel more whole than ever before.  I know I'm riding a positive wave right now and I want it to last for as long as possible.  Thanks to people here like youself and many others, it's all becoming a reality.  2019 is sure to be filled with even more positive changes in my life and in my transition.

 

Susan R?

[Cyndee]

15 minutes ago, Susan R said:

My doctor mentioned that she wants to change up my HRT regimen to include a higher E dose and also try a new safer anti-androgen which I'm very excited about. 

 

Tighten your seat belt dear, here comes the stage 2 boosters ?

 

Nothing like having the active support from your wife, very happy to read this

 

Shopping for new clothes, is one of life's true pleasures....

 

Cyndee -