Sorry to tell you this but Linwood wasn't in cream though close...he was in Clapton next band Blind Faith and he was 16 when he was in Spencer Davis Group and Traffic was my personal favorite band he put together...that was where he did John Barleycorn an old old English folk song.
The studio work I have done has been mostly stand in stuff for bands to complete a recording.
Either they have fired or lost their guitar player or if they can't make it to the session.
I have done country to heavy rock and a little 50s R&R as a fill in.
I totally get the fear. I was terrified to come out to my wife, and then terrified to come out to the rest of the world. What got me through the first terror was tons of support from online friends, and trust in my wife.
Getting past the second terror took practice. I was part-time for several months, dressing at home, for the support group meetings, and on one occasion for a trip to the big city. In the process of going back and forth between male and female presentations, I realized what it was that was driving my dysphoria: the need to hide. Once I realized that I had been hiding who I was for 60 years and that I hated hiding, my way forward became clear. I had to stop hiding myself.
So, if your dysphoria is anything like mine, you may find that going part-time for a while, on your own terms, may help you to get over the fear of coming out.
I've been working with voice analyzer, doing exercises to increase the pitch of my voice, and doing the exercises on resonance, ennounciation, words and phrases that ladies tend to use and diction and wanted to try to see if I could call Walmart or Hair Salon or airline and see if I could pass the feminine voice test with a real person.
I tried airline and was put on eternal hold. I tried Walmart and asked about lawnmowers and talked to 2 people but neither mentioned anything, so I tried the Walmart Hair Salon and asked about protocol for Covid and then appointments and she didn't use any pronouns so I said I'd have to make sure my husband could take my and she said to make sure to call as soon as I could.
All in all I don't know if they thought I was a woman or not - I tried to keep in the feminine range.
Are there any tips how to draw out of someone to use a pronoun or at least say thank you ma'am?
Also is there a help list of things ladies tend to say ...things like "her baby is so cute".
I will keep working and my band has noticed I can reach the highnotes much better then I used to - so I know it's working.
This may be something to consider. I think I've just accepted that I look like crap. It wasn't something I thought much about when I was living as a guy. Lately it does seem to matter more to me.
Thanks for the suggestion.
I understand you trepidation about starting - when it is time - you'll know - perhaps playing it safe in the short run is wise.
One thing I do know - it is easier to find a job when you have a job. Perhaps you can explore the market and see what might be possible as a transwoman. You might be surprised. Ours is not a state that tends to be accepting of LGBTQ - my county, Knox, voted 75% for that thing hiding in the White House so I dress as close to fem as I dare go (mainly androgenous).
I never liked programming and wasn't very good at it. I have learned my way around DAW's and digital recording my songs out of necessity, I do have an engineering mind in a creative arts body - probably why I'm a Gemini.
Would love to keep in touch and help each other as we face this new world together.....
Sometimes hair style is the biggest factor. While i am bald and wear a wig, finding a style that worked was hard for me. I had an image of longer hair but actually that was a younger persons style that simply didn't work. When i found a shorter but still feminine style that helped.
I have to ask.....do you go to a hair salon? Style can be every bit as important as length.
That may well not be the issue but being "age appropriate" was something my wife made clear to me early on.
It seems from reading this article that it is caused by using too much E. Smoking appears to be a factor as well. Perhaps this is one reason why i was told that i should not smoke again. In my case i certainly didn't want to get hooked again anyway!
Certainly another reason to be careful and work with an experienced doctor.
Yeah, I am in the middle of another transition at work myself now. I am having to learn Salesforce. I already learned AWS, which I enjoy for the most part, minus the pain it has been trying to setup HTTPS redirection on a personal website I built, but that may come up at a later point because I am about to give up on "securing" it anymore than I have. I am just so unsure of how to manage the work aspect. If I do start hormones, and I do develop breasts, there isn't much choice but to come out? What does that bring regarding my work team. If that doesn't work out, then I will be forced to start going out as Amber and applying for jobs as a Trans woman in a male dominated field. I just feel like that is an insurmountable task. Again, I know some of this is just my mind racing, some of it is unfounded, but I do know there is a glimmer of truth there.
I enjoy developing software. I developed a web application on the side to solve a problem, and pay for it to be hosted on AWS. I don't have an issue with that and actually quite frankly am proud of that. Some of that time I was dressed as Amber, the computer didn't care, nor does AWS care that a non-binary(or trans woman) wrote the code and uploaded it to the platform.
@Shay It is also nice to meet another Ohioan. Sorry to hear about some of your issues with work. I have been lucky thus far with my current employer.
I've been thinking about this for awhile. I'm not sure if this is the right place to mention it, but…
This is a hard thing sometimes. I came out around 2 years ago, and have been on HRT since then. But physical changes have been slow - probably due to my age (70). They are happening but not really noticeable. I've been presenting as female in public for probably a year and a half. But I still am called sir practically everywhere. I wear dresses and skirts almost exclusively - I just prefer them. My hair is below shoulder length, and I carry a purse. The few times when I am called "sweetie" or "honey" (only by women - this is the south after all) make my day.
I've come to expect to be misgendered. To be honest, I doubt that I'll ever "pass".
But lately I've been wondering. My intentions are obvious. So why does this happen? It's hard not to think it is a deliberate slight.
But I don't want to take it personal.
So I ignore it. But it does hurt. I knew this wouldn't be easy when I started.
But I'm not turning back.
How can I look at this better?
I think what keeps me from doing it is knowing there isn't any going back once I do it. Once I come out, there is no more secret. I have to be completely be vulnerable, which makes me feel really uncomfortable. I think it is also that fear of rejection. I know it isn't my place to control other people's reactions or opinions, just losing the support of a family member scares me, or even worse, me being outed not on my terms, but someone else's terms because of a blow out with them.
I keep thinking of the parable of Pandora's box, once you open it, you can't put it back away.