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Too old to transition?

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Good morning. My name is Stephani and just recently joined TransPulse Forums. I introduced myself in the newcomers section so I won't repeat myself, but I do have a very serious question to put out there. I'm sure it's been answered before: When is it (realistically ) too late to transition?


I have struggled with gender dysphoria since the age of 4. Over the years I have endured ridicule, scorn, and rejection. I have been beaten an abused several times earlier in life when I asserted my feminine persona. Eventually I would emotionally suppress my intense desire to transition. Finally, in my early 50's, I resolved to get gender counseling and therapy to address my transsexuality. At long last I was set to begin HRT, but on the very day I was to start, a phone call from my primary care physician indicated that I had cancer. 9 years later I am cancer-free after several bouts. But I am almost 60 (May 4, 1959) and in the recent years my body image has gone from bad to worse. My wife and son were incredible supports during my illness and I don't want to disrupt their lives any more than I have I'm not sure what to do. Do I just resign myself to unfortunate fate, or do I move forward?


Thanks for reading, and thanks for responding if you care to do so, ❤️

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Hello Stephani,

You're never too old. The only time you'll be too old is when you're on a marble slab wearing a toe tag. :D Whether you move forward or not is up to you. Have you counseled with a gender therapist?  If not, you should consider doing so. He or she could help you make that decision.



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I was sixty one when I began my transition and a week after my 65th belly-button Birthday had my GCS.  I am approaching 71 and 6 years post-op.  Age should not be a block to trip over, and you do not have to go as far as I have to be REAL.  As to your family, they wanted to keep you alive to be happy before, and other than what you wear or  how you do your hair, and possibly who you hang out with most often, you are still the same person, just happier and better able to enjoy the life you have back.  If your family supported you before, the chance is that they will still do it, even if it takes a bit to get used to it.  I do agree with MaryEllen that getting to a therapist that knows about Gender Dysphoria is your immediate course of action. 


PS:  I keep getting taken for years and years younger than I really am, so that is a benefit.

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Susan R

Hi Stephani, I hope I'm not too old as there isn't anything stopping me at this point.  I'm 56 so I had the same question about age as you, a year ago.  I was told in therapy that the journey is as important and the result.  That has been so true for me.  I already feel much better about myself and my future than I did just a year ago.


Susan R🌷

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Carolyn Marie

Stephani, let me first congratulate you on being cancer-free.  That is wonderful to hear.  I agree with everyone else that age should not keep you from being happy, and if transitioning will make you happy, then you should do it.  I started my journey at 55 years young, and was legally female at 57.  I've been happy ever since.


You only live once, my dear.  Do what you need to do.


Carolyn Marie

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Ladies, I really appreciate your feedback and am really inspired by your courage to reclaim your destiny. I will weigh your words very seriously and resolve to find my ultimate freedom. I mean it when I say I love you. 💕 

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Hi, Stephani, I understand with what you had gone through and it is wonderful that you have an understanding and supportive family. I had not had the support from my family, but when I discussed my transition and pending HRT, I brought my wife to the Endo and therapist. That was when I was 67. For the first year I was on low dose of HRT, to ease my body into what was to come, since I had cardiac and diabetic issues, but now at age 69, my dosages have been increased, and the physical changes have become more apparent, I have lost a good amount of weight and muscle, so my "figure" is more feminine, and I feel more secure about myself than I have in the last 55 years. My wife and family are still very supportive. If I could not be placed on HRT, I would resolve my self to cross dress, but I am glad I have an understanding and resourceful Endo. 

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Hi Stephani, I was 69 when I began to transition. I am now 71 (as of yesterday!) and am just now looking into the medical steps to bring my body into the way it should have been all along. I have been on hrt for 18 months, but now I want more. 

On 11/20/2018 at 12:22 PM, MaryEllen said:

The only time you'll be too old is when you're on a marble slab wearing a toe tag. :D


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Stephani (that's my birth name - and still legal name, though I'm starting to go by Scott), I too waited until I thought I was too old.  I didn't even realize that I was a transman until I was in my late 50s and, at 60, am JUST starting the process.  I read a lot online and got excited and determined when I read that the oldest to surgically transition was 86 (and still kicking).


I have my first appointment with my gender therapist next week and am so excited!  I don't know if he can prescribe T or if I have to go to an endocrinologist, but we'll see.


Congrats on being cancer free!  Now start building the life that YOU want and don't let other people decide who and what you are.  That's how I ended up waiting so long. 

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