Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Ways to Subtly Dress Masculine?


Anders

Recommended Posts

Hello... does anyone have any advice about ways that one can subtly dress more masculine? I'm not ready to fully come out, but would feel better if I could dress and feel more masculine. I already dress in a fairly masculine way (tshirts, flannels, hoodies, occasionally a snapback, and almost never any makeup). However, if there's a drastic change in my appearance people will notice and start to ask questions and I want to avoid that. That's why I'm hoping to find subtle ways to help myself feel more masculine. Thanks for any help!

Link to comment
  • Admin

Dressing, not really much beyond what you have described.  You don't mention hair style, but I do have Andro friends with so styles that can be taken either way, and while people see the new do, gender issues do not come to the front.  Even what you hope will be "subtle" if you do too much too fast will be worse than coming out and telling the truth.  Maybe a men's style watch or put a messy knot tie on could help a bit.  What you need though is to firmly tell yourself, maybe even make a ritual of it, that this is to make me feel more masculine. 

Link to comment
3 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Dressing, not really much beyond what you have described.  You don't mention hair style, but I do have Andro friends with so styles that can be taken either way, and while people see the new do, gender issues do not come to the front.  Even what you hope will be "subtle" if you do too much too fast will be worse than coming out and telling the truth.  Maybe a men's style watch or put a messy knot tie on could help a bit.  What you need though is to firmly tell yourself, maybe even make a ritual of it, that this is to make me feel more masculine. 

That is super helpful! As far as hairstyle, though, I do have long hair, but am thinking of getting a shorter haircut sometime in the future. But yes, too much too fast is what I'm afraid of. I had not thought of having that mindset, though, and I believe that thinking those things really will help me. Thank you for the advice!

Link to comment

I was going to suggest wearing a watch too. ;D

but you could also look at changing your shoes or jewelry (if you like jewelry) to be more typically "masculine". Eg. a wide/thick plain-ish ring with a pattern or dog tags are generally considered more masculine types of jewelry. 

Link to comment
7 hours ago, DrumbeatAlex said:

I was going to suggest wearing a watch too. ;D

but you could also look at changing your shoes or jewelry (if you like jewelry) to be more typically "masculine". Eg. a wide/thick plain-ish ring with a pattern or dog tags are generally considered more masculine types of jewelry. 

 

6 hours ago, DrumbeatAlex said:

you could also try layering your tops (eg. a tshirt under an open button down). 

These are all very helpful. Thank you so much!

Link to comment

Hey, I have a few ideas.

 

Someone once mentioned to me that they use makeup to look more masculine. Fill in their brows, etc. There are probably tutorials on YouTube that can help with that.

 

Also, wearing masc accessories like belts are good. I'd also look into buying men's pants as they don't accentuate curves as much. Men's underwear can help you feel more masc as well, or even boyshorts. I second layering your tops too :)

Link to comment
13 minutes ago, Bad said:

Hey, I have a few ideas.

 

Someone once mentioned to me that they use makeup to look more masculine. Fill in their brows, etc. There are probably tutorials on YouTube that can help with that.

 

Also, wearing masc accessories like belts are good. I'd also look into buying men's pants as they don't accentuate curves as much. Men's underwear can help you feel more masc as well, or even boyshorts. I second layering your tops too :)

Oh yeah! I've seen something like that about makeup. I had completely forgotten. Thank you! And yes. The underwear is a great idea! Sadly I don't think I can get men's jeans without making my family more suspicious. But maybe someday! Thank you for sharing your ideas!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Men and women have different body language and posture. In fact it can be a stronger gender determinant than any other aspect of appearance. You can begin to study and work on that. People may sense a change but won't really be able to pinpoint it.

One study says that we actually store as much as 10,000 bits of information from body language etc before we even actually speak to someone for the first time . Always remember that men take space while women minimize theirs. men sit with legs wider even when not manspreading and tend to put their ankle on their knee where a woman crosses her legs or ankles, etc. They carry their hands flatter where women tend to

 fold theirs in. They almost always walk shoulders back with longer strides than women.

Changing those things isn't easy because they are habits ingrained from the cradle so you'll have a head start if you master them now.

Those differences are why even flat chested gravel voiced women still get gendered as women while men with moobs and high pitched voice still get gendered as men even when the women have short hair etc and the men long. People would say they just know if asked but truth is it's in the way they move through the world.

Johnny

 

Link to comment
On 11/25/2018 at 1:52 PM, JJ said:

Men and women have different body language and posture. In fact it can be a stronger gender determinant than any other aspect of appearance. You can begin to study and work on that. People may sense a change but won't really be able to pinpoint it.

One study says that we actually store as much as 10,000 bits of information from body language etc before we even actually speak to someone for the first time . Always remember that men take space while women minimize theirs. men sit with legs wider even when not manspreading and tend to put their ankle on their knee where a woman crosses her legs or ankles, etc. They carry their hands flatter where women tend to

 fold theirs in. They almost always walk shoulders back with longer strides than women.

Changing those things isn't easy because they are habits ingrained from the cradle so you'll have a head start if you master them now.

Those differences are why even flat chested gravel voiced women still get gendered as women while men with moobs and high pitched voice still get gendered as men even when the women have short hair etc and the men long. People would say they just know if asked but truth is it's in the way they move through the world.

Johnny

 

Oh wow. That totally makes sense! Thank you for sharing!

Link to comment

As others have said, most of what you have described wearing is already the best subtle ways to dress more masculine. I also still have long hair, but I have a nape undercut, which is shaved very short and shaped in the same way as my cis male partner, so that I can wear my hair up under a beanie or baseball cap and just have the undercut showing. With t-shirts, undershirts etc. my advice is to not use a V-cut at the moment. I find that even with a men's v-cut t-shirt or long sleeve, it can accentuate the chest too much because it draws the eye downwards.

 

The suggestion to start working on mannerisms, walking, vocal register is absolutely correct. Although I wouldn't say that it has helped me pass as a man - I'm v short and look very dainty/ feminine (as I am not currently transitioning), it has certainly made a few people do double takes when they go from seeing me from behind to seeing me face to face. However, I know  that I am lucky in that I have a cis male partner to help my work on these things, and a vocal coach helping me lower my speaking pitch, even though for an afab I speak at a relatively low pitch. There is an app out there (EVA M - I think) which I understand can help train the FtM voice to speak in a lower pitch.

 

 

Link to comment
On 11/28/2018 at 8:06 PM, DisenchantedHalo said:

As others have said, most of what you have described wearing is already the best subtle ways to dress more masculine. I also still have long hair, but I have a nape undercut, which is shaved very short and shaped in the same way as my cis male partner, so that I can wear my hair up under a beanie or baseball cap and just have the undercut showing. With t-shirts, undershirts etc. my advice is to not use a V-cut at the moment. I find that even with a men's v-cut t-shirt or long sleeve, it can accentuate the chest too much because it draws the eye downwards.

 

The suggestion to start working on mannerisms, walking, vocal register is absolutely correct. Although I wouldn't say that it has helped me pass as a man - I'm v short and look very dainty/ feminine (as I am not currently transitioning), it has certainly made a few people do double takes when they go from seeing me from behind to seeing me face to face. However, I know  that I am lucky in that I have a cis male partner to help my work on these things, and a vocal coach helping me lower my speaking pitch, even though for an afab I speak at a relatively low pitch. There is an app out there (EVA M - I think) which I understand can help train the FtM voice to speak in a lower pitch.

 

 

Thank you! All these are very helpful! I'm actually planning on getting a much more masculine haircut in the next couple weeks. The voice training is a really good idea! I'll look into it! And yeah. V-neck shirts have never been my thing. So i have an abundance of crew-neck tshirts! 

Link to comment

I had no idea there were apps or even vocal coaches who knew how to train an afab person to speak at a lower pitch and now I am a little salty...

To expand on what Johnny said--I had a good friend in middle/high school who was kind of butch, and she constantly got mistaken for a boy, especially at work since everyone wore the same uniform. Every time she ranted about it, she'd go, "Don't they see THESE???" while gesturing toward her massive breasts.

Link to comment

I was avoiding replying to this, as I wasn't sure I was qualified, but after thinking about it I have been trying to "blend" as male for most of my life, so maybe I can contribute after all.  

On 11/25/2018 at 7:52 PM, JJ said:

men sit with legs wider even when not manspreading and tend to put their ankle on their knee where a woman crosses her legs or ankles, etc. They carry their hands flatter where women tend to

 fold theirs in.

This is excellent and very true - even leaning forwards into someone else's space when they are talking your elbows would be down on your knees.  I was talking with my sister about the fact that you have to have an opinion on just about everything, you don't always need to volunteer it all, just have it just in case - I spent hrs as a teen looking up different types of porn just so I would know & seem knowledgeable - same goes for football and/or soccer, top line cars, politics, music, games, Marvel v DC and anything else that crops up in conversation - you don't have to have it memorised, just have an opinion, if you can't think of one just call it all childish BS and you're covered. (Top Gear was the best for this - in fact watch this and aim for the swagger of Clarkson who always thought he was top dog with the subtlety and humour of Hammond. In truth May was actually the alpha as he had the age and the actual mechanical engineering knowledge to silence the other two and was confident in himself enough to let them posture.) Goes without saying not to change who you are fundamentally though - I am talking group dynamics - a group of lads will insult each other all day long but not take it from a stranger and then they will usually only allow a sensitive side to show through one on one. (yeah - I struggled with the posturing a lot)

 

Fashion-wise it depends on your age, Jeans, T-shirts and either loose shirts or hoodies are a staple, trainers and work boots come as standard. Watches, glasses, jewellery men's tend to be angular, metallic and chunky (which I've never suited).

 

But fashion has become far more androgynous these days thanks to folk like Bieber and groups like BTS ( <---- see a perfect example of a vague unproveable but believable bloke type opinion lol).

Link to comment
On 11/29/2018 at 9:12 PM, GothicLucas said:

I had no idea there were apps or even vocal coaches who knew how to train an afab person to speak at a lower pitch and now I am a little salty...

To expand on what Johnny said--I had a good friend in middle/high school who was kind of butch, and she constantly got mistaken for a boy, especially at work since everyone wore the same uniform. Every time she ranted about it, she'd go, "Don't they see THESE???" while gesturing toward her massive breasts.

To be fair, I am actually working on singing with my vocal coach (rock with grit, fry, distortion & screaming), but as pretty much everything we are working on is mostly lower pitch with a few high notes, we spend quite a bit of time working on getting my voice stronger in those ranges which carries over into my speaking voice (except when I get over excited?, then the pitch creeps higher). So I guess someone, especially a speech level singing coach could totally do it! The EVA app was designed by a singing vocal coach, as I understand it.

 

There are singing apps which help you with pitch (can't remember what offhand). I guess that if you set the range low then you could possibly also use them to train reaching a more male sounding pitch? Some are free, so could be worth a shot. 

Link to comment
On 12/4/2018 at 11:24 AM, SeekingSadie said:

I was avoiding replying to this, as I wasn't sure I was qualified, but after thinking about it I have been trying to "blend" as male for most of my life, so maybe I can contribute after all.  

This is excellent and very true - even leaning forwards into someone else's space when they are talking your elbows would be down on your knees.  I was talking with my sister about the fact that you have to have an opinion on just about everything, you don't always need to volunteer it all, just have it just in case - I spent hrs as a teen looking up different types of porn just so I would know & seem knowledgeable - same goes for football and/or soccer, top line cars, politics, music, games, Marvel v DC and anything else that crops up in conversation - you don't have to have it memorised, just have an opinion, if you can't think of one just call it all childish BS and you're covered. (Top Gear was the best for this - in fact watch this and aim for the swagger of Clarkson who always thought he was top dog with the subtlety and humour of Hammond. In truth May was actually the alpha as he had the age and the actual mechanical engineering knowledge to silence the other two and was confident in himself enough to let them posture.) Goes without saying not to change who you are fundamentally though - I am talking group dynamics - a group of lads will insult each other all day long but not take it from a stranger and then they will usually only allow a sensitive side to show through one on one. (yeah - I struggled with the posturing a lot)

 

Fashion-wise it depends on your age, Jeans, T-shirts and either loose shirts or hoodies are a staple, trainers and work boots come as standard. Watches, glasses, jewellery men's tend to be angular, metallic and chunky (which I've never suited).

 

But fashion has become far more androgynous these days thanks to folk like Bieber and groups like BTS ( <---- see a perfect example of a vague unproveable but believable bloke type opinion lol).

This is all very helpful information! Thank you so much for sharing!! Oddly enough, I already do most of these things. I've always said I sit like a man, i stand like a man, etc. Even the leaning forward with elbows on knees. I've done this ever since I can remember. Which kinda says to me "who have I subconsciously been imitating and why?" And I often do have an opinion on things. Though I've learned that females don't often share their opinions to males so I've learned to just keep quiet about my opinions and thoughts. I joke with my friends in exactly that way... insults. That is practically the only way we communicate. As far as insults from strangers... those don't really happen so idk about that. But I do connect with people in one-on-one settings (and almost exclusively in those settings). Thanks again for the advice! It really helps to be made aware of these things so I can make a more conscious effort!

 

On 12/6/2018 at 12:49 PM, DisenchantedHalo said:

To be fair, I am actually working on singing with my vocal coach (rock with grit, fry, distortion & screaming), but as pretty much everything we are working on is mostly lower pitch with a few high notes, we spend quite a bit of time working on getting my voice stronger in those ranges which carries over into my speaking voice (except when I get over excited?, then the pitch creeps higher). So I guess someone, especially a speech level singing coach could totally do it! The EVA app was designed by a singing vocal coach, as I understand it.

 

There are singing apps which help you with pitch (can't remember what offhand). I guess that if you set the range low then you could possibly also use them to train reaching a more male sounding pitch? Some are free, so could be worth a shot. 

That's really neat that your vocal coach is helping you do that! I wish you luck in strengthening your voice!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/6/2018 at 12:49 PM, DisenchantedHalo said:

To be fair, I am actually working on singing with my vocal coach (rock with grit, fry, distortion & screaming), but as pretty much everything we are working on is mostly lower pitch with a few high notes, we spend quite a bit of time working on getting my voice stronger in those ranges which carries over into my speaking voice (except when I get over excited?, then the pitch creeps higher). So I guess someone, especially a speech level singing coach could totally do it! The EVA app was designed by a singing vocal coach, as I understand it.

 

There are singing apps which help you with pitch (can't remember what offhand). I guess that if you set the range low then you could possibly also use them to train reaching a more male sounding pitch? Some are free, so could be worth a shot. 

Haha, it's just that I had been working on creating some kind of vocal regimen for transmasc people in the hopes of filling a gap. I was having no success on my own, anyway, so I'm glad it's been done.

That reminds me of these speech lessons I had been interested in buying, though. I learned about them from the documentary, "Do I Sound Gay?" in which a man tries to make his voice sound less feminine through various vocal exercises from different speech coaches. In the end he still speaks in the same manner and his voice is the same pitch, but his friends say that his voice sounds more assertive and resonant. If I could get at least that much going for me, I'd be swell.

Sorry for the late reply, haven't been here in awhile...

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 133 Guests (See full list)

    • EasyE
    • awkward-yet-sweet
    • Betty K
    • Breanne_O
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,945
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      I grew up with it, my mother's side were Germans.  I still like cabbage.  I make a sweet/sour dish with vinegar and brown sugar, add some bacon if you have it.  And in warmer weather, slaw.  I like that better if it's a few days old, and has worked off a little.
    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...