Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Not Looking Forward to Christmas


Raven1981

Recommended Posts

Just wanted to share that I am NOT looking forward to Christmas.  This is my first Christmas being out and living as my authentic self and yet I am not going to have anyone to spend it with.  I have a good hunch that since my grandparents and my dad have just outright stopped communicating with me and just does not even recognized me anymore, I am most likely not going to get anything or a card or an invite from them.  Then I really do not have any friends in the U.S. PHX area to spend the time with.  So at this point, I have no plans and I am dreading the day to come.  All I would like to do is get past this Christmas holiday as quickly as possible and get it behind me.  But well, I am just not looking forward to the day.  Guess it will be my first ever holiday spending it alone and forgotten.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Link to comment

My suggestion is check your local support groups. I remember back in Virginia when I first started there was a Christmas party.

 

Also make local friends at the support group and you can have people to spend your time with.

 

Also remember Christmas is just another day.

Link to comment

Hi Amy,  I am not either for different reasons. One I have been living off of savings for the past year after being laid off for budget reasons and am starting my own business. Another is that my brothers put myself and my dad in an awkward spot. Saying basically that they tolerate my presence, so I can come but if I bring my girlfriend they won't. or don't want want her there period. I basically said then that I was not coming, because I was not leaving her alone on Christmas then. Right now, I don't even want to contact those two at all anymore.

 

Thankfully I have my girlfriend and other friends to hang out with. I think that was one of the things that helped get me through this.  I went to a couple of trans support groups in my area and made some friends that way, I also made some friends at one of the local LGBT bars.

Link to comment

Hi Amy, that just makes me both sad and angry regarding your dad and your grandparents.  Our children are our children and we love them no matter what.  I just DON'T understand when parents/siblings/grandparents act that way.  

 

I wish I had a good idea/suggestion for you to make it all better.  Perhaps volunteering at a shelter or something similar my bring some good feelings, I don't know. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

To me Christmas is just another day of the week. I used to like X-mas when I was younger. Watching the boys open gifts. Now I can care less. I try for sake of my wife who always gets in the spirit.

May or my not go to the store x-mas party on Sat. Unlike other years. we don't have someone from another store to cover. so guess who gets to arrive 2 hrs late. Me. So, I may not even go for spite. Not that I will really be missed.

Maybe the military turn X-mas around for me. Making it just another day.

 

Kymmie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Amy,

I'm sorry to hear that your family has not been so accepting of you. But you never know, you may be surprised.

 

Rithia Allen's idea of checking local support groups is a good one. Otherwise, even doing something special for yourself might help a bit. Cooking an extra good supper or something might be nice. It could take a little bit of the edge off anyway, giving yourself something nice to look forward to. Or maybe order a big pizza on xmas eve with all your favorite toppings, big enough to have left over for xmas day. Make xmas a big movie day (doesn't have to be holiday related movies). One xmas I watched "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Another I watched Harry Potter all day. Just some thoughts.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Thank You all for all the support and ideas.  My mom is the only family that is coming around and she mentioned that she will be out of town on Christmas.  My dad and my grandparents from my dad side and then my aunt and uncle from my mom side who all live in California, just dont speak to me or anything.  My sister does not even speak to me either.

 

I have tried to be the bigger person and be friendly and have mailed out Christmas cards to everyone just to be friendly and to try to get anyone to speak to me.

 

I am thinking on asking my supervisor if I can work a double.  I have to work Christmas Eve overnight into Christmas morning at work and thinking why not since I dont have plans to continue to work Christmas morning and I have to work the overnight shift which means Christmas night  into the 26th.  So why dont I just stay at work and work the whole time.  It's not like it's going to be busy at work.  It will be dead at work.

 

Thank you all

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Link to comment

Hi Amy,  I'm new here and haven't yet completed writing my introduction.  However, I hope you don't mind me commenting.  Please remember that being a woman is more than looks, it is also attitude.  What type of woman do you want to be?  Vulnerable and begging for scraps of affection?  Or powerful, taking charge of your life and the people in it?  This is your choice to make, not your relatives.  We can not control how people respond to our gestures of kindness, however, you know in your heart that you have done the right thing for you. 


This Christmas, how about celebrating it as the beautiful, proud, strong, confident, woman that you are.  Confidence is what changes your life, not your looks. Some examples:  On Christmas day, share a beautiful, uplifting story on this site for those that are struggling.  Make arrangements to bring small gifts and chat with lonely grandparents in nursing homes.  Or call your local senior center and offer to visit and share a home cooked meal with a lonely senior.  ( I have found that lonely, elderly people are very accepting.  All they really want is someone to listen to their lovely stories, and to know that they have not been forgotten. We seem to know what it is like not to feel wanted more than most folks do so it is a wonderful gift to share).   Also, don't forget to decorate your windows and home with lights to reflect the beautiful woman that you have become. The opportunity to share your personal beauty and gifts with others are endless.  

 

Wishing you the best, Leo
 

 

 

Link to comment

When I was younger I would go to six flags on my birthday alone because my family didn’t care and I wasn’t even out then. I’d have a great day every year too. Maybe something like that would be good for you? Less choices as to what’s open I’m sure but there must be something fun that you like to do? 

Point is find something fun that you love and do that instead. Don’t sit around upset to be alone. Make your own fun! 

Sorry that you have to deal with a crappy family. I know the feeling. ❤️❤️

Link to comment

Lots of good suggestions, if you were closer you could come over. Might be a long drive. 

You maybe alone but you are not forgotten. 

Merry christmas ? 

Link to comment

Hello All:

 

So I have figured in preparation for Christmas for my first time alone on the holiday, I just got done buying some Christmas presents for myself that I am going to wrap and place under the tree and will put a TO: me and FROM: me on the Christmas presents.  This way, I still have something to open.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Link to comment
Just now, Amy LeBlanc said:

Hello All:

 

So I have figured in preparation for Christmas for my first time alone on the holiday, I just got done buying some Christmas presents for myself that I am going to wrap and place under the tree and will put a TO: me and FROM: me on the Christmas presents.  This way, I still have something to open.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Hi Amy, I can relate to how you feel completely, I just can’t cope with it this year. I want nothing to do with Christmas, want to shut myself away till it’s all over, want to see or speak to no one.

 

Martyn x

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 124 Guests (See full list)

    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,006
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Caohmán
    Newest Member
    Caohmán
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alik222
      Alik222
      (24 years old)
    2. AvaWill
      AvaWill
      (37 years old)
    3. Drewies
      Drewies
      (50 years old)
    4. JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      (28 years old)
    5. jgram22
      jgram22
      (37 years old)
  • Posts

    • VickySGV
      @Breanne_O You seem to be on your way there girl-- full speed ahead it was a real adventure for me 11 years ago.  
    • Breanne_O
      I picked a cancellation spot with Dr Lorimer yesterday and had my consultation a month early.  I had been worried about how it would go, but the process of exchanging information was nothing to worry about and I felt quite at ease throughout.  That’s not to say some parts weren’t challenging to articulate clearly, but Dr Lorimer’s manner helped enormously.   The GI/GD diagnosis was such a welcome conclusion to it all, and such an important milestone in my journey.   Now for the Endo consult waiting…
    • VickySGV
      This one is NOT over, and this is not a final final ruling on the matter since this was a procedural and not substantive ruling based on scientific evidence.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-allows-enforcement-idaho-ban-gender-affirming-care-trans-rcna141209     6-3 decision, of course.  The conservative Justices really don't give a damn who gets hurt, as long as it's "just" trans kids.  This is what we can expect, going forward.    Carolyn Marie
    • MaeBe
      I am on a three month review cycle for dosage. Do you have a plan with your doctor? I didn't discuss overall strategy when I got my prescription, it was a very long appointment. I was able to ask via web message to get a better idea; we'll check blood every 3 months and titrate accordingly. I don't know if we'll change labs to 6mo after a year or not, but that's where I'm at now. I, too, was like "is this enough?" at the start. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but I've seen positive results during the months at a lower dose and continue to notice changes. For instance, my skin sensitivity is much higher. I always wondered why my wife was so ticklish, but I'm starting to understand why. I'll bet I am 20-40% more sensitive to touch than I was before; gently tickling my arm (I would wake up doing this sometimes, up and down my arms) now makes my fingers tingle...in a good way. :)
    • VickySGV
      @mattie22 Welcome to the Forums Mattie.  Our basic view here is that if you have any questions about your gender then you are not Cis Gender and belong here for that reason alone, because if you are not Cis, then you are someplace in the Trans and/or Non Binary part of the world, and on this site, that is simply who is here, Trans and NB folks!  Be comfortable and do not be afraid to ask questions here, or even give answers to others from your own experience.
    • Mx.Drago
      Making a garden greener than before.
    • mattie22
      I am new to this site and kinda scared  to even come to a site like this. 1 i donot know really if I am even trans or not  I know I amqusting my gender fore sure.  I  grew up thinking m one thing and if you  would have explained the baics of gender  when I was in my teens I would have probly said I was a cis male and ment it.  But I geuse thats  becuse  well I am  ok  with seeing myself as one even  thogh  I  I probly fitin the gendr nonconforing . but I also a part of me likes to be seen and treated Like a fmale somtimes.  When I was ynger I crosdress in secret and I started up again.  I also tuck .  tHE THING IS i CROSS DRESS FOR MANY RRSIONS   AT FIRST OUT OF CURISTY AND THEN JUST BECUSE i LIKE TO WEE TH CLOSES.  aLSO SOMTIMES  ITS PARTLY SEXAL AS WELL SOMTIMES BEUSE IT HELS ME TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE FEMALE AND i LIKE IT.  somtimes I wish I were female as well that comes and goes  uslly  it does not last long.   This has happened more recently.  But it s not like i knew as much about gender untell the last cople of yerses .also turns out I am bisexal it took me while did not know this I thogh i was strait for most of my life. I. ok  I better ened this post. for now.  
    • EasyE
      Thanks for the great advice and support @Astrid. I appreciate it!
    • Astrid
      When you are sure you want to continue your HRT journey and the best dosage for you, consider asking your doctor for a three month prescription cycle (90 days rather than 30). This can result for some in considerable savings. It definitely did for me...   I am at the 4 year 5 month mark for my estrogen patches and am so glad I made the decision to go forward.    Best wishes!   Astrid 
    • Ivy
      I watched someone bury one out on Topsail Island one time.  Made me glad I was on foot.  They did get out before the tide got it though.
    • MaeBe
      If you insist. ;)   Bolder day by day!
    • Willow
      @KymmieL you know that picture was from right down the road from here.  A guy lent his New Red Jeep to his brother.  Brother decided it would be fun to drive on the beach, got stuck tried to self extract, got stuck worse.  Tide came in, a storm tide.  That was the end of the brothers jeep!   now, was that the same Jeep or just a look alike? 🤔. The Red Jeep of Myrtle Beach is infamous.   what about putting aluminum diamond plate on both sides so they match using high strength automotive sealant adhesive?edges could be worked so they aren’t blunt which would be bad.  Paying for body work here is VERY expensive!  And my body work is limited to Fiberglas sailboats.   Willow
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Work went good.Have a new co worker that will not last long.I was working and he was on his phone,chewed him out for it.Did tell my boss this and he had a word with him on it.Said it was costing my boss money and he better be working.My other coworkers and I bet he will be gone tommorrow.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Bob met her in the parking  lot.  "I tried to call, but no answer." "My phone is missing. I thought it was in my purse but it wasn't. I emptied my purse and my desk but no phone. I checked around.  I don't know where it is." "Well, I found you." "You did, and I am glad." "You are?  I was afraid you were off on a date with one of a dozen of your boyfriends." "Bob, let me be perfectly clear.  There is no one else.  There never has been anyone else. There never will be anyone else. " "Sounds serious." "Dead serious.  Now stop worrying. Don't even tease me about it." "Did I tell you that the only girls I dated reminded me of you, and they both broke it off. They said the same thing: either marry you or get over you." "I think you said that.  I am not ready for that yet." "Neither am I." "I need to change before we go." He had the Wrangler.  It would have been rude to make him wait outside, so he sat in her main room while she went down the hall. He heard her lock the door, no surprise.  Absolutely clean. The laptop on the corner desk had its cover closed, and there was a thick Excel workbook beside it.  Printer.  Wall calendar with cats.  A sunflower wall decoration.  Love seat. Coffee table that was clear.  A Bible underneath it and some books from high school days: John Powell's Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am topped one neat pile, and Success with Seasons: How To Look Your Best headed another, with geometric perfection. He could see into the kitchen.  There were a few clean dishes in the dish drainer but the sink was clean. Around the corner, behind the entrance door, was the laundry room and he could see the dress she wore last night hanging there. She had washed it after wearing it once? Wow.   Now she was out: figure-hugging jeans, knee-high boots, a pretty pink top, her hair pulled back with a band. She smiled at him, grabbed a cross-body bag and proclaimed herself ready. "I didn't leave my phone here, either. Let me try something." She went to the computer and logged in, entered a website, entered a number.  "This should GPS my phone but it is dead. Very strange. Like someone stole it." "Do you want to report it missing?" "No. I have a feeling it will turn up tomorrow  Probably in my desk, lower drawer, at the back, the batteries out. I have a co-worker who would think it is funny." "I'm not amused." "Likewise.  Oh. Church. Bible.  She grabbed a worn ESV from a shelf and flashed a smile at Bob that lit up his world from head to toe and said, "Ready." It was a fast food restaurant with a limited menu.  She had ordered quickly last night.  But now she stood and stared at the menu.  Several times she went up to the counter and asked questions, and finally was handed their Nutritional Fact Sheet. It was twenty minutes from the time they entered to when she ordered a side salad, a small cheeseburger (no pickle, no mustard, no ketchup, but BBQ sauce and no onion rings) and iced tea.  He paid for both meals. "Let's say grace." "Okay, now that we are going to be church people, we should."  He did, and they ate. "You are beautiful." "Focus, Bob, focus." He smiled.  "How was your day?" "I love the roses, but don't do it again, please.  The women in my office are terrible." "Okay. Saves me some money." "That's what I love about you." They laughed.  They pulled into the parking lot of Community Church.  It was a friendly crowd dressed as they were and they fit right in. They buried themselves in the middle of a pew towards the back.  The Worship Team cranked up and they could feel the vibrations throughout their bodies.  They went through a number of high-paced songs.  "Uh-oh," Taylor whispered, and gestured.  The offering was being taken by the hostess who got fired the previous night. "Should we leave now?" "I should talk you into Thursday evenings.  We are talking about not backing down.  Not hiding." The ex-hostess prayed over the offering , eyes closed, and opened them.  Somehow she was looking right at Taylor. She stared for a moment, and then said "Brother Mike, time for the Word."   As he came on stage she whispered something to him.  He turned, scanned the crowd until he found Taylor, and stared at her for ten seconds or so. "You sure you don't want to leave?" "I want to crawl under my seat.  But I would not respect myself in the morning." Brother Mike began with a long prayer about sin in the camp.  Society was degenerating. Men were thinking they were women and women men. He had been meaning to address this issue since he had heard about sin coming even to their own city, and now was the Kairos, for the devil was among them tonight. "Now would be a good time to go." "Ssssh." "In the beginning God made them male and female. Amen?" He got a big amen.  Bob and Taylor amen-ed along with the rest of them.  Brother Mike was surprised.  He continued. This was off the cuff.  He went down the same list that Aggie liked to send her, which amused Taylor.  Taylor amen-ed all of them.  "Oooh, now, tonight there will be DELIVERANCE in the house of the Lord!" AMEN "Freedom from bondage in the Name of the LORD!" "Amen!" "You once were slaves, but Christ has set you free!" This continued for some twenty minutes.  Brother Mike wiped the sweat off his forehead with a towel someone gave him. "Any SINNERS tonight who need DELIVERANCE? Come on down!" Bob and Taylor watched as a few people made their way to the front.  Brother Mike looked directly at Bob and Taylor. "There are more tonight for the  harvest of the LORD!" He looked at them again.  People in this section!" That was the front right.  And here!" That was the section they were in.  About twenty people around them responded and went up front. "We have a mighty harvest here tonight! Altar workers, come Fooorwaaard and minister to God's children."  Several older people, clutching Bibles and wearing vests that said ALTAR WORKER on the back, came forward. "Pray for mercy! Oh, sinners do you feel the mercy of God in the House of the Lord tonight!" He looked at Bob and Taylor, now sitting in a large area of otherwise empty seats.  Ahead of them and behind them and on the other side of the main aisle there were a lot more people.  "There are more sinners here tonight. I can feel it. Isn't the grace of God tugging on your heart?" "I like the grace of God tugging on my heart part, but no way am I going down there." "Agreed." After a while no one else came forward.  Brother Mike took one more last look at them and signaled for the Worship Team to come up and do a closing number. "Ready to leave?" "No, I'm not." "What are you waiting for, Taylor?" "I'm not sure.  We might have an interesting conversation." "Here?" "Yes." "I want to hear your definition of an interesting conversation sometime." They sat and watched as those up front diminished in number.  Other people slipped out.  Brother Mike looked at them several times, but he was mainly praying for people. The last worship number ended.  People were still up front praying. "Well that was fun," Taylor said in the Wrangler. "Strike that one off the list of churches to go to."  Someone was running up to them. "Wait a minute!  Y'all are first time visitors?" "Yes, we are."   The guy smiled.  "Here is a complimentary coffee cup for each of you.  Sorry we missed you earlier.  God bless.."  With that he was gone. They looked at the cups. Community Church, Millvale.  Have a Blessed Day. "Something to remember it by." "I don't think I will forget. I wonder what second time visitors get?" "I am so not interested. "   The next day her phone was exactly where she thought it would be.  Something would have to be done, but she was not sure what.  In the meantime her phone and purse would be in the drawer, and the drawer would be locked whenever she was away from her desk.                  
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...