Not Looking Forward to Christmas

[Raven1981]

Just wanted to share that I am NOT looking forward to Christmas.  This is my first Christmas being out and living as my authentic self and yet I am not going to have anyone to spend it with.  I have a good hunch that since my grandparents and my dad have just outright stopped communicating with me and just does not even recognized me anymore, I am most likely not going to get anything or a card or an invite from them.  Then I really do not have any friends in the U.S. PHX area to spend the time with.  So at this point, I have no plans and I am dreading the day to come.  All I would like to do is get past this Christmas holiday as quickly as possible and get it behind me.  But well, I am just not looking forward to the day.  Guess it will be my first ever holiday spending it alone and forgotten.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[RithiaAllen]

My suggestion is check your local support groups. I remember back in Virginia when I first started there was a Christmas party.

 

Also make local friends at the support group and you can have people to spend your time with.

 

Also remember Christmas is just another day.

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Amy,  I am not either for different reasons. One I have been living off of savings for the past year after being laid off for budget reasons and am starting my own business. Another is that my brothers put myself and my dad in an awkward spot. Saying basically that they tolerate my presence, so I can come but if I bring my girlfriend they won't. or don't want want her there period. I basically said then that I was not coming, because I was not leaving her alone on Christmas then. Right now, I don't even want to contact those two at all anymore.

 

Thankfully I have my girlfriend and other friends to hang out with. I think that was one of the things that helped get me through this.  I went to a couple of trans support groups in my area and made some friends that way, I also made some friends at one of the local LGBT bars.

[Briana]

Hi Amy, that just makes me both sad and angry regarding your dad and your grandparents.  Our children are our children and we love them no matter what.  I just DON'T understand when parents/siblings/grandparents act that way.  

 

I wish I had a good idea/suggestion for you to make it all better.  Perhaps volunteering at a shelter or something similar my bring some good feelings, I don't know. 

[KymmieL]

To me Christmas is just another day of the week. I used to like X-mas when I was younger. Watching the boys open gifts. Now I can care less. I try for sake of my wife who always gets in the spirit.

May or my not go to the store x-mas party on Sat. Unlike other years. we don't have someone from another store to cover. so guess who gets to arrive 2 hrs late. Me. So, I may not even go for spite. Not that I will really be missed.

Maybe the military turn X-mas around for me. Making it just another day.

 

Kymmie

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Amy,

I'm sorry to hear that your family has not been so accepting of you. But you never know, you may be surprised.

 

Rithia Allen's idea of checking local support groups is a good one. Otherwise, even doing something special for yourself might help a bit. Cooking an extra good supper or something might be nice. It could take a little bit of the edge off anyway, giving yourself something nice to look forward to. Or maybe order a big pizza on xmas eve with all your favorite toppings, big enough to have left over for xmas day. Make xmas a big movie day (doesn't have to be holiday related movies). One xmas I watched "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Another I watched Harry Potter all day. Just some thoughts.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[Raven1981]

Thank You all for all the support and ideas.  My mom is the only family that is coming around and she mentioned that she will be out of town on Christmas.  My dad and my grandparents from my dad side and then my aunt and uncle from my mom side who all live in California, just dont speak to me or anything.  My sister does not even speak to me either.

 

I have tried to be the bigger person and be friendly and have mailed out Christmas cards to everyone just to be friendly and to try to get anyone to speak to me.

 

I am thinking on asking my supervisor if I can work a double.  I have to work Christmas Eve overnight into Christmas morning at work and thinking why not since I dont have plans to continue to work Christmas morning and I have to work the overnight shift which means Christmas night  into the 26th.  So why dont I just stay at work and work the whole time.  It's not like it's going to be busy at work.  It will be dead at work.

 

Thank you all

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Leo]

Hi Amy,  I'm new here and haven't yet completed writing my introduction.  However, I hope you don't mind me commenting.  Please remember that being a woman is more than looks, it is also attitude.  What type of woman do you want to be?  Vulnerable and begging for scraps of affection?  Or powerful, taking charge of your life and the people in it?  This is your choice to make, not your relatives.  We can not control how people respond to our gestures of kindness, however, you know in your heart that you have done the right thing for you. 

This Christmas, how about celebrating it as the beautiful, proud, strong, confident, woman that you are.  Confidence is what changes your life, not your looks. Some examples:  On Christmas day, share a beautiful, uplifting story on this site for those that are struggling.  Make arrangements to bring small gifts and chat with lonely grandparents in nursing homes.  Or call your local senior center and offer to visit and share a home cooked meal with a lonely senior.  ( I have found that lonely, elderly people are very accepting.  All they really want is someone to listen to their lovely stories, and to know that they have not been forgotten. We seem to know what it is like not to feel wanted more than most folks do so it is a wonderful gift to share).   Also, don't forget to decorate your windows and home with lights to reflect the beautiful woman that you have become. The opportunity to share your personal beauty and gifts with others are endless.  

 

Wishing you the best, Leo
 

 

 

[Kirsten]

When I was younger I would go to six flags on my birthday alone because my family didn’t care and I wasn’t even out then. I’d have a great day every year too. Maybe something like that would be good for you? Less choices as to what’s open I’m sure but there must be something fun that you like to do? 

Point is find something fun that you love and do that instead. Don’t sit around upset to be alone. Make your own fun! 

Sorry that you have to deal with a crappy family. I know the feeling. ❤️❤️

[Rachael]

Lots of good suggestions, if you were closer you could come over. Might be a long drive. 

You maybe alone but you are not forgotten. 

Merry christmas ? 

[Raven1981]

Hello All:

 

So I have figured in preparation for Christmas for my first time alone on the holiday, I just got done buying some Christmas presents for myself that I am going to wrap and place under the tree and will put a TO: me and FROM: me on the Christmas presents.  This way, I still have something to open.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

[Martyn]

Just now, Amy LeBlanc said:

Hello All:

 

So I have figured in preparation for Christmas for my first time alone on the holiday, I just got done buying some Christmas presents for myself that I am going to wrap and place under the tree and will put a TO: me and FROM: me on the Christmas presents.  This way, I still have something to open.

 

Lots of Love

 

Amy

Hi Amy, I can relate to how you feel completely, I just can’t cope with it this year. I want nothing to do with Christmas, want to shut myself away till it’s all over, want to see or speak to no one.

 

Martyn x