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Kirsten

Yes on 3

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MaryMary

It says it's no longer available for me. Is it a public or a private post?

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Susan R

I have no Facebook account.  Can you paraphrase the article or post for us, Kirsten?

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Jani

Look at the News sub forum.  Caroline has posted a story about this. The instigator behind the anti-transgender bill (question 3) in Massachusetts admitted their argument was made up.

 

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RithiaAllen

Time to drag them into court and throw a bunch of charges like hate crime motivated slander/defamation of an entire group of people. If that person has licenses write to the bar/agency/company holding the license(s) and request that they be revoked for unethical conduct and make an example of the person.

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Kirsten

Yeah @Jani. And he also said they did the exact same thing in Houston and succeeded!! These people are rediculous. The Uber right wing rhetoric is borderline radical activism!!! And nobody seems to give a flying you know what!! I wish that all the people that were duped into voting no would see this and realize just how stupid they are. 

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SugarMagnolia

I agree. However, this approach is not new.

Activists and politicians have been using fear and bigotry in this way for ages. We only tend to notice when we're the ones being targeted. Usually, it's coded a little better instead of being such a blatant lie, a la Willie Horton, but it's been a constant for ages on both sides of the political spectrum because political ads and rhetoric are not required to be truthful.

I honestly don't know what can be done other than trying to debunk them in real time. Thankfully, the Measure 3 folks have admitted that we've figured out how to diffuse their fear mongering, so one hopes that at the least they'll have to adopt a new lie.

I'm quite proud of Massachusetts for not falling for it!

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Cyndee

Laws in search of problems. This stuff is getting really old, quite tired of being a political punch bag. More and more people see through this crapola, and you see it in the numbers. Why don't social conservatives just find something else to blame.

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Kirsten

The worst thing is that over 3 Million dollars was spent on this stupid campaign. 30 dollars buys 100 meals at the food bank so that’s 100 million meals for poor people who can’t afford to eat that just got wasted on crap. If this country stopped doing these kind of things and put their money time and effort to good uses the world could be an amazing place. But no. We’d rather fight with each other. Stupid really. 

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Kirsten

Sorry 1 too many 0s. Cold fingers. Lol 10mil meals. 

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SugarMagnolia

That's a great way of thinking about it, Kirsten. Terribly sad, though. 

Btw, what's the right way to refer to residents of Massachusetts? Massachusites, Massachusonians, Massachusetters?

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MaryEllen

Massholes is the prevalent moniker given to us by folks from neighboring states. LOL  :D

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Jani

Thats a good question Julie.  I don't think I've ever heard any of them... just "Massachusetts residents".   Whatever it is, its a mouthful! 

 

Just now, MaryEllen said:

Massholes is the prevalent moniker given to us by folks from neighboring states. LOL  :D

And we're said to be from "Cow Hampshire"!

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SugarMagnolia

I've always liked "Maine-iacs" for their northern neighbors 🙂

 

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Jani

I was born in Maine so I am a "Mainer" at heart.  I alway thought Mainiac was a term of endearment! 

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SugarMagnolia

I agree, Jani! I have lots of family in Maine and have always heard Mainiac used in a nice way. 

I really appreciate that Mainers are able to simplify things. There are two kinds of people: Mainers and summer people/people "from away" 🙂

 

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Susan R
48 minutes ago, Jani said:

I was born in Maine so I am a "Mainer" at heart.  I alway thought Mainiac was a term of endearment! 

Lived in Augusta for a couple of years growing up..(4th and 5th grade).  It was a great place to be and I love the memories of I have..especially the summers.  I need to get back there before it's too late.

 

Susan R🌷

 

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MaryEllen

I'm a native Mainer too. Northwestern Maine. Red neck country. :D

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SeekingSadie

Have to say from over here this seems like a complete farce - I am sorry that this is a genuine issue it really shouldn't be. What does the law say about cleaners going into the opposite WC? - it happens frequently over here while in use and no one bats an eyelid.

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Jani
3 hours ago, Susan R said:

I need to get back there before it's too late.

Well, when you do, you need to let me know!

 

3 hours ago, MaryEllen said:

I'm a native Mainer too. Northwestern Maine.

The far Southern corner for me!  

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Susan R
Just now, Jani said:
4 hours ago, Susan R said:

I need to get back there before it's too late.

Well, when you do, you need to let me know!

I'll make sure I do, Jani! 😀

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tracy_j
18 hours ago, SeekingSadie said:

Have to say from over here this seems like a complete farce - I am sorry that this is a genuine issue it really shouldn't be. What does the law say about cleaners going into the opposite WC? - it happens frequently over here while in use and no one bats an eyelid.

 

The scariest moment I have had when using the loo was when I was in a cubicle and a women exclaimed that she didn't expect to find a man there. Then she started talking to the cleaner (she was just joking lol). She will never know how my stress level went up! :D

 

Tracy

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SeekingSadie

😂 Tracy you just made my day!

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Susan R

Too funny Tracy.🤣 Thanks for sharing!

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Kirsten

Yeah @SugarMagnolia I would have to say masshole. It’s more of a mass driver term though. We are all New Englanders more than anything. 

 

@SeekingSadie I have never had any issues in any public restroom. I have had plenty of women talk to me, and have never heard a bad word said. Like the article had said, it was all a lie made up by some right wing political group. 

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    • Kirsten
      Some days I just hate having to be the bigger person though. Ya know?! Someday I’ll get my chance. I hope. 🤷🏻‍♀️   Yeah Brandi it is nice in red too. I didn’t see red in person, only black but I liked everything about it. Cut fit style etc.... just not meant to be I guess. 
    • BrandiBri
      Wow, that dress pops in red! I may have to order one for myself! The black is nice as well.
    • Lizzie McTrucker
      More than once I was looking for my phone while holding it. 😣
    • MaryMary
      that's why we say "one step at a time". Honestly my understanding always evolve. For me it's so deeply rooted in instinct and childhood irrationals. I'm always finding new ways to describe what I feel so people understand as best as possible. I find that to describe how we feel language still fall horribly short. This can cause some extra confusion. I hope you will clear some of that confusion and shine a light on what your feelings mean to you. Good luck on what's to come.
    • BrandiBri
      Happy Birthday Jayson! 🎂 Hope your day goes well!   Hugs,  Brandi
    • Kirsten
      I am skipping it I think. I think it’s too much for my wife. As what usually happens she finally told me the issue. She is worried that someone would say something about me and she believes that wearing anything like a dress will make me more of a target. And then the real reason finally came out. She sees all the changes and is just overwhelmed. She wants things to go slower. She wants me to be her version of transitioning. And that’s understandable I think. But only to a certain point. It was like the shoes thing. She didn’t want me wearing women’s shoes for months. But then one day it was ok. And at this point there isn’t issue with shoes.  Its so hard to walk that line between both of us being happy about this process. But I have to remember how much she has lost as well. How hard all of this is for her. How it will take her time too. It took me 30 years. I can’t expect her to come to terms in 7 months.  I am going to try to find something like a pair of high waisted slacks and a shimmery top. Nothing too fancy. Nothing too feminine. Even though it is who I am, it’s not what she can see yet. 
    • Reptidad
      Hello!          Let me start by saying hello to everyone. I knew when I was young that I landed in the wrong body. I prayed for God to take me at 9 years old. God hasn't taken me yet, and I am 51. Please know this Eliza. Go slow. Also be realistic. You sound like you have a plan. Remember cost. A fully functioning phalloplasty takes 2 or 3 surgeries. That is about 2 years worth. (healing, being able to use). I was quoted $50-55,000. Now, I am not here to be a downer. I want you to know that most surgeons do not work with Medicare. I have United Health Ins. through that and they will not work with it, they will give me an estimate. I cannot afford the procedure. BUT.....My friend, did get a metoidioplasty through Dr. Sherman Leis in PA, and is very happy. (That is the elongated clitoris). You said something about 4". This depends on how your built. The testosterone helps with the growth, I have been on it for 10 years.            If you "Google" FTM Bottom surgery you will get cost, the surgeons who do it, what is involved. You sound like you have it going on. The therapist letter is VERY important, appearing in public as the gender you wish to be is a stupid requirement, but must be done. (a therapist will vouch) I got everything but the $$. If I was a younger me, I would tell "me"....cost and a place to work like Starbucks. (they pay for your surgery!) Find out what insurance a surgeon will work with. It cost me $11,000 to go to San Francisco. $8,500 for the chest reconstruction and hotel, food, cab.            Only rely on you. YOU GOT THIS Eliza. IT CAN BE DONE. HAS BEEN DONE, AND I KNOW YOU WILL DO THIS.   
    • SugarMagnolia
      Having torn off the clothes off fear We stand naked in the world Exposing not our skin but our souls   And living bare in front of the world We cling tightly to the safety of the wreckage that was us Realizing, in time, that though adrift, we can swim   Why is there such gravity to being? We want each choice to be the right one We are infinitesimal Yet we're all we have   And Isn't it enough to be warm, safe and fed? Comfortable and loved? Though inevitably dead, we’re compelled To search for meaning in the wake of time   What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to be conscious? How will we use the time that we have left? How will we even use this moment?
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    • Willow421
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    • Leo
      Kirsten, I like the dress you chose in black. Every woman needs a little black dress. The style and length is fairly neutral and can be dressed up or down so it is something you can wear on multiple occasions. Play around with different accessories, shoes, and jewelry to get the look you want.  Boots, lower heels, tights, Christmas themed jewelry are more casual, than 4 " heels and pearls. 
    • RithiaAllen
      Yes I agree. Part of it is because now it has an accent with the hair, shoes and the belt. It’s not all just one color.
    • SeekingSadie
      I know its easy for me to say sitting here in my closet on Google (Oh WOW I love the dress in that colour!), but if you know what's in store and what will fit in at the party and look good on you, and you know your wife will be happy doing her own thing then just go for it. Why not get dressed up? 
    • Kirsten
      Sadie, that second one is very nice. They do have my dress in red. But only online. I wouldn’t have it by Saturday so it’s gotta be something in-store. I have a charcoal gray turtleneck tunic that I can wear over my nice jeans if I don’t find anything.  I guess my issue is more that I just want to be dressed up someday. Being a parent of a 3 and 13 year old set of boys alone doesn’t allow much time for anything fancy. Add to that my wife who doesn’t even wear makeup and can’t walk in heels and it just seems like there is never a time to wear anything nice. Idk.  Here’s the dress in red. But it’s not in-store so not really an option either. 
    • Leo
      My thoughts are that you are getting a lot out of this relationship. Toxicity can be powerfully addicting.  However, like any drug it can ultimately destroy you. Therapy can be a lifeline out of this relationship. 
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