Introduction

[mdj]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm new to this forum and just wanted to introduce myself. I have been struggling with my sense of gender identity (and as a result, my sexual orientation) for several months, and more recently it hasn't been going well. I have a very supportive spouse who is incredibly helpful, but it's terrifying to think that he made marital promises to a person that I no longer think I am. Even when I think I've figured myself out, I struggle to tell him what I've learnt for fear of his rejection.

 

The other day I had a complete breakdown. I'm not sure if I was suicidal, but I hated myself. And most of all, I hated the body I was born into. Fortunately, my spouse was right there with me through the whole thing. Once I regained control of my emotions, he really pushed me to get help. I have a call into a therapist in my area, but I am also grateful that I found these forums. In my 18-hour membership here, I've already found countless stories of people who feel exactly like me. Suddenly I'm not alone, I'm not a freak, I'm not searching for something that doesn't exist. I'm so glad I found y'all.

 

I'm still going to get therapy, because I believe I need it. But it's so nice to feel like a member of a virtual community that promises not to judge me. Thank you for that.

 

--mdj

[VickySGV]

I am glad you have already gotten some good stuff from the site here already.  The entire site, Forums and Chat, was founded to be a resource for people in the places you have found yourself.  Absolutely get yourself into the care of a therapist who can help you deal with gender issues, and then be ready for a long and interesting trip.  It sound like you have a wonderful partner there, and while some parts of your relationship will change it sounds likely that you will still have a relationship with them.  Welcome.

[Carolyn Marie]

Hello, MDJ, and welcome to Trans Pulse.  I'm glad that you have support from your spouse, and have found things in these forums that give you solace and hope, and above all, knowledge that you are among friends.  I understand what you're going through, and the fear and anxiety you have before coming out to loved ones.  It sometimes works out wonderfully, as it did for me, but too often things turn out badly.  It's hard to know which it will be, and that is a scary thing.

 

Getting help and guidance from a therapist, hopefully an experienced gender therapist, can guide you through these uncertain times.  I wish you all the best.  Please don't hesitate to ask any questions.  We'll be here for you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Jani]

Hello MDJ.  Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad you found us and have seen the stories of others like yourself.  Your spouse is right that you should see a therapist to help you sort things out.  Keep the line of communication open with your spouse as they sound like a gem.  

 

Join in the conversation and ask any questions you have.  We'll do our best to address them.

 

Jani