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Very Confused/Looking for Answers


ConfusedPerson

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I’m here looking for answers and hoping to find someone who can help with my questioning of my gender identity.  I tried looking into genders and labels and whatever else but I’m just so confused and uncertain.  Can someone help?

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  • Root Admin

Hello Confused Person,

 

Welcome to TransPulse.  :)  I would recommend counseling with a gender therapist. He or she could help you find the answers that you seek.

 

MaryEllen

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, hon.  Almost all of us were confused and uncertain at some point in our journey.  I certainly understand how you feel.  We have a lot of great forums that are filled with threads and posts that may help answer some of your questions.  Why not read a few of those and then, when you have something specific, ask away.  We'll do our best to be helpful.  MaryEllen's suggestion of a gender therapist is also a great way to go if you can.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi and welcome to our home away from home.  As Carolyn Marie said...Most of us have all start out questioning these things in the beginning and I think you'll find many others here that can assist you.

I just want to add that we also have live chat through the Discord app or Website.  Check out the far right link in the Transpulse menu (you might find it under MORE...).  Many of us who post here in the forums pop onto Discord to chat about these same topics.  I'm in there periodically in the MtF channel.  I would enjoy chatting with you if you have the time.

 

Hope to see you there sometime,

Susan R?

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  • Admin

In addition to getting a therapist who deals in gender issues there are also a couple of Trans Conferences in your state.

http://www.keystone-conference.org/

You will meet other people in thee Trans spectrum, therapists, surgeons and a wide variety of others who can give you a hand.

 

The main page here on Trans Pulse lists a variety of care givers in your state, so have at it.  

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi and Welcome.  Don't be concerned with labels, just be you.  I'm sure you have a million questions and as Carolyn Marie suggests, ask away!   We'll do our best.  And remember there are no dumb questions.  We've all been where you are, questioning what it is we're going through and what does it mean.  There may be things we can't answer but we'll offer our support none the less.  I'm glad you found us.

 

Jani

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us!

 

When I first found these forums I tried to label myself right away. I was given advice that helped immensely. It was to slow down. There is no rush to label ourselves. Take your time, be yourself, read and post here, and let the answers come as they will. They will come.

 

If it is possible, seeing a gender therapist can be very helpful, as mentioned above.

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Admin

Something I should possibly have mentioned above, if you are confused about your gender, you have eliminated the possibility that you are Cis-gender, since people who are not some form of Transgender do not ever have those questions.  You are some type of Trans person, and it is not the destination of be one single gender that is what your goal is, but the journey to discovery that you take with other Trans friends and a medical team, yes team, that supports you in finding your true self. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

So essentially, I feel a sense of indifference to my body’s parts but when it comes to mindset, behaviors, and styles I don’t feel I fit in being a girl or being a boy.  Or sometimes I feel like I could go in between the two? But like I said, I’m indifferent about my body parts, it doesnt matter to me if I have girl parts or boy parts.  

Also, I’m afraid to misspeak and end up offending somebody, so I apologize if I did/do; I don’t really know how to properly word these thoughts/feelings.

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Hi ConfusedPerson,

 

You are certainly not alone in having the feelings that you describe, and they are definitely not something that you need to be ashamed of.  If you study the experiences of other people, you will find that the transgender spectrum covers a wide range of identities, and each person is unique. 

 

Don't feel that you are not valid because your feelings are not the same as someone else's.  Take the time to think about who you are, not what you think that pleases other people.

 

Please share your thoughts and ask questions whenever you wish.  You are unlikely to offend anyone, and your opinions are just as important as anyone else's.

 

Robin.

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  • Admin
13 hours ago, ConfusedPerson said:

So essentially, I feel a sense of indifference to my body’s parts but when it comes to mindset, behaviors, and styles I don’t feel I fit in being a girl or being a boy.  Or sometimes I feel like I could go in between the two?

 

Our bodies do have procreative sex organs that people assume set the stage for who we will be as far as our best identities go.  WE (including you I can see) do not see those  body parts as defining who our True Selves and expression of those selves really is. The organs are almost irrelevant to that part of our lives.  Identity is very different from sexuality, and how we present that identity to our communities is even more different.  

 

4 hours ago, Robin said:

You are unlikely to offend anyone, and your opinions are just as important as anyone else's. 

 

The only way to offend us here is to directly attack someone and tell them they do not belong here.

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