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SupportiveDad

Where do we start....

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SupportiveDad

Please forgive any ignorance on my part, I am trying to learn the process, terms, etc. My son is 17 and has been discussing his want/need to transition MTF for the last couple of years. My wife and I have been nothing but supportive of his decision but my concern is that he wants to start dressing more feminine without changing addressing anything else. Although the decision is fully supported, I worry for his safety and well-being at school mostly because I cannot roam the halls there to protect him/her from stupid people. Additionally, I have no idea where to even start as far as transition counseling, medications, and everything else that is involved in this journey. Please help.

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Charlize

Welcome Dad.

   Please take a look at the resources that are posted here in our resource locator:   https://www.transgenderpulse.com/resource-locator/   

There is most likely gender therapist listed in you area who can help.  I have found in my own journey that having the support and knowledge of a therapist helped me a great deal.  

  I did notice that you are still using male pronouns for the most part so i'm guessing your child isn't full time at present.  Therapy does help but time has shown that parental acceptance and support has been the most important factor for any young person who transitions.  Thank you for providing that support.

Hope that helps a bit.  We are always here to help as we can.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

  

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KymmieL

While I am the transgender one. I do have three sons. Me and my wife have supported all three of them in whatever they wanted to do. While only natural, I do see your need to protect him/her.  As Charlize suggested see a therapist. Is she out to any others. It took a lot of courage for her to come out to Mom and Dad. She may be out to another.

 

I would check with her counselor at school. See what the schools position is on transgender students. See if she has any problems in school, social or academic. A counselor will tell you whether or not there is a problem. Even if she doesn't.

 

I had wished I had realized I was transgender when I was 17. My life may have been a little happier. But then I wouldn't have my three great sons, and three grandchildren. It took me 30 more years to see my true self.

 

My best advice is to just keep loving and supporting your new daughter. That is what she needs most of all.

 

Hugs,

 

Kymmie

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Briana

Hi Supportivedad,  welcome to the forum.  There's a lot of good info here and people to help.  It's totally awesome that both you and your wife support your child.  Charlize's suggestion is a good one as far as seeing therapist.  I also like Kymmie's suggestion regarding your child's school counselor.  HS can be a very tricky place as we all know.  Not only does your child have their peers to deal with, but  sometimes their peer's parents, as well as school staff that sometimes are not the most supportive when we think they should be.

 

Something else to check is your health insurance if you have it.  Some health insurances actually have pretty good to great coverage for those seeking transgender support/help.  Another place to get some info is a local LGBT center.  In the larger cities they usually have some type of support group or at least resource info for trans individuals.  Many have teen specific support groups. 

 

Again, welcome and know that it's awesome that your behind your child.

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Susan R

Hello Supportivedad,  nice to meet you.  I can't really add much to the great information everyone has provided you in the posts above.  I just want to tell you I think it's great that you are reaching out and genuinely looking for help in this situation.  So many parents in similar situations don't give it a moment of thought how they can help their child like you're doing.  My parents played the ignore/denial card, others condemn their child for having such thoughts, and others ridicule the entire idea of their child identifying differently.  Thank you for thinking outside the box and seeing your child as who they are and not who they should be.

 

Best Wishes to you, your wife and your daughter,

Susan R🌷

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VickySGV

Here is a link to the PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays) which actually has a good program for parents of Trans children and the children as well. I went to their site and put in your town and you have a Chaoter not too far away.

 

https://pflag.org/find-a-chapter?field_geofield_distance[origin][zipcode]=&field_geofield_distance[origin][city]=Satellite+Beach&field_geofield_distance[origin][state]=FL&field_geofield_distance[distance]=50&field_geofield_distance[unit]=3959&sort_by=score&items_per_page=20

 

I am a board member of an LGBTQ+ community center, and I agree that they most likely will have resources and hopefully programs that your family can take part in as you get to know each other in new ways. 

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SugarMagnolia

I think you're wise to be cautious and careful. It looks like Brevard County schools did pass an LGBT anti-discrimination policy in 2017 and have stuck with it, so that's a good sign. However, the fact that it was contentious is worth considering. 

It might be a good idea to look into who was in favor of that policy within the school district and reach out to them. I suspect they would be very hooked into what resources are available and could help you navigate the process with whatever steps you and your child take. Similarly, there are some links below that will have similar contacts that would be a wealth of knowledge and help, I suspect.

I also found a number of orgs with some decent resources that you may want to look through.
Equality Florida School Resources including some in Brevard County - https://www.eqfl.org/school-resources
L.I.N.K of Brevard Resources - https://linkfl.org/resources/
Space Coast Pride LGBTQ+ Resources- https://www.spacecoastpride.org/resources.html

Good parents like you are a godsend and I can't thank you enough for supporting your child. It means everything! ❤️

Best,
Julie

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