Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What is needed for a complete gender change?


Wyattrans123

Recommended Posts

I am thinking about changing from male to female and i am wondering what types of surgery there are? Like for breast augmentation what would be a good size to start with? I am pretty thin, so i was thinking about a size b is that too small? Also what size is normal for my bottom? How painful are the surgeries? Would i have to take time off work? What followup surgeries are there? I want to make myself look pretty but not so dramatic that it is clearly noticeable that i am trans. How much daily medicine and shots do i have to take? Where is the best place to get surgery around iowa? What gender will i be attracted to after surgery? What is the best age to get gender change surgery?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I think you are putting the horse before the cart since there is so much to accomplish before therapists and doctors would sign off on surgeries.  Hormone treatment is a life long commitment.  I don't know of any surgeons in Iowa that perform GRS.  When I was staying in the recovery apartments of my surgeon there was a woman there that had come from Iowa.  This was in Pennsylvania.   Surgery will not change your attraction to one gender or the other!   There are many requirements for surgery but you'd have to be at least 18 on the low end and not so old that you're dead on the other end.

 

Look into seeing a gender therapist.  It sounds scary but only because you haven't yet.  Its all good if this is what you think you want/need to do.  Its not a sprint race but a long distance marathon.  

 

Cheers, Jani  

Link to comment

Hey there. I agree with jani. You need to do research on it and see a therapist. which btw jani, i have been seeing a therapist since november around thanksgiving i think i started and i have been seeing him every two weeks. it has been really nice to have him to talk to. hugs all!! Susan?

Link to comment
  • Admin

Lets list things out here on the surgery issues to give an idea. 

 

GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery)  1 to 3 year wait for most competent surgeons after paying a deposit fee, even with insurance.  12 to 18 months recovery time with first 6 months needing multiple daily dilation sessions which are messy and go from 2 to 8 on pain scales on a daily basis.  Limits on work for 6 months and no sex for 3 to 7 months (various surgeons).  Embarrassing problems in restrooms for 6 - 9 months with spraying and aim of urine.  Strange feeling in surgical zone 6 to 12 months as nerves re-connect. 9 to 12 months for complete healing and sensation in the clitoral, area.  About 60% of patients have some expected healing problems and infections are likely occur without fault of doctor or patient.  Pain meds are an addiction hazard but are needed.

 

Breast augmentation --  3 months to a year waiting time with a surgeon who will treat Trans patients, many will not treat us, and so travel will be an added cost.  Minimum of 6 weeks of limited activity (pay cuts)  and possibility of healing problems including infection or wound separation.  After a certain period of time set by the doctor daily massage that is vigorous and painful at times to keep the breast pliable.  Problems with future mammograms and cancer detection.  Chance of implants "migrating" and causing other problems.  Special Bras needed during healing are expensive. Pain is a huge issue, and most doctors will be cautious about heavy medication, so pain may not be fully medicated.

 

FFS (Feminizing Facial Surgery)  May need three sessions or more depending on what is deemed necessary.  Each session will be on a 3 to 7 month waiting list.  Three to six weeks of disability and wearing bandages that do not look feminine at all.  Depending on your own body's healing system, the surgery can undo itself and you will not end up with the effect you desire.  You will be signing a waiver of responsibility for most of that sort of thing, since it is out of the surgeon's control.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I will leave it at that for now.  I have had surgery and can tell you what it will not do for you.  It will not fulfill your dreams to any really large degree.  It will not solve problems that have existed in your life.  It will not assure that you love yourself or that others will love you.  The first few days after an operation people will be nice and kind to you and give you compliments on your courage or your recovery, but after a few weeks they get back to their lives while you are still recovering and if pressed to keep their attention, they begin to call you a lazy dog who needs to get a life.  I have been in this community for two decades and am one of the standard bearers, not a horrible exception.  This is  not the stuff of dreams, it is the stuff of pure NEED to enable your survival, and some do not survive it. 

 

 

Link to comment
9 hours ago, Wyattrans123 said:

I am thinking about changing from male to female and i am wondering what types of surgery there are? Like for breast augmentation what would be a good size to start with? I am pretty thin, so i was thinking about a size b is that too small? Also what size is normal for my bottom? How painful are the surgeries? Would i have to take time off work? What followup surgeries are there? I want to make myself look pretty but not so dramatic that it is clearly noticeable that i am trans. How much daily medicine and shots do i have to take? Where is the best place to get surgery around iowa? What gender will i be attracted to after surgery? What is the best age to get gender change surgery?

 

I will have to agree with everyone previously.  You are jumping way ahead of yourself and surgeries will not fix what you are looking for.  There is a certain path that usually has to be followed for not just legal reason but also for your health as well.  

 

Lets start with hormones, since you are wanting to go from Male to Female there is alot more cons than pros.  Like blood clots, cancer, DVT, sickness.  It is important to see the right doctor like an Endocrinologist  or Hormone specialist cause you have to do regular Lab checks on your hormone levels, how are you feeling.  Usually there are some individual that do not go for surgeries cause the hormones will change enough to not give you the dysphoria that is there in the first place.  Now for the pros on hormones, it will change your emotions and make you more emotional and redistribute your fat and stimulate your hair growth, start breast development and for some in the Trans community that hormones is just enough.

 

Then there is all the legal stuff, like picking a name and changing your name legally and updating your new name on your SS card and state ID and birth certificate, passport, then updating your name everywhere else.

 

Then pricing for all this gets very expensive and this is a life changing event and will have to be going on with you for life, even after surgeries, you will need to be on hormones for the rest of your life.

 

Here in PHX the doctor that I am planning on going to see for FFS has a year wait list and the average cost for FFS in the PHX area for the doctor I am seeing is around 20k, GCS can be the same amount as FFS, Breast augmentation can be around 10k, Oreamotiey can be 5k

 

Then there is the cost for legal name change, birth certificate, passport, new wardrobe, makeup, hormones on a monthly basis, seeing a specialist doctor for your hormone checkup's.  

 

It is very suggested to start with finding a Gender Therapist in your area to go see.  If this is truly who you are that you believe you are then you need to see a gender therapist in your area and to talk to them and ask them the same questions and to see if you have dysphoria.

 

Being Trans is not a choice, but something that is much needed like how Vicky mentioned for survival and to be able to function correctly.

 

There is alot more to Transitioning but I am leaving it with this information.  If this is you, please look at finding a gender therapist and research, google search WPATH.

 

Thanks

Link to comment
  • Admin
15 hours ago, VickySGV said:

Breast augmentation --  3 months to a year waiting time with a surgeon who will treat Trans patients, many will not treat us, and so travel will be an added cost.  Minimum of 6 weeks of limited activity (pay cuts)  and possibility of healing problems including infection or wound separation.  After a certain period of time set by the doctor daily massage that is vigorous and painful at times to keep the breast pliable.  Problems with future mammograms and cancer detection.  Chance of implants "migrating" and causing other problems.  Special Bras needed during healing are expensive. Pain is a huge issue, and most doctors will be cautious about heavy medication, so pain may not be fully medicated.

 

Just learned from a medical friend who had implants 10 years ago that she is going to have to have her old implants taken out and replaced, and in 10 to 12 years will have to do it again. Something to add on to the negatives.  This is not just her, it is everyone with implants who values their life.

Link to comment

I am not worried about the pain, i would rather live my life as the gender i feel like i am, i don’t want to live my being sad

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Please take a deep breath not forgetting to breath out.  Transition is a journey which took me years and which continues even today despite living openly for years.   

While we tend to focus on medical intervention often a self acceptance is the hardest hurdle.  Moving around the world as myself without fear has been the most important part of the journey for me.  

Therapy was critical and my time here helped me a great deal.  At one point i remember a member saying she "had my back".  That meant a great deal to me.

You're not alone.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
6 hours ago, Wyattrans123 said:

I am not worried about the pain, i would rather live my life as the gender i feel like i am, i don’t want to live my being sad

 

Many words of truth and pain above, it's a long road, and there is no instant fix, like snap your fingers and you are a girl that everyone accepts. Like Vicky said above, some don't survive this process, people die over GD, the depression can be deadly, that's why we are here, because we've been there, did I say depression is deadly ? Even if your body can survive the process of gender transition and surgeries, there are many aspects of this journey that is darn right depressing, and that can be the biggest risk long term. I would simply venture a guess that based on your location (Iowa), that you are more at risk for gender related depressions, then say someone in suburban California. Yes geographic social climate can be a big factor in how things turn out for you.

 

You will need professional help to medically transition. For the MTF,  you might not consider breast augmentation without starting HRT first, does that make sense ?

 

Take good care, GD is nasty stuff, and is darn right depressing at times.

 

C -

 

 

Link to comment
On 1/10/2019 at 5:09 PM, VickySGV said:

 

Just learned from a medical friend who had implants 10 years ago that she is going to have to have her old implants taken out and replaced, and in 10 to 12 years will have to do it again. Something to add on to the negatives.  This is not just her, it is everyone with implants who values their life.

Are you sure?  What is the reason that they need to be taken out?  What implants did she have.  By the time line, i would guess it were saline filled bags, and they can leak a little, but it should not be any health problem, just the boobs get smaller over time.

 

It depends pretty much on the type of augmentation, the  type of implant and the individual if the implants have to be exchanged every 10 years or not.

Link to comment
Just now, Linde said:

Are you sure?  What is the reason that they need to be taken out?  What implants did she have.  By the time line, i would guess it were saline filled bags, and they can leak a little, but it should not be any health problem, just the boobs get smaller over time.

 

It depends pretty much on the type of augmentation, the  type of implant and the individual if the implants have to be exchanged every 10 years or not.

And to amend this, one should not get any implants until hormone induced breast growth is over (between 2 to 5 years, depending on the individual).

Link to comment

Your first step is to find a therapist who specializes in gender identification therapy. Here's a link: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/transgender. After you've seen the therapist for while to confirm that transition is what you want, a physician who does medical transition therapy will see you, so you can start hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You have to be on HRT for one year before a WPATH surgeon will consider you for gender affirmation surgery. It's about a two year process minimum and there are protocols that must be followed. And there are waiting lists and insurance approvals, unless you can self fund the $50,000 to $100,000 process.

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Beverly said:

Your first step is to find a therapist who specializes in gender identification therapy. Here's a link: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/transgender. After you've seen the therapist for while to confirm that transition is what you want, a physician who does medical transition therapy will see you, so you can start hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You have to be on HRT for one year before a WPATH surgeon will consider you for gender affirmation surgery. It's about a two year process minimum and there are protocols that must be followed. And there are waiting lists and insurance approvals, unless you can self fund the $50,000 to $100,000 process.

If all the stars align it can be done in a year . I screamed through the process but it required me to work my butt off and in the end my resolve was tested.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   12 Members, 0 Anonymous, 197 Guests (See full list)

    • Mmindy
    • VickySGV
    • Carolyn Marie
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • missyjo
    • Ashley0616
    • Susie
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • MaeBe
    • EasyE
    • Evelyn J
    • Cavetowns_fkin_awesome
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,021
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Tami
    Newest Member
    Tami
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bebhar
      Bebhar
      (41 years old)
    2. caelensmom
      caelensmom
      (40 years old)
    3. Jani
      Jani
      (70 years old)
    4. Jessicapitts
      Jessicapitts
      (37 years old)
    5. klb046
      klb046
      (30 years old)
  • Posts

    • missyjo
      orange cotton top n sashed jeans..wedges off now..torrid undies in light blue bra n lace panties   I'm trying minimum makeup..shrugs..well see hugs if you want them
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was hot that August day, even in Hall J.  Hall J was a freshman dormitory, and Odie had just unpacked his stuff.  He sat on the edge of his bed.  He had made it. He was here, five hundred miles away from home.  His two roommates had not arrived, and he knew no one. His whole life lay ahead of him, and he thought of the coming semester with excitement and dread.   No one knew him.  No one. Suddenly he was seized with a desire to live out the rest of his life as a woman.  With that, he realized that he had felt that way for a long time.  He had never laughed when guys made jokes about women, and often he felt shut out of certain conversations.  He was neither effeminate nor athletic, and he had graduated just fine, neither too high in his class to be considered a nerd or low enough to not get into this college, which was more selective than many. He was a regular guy.  He had dated some, he liked girls and they liked him.  He had friends, neither fewer than most nor more than most.   Drama club in high school: he had so wanted to try out for female parts but something held him back.  He remembered things from earlier in his life: this had been there, although he had suppressed it. Mom had caught him carrying his sister's clothes to his room when he was eight, shortly before the divorce, and he got thoroughly scolded.  They also made sure it never, ever happened again. He had always felt like that had contributed somehow to the divorce, but it was not discussed, either.  He was a boy and that was the end of it.   Dad was part of that.  He got Odie every other weekend from the time of the divorce and they went hunting, fishing, boating, doing manly things because Dad thought he should be a man's man. The first thing that always happened was the buzz cut.  Dad was always somewhat disappointed in Odie, it seemed, but never said why.  He was a hard man and he had contempt for sissies, although that was never directed at Odie. Mom always said she loved him no matter what, but never explained what that meant.   Odie looked through the Freshman Orientation Packed.  Campus map.  Letter from the Chancellor welcoming him.  Same from the Dean.  List of resources: health center, suicide prevention, and his heart skipped a beat: transgender support.  There was something like that here?   He tore off a small piece of paper.  With sweating hands he wrote on it "I need to be a girl." He looked at it, tore it up and put the different pieces in different trash cans, even one in a men's room toilet the men on this floor shared. He flushed it and made sure it went down.  No one had seen him; he was about the first to arrive.   He returned to his room.   He looked in the mirror.  He was five-ten, square jawed, crew cut.  Dad had seen to it that he exercised and he had muscles.  No, he said to himself, not possible. Not likely.  He had to study and he had succeeded so far by pushing this sort of thing into the back of his mind or wherever it came from.   A man was looking back at him, the hard, tough man Dad had formed him to be, and there was absolutely nothing feminine about any of it.  With that, Odie rejected all this stuff about being trans.  There had been a few of those in high school, and he had always steered clear of them.  A few minutes later he met his roommates.
    • EasyE
      yes, i agree with this ... i guess my biggest frustrations with all this are: 1) our country's insistence to legislate everything with regards to morals ... 2) the inability to have a good, thorough, honest conversation which wrestles with the nuances of these very complex issues without it denigrating to name-calling or identity politics.  agreed again... i still have a lot to learn myself ... 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It's been bugging me that the sneakers I have been wearing are 1) men's and 2) I need canvas, because summer is coming.  WM has a blue tax on shoes, don't you know? My protocol is to go when there is no one in the ladies' area because I get looks that I don't like, and have been approached with a 'can I help you sir' in a tone than means I need to explain myself, at which point i become inarticulate.   But I found these canvas shoes.  Looking at them, to see if they would pass as male, I realized they might not, and furthermore, I don't really care.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      My wife's nurse was just here.  It is a whole lot easier to relate to her as another woman than to negotiate m/f dynamics and feel like I have to watch myself as a male around her.  It dropped a lot of the tension off, tension that I thought entirely internal to myself, but it made interactions a whole lot better.     I read your post, so I thought I would go look.   In the mirror I did not see a woman; instead I saw all these male features.  In the past that has been enough for me to flip and say 'this is all stupid ridiculous why do I do this I am never going to do this again I am going to the basement RIGHT NOW to get men's stuff and I feel like purging'.  Instead I smiled, shrugged my shoulders and came back here.  Panties fit, women's jeans fit.  My T shirt says DAD on it, something I do not want to give up, but a woman might crazily steal hubby's t-shirt and wear it.  I steal my own clothes all the time.    But she is here, this woman I liked it when I saw her yesterday. and her day will come.  I hope to see her again.
    • April Marie
      So many things become easier when you finally turn that corner and see "you" in the mirror. Shedding the guilt, the fear, the questioning becomes possible - as does self-love - when that person looking back at you, irrespective of what you're wearing, is the real you.   I am so happy for you!! Enjoy the journey and where it leads you.
    • MaeBe
      I'm sure even the most transphobic parents would, too. What does it hurt if a child socializes outside of their family in a way that allows them to understand themselves better? I have encountered a handful of kids do the binary, non-binary, back to binary route and they got to learn about themselves. In the end, there may have been some social self-harm but kids are so darned accepting these days. And really, schools aren't policing pronouns, but the laws that are coming out are making them do so--and in turn requiring a report to a parent that may cause some form of harm to the child.   If the kid wants to lie to, or keep secrets from, their parents about their gender expressions, what does it say about the parents? Perhaps a little socialization of their thoughts will give them the personal information to have those conversations with them? So when they do want to have that conversation they can do so with some self-awareness. This isn't a parent's rights issue, it's about forcing a "moral code" onto schools that they must now enforce--in a way that doesn't appreciably assist parents or provide benefit to children.   So, a child that transitioned at 5 and now in middle/high school that is by all rights female must now go into a bathroom full of dudes? What about trans men, how will the be treated in the girl's restroom? I see a lot of fantasy predator fearmongering in this kind of comment. All a trans kid wants to do in a bathroom is to handle their bodily functions in peace. Ideally there would be no gendered restrooms or, at least, a valid option for people to choose a non-gendered restroom. However, where is the actual harm happening? A trans girl in a boy's room is going experience more harm than a girl being uncomfortable about a trans girl going into and out of a stall.   How about we teach our children that trans people aren't predators who are trying to game the system to eek out some sexual deviancy via loophole? How about we treat gender in a way that doesn't enforce the idea that girls are prey and boys are  predators? How about we teach them trans kids are just kids who want to get on with their day like everyone else?
    • Adrianna Danielle
      I hope so and glad he loves and accepts me for who I am
    • EasyE
      It is sad that we can't have more open and honest dialogue on these types of topics because there is worthy debate for sure. But instead we have become a country where the only goal is to seize political power and then legislate our particular agenda and views of morality.   Remember as you read my thoughts below, that I am transgender. OK? I am pro-trans. I am trans.   But my middle school aged daughter would be extremely uncomfortable using a school bathroom also used by a biological male, as would nearly all of her friends. That side has to be considered. It's not invalidating to a trans youth's experience to take that into account and hash out what is for the common good of as many people as possible. This is reality - one person's gender expression makes others uncomfortable, in all directions. And there is disagreement on the best way to handle these types of things.   Why can't we talk about these things openly, without the inevitable name-calling that follows, and let all sides have their input and work up suitable solutions? (I bet the kids, if left alone, would work up the best solutions)... Instead, we go straight to trying to pass laws, as if we need more of those!   And why wouldn't we want parents to know if their child has decided to change their pronouns? That's a big deal and parents are right to raise that as a concern. I certainly would want to know. Not that we need to legislate this, but I would have a hard time with school administrators who try to hide this from me. They are out of line. This is my child. Whether you like my viewpoints or not, I am the parent. Not the school.    Again, I am pro-trans. I am trans. At the same point, I recognize that validating a transgender individual's gender identity doesn't trump everything else in society. And sometimes I see that creeping into these discussions. Plus, we fight a losing battle if we have to have others' validation. We are never going to get it from everybody. Ever. Not even Jesus got it and He is God himself!   This country can be very beautiful as we each exercise our freedom to be who we are and let others do the same. But my freedom ends where yours begins and vice-versa. That requires self-sacrifice. Sometimes we have to fall back out of respect for others. Sometimes we have to let the parent be the parent even if we disagree with their politics.   My cry in the wilderness is just can we please have more open, honest dialogue where both sides try take the other's views into consideration and quit automatically going the legislative route to criminalize the other side's viewpoints.   Sorry for the rant but sometimes all of this wears me out... deep sigh... 
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Bite by bite, acrobatics in abdomen
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Yesterday when I put that shirt on I saw a woman looking back out of the mirror at me.  Usually I have looked and been very frustrated because I see a man where there should be a woman.  I was expecting to see a man wearing a woman's shirt, but it was a woman wearing a woman's shirt.   On the spectrum between intersex and trans, I am more thinking I am a lot more intersex than trans, and it is only a matter of time before my wife says "you need a bra" and then "you look like a woman!" She told me whatever I want to do is fine with her, she loves me no matter what, and I am thinking that there may be a lot more for her in this than she could possibly expect. I'm not pushing it with her.
    • Petra Jane
      We have been asked to post this study.   I'm an undergraduate university student in my third year completing a BSc in Anthropology. I'm working on my dissertation, looking at languages with grammatical gender (e.g. languages like Italian and Spanish, nouns are either masculine or feminine). I'm curious if this affects/bothers people with gender identities outside the typical binary of male and female, like non-binary or transgender identities. Using this forum, I would be very grateful if anyone could answer the 5 questions I have put together in a Google form, they are open-ended questions, and you can be as brief or detailed as you want/comfortable with! All responses will also be kept anonymous. As you can probably guess, I came to online forums because finding participants in person is difficult. Talking about gender identities, I understand, can be very personal, so this online anonymised format can be safer. :) If anyone is also particularly interested in this topic, it would be awesome to message one-on-one and do the Google form survey. Having one and one interviews would also be good research! But NONE of this is compulsory, and only if anyone is interested and doesn't mind helping me out and can do so. Institution Supervising Research Study University of Kent Web Address for Study Participation https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS9zU_dt3RR1V8-3s_0EnDl6w-jsS6-WOZO41uWeqUP0q_YQ/viewform?usp=sf_link
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...