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SugarMagnolia

Great NYT Op Ed response to ROGD claims from Jenny Boylan...

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SugarMagnolia

There was a recent WSJ opinion piece promoting the Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) "syndrome" that has been adopted by many anti-trans activists lately. It was NOT helpful to trans youth at all. Indeed, in my opinion it was extremely harmful.

Thankfully, Jennifer Finney Boylan has penned an eloquent, informed, thoughtful and very timely response in the NYT. I found it very helpful in discussing this issue with a parent of an adult trans child that I know from my local PFLAG chapter. In our quest to be believe, trusted and to not have our identities debated, we sometimes find it difficult to empathize with parents who simply want the best for their children. Jenny's piece artfully debunks ROGD while lovingly acknowledging how hard it can be for parents of trans kids. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/08/opinion/trans-teen-transition.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

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Roadster

That's a great read for sure.

I think it can indeed seem to suddenly arise out of nowhere... but it's because it's been building so long, and it's so scary to talk about it, that it just explodes out if you haven't been swimming in it, if that makes sense?

I'm really glad that kids today have a vocabulary for it and can actually talk about it, instead of just holding it inside for so long.

"Their sense is that being trans is just one more way of being human, and surely no source of shame."

It's so beautiful, innit?

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VickySGV

I have known Jenny Boylan for 10 years and met her in person several times.  I had not heard about her child -- daughter until now, although both this child and her son are part of her books She's Not There, and Stuck In The Middle With You where her children play a poignant role in the stories.  From all of this, I know that what she says here is her real and honest self.  My GD was rapid onset even to me at age 58 when it was adequately defined, and was coming out because it no longer had reasons to hide.  I rapidly realized that personal feelings of depression and dishonesty were telling me they were leaving, but leaving behind a true expression of my reality that I could no longer hide.  It was like a train hitting me.
 

I do feel badly for parents who are caught by surprise because this was not a possibility in their lives or their children's from what they blissfully had failed to learn or to take in because it would have upset their world view, and because such things made them worthy of damnation by their families and social circles if their children did have the traits of Gender Dysphoria.  Jenny at least took the micro moment to accept her daughter and to put self blame aside. 

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Josie Beth

That’s the biggest fear I have of confronting my parents with my identity, because they will take it personal, they will think they have somehow failed me by not doing something they should have done. My perspective would be that they often didn’t listen but I would hope they don’t necessarily think I’m trying to blame them. They have already gone through this before when years ago I got divorced and they felt betrayed because they thought they had taught me better. It took years for my insight to sink in that sometimes it’s not that we can do more or didn’t do something right but sometimes it’s not for us to control or change someone and accepting that powerlessness is a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes we can do everything we think is right on our end and other people won’t cooperate with our desires. That’s perfectly fine, because each person has the right to make their own decisions. They are also going to make it seem like I’m doing something that will hurt or confuse my nephews and nieces and try to guilt me into not going through with my transition. So, since I already know what the reaction is going to be based on past events, it becomes a choice between one type of pain or the other. Whether it’s openly dropping the bomb of transitioning on them or just melting away from them without any explanation, either way it’s going to hurt, but what is worse? It’s a hard thing to figure out because either way things will change but only one of those choices will give them a reason they can do something with. 

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