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Jellstrom

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Jellstrom

Hello I thought I would tell you all about myself. My name is Jessica and I am 28. I am the partner of a person who recently came out as male to female trans gender. I have been with this person for 5 years and I want to continue to be with them. I want to go on this journey with him as he becomes her. We went to our first doctors appointment and he as started testosterone blockers and a low dose of hormones. I know this isn't going to be easy for either of us and that is why I am here. I am going to need advice on what I should do help him with his transition and support as I deal with my feelings and being overwhelmed.

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Susan R

Hello Jessica,  my wife is in the same situation as yourself.  Most of all, your partner needs your acceptance, patience, communication and support.  She needs to know you to love her no matter what...unconditional love!  This is so important.  I don't know her complete story but she has probably been dealing with this a very long time.

I am sure she wouldn't mind a few compliments here and there on her choices feminine attire, hair, makeup, etc...they are always welcome and go a long way to building confidence of someone starting their transition.

 

I started hormones 14 weeks ago.  I told my wife a little about what was going on with me in the very beginning.  I finally told her everything on Dec 13.  She had empathy for me after I delved deep into my entire life story.  A month later we are happier than we've ever been and life is good and my gender dysphoria is gone.  There are no guaranties in life but these few basic needs will help your partner greatly.  I wish both of you the very best.  We are all here to help you any way we can.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Jellstrom

From what my partner said they have been very repress for a long time . He said he knew since he was 15 and his mom brushed it off as a phase which caused him to push down his feelings until now. We are looking at getting a house together and he finally is at a point in life where he feels stable and safe which is why I think he is coming out now. Honestly this wasnt a complete shock like the rug had been ripped out underneath me. He liked to dress on occasion and sometimes do his nails but for the longest time I thought this was just a side of him. I never thought he was trans. I know that I need to start using she instead of he. Its something I am trying to get used to doing. 

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Jellstrom

Also Susan i want to thank you for all of the advice. I will most definatly try to be more accepting as she transition into herself. Right now its difficult for me I am trying to get over the fact the man I love is not longer there and there is now this beautiful woman who I have to learn to love all over again. I know I will eventually get there it's just going to take time. I know communication is key to making our relationship work which is why I have been trying to have an open dialogue with her keeping things honest and real.

I am glad that you could fully open up to your wife and that you guys are the happiest you have ever been. It seems like you got something special with her. I  also wish you all the best and where ever your journey takes you may you be happy and whole.

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Timber Wolf

Hi Jessica,

Welcome to TransPulse. I'm glad you've found us. 

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf🐾

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Kirsten

It sounds like you have the most important thing down. Open and honest communication!!! And that’s really the most important thing. 

It will be rough at times. Hormones are crazy so patience is very good too. But remember that your needs are still very important as well. Keep that dialogue open. 

Also therapy. Therapy therapy therapy. For both of you. It really helps. And a supportive friend to vent to is another really good thing to have. Cause when that frustration sets in for whatever reason you need to blow off steam. 

You truly are an amazing person to do this. I wish you the best of luck in this crazy and wonderful journey. 

Kirsten 

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SaraAW

Welcome Jessica!  I have yet to come out fully to my wife. Like your SO, she has seen me dress a little, take care of my nails and a few other things not typically associated with a male. I hope be able to discuss it with her in full soon. I am hoping to start therapy within the month and then bring her fully in. I hope she is as supportive as you. 

 

I know I have found the people here to be extremely supportive and hope you do too. 

 

*hugs*

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SugarMagnolia

Welcome Jessica! You're acceptance of your spouse is really wonderful.

I'll echo what Kirsten said. Make sure you BOTH have the support you need. You'll be transitioning too and that can be very challenging and overwhelming as you mentioned. Communication and self-care are critical for both of you. ❤️

Hugs,
Julie

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Roadster

Oh my goodness, Jessica - just to actually go looking for support on these groups, to take this seriously - it's a huge deal.  Talk about how you feel, good and bad, and make it clear that your partner can do the same.  It sounds like you're just the support she needs.


I actually liked it when my friends talked about the things that came up in their own life journeys that they hadn't thought through, almost as if my coming out was a catalyst.  It sometimes feels so weighty, having everything be about This Thing, so never fear to bring up your thoughts and feelings and introspections, too, even if they seem tangential.  It's all part of engagement.

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