Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

I came out to my boss today


Roadster

Recommended Posts

and it was a fantastic experience.  I mean, it helps that we have known each other a while, and she's very emotionally intelligent and supportive of me.  She took it just with an 'ah cool, glad you're sorting your stuff out' vibe, thanked me for trusting her with the information, and asked me to tell her - not just now, but ongoing over time - what she can do to support me.  I asked her to communicate this to the leadership team, but to wait until I had my first Dr appointment and knew that I had the clear to start T. She gave me a hug.

 

I really am very fortunate with my workplace and my co-workers, even if at the moment I feel like huffing into a paper bag from the adrenaline...!

Link to comment

That's great! Being supported at work is such a huge thing and I'm so happy that it's playing out like that for you. Congrats!!!

Link to comment

Yes, absolutely.  I was thinking about who and what in my life I could afford to lose, and one thing that was for certain was that I could deal with a lot of loss if I still had my workplace and co-workers.  It's like an extended family at this point.  (I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I lost my husband this year - he's nominally supportive, but the farther I get along the path, the harder it is for him to really internalize it successfully, if that phrasing makes sense.  I would be happy to stay close to him even if we're not intimate, but I'm preparing for the worst.)

 

I've been a member of the LGBT group at work since I started there, because I'm bi, but I only this week thought about actually coming out to the co-chair - a fantastic woman.  It turns out that one of her goals this year is to form a trans/nonbinary support group on campus, so I asked to be added to it.

Link to comment

Thanks - even though I know it intellectually, it still really helps to hear from people who have had similar experiences.

Link to comment

Yep, happening to me too. We still REALLY care for one another and will still be living together for sometime, but at this point we're just slowly unwinding things. My transition was only part of the reason for that, but it is hard knowing that it's even part of the reason. 

I'm very happy though that we're staying friends and supporting one another. That's a good place to be, too.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Roadster said:

I really am very fortunate with my workplace and my co-workers, even if at the moment I feel like huffing into a paper bag from the adrenaline...!

I am so happy for you and the work situation.  That is some great news.  Kudos to your boss too.  What a great personality she has.  This makes everything so much easier not having that on your plate to worry about.  I also wish you and your husband the very best in working to establish a new bond in your relationship if that is the direction you want.

 

Best Wishes,

Susan R?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Great news Michael!  I'm sure its a load off your mind.  That you are part of the LGBT group may have been a clue, plus you say you're on a campus (CSU?) so that helps too as schools tend to be more laid back about this.

Link to comment

Oh, sorry, I meant our work campus. Still, we're in the Bay Area, so it's awfully liberal when it comes to sex/gender issues.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It's an amazing experience to finally work and earn a living as your "true self", I hope it continues to go well for you as the changes unfold Roadster.

 

Hugs

 

C -

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

As a farmer who sells both retail and wholesale i was concerned about loosing sales during or after transition.  Fortunately i am perceiving a different reaction.  Like you we are in a liberal area.  I only wish the rest of the country could say the same.

Let us know how it goes.  This is certainly an adrenaline filled process!  There is so much at stake but the rewards are often fantastic!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Congratulations! It goes well.

 

I must admit mine was more implicit, and although I didn't have incentive to fully transition, it worked well when asked for a non-work email adress for a reseach task I gave a female one. I worked in an accepting community so it was the least of any problems. Although I have left now, I do realise how lucky I was. I do miss everything! People knock our health service, but it does have good points.

 

Tracy

Link to comment

I live here in the middle of a large Latino population.  I m the only gringo in my entire street, everybody else is Cuban.  I have a very good relation to my neighbors, and was concerned to come out to them, because we know how macho Latinos are, don't we?

Boy was I wrong!  It was like something very easy to do, the main reaction was, great, I hope yous till like to drink a beer with us!

 

I still feel bad that I was so racist, and projected a negative image onto an entire group of people, just because some of them are macho idiots!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 109 Guests (See full list)

    • SamC
    • Ivy
    • Petra Jane
    • Evelyn J
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ivy
      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...